Here’s why people find water sports so hot—and here’s how to try it safely.
Source: Womenshealthmag.com
USA – A golden shower may sound like a fancy version of an everything shower—but it’s actually the rare kind of shower that often happens outside of the bathroom. And it’s also the type of shower designed to bring you pleasure, rather than deep-cleaning.
A golden shower involves “the erotic enjoyment of urine,” says Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist and sociologist, a sex educator with Good Vibes, and co-author of The Sex & Pleasure Book: Good Vibrations Guide to Great Sex for Everyone. The handful of recent media depictions of golden showers have shown the act as being pretty out there. But despite what those viral You and Industry golden shower episodes may imply, it’s “a pretty common kink, and quite safe and easy to do,” according to Gigi Engle, a COSRT-certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at dating app 3Fun.
And if you’re curious about it, you’re not alone. At least 8 percent of heterosexual women, 19 percent of heterosexual men, 20 percent of lesbian and bisexual women, and 40 percent of gay and bisexual men report having fantasized about pee play before, according to one 2020 survey of more than 4,000 Americans published in Tell Me What You Want by internationally recognized sex educator Justin Lehmiller, PhD.
There are many reasons someone may fantasize about golden showers or explore pee play, says Engle. Urine can be a way to establish dominance over a submissive in BDSM; explore temperature play; invoke a humiliation kink; and/or try something that feels culturally taboo, she says. It’s also possible that someone just enjoys bodily fluids, adds Queen.
That said, there are a lot of safety and hygiene practices to keep in mind before you get going. Read on for a complete guide to golden showers, featuring insight from a team of professional kink educators and sex therapists. Ahead, they break down all the reasons someone might be into piss play—plus, share their top tips for incorporating golden streams into sex in a way that is both as pleasurable and safe as possible.
What’s the difference between a golden shower and water sports?
Some kinksters use “golden shower” to refer specifically to the act of peeing on a partner, and use the term “water sports” for other forms of sexual play involving urine, including smelling or drinking it, says sexologist Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, host of the Sex With Dr. Jess podcast and co-author of The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay. However, these days, the terms are more or less used interchangeably, she says. Colloquially, sex acts involving pee may also be called “piss play” or “pee play,” and some sexologists refer to the term as urolagnia or urophilia, says Queen.
There are many reasons someone might enjoy water sports.
If you’re someone who has spent most of your sex-having life peeing before sex to increase pleasure, peeing after sex to reduce the risk of a UTI, or feverishly asking Google whether squirt is the same as pee, the idea of intentionally incorporating the yellow-tinged fluid into sex may seem confusing. But there are many reasons someone might enjoy water sports, spanning the gamut from vanilla to kinky.
It looks and feels good.
Some people enjoy being peed on because they find the warm feeling of pee to be either comforting or arousing, says Engle. Some individuals view this as a form of temperature play, in the same way that others might use hot wax, warming lubricants, or sex toys with pre-heating capabilities, she says.
It’s also worth noting that “pee is another bodily fluid that comes out of the same place of ejaculate,” says Queen. So, for some pleasure seekers, the joys of pee play come down to the experience of watching the genitals spurt and squirt, she says.
As for the “giving” partner, so to speak, some enjoy watching their partner become aroused at the sight or sensation of their pee, says Engle. Meanwhile, for others, the pleasure is tied up in the intense relief of, well, relieving themselves—especially after holding it in for a while.
There can be an element of power play.
Golden showers can establish or reinforce power dynamics, says Engle. After it’s been previously negotiated, for example, a Dominant might pee on the submissive much as a dog would a fire hydrant to mark their “territory.” Alternatively, a Dominant might establish their power by telling their submissive when they are and aren’t “allowed” to urinate or by “forcing” them to pee on command.
It can be a tool for another fantasy or kink.
Many pleasure seekers may use urine to fulfill a number of other fantasies or kinks, according to Engle. Kinksters who are into (consensual) humiliation and degradation, for example, might enjoy being peed on or being commanded to wet themselves, she says, because both activities are generally regarded as in bad taste or socially embarrassing. For others, piss play can just be a part of messy sex, Queen says.
It can feel intimate.
Pee play transforms something that is regarded as a solo, private act and transforms it into a shared activity, says sex and kink educator and psychologist Rebecca Blanton, PhD, aka Auntie Vice, author of The Big Workbook for Submissives. “This sharing can feel incredibly intimate,” she says.
Not to mention, all the conversations that need to take place about sexual fantasies, needs, and desires ahead of exploring golden showers can feel sexually as well as emotionally enriching, she adds. (More on these ahead!)
There are a few safety protocols to keep in mind.
As far as sex acts involving bodily fluids go, golden showers are relatively low-risk. “Urine-to-skin contact is relatively safe,” says Shamyra Howard, PhD, CST, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker and AASECT-certified sex therapist. However, water sports in general are not a zero-risk sexual activity, as peeing on any wounds or into any orifice (i.e., mouth, vagina, or anus) can lead to infections in specific scenarios, she says.
This is because, contrary to popular belief, “urine is not sterile,” says O’Reilly. “Research suggests that urine contains bacteria that can play an important role in urinary health and disease.” Additionally, pee can contain bacteria if an individual has an active infection, which could result in potential STI transmission, says Howard.
“Urine-to-skin contact is relatively safe,” says Howard.
All of this might make water sports sound a little scary. But if you’re specifically into being peed on, it doesn’t apply! Urinating on someone’s skin is generally safe and unlikely to transmit infections unless there’s an active wound, says Howard. The skin functions as a natural barrier, keeping things (like urine) outside the body, she explains.
“Consuming urine or taking it into the body, however, is less safe than having someone pee on your unbroken skin,” says Queen. Swallowing urine or even just gurgling urine can present some risk of infection, she says. Whether on purpose or by accident, if you feel sick after imbibing urine, call Poison Control at 1-800-222-1222 or visit your local urgent care.
On a similar note, “peeing inside any orifices can disrupt the natural pH,” says O’Reilly, which can increase the risk of irritation and infections, like yeast infections or bacterial vaginosis. With that, if you are engaging in water sports wherein pee lands near the inner or outer genitals or bum, Blanton suggests the receiver wash the outer area with warm water and fragrance-free soap immediately afterward. This is especially important before transitioning into another sex act, as this will reduce the risk of pee getting into the vagina or anus, she says. (BTW: You shouldn’t wash the inside of your vaginal canal even if someone peed inside it, as doing so has been linked to several adverse health outcomes.)
“Consuming urine or taking it into the body, however, is less safe,” says Queen.
Another place you don’t want to get pee? Your eyes. If pee seeps into your sockets, Poison Control suggests rinsing your eyes ASAP, as it can lead to conjunctivitis, or pink eye.
Keeping pee play from being messy requires some planning.
“Water sports are inherently messy, which is part of the appeal for some people,” says Blanton. Still, there are plenty of ways to get wet and wild with pee that won’t ruin your mattress—or lead to days’ worth of clean-up. Phew.
As you might guess, “peeing in the shower or bathtub will allow for the easiest clean-up,” she says. “If you are doing this in a room other than the bathroom, having a large bowl or basin to collect the urine is a good idea.” However, good aim is needed to avoid a mess, which may require some practice.
Luckily, there are also waterproof blankets and sheets, which are perfect for preventing mess with pee and other fluids, says Blanton. Sex blankets like the Liberator Moisture-Proof Fascinator Throw ($145) feature an inner moisture barrier that keeps body fluids (like urine) from leaking through to the bedding and mattress below. Meanwhile, some waterproof sheets like Tom of Finland Water Sports Sheets ($65.50) are made from non-absorbent vinyl and feature a lip to reduce the risk of spillage.
Here’s exactly how to have a golden shower, per experts.
1. Chat about your desires more broadly.
If you and your partner haven’t ever talked about your sexual desires before, going from zero to water sports can feel intimidating. Filling out a “yes, no, maybe” list about your kinks can help get these discussions started, says Queen. “This activity will create a conversation where you are all talking about your desires,” she adds. During this convo, you can mention that golden showers are in the ‘yes’ column for you, and gauge your partner’s interest.
2. Gab about getting golden.
The first thing you need to do before any sex act is get consent, says Howard. That means you need to chat about piss play long before clothes come off and pee comes out.
How you bring up your interest in the act should hinge on your and your partner’s preferred communication style regarding sensitive subjects, says Blanton: “Some people like to have these conversations over a meal, while others will be more comfortable initially broaching the subject via text message to give a partner time to digest this new information.”
Whether via text or over tagliatelle, it’s important to share what you want to try and the fact that you want to know their thoughts on the subject, she says. “Explaining why you find golden showers sexy will help them understand your desire,” she adds.
If your partner is interested, talking specifics and trying it are your next steps. “If they aren’t into it, you can ask them if you might bring this up at a later date or if this is a permanent hard ‘no’ for them,” says Blanton. However, if they express that it is permanently off the table, refrain from pressuring them, she says.
Remember: “It is okay for a partner not to be into the same thing you are,” says Blanton. Even if you are in a monogamous relationship, there are still ways for you to explore your interest in piss play, such as through audio erotica, ethical porn, kinky short stories, and more.
3. Have a safety talk, too.
Before having any kind of sex that involves urine, O’Reilly suggests taking a harm-reduction approach and chatting about potential risks. Sharing your current STI status will allow you to make informed decisions about the specific type(s) of pee play on the menu, she says. “Planned Parenthood and other clinics offer free and low-cost testing services,” adds Blanton.
4. Start slowly.
If your partner is down, Blanton suggests working your way up to the big event with a few baby steps. “This could include watching your partner urinate in the toilet during their pre-sex ritual, or it may mean peeing on their feet in the shower,” she says. This will help increase the comfort of everyone involved, and also reduce the pressure on one specific moment, she adds.
Once you’re ready to really go golden, chat with your partner so you both know you’ll be putting the kink into practice that night.
5. Drink ahead of time.
Odds are, just a sprinkle of tinkle won’t fulfill your golden shower fantasy. That’s why Blanton suggests drinking 32 to 36 ounces of water in the hours leading up to sex, but releasing it if/when it becomes uncomfortable to retain. The important part here is to go when you need to go, because holding pee for a long time is linked with increased UTI risk and can strain both your bladder and pelvic floor, according to Howard.
In addition to adding volume to your flow, drinking a Nalgene’s worth of water will dilute the urine, making it less pungent, says Howard. If you’re concerned about the scent of your urine, “you’ll also want to avoid foods like asparagus, broccoli, garlic, onions and coffee, which can change the smell,” she adds.
6. Clean up.
After all is said and come soaked in urine, Queen recommends cleaning up ASAP. You’ll want to throw your towels, sex blankets, or sheets in the wash soon after, likely with baking soda or distilled vinegar, she says. You’ll also want to blot furniture or carpets you have sprinkled on, she says, since “stale pee isn’t a scent that inspires most people.” Not to mention, it’s harder to get pee out of upholstery after it has dried.
Oh, and don’t forget to revel in your sexperimentation after you’re all cleaned up. Because even if you discovered golden showers aren’t your cup of coital tea, you still strengthened your sexual communication muscle, which will serve you well during all future sexual encounters.
