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SOME SEXY KINKS ARE MORE COMMON THAN YOU’D EXPECT

Source: Thrillist.com.

USA – Here’s the thing about kinks: no matter how deviant you are, there’s always somebody more depraved. And conversely, no matter how vanilla you like your bedroom entertainment, there’s always somebody even more missionary-only, more straight and narrow.

Sexual psychologists suggest that as long as you’re having good, consensual (or solitary) fun, you shouldn’t really worry about how kinky you are. But sometimes we can’t follow good advice — and far too many of us are shy about copping to our fantasies and desires in the bedroom.

If you get to feeling abnormal, it helps to know you’re not alone — and the internet is exceedingly helpful in this regard (Rule 34, anyone?). Science has also come to the rescue in recent years, with a raft of studies suggesting a pervasively kinky underbelly of our culture. Suffice it to say, just about everyone you know has got a kinky side that falls into one of the following categories.

Bondage

It has been reported (though in an apocryphal, urban-legend kind of a way) that a bound member of the opposite sex is the second most-common sexual fantasy, right after a nude member of the opposite sex. That’s why people keep getting tied up on TV shows and in the movies.

About half of all people’s fantasies include some kind of bondage, according to a 2014 study conducted by the University of Montreal and published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine. That’s right — half the people you’ve had sex with wanted you to tie them up… whether or not you did.

But what about the harder stuff? The same survey found that 47% of women and 60% of men had fantasies of dominating a partner. Being dominated was popular among 65% of women and 53% of men. Specific acts like spanking and whipping had lower tallies — but they all figure among “common” or “very common” kinks.

Voyeurism

Ten percent of men have had at least one instance of actual voyeurism in their pasts, according to a study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior. Which is to say, this percentage had actually pulled a peeping Tom, in one way or another, during their adult lives — not just at summer camp through that one hole in the girls’ showers.

In the study, 64% of men reported having a persistent fantasy of watching someone undress without their knowing. So even men who hadn’t engaged in voyeurism thought about it. Women are far less interested in this, though about one-third of women reported fantasies of having been watched or seen while undressing or having sex.

Foot stuff

Almost everybody likes a foot rub now and again, and sucking on toes is just good fun. A 2006 study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research confirmed the conventional wisdom, finding that feet/toes were the most likely body part to be lusted after as part of a fetish.

Approximately 47% of the 5,000 respondents with an actual fetish (defined as sexual arousal by a non-erogenous body part or object not part of the human body) had a foot fetish. Only the Big Four (boobs, butt, penis, and vagina) ranked above feet.

Watching porn

This one’s a low-hanging fruit, sure. But watching pornography is just a thing everybody does — and in 2013, some researchers in Canada proved it once and for all.

The researchers intended to study the impact of pornography on viewers by running physiological tests on men who had viewed porn vs. men who had not. After looking for months, they had failed to find even one male who had not viewed pornography. They had to shift the study to testing differences between men based on their age of earliest exposure to porn.

As for women, Marie Claire surveyed more than 3,000 readers and found more than two-thirds of them occasionally viewed porn, and 10% viewed porn in one form or another every day. Furthermore, the sex shop Ann Summers took a poll of women and found 85% of respondents used porn. Of course, this is 85% of women following a link to a sex poll on the internet… so the sample might be a little bit skewed.

Sex in inappropriate places

Taking sex out of the bedroom was the most common kink reported among the participants in the Canadian study, with 82% of men and women saying they fantasized about sex in unusual places. Now, “unusual” or “inappropriate” is a moving target, depending on how wild your regular sex is. For some couples, the forbidden fantasy is moving from the bedroom to the living room. For others, it’s a Victoria’s Secret changing room or the bathroom in a restaurant. Others might want the balcony at a movie theater or behind a parked cop car.

As these studies show us over and over, quantity and quality of kinks vary wildly. The moral of the story is clear: we’re all kinksters in our own ways. Don’t judge somebody (especially yourself) for what gets a motor running.

Jason Brick is a voracious reader, heroic drinker, and super-cool dad (not necessarily in that order of importance). When not testing the theoretical limits of coolness, he practices martial arts so he can beat people up for teasing him about how much he likes playing Dungeons & Dragons. Find out more at BrickCommaJason.com.

See larger photo: www.thrillist.com.

These vintage photos of legendary pinup girl Bettie Page were nearly destroyed

Source: Washingtonpost.com.

USA – In 1949, Bettie Page moved to New York with aspirations of becoming an actress. It was there she met one of America’s first ‘fetish’ photographers, Irving Klaw. From 1952 to 1957, Page worked as a model for Klaw for both his photographs and films, earning her the media nickname, “The Queen of Bondage.”

Klaw was targeted during the Kefauver Hearings of the Senate Subcommittee on Juvenile Delinquency, in which his photographs were claimed to be causing deviance, perversion and violence. Klaw was not charged, but felt compelled to burn his prints and negatives upon returning to New York. What photos survived were saved by his sister Paula. “BETTIE! : The Incomparable Bettie Page Archives of Irving Klaw,” is comprised of those images saved by Paula without Irving’s knowledge.

In a 1998 interview with Lorelei Sharkely, Page said of that time, “The only bondage posing I ever did was for Irving Klaw and his sister Paula. Usually every other Saturday he had a session for four or five hours with four or five models and a couple of extra photographers, and in order to get paid you had to do an hour of bondage. And that was the only reason I did it. I never had any inkling along that line. I don’t really disapprove of it; I think you can do your own thing as long as you’re not hurting anybody else — that’s been my philosophy ever since I was a little girl. I never looked down my nose at it.”

Cara Winter writes in BETTIE!, “Bettie Page and Irving Klaw’s collaboration produced far more than merely pin-up photographs. They gave generations of people (women in particular) something to admire; they held up a mirror to all women, by showing one, strong, unapologetic woman, at home with her curvaceous body. While by today’s standards some of these photographs may seem tame, even humorous, there was nothing funny about what Bettie and Irving were up to. They were, maybe unwittingly, blazing a trail for the future pro-sex feminists of the world to follow; a document of life, of love, and sexual freedom.”

See more larger photo’s: www.washingtonpost.com.

Why press exposed Keith Vaz but (at least initially) ignored John Whittingdale’s affair with dominatrix

Source: Pressgazette.co.uk.

UK – been asked why Fleet Street suppressed the news former Culture Secretary John Whittingdale had an affair with a woman who worked as a paid dominatrix but exposed Keith Vaz.

The former story was (at least initially) ignored because Whittingdale was not married at the time and there was no suggestion he had paid for sex.

I know plenty of people whose reaction to the Vaz news is “so what?”. And I sometimes wonder whether journalists are more socially conservative than their readers on these matters.

But Vaz is married, so there is the rather old-fashioned matter of betraying and possibly deceiving his wife.

Paying for sex is not necessarily illegal but morally it does put Vaz into another category. Many would view it as beyond the pale for someone who is in public office.

Those who sell sex are often desperate and exploited. There are strong links between the sex industry and people traffickers.

The Mirror tapes also reveal that Vaz was relaxed about the use of cocaine and the possibility of paying for it (even if he said he did not himself use it).

His swift resignation from his job as chairman of the Home Affairs select committee is a vindication of the Mirror exposé. Vaz himself clearly felt it was not possible to publicly defend his actions.

The intimate details of what Vaz got up to in one of his London flats were private. But the public interest in exposure looks clear to me.

As he said: “Those who hold others to account, must themselves be accountable.”

Vaz also said: “It is deeply disturbing that a national newspaper should have paid individuals to have acted in this way.”

As I understand it, the Sunday Mirror did not set out to entrap Vaz. But rather, the men who he was in contact with decided to sell their story to the paper.

It was pretty naive of him to think for a moment that this would not happen. He was far too public a figure for his ‘Jim the Washing Machine salesman‘ cover story to stick.

Still, he may yet have a case for breach of privacy over the level of detail revealed in the story.

A judge may decide that it was not necessary for the Mirror to reveal as much as it did in order to get the salient points across.

Remember, the News of the World found to its cost at the High Court in 2008 that in England, what a married public figure does in a basement is between him and the five paid dominatrices involved.

Even so, I suspect that for high-profile elected public officials the press have far more licence to report on private matters which reflect on their character. Particularly as Vaz’s committee has a remit to investigate vice and drugs.

One wonders whether those who favour greater privacy would rather the Sunday Mirror suppressed this story after being approached by the Eastern European prostitutes involved. It strikes me that this would be more unhealthy for society than the route of disclosure, which they chose and which should be the default position for journalists.

See larger photo: www.pressgazette.co.uk.

Bondage in Takoma Park!

Lecture and demonstration on bondage and sadism proves popular on YouTube

Source: Thesentinel.com.

USA – While sitting through City Council meetings might be described as torture, in the City of Takoma Park, that description has taken on a new meaning.

Last November, in the same room Takoma Park City Council meetings take place, sociologist and Gallaudet University associate professor Julie Fennell presented a detailed lecture about bondage, domination, sadism and masochism (BDSM), which included live demonstrations of rope bondage.

The lecture and demonstration were also taped and are on the city’s YouTube site. The extended version of Fennell’s lecture and demonstration, lasting more than two hours, is the third-most popular video hosted by Takoma Park City TV, with more than 5,000 views as of Monday. An interview with author Rachel Renee Russell and her humorous children’s book series Dork Diaries (20,793 views) places first and has been on the YouTube site for about a year. A video called “Great Big Book Club,” a discussion of James Joyce’s “Ulysses” (14,511 views) comes in second and has been on the YouTube site for about two years.

“(There’s a) long , really rich history that’s really obvious when you delve into things and realize how many people in the Takoma Park area are involved in the kink scene,” Fennell said.

Takoma Park paid a total of $350 for the lecture and for the production of the video, according to the community development coordinator and TV production manager.

Rosalind Grigsby, City development coordinator for Takoma Park, said the City paid Fennell $100 to lecture at the Takoma Park Community Center.

“(I’m) disappointed that we were using taxpayer resources for a program like that,” said Council member Terry Seamens (Ward 4), who said he was unaware of the lecture before a reporter brought it to his attention.

Takoma Park TV Production Manager Alvaro Calabia said the cost of producing the program was the hourly pay of city employees, a total of about $250. He said funding from City taxes covered the cost.

Calabia said the program last aired on Takoma Park Televison Aug. 18 at 10 p.m., as well as May 12 at 10:35 p.m. and June 10 at 10:45 p.m. He said the program aired on television 21 times.

The video in both a short and extended version has been available on YouTube since February.

The Takoma Park Arts and Humanities Commission selected Fennell as part of their lecture series after she applied and, according to members of the commission, they appreciated her academic standing.

Fennell said she applied to lecture for the city because it was an opportunity she had never seen before: to present an academic lecture to a general audience.

Only people 17 and older could attend Fennell’s lecture in person, but the video is available online without restriction.

In the six months the BDSM lecture has been on the YouTube channel, people viewed it 5,062 times as of Monday.

In addition to the lecture, Fennell also introduced two people on the videotape she called “kinksters” who demonstrated sophisticated rope bondage.

She requested audience members donate $10 to the performers as people in the field of BDSM don’t tend to make much money.

The second demonstration of rope bondage featured Fennell and another man, Brandon Neil. Outside her role as a professor, Fennell practices in being a “rope bottom” or the person who is tied up in BDSM.

Alvaro Calabia, Takoma Park City TV production manager, said he hesitated at first to produce the lecture and demonstration.

“It changed my perspective,” Calabia said. “I didn’t know much about it; whatever little I knew I would (have guessed) it was pornographic but… (I learned) it’s another type of performance art.”

Fennell said she saw her lecture in Takoma Park as a form of debriefing subjects after observing people in the D.C. area in her sociology research and sharing her findings with them.

“(The) bondage performances that people did (who) were completely clothed – I really don’t see a difference between clothed bondage performance or frankly a lot of Olympic sports, (such as) ice skating (or ballroom dancing),” Fennell said.

She said multiple partner dances accepted by society as appropriate are “erotically charged.”

“Artistic bondage, it’s just not that different (from a Tango), especially when people keep their clothes on,” Fennell said.

Susan Strasser, chairman of Takoma Park Arts and Humanities Commission, said commission members try to select a variety of lecture topics to avoid them clustering around one or two categories. She said commission members thought it would interest the community.

“We all were raising our eyebrows a little bit at the time we were (reviewing the BDSM lecture proposal),” Strasser said. “There’s scholarship on all types of things.”

The commission, partly funded by We are Takoma, paid Fennell for her lecture, according to city staff.

Strasser said some may consider BDSM an unusual topic for the We are Takoma lecture series, but then compared it with a musical topic the series also covered.

“Jazz in Japan is just as much out there,”

Reaction from other city officials to the lecture and video were varied.

City Council member Rizzy Qureshi (Ward 3) said an image of a flyer for the event sticks in his memory but he couldn’t explain why. He declined to comment because he had not seen the video.

City Manager Suzanne Ludlow said she remembered when someone was scheduled to lecture about BDSM last year.

“We have had some things before that have been particularly sensitive that, dealt with that people were recovering after incest, those kinds of things,” Ludlow said.

She said some forms of art may not be appropriate for children, but that that did not have to stop the city from making some of it available to audiences 17 and older.

“Takoma Park has consistently tried to think about art in a variety of ways,” said Ludlow. “And art’s not always ‘G-rated,’ but I think we’ve tried to have a broad diversity from kid-oriented things that adults might not care for to other topics that only some types of people might be interested in.”

Seamens said he wanted to talk to the council about the possibility of changing how the commission selects lecturer topics or regulating what can air on the city’s TV channel.

“I’d be interested to talk with my colleagues on the council and see whether we want to make any changes,” said Seamens. “Either guidelines for the commission or guidelines for the city television (channel).”

The city manager said she supported the commission’s decisions in general. Ludlow said BDSM is a part of Takoma Park’s identity, though it is not the only part. She supports the choices the commission members make.

“Overall they do a wonderful job,” Ludlow said. “They have brought all kinds of perspective… humanities presentations. It’s wonderful that it all happens right here.”

Council members Tim Male (Ward 2) and Fred Schultz (Ward 6) each said “No comment,” and did not watch the video. Council members Jarret Smith (Ward 5) did not return phone calls or an email before deadline.

Council member Peter Kovar (Ward 1) said he did not remember being informed of the lecture, but that he as a new council member may not have been on all the email lists to be informed of upcoming events. He declined to comment because he had not finished watching the video before deadline.

Takoma Park Mayor Kate Stewart said the lecture seemed to be academic in nature and she mentioned that the lecturer was a professor discussing her research.

“The content had mature themes and the city staff took appropriate steps regarding when the program would be aired,” Stewart said.

Stewart said no residents contacted city staff or city council members with complaints about the lecture or the video being shown on TV so she did not have any strong concerns.

See larger photo: www.thesentinel.com.

See video on Youtube: https://youtu.be/FDrK73FPhhk