This Roleplay Kink Is Both Controversial & Sexy — Here’s What It’s Like to Explore DDLG
Source: Askmen.com.
USA – Have you ever played “Never Have I Ever” before? Here are the rules: Everyone puts up ten fingers, and you go around in a circle and one by one share something sexy or scandalous that you’ve never done before. When someone else shares something you have done, you have to put one finger down — and of course, drink. The first person to put all 10 fingers down loses (or wins, depending on how you look at it).
Well, AskMen is still playing Never Have I Ever, and the rules are simple: In each edition of this column, we speak to someone about doing something new in bed, whether it’s a long-time fantasy, something that just happened, or even something they regret. They tell us everything so you get an inside look at what some sexual experiences are actually like.
Hi, daddy.
Did that turn you on? If so, my psychic skills tell me you’re likely dominant in bed and may be interested in hearing the good news about Daddy Dom/Little Girl — or DDLG.
DDLG is a form of age play and falls within the kink/BDSM umbrella. In DDLG, two adults get off on pretending that one is the daddy (the dominant) and one is the little girl (the submissive). While these words may invoke images of young women in pigtails and older men with money, know that any gender(s) can enjoy this lovely and quite healthy form of role play.
You don’t need to be a dude to like being called “daddy,” but other names for this kink — such as “MDLG” (Mommy Dom Little Girl) and “MDLB” (Mommy Dom Little Boy) — do, indeed, exist.
There also doesn’t need to be a prescribed age gap in either direction. Megan Fox is older than Machine Gun Kelly, but still caught everyone’s attention when she replied, “Whatever daddy says,” at the 2021 VMAs when asked about MGK’s thoughts regarding her outfit.
So what separates DDLG from plain ol’ D/S, or dominance and submission? Well, the first ingredient is age play.
It’s important to stress, whenever age play comes up that it does not involve minors, and is roleplay between two consenting adults. This needs extra emphasizing lately, because if the conservatives and the prudes are going to come for you, whether it’s drag queens or normal turn-ons, their favorite weapon is often to pretend children are at risk. They’re not.
DDLG involves one partner not only taking the dominant role, but also acting as a caretaker, such as buying dinners or paying for all the groceries while the baby girl always cooks.
As the name suggests, the dom also gets off on the daddy dynamic. For example, the daddy dom may “punish” his baby girl through orgasm denial or ordering her to wear a butt plug all day, while the subby baby girl gets off on taking orders and pleasing daddy.
Plenty of people will tell you that such roleplaying scenarios offer folks a chance to heal childhood wounds, and they can. But it’s important to remember that not every kink needs a rhyme or reason, and even if you don’t have “daddy issues,” you may want a daddy.
The second taboo ingredient in DDLG is the fantasy of incest. If you’ve ever watched porn where a “stepdad” comes home and must punish his “stepdaughter” through anal training or something like that, congrats. You’re already enjoying DDLG play and probably didn’t even know it.
That’s the beauty of kinks — you can go as small as you like, such as watching certain kinds of porn occasionally, or as big as you like, such as engaging in a 24/7 role-play scenario. In such DDLG relationships, the folks involved always stay in their roles. Daddy is always daddy.
In fact, for some, the out-of-the-bedroom stuff is their favorite part; DDLG doesn’t have to be constantly about sex; for some, it might be barely sexual at all. Many other couples prefer to leave the play for the bedroom, whether extreme (baby girl has been so bad she’s not allowed to cum), or relatively vanilla (simply calling your partner “daddy” during sex).
To get a better idea of what DDLG is like, we asked 42-year-old New Yorker Elliot (not his real name) how his first DDLG experience with his current girlfriend went.
AskMen: Tell me about the first time you tried DDLG.
Elliot: About three years ago, my current girlfriend called me “daddy” during sex. We had a natural D/S dynamic already, and I’ve always been a dom, so the rest evolved naturally.
If you don’t mind me asking, if you’ve always been dominant, why did it take you until your 40s to get into this?
Honestly, no one brought it up before. I slut it up when I’m single, but I tend to settle into long-term relationships. I’ve been the dom with exes — just not daddy.
I have to admit; I think the business success I’ve had over the past few years helped me feel more like a daddy. I’m sure that you’ll have to write that anyone can be a daddy, and I’m sure that’s true, but certain aspects, like taking [my girlfriend] out to fancy dinners and paying for it, just weren’t possible for me not that long ago when my business was still getting going.
Plus, in the same line of honesty, she’s about a decade younger than me. Previously, I actually tended toward older women. So I guess I’m going to be a pretty straightforward interview, but it’s true.
It’s OK! There are definitely stereotypical “daddy” things like buying dinner that are easier if one has money. Sugar daddies are different, of course, but there can be overlap. Can you tell me about some of the caretaking, less sexual ways your DDLG relationship manifests?
Sure. We live together now, and the one that comes to mind is that I pay for all of the groceries. She orders them (with my credit card) and cooks each meal (not to mention makes my lunches). Plus pies and cakes. It’s pretty epic. We have sex each night.
I know the kids are into saying “trad life,” these days, and at least for us, DDLG seems to fetishize traditional gender roles in many ways. She takes care of me, and I take care of her.
OK. Now tell me how it looks in the bedroom.
Well, she calls me daddy, and often that alone is enough, or all we do on a slow night. There are a lot of punishments: spankings, paddling, lots of impact play, and I’m getting better at bondage. I’ll tie her up into a submissive little pretzel.
Most often, when she acts super bratty, which is often, I just punish her through rough sex. That’s a favorite of ours. “Daddy’s baby girl was bad so now she has to be punished.” She loves it.
You mention a lot about how traditional your relationship is, but I was hoping you could tell me the threesome story to help balance it out because it’s so funny.
Oh. Haha yes. Well, my girlfriend is bi, and while we’re not poly, we do sometimes sleep with others, most often together as a couple, so we’ve had a few girlfriends. Once, during a threesome, another woman called me “daddy,” and while she kept her cool in the moment (because she liked the other woman and it wasn’t actually a big deal), later on, my girlfriend’s like, “Yeah, one of my boundaries going forward is only I get to call you daddy.”
See, the sub (and baby girl) is the one with the most power in the end! Thanks so much for sharing, and happy daddying.
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