Source: Voi.id
USA – Through the article “The State in BDSM Sex Dimensions”, we have criticized the role of the state which has gone too far in breaking into the private dimension of its people. Still part of the typical VOI Series “In BDSM Dimensions”, in this article we explore the view of BDSM as a sexual perversion as well as government narratives. Is it true?
The People’s Representative Council (DPR) included a regulation prohibiting bondage and discipline, sadism and masochism (BDSM) sexual activity in the Family Resilience Bill (UU). From the perspective of the DPR, BDSM is a sexual deviation such as homosexual, lesbian, and incest. Unfortunately, there is no foundation to strengthen their perspective.
The proposers of the clause also believe BDSM is the beginning of domestic violence (KDRT). We contacted an expert to answer this. Sexologist, Haekal Anshari, explains the two elements that are most worried about starting domestic violence: sadism and masochism. According to Haekal, sadism is sexual satisfaction obtained by hurting a sexual partner. On the other hand, masochism is the satisfaction one gets when being hurt or abused by a sexual partner.
If sadism and masochism stand respectively, it is a sexual perversion. However, standing together would be a different matter. After all, satisfaction is the highest value of a sexual activity, even if it is obtained from activities that involve violence and abuse. Complicated, indeed. But, that’s the principle.
What is clear, Haekal said that BDSM sexual activity is sexual activity which is generally fulfilled with agreement, especially regarding the limits of pain. Usually, BDSM couples will discuss their sexual activities in detail. About what is prohibited and what can be done. This is important to provide protection for each other.
“Because no one feels hurt and hurt anymore, and their sexual needs are met,” he said when contacted by VOI, Thursday, March 5.
“Usually they use some kind of agreement, that what they are doing is to stimulate and not to hurt. And they have their limits because only they know the limits, the pleasures,” Haekal added.
Philosophy of tools
As Haekal said, assistive devices play a vital role in BDSM sexual activity. In fact, the words bondage and discipline in BDSM terminology are associated with string ties. Ropes are usually used for erotic slavery fantasies. Usually the rope is tied with the consent of the dominant party (submissive).
The rope used must not be arbitrary, it must be made of soft material so as not to injure the skin. “Why add BD (bondage and discipline) because usually they use the rope to tie and the bond is to stimulate not hurt and they have their limits,” explained Haekal.
Apart from straps, there are a number of other tools commonly used in BDSM sexual activity. And like a rope, each tool has its own philosophy:
1. Collar
The collar is usually used when doing ‘role play’ in sex. The use of a collar is a bit of an insult as it symbolizes control and status like a pet, especially when added with a leash. Again, use collars for submissive approval.
2. Handcuffs
Handcuffs are commonly used by the dominant and submissive in BDSM. Handcuffs are used to restrict a person’s movement. In BDSM, there are several types of handcuffs that are specially designed to relieve pain from iron.
3. Ball gag mouth
Ball gag mouth has a mouth-like shape that has a ball in the middle. Usually attached to the mouth so that you cannot pronounce words. This has become a fantasy in itself for BDSM adherents.
When it comes to violence in BDSM activities, there are two tools that are most identical. First, whip. Whip is usually used if submissive violates the agreement. But also used when doing ‘role play’. Besides the whip, another tool that is identical to violence is the nipple clamp.
The nipple clamp can be applied to both male and female nipples. The clamp creates pain by restricting blood flow from the erect nipple by applying pressure to the nipple. Some people have the pleasure of seeing nipple clips applied to their partners.
Sex deviation
If we know that BDSM is not a sexual deviant, we can also explain the real sex deviance.
1. Exhibitionism
Have you ever encountered a man who showed off his genitals in public? This is a form of distortion known as exhibitionism. This is done to get sexual satisfaction. Indeed, most exhibitors are men. However, women can also experience these sexual disorders.
2. Voyeurism
Voyeurism is a sexual disorder in which a person feels satisfied when peeking at a naked person, taking a shower, or even having sex. If caught, that person will feel even more satisfied. People with voyeurism are generally around 18 years old and do so very often. Voyeurism is a crime if it is an adult.
3. Froteurism
Many experiences are shared by women netizens about how they had an unpleasant experience, namely sexual harassment in public transportation. The perpetrator rubs his genitals against a woman’s body or gropes her. This is a characteristic of people with touristism. The touristist feels that he has an intimate relationship with the victim when he does this.
4. Paedophilia
Pedophiles have an attraction, even involving sexual activity with children under the age of 13. Perpetrators usually force children to watch the perpetrator masturbate, hold the child’s genitals, and even force sexual intercourse. Cases like this often occur in Indonesia. What is even more sad is that sometimes the pedophile makes his close relative the subject.
5. Transvestism
Transvestism is the behavior of collecting clothes of the opposite sex, then wearing them in everyday life. Most of the sufferers are men, they get their own satisfaction when doing this. The phenomenon of transvestism that had become a topic of conversation was cross-hijab. Men wear the hijab like women, it is not clear what the purpose is to use the hijab which is women’s clothing.
6. Zoophilia and Beastiality
Both of these disorders have sexual activity that involves animals. The difference is that Zoophilic perpetrators engage in sexual activity not only physically, but also in emotional relationships with these animals. While beastiality doers get satisfaction when they have physical contact with these animals without involving emotional relationships.
This case occurred in India in 2018. A female goat died after being raped, resulting in the hashtag #JusticeForGoat on Twitter. The goat’s owner, Aslup Khan filed a police report claiming that his pet was gang raped by eight people. One of the perpetrators is known to have a mental disorder.
Seeing that many parties still do not understand between sexual violence and part of having sex, it is better if the government is not rigid and begins to accept that sex education is needed in Indonesia. Sex is not taboo because all human beings will have the experience. It remains just how to react so as not to produce a bad impact and be responsible.
Next article: Those Who Preserve a Long History of BDSM Sex
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