Source: Punchng.com
USA – BDSM, an acronym for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism, is a form of consensual sexual expression involving power play and role-playing.
While often shrouded in taboo, understanding its complexities can provide insight into human sexuality and the various ways people experience pleasure.
A 2020 publication by four researchers from the Covenant University, Ota, Ogun State – Rebecca Offong, Glory Ajet, Paula Ajayi, and Emmanuel Amoo – titled, “Perception and Participation of Nigerian Students in Deviant Sexual Activities” clearly states that the concept is ‘deviant’ and ‘un-African’.
It noted that although the history of sadomasochism now known as BDSM (bondage and discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism) could be traced to the 19th century, it began to gain popularity through mainstream media in 2011.
Despite the plethora of information on social media and the extent of practice in Nigeria, academic and reliable statistics are rarely available or encountered.
The media have portrayed BDSM to consist of the use of physical torture, and verbal and emotional humiliation to derive sexual satisfaction.
The study by the CU researchers explored the practices of BDSM activities among youths, especially undergraduate students.
A cross-sectional survey was carried out in Lagos State using a structured questionnaire that was administered among undergraduates in three universities.
The questionnaire evaluated participation in three BDSM categories – Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission and Sadism and Masochism. Data were analysed using univariate and bivariate statistical techniques.
The result indicated that BDSM activities are prevalent among youths.
Also, participants in the older age groups are fewer than others. Dominance and Submission record the highest frequency among others.
The prevalence rate between males and females was comparable as there was no significant difference.
The researchers also noted that the globalisation of education and learning in the world today aided by social media has brought a paradigm shift in socialisation among youths especially in terms of sexual behaviour.
Contrary to time immemorial when parents were in charge of enlightening their children and when formal education on sexuality centred on topics around hygiene.
“Older girls were taught self-esteem, respect, self-control and modesty while boys, on leaving schools, are tempted by factory and workshop life.
“Today, the media distributes information on diverse sexual activities to both the young and the old. That young people practise BDSM is not new, yet statistical evidence is unavailable to support this claim. Some BDSM activities involve physical torture, use of force, infliction of pain and verbal abuse for sexual excitement; these activities are considered assault if consent is not,” they noted.
However, quoting the World Health Organisation, the researchers also stated that young people were known for engaging in ‘risky, forceful and socially unacceptable sexual behaviour’.
“Sexual assault is considered a common occurrence among undergraduates in Nigeria. Studies on sexual assault among youths in Nigeria show that 13.8 per cent of females reported sexual assault in Maiduguri while 11.6 per cent of both sexes reported sexual assault in Ibadan,” they added.
However, pro-BDSM proponents have continued to emphasise the consensual nature of the act as ‘crucial’.
A sociologist, Mr Peter Ketch, noted that it was crucial to distinguish it from abuse, highlighting the importance of trust, communication, and mutual agreement in these practices.
In a research published on Research Gate, a free online research repository, the author stated, “At its core, BDSM is about trust, consent, and communication. Participants often report heightened intimacy and connection with their partners due to the vulnerability and trust required in these practices. For many, BDSM can be a deeply intimate and satisfying experience.”
Twists, turns in BDSM practices
For several older readers, this may be the first time of hearing about the term ‘BDSM’, as sexual activities, as described by several sources, is ‘simple, quick and satisfying’.
In Nigeria, the conversation around BDSM is often shrouded in secrecy and stigma.
However, there is a growing community of practitioners who are finding ways to connect and share their experiences. Online platforms and discreet social networks provide spaces for individuals to learn, discuss, and practice BDSM safely.
Statistics on the prevalence of BDSM in Nigeria are scarce due to the clandestine nature of the practice. However, anecdotal evidence suggests that it is more common than publicly acknowledged.
The lack of open discussion and education on the subject, experts have noted, can lead to misconceptions and unsafe practices, highlighting the need for more awareness and dialogue.
“Even though abortion, marijuana, and prostitution are criminalised in Nigeria, there are many people who practice them. BDSM also has large patronage,” says a sociologist with the Federal University, Kashere, Gombe State, who did not want his name in print because of the sensitivity of the matter.
BDSM encompasses a wide range of activities. Some common practices include as the name implies, bondage, discipline, dominance and submission and sadism and masochism.
For bondage, there is the use of restraints such as ropes, cuffs, or other tools to restrict a partner’s movement. Enforcing rules and administering punishments for transgressions, often involving elements of power exchange are seen in discipline.
For Dominance and Submission, roles involve one partner taking control (Dominant) and the other yielding control (Submissive). This dynamic can play out in various ways, from mild to extreme. Deriving pleasure from inflicting (Sadism) or receiving (Masochism) pain are the last of the acronym ‘S’ and ‘M’.
However, there are several twists and turns that encompasses a wider range of activities that may be unknown. In fact, there are several practitioners in Nigeria.
In a 2022 report by Culture Custodian titled, “Nigerian lives”, three kinksters tell their stories of what it is like practising BDSM in Nigeria.
For James, a 25-year-old male kinkster, he said, “I discovered BDSM through porn. I identify as a top (someone who gives action in a BDSM scene) or dominant (someone who takes an upper role in a psychological power exchange).
“I deal with married submissives. I like mature women or cougars (age 35 and above. Some are married, others are not. BDSM is not something you can openly reveal to people, especially in this country where everything is seen as taboo unlike countries like United States of America and Germany where BDSM is a culture and an open fetish.
“Here, you have to hide it, especially as a woman because people will look at you like you lack morals or home training.. I also use a rope on my submissives, meaning I am a rigger. Before I meet my client, they tell me how they want to be treated. Those who enjoy pain tell me what they want me to use on them.
“After the session, I ensure they are okay and well. I get feedback from them before they go home to find out if they enjoyed what we just did. I have a BDSM community and sometimes we host BDSM parties where people can express themselves and show off their kinks.”
Inasmuch as this sounds disturbing to the minds of many and may be new, a senior psychologist in Uyo, Akwa Ibom, Dr Usen Essien, explains that it was a taboo subject in Nigeria.
“The question is whether or not it is a foreign concept. That would be left for historians to identify. But, psychologically speaking, it is a sexual fetish, just like several others like kissing, nipple play, and foot fetishes among others.
“Sex is something that is still very much shrouded in a lot of secrecy yet many people are having sex and making babies. A more appropriate way to look at this is to make sex education a normal aspect of modern life,” he noted.
However, an educationist, Mr Aniedi Akpan, seems not to agree. In his response, he said the concept of BDSM was alien to African culture and had no place in modern African life.
“These things are things you see in pornographic videos and most of them are not real. Our people must be wary of some of these sexual fetishes, especially the youths that are always exploring,” he said.
Akpan, however, agreed that subjects around sexual fetishes and sexuality must be made a part of modern life with a ‘clearly thought out curriculum and properly monitored by the Ministry of Education’.
“There is a saying in Education that ‘If you don’t teach them (students), they will learn it elsewhere’. Most times, they learn from the wrong source. This concept of BDSM is pervasive. It should not be encouraged. Sexual activities are for adults and should be enjoyed, not painful. People who practice this need help,” he added.
Essien, speaking of psychological perspectives, noted that BDSM can be complex.
“According to the Journal of Sexual Medicine, BDSM practitioners are often psychologically healthy individuals with lower levels of neuroticism, a greater sense of well-being, and more secure attachment styles compared to the general population. This counters the stereotype that those who engage in BDSM are psychologically damaged or abnormal.
“The consensual nature of BDSM is critical to its practice. Consent, safety, and mutual enjoyment are the pillars that sustain healthy BDSM interactions. Consent differentiates BDSM from abuse; all parties must willingly agree to participate in the activities and have the freedom to stop at any time,” he stated.
But, from a sociological perspective, Essien noted that BDSM challenges conventional norms about sex, power, and pleasure. It disrupts traditional ideas about what is considered “normal” sexual behavior and opens up discussions about the diverse ways people experience intimacy and connection.
For instance, in Nigeria, a Christian cleric and theology researcher based in Rivers State, Pastor Itekena Chepaka, noted that BDSM remains largely underground due to cultural and religious taboos.
He said, “Public discourse on the subject is minimal, and many engage in these practices secretly due to fear of judgment or legal repercussions. However, with the rise of social media and global interconnectedness, more Nigerians are becoming exposed to and curious about BDSM.”
According to the preacher, the concept is not religiously accepted.
“That is not how God created sex to be. These things are western inputs that want to destroy the fabrics of society, and we must fight against it.”
Legal grounds
The legal landscape in Nigeria does not specifically address BDSM, but acts that may be considered violent or abusive can fall under assault or domestic violence laws. This creates a precarious situation for practitioners, emphasising the need for clearer legal frameworks that distinguish consensual BDSM from abuse.
A lawyer, Mrs Selena Onuoha, noted that legally, Nigeria does not have specific laws addressing BDSM.
“However, the Penal Code and Criminal Code cover acts of assault and battery, which could potentially be applied to BDSM activities if they are deemed non-consensual or harmful. This legal ambiguity underscores the importance of consent and communication within BDSM practices. Our laws still have a long way to go because if a person dies during BDSM, the ‘dominant’ partner may not be able to prove to the judge that it was a ‘consensual act’.
“How can it be consensual when there is obvious evidence of forceful entry, for instance, or injuries inflicted by the partner? These are very tricky issues and the constitution does not expressly cover it but there are always grounds to test the law,” she added.
Medical, safety considerations
Medically, BDSM can pose risks if not practiced safely, experts have noted.
A medical doctor based in the United States, Dr Adepeju Lawson, said it was important for participants to be aware of these risks and take appropriate precautions.
This includes, according to her, using safe words to signal distress, ensuring all parties are informed and consenting, and having a thorough understanding of the physical and emotional boundaries involved.
“The Journal of Trauma and Dissociation emphasises the importance of aftercare, a period of physical and emotional care provided to a partner after an intense BDSM scene. This can help mitigate any potential negative psychological impacts and reinforce the trust and connection between partners,” she said.
However, stressing the Nigerian context, she warned that practitioners must be careful before they inflict life-threatening injuries in the name of pleasure.
Psychological boundaries, safety
Given the complexities and potential risks of BDSM, there is a compelling case for the psychological reevaluation of individuals who engage in these practices.
“Rather than pathologising BDSM, mental health professionals should approach it with an open mind, recognizing the distinction between consensual activities and harmful behaviours,” Essien said.
In BDSM, clear boundaries and safety measures are paramount. Some key psychological boundaries and safety considerations, according to Essien, include consent, communication, trust and aftercare.
“All activities must be consensual. Consent should be informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing. Safe words are often used to ensure that participants can communicate their limits clearly.
