Source: Telegraaf.nl/vrouw/seks-en-relaties (In Dutch)
NETHERLANDS – In the column ‘Between the Sheets’, women talk about their sex lives. This story comes from Inez (44). She has been practicing S&M for years and feels most comfortable in the role of mistress. She has a good partner in her current one. “Jaap loves being humiliated by me.”
“It has always been in my nature to call the shots between the sheets. I am quite dominant in everyday life, and it is not much different in bed. Yet, during the first few years of my sexually active life, I suppressed my dominance. I still had to figure it all out and was still quite inexperienced. It wasn’t until I got a partner who indicated that it turned him on when I called him names in bed that I let loose.”
Exciting
And by ‘loose,’ I really mean loose. I started experimenting extensively, with whips and bondage as well as things like candle wax. No vanilla sex for me; I love the rough stuff. And that is how I have been selecting my partners my entire life. If I had a date, I said it almost immediately.
Virtually all men find that incredibly exciting. And the bigger their mouths are in everyday life, the more they enjoy the fact that they have no say in bed. I enjoy that.
We follow you back!
Kinks
I have been in a relationship with Jaap (41) for four years. Before me, he had a long relationship with the mother of his children, and she didn’t want anything to do with a little excitement in bed. Jaap tried something once, but then she would immediately dig her heels in, he told me.
He had always put aside whatever fantasies he had. Until the marriage fell apart and he started dating. He selected his new bed partners based on their kinks, and that is how he became more and more involved in the world of SM. And that is how he ran into me online.
Soulmates
In one of his first messages, he already let me know that he saw a mistress in me and that he wanted to be my slave. No one had ever been so direct in that regard. We met up, and it was as if we had known each other for years.
Aside from our sex life, we have countless similarities. We share interests and hobbies; we are truly soulmates. I don’t think anyone suspects that we have a very specific division of roles in bed. I actually find that quite nice.
Toys
I really get into character when we do SM. You sometimes hear about women thinking about groceries during sex; well, I definitely don’t. I am completely focused on Jaap and our roleplay. It is important to us that we both orgasm.
I think that makes us different from most couples who engage in SM. I have a closet full of toys and outfits that we use. I do have a lock on it, though. I can’t bear the thought of our cleaning lady accidentally taking a peek inside.
Té geil
It is certainly not the case that we always do it with ‘the full package’; we also have sex the normal way: SM requires a lot of time, and we are willing to take that time. But we definitely schedule it in at least twice a month. Then we really go all out, and I can live off that for days.
Very occasionally we go to SM parties, but our enthusiasm for them is mixed. One time it is *too* hot, and the next we miss the connection we always find with each other.
Humiliation
A while ago, a friend told me that she was dating and had met a man who wanted to tie her up. She completely poured out about how crazy she thought that was. At moments like that, I really don’t dare tell anyone what my sex life is like.
No one knows about me, only Jaap and the men I’ve slept with before. As soon as Jaap steps into his role as a slave, I’m turned on. He enjoys being humiliated by me. I just can’t explain what that does to me. You might think it’s crazy, but we enjoy it.”
This column is based on true stories. Names are fictitious.
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