WHIP INTO SHAPE Tie bows, never knots….and 5 other things every beginner should know before trying bondage with their partner
Here’s how to turn up the heat in the bedroom this winter
Source: Thesun.co.uk.
UK – OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr
Over the last three years interest in bondage and spanking has soared, probably due to the 50 Shades effect.
Last year, 36 per cent of people have expressed an interest in a little hanky-spanky.
But if you’re dying to whip out, er, a whip, arm yourself with a few tricks and tips to keep it sexy and safe.
Otherwise you might find your partner heading for the hills instead of enjoying the thrills.
Six things you should know for red hot fun…
1. Want to get tied up in knots?
Tying each other up is one of the easiest ways to get turned on. You can give it some verbal-play telling them: once you’re tied up I’ll do my evil bidding with you!
Tease them as they squirm with pleasure. Just don’t tie them up with knots!
Always tie with bows which are easy to undo or invest in safe straps/ties from an adult shop.
Top tip: Once tied up, drizzle massage oil over their pleasure-zones. Gently stroke your fingertips through it, exciting!
2. How kinky do you want to go?
Take it easy as you don’t want to freak them out as you reveal your new 50-shades side.
If you’re dying to paddle their bottom, approach it tactfully.
Agree that you’ll go gently. They can always take the paddle to you if you don’t!
Top tip: Play fair – suggest that you both take turns revealing what kinky things you want to try.
3. Want to bark orders at them?
Fantasising you’re the master and they’re your slave might excite you – you can’t wait to bark raunchy orders at them.
Problem is, one survey found the majority of partners were turned off when their partner suddenly talked dirty.
Top tip: As you two enjoy kissing and caressing ask them if there are certain off-limit words or phrases that would turn them off. Respect this.
4. Want to whip up excitement?
If you’re going to whip your partner, never do so near their face – you don’t want to take their eye out. Wearing a pirate patch for a pirate role-play is one thing, but a real patch is quite another.
Also don’t accidentally whip their genitals.
Top tip: Tie your partner to a chair, strut around them as you whip the floor at their feet. Treat it as a role-play that you’re in command.
5. Trying some hanky-spanky?
Remember you can’t spank any given area for more than a few minutes or you risk bruising them.
They want to be able to sit down at work the next day without groaning for the wrong reason.
Top tip: They should be relaxed and comfortable. Then you can gently start spanking their bottom. Move around the fleshy areas. Ask them if you need to go softer or firmer.
6. Coded messages
It’s crucial to agree a code word for when you want to stop sex-play like being tied-up, spanked, etc.
And because you might use dirty talk in role-plays, choose a neutral word as a code that means you want to stop.
Something like ‘pineapple’ so it’s not confused with red-hot, role-play sex-chat.
Top tip: Dream up fantasy scenarios to help your bondage play. One survey found this gave people confidence to share things they found really hot.
Try the scenario that you’re lonely strangers who meet in a bar…and are up for anything even being tied up.
Bondage play gives you lots of opportunities for cheeky banter to keep things flirty: “You tied up today,” you ask knowingly.
See more & larger photo’s: www.thesun.co.uk.
Call Dr Pam on Talk Radio with any dilemma on Saturday, November 26th and Saturday, December 3rd from 9 PM to midnight on 0344 499 1000
Follow Dr Pam on twitter @drpamspurr
For more advice visit www.drpam.co.uk
