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He ran a sex fetish club in Miami. Now, he’s going to prison for murder

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, November 09, 2019 01:44:43

Source: Miamiherald.com

USA – MIAMI – Three years ago, Luis Moya was opening Hammer & Nails, a Miami sex fetish club that featured a dungeon, cages and electric-shock equipment.

On Friday, he sat handcuffed in a different setting — in a courtroom, wearing an orange jumpsuit, facing the family of Ana Rosa Moreno, his ex-roommate whom he strangled to death.

“The simple fact that I can no longer call her or text her to tell her I love her hurts me so much,” Wendy Moreno, her sister, told the court.

She called him “a monster who decided to end her life for selfish reasons.”

Moya, 52, offered no apology, and said nothing as a Miami-Dade judge sentenced him to 45 years in prison for second-degree murder.

“At your age, Mr. Moya, 45 years is going to be a life sentence,” Circuit Judge Marisa Tinkler Mendez told him.

Jurors convicted Moya in June. Miami-Dade prosecutors Suzanne Von Paulus and Stewart Hedrick argued for a life sentence, saying the 21-year-old Moreno died in one of the “most horrific ways a human being can die.”

Moya’s defense lawyers said he was a father of one who had a string of businesses over the years, including a tilapia farming venture and a boat tour company. He could still contribute to society, lawyers Lauren Dawson and Alex Saiz said.

“To give Mr. Moya a life sentence is putting a huge burden on the taxpayers,” Dawson said.

Moya’s lifestyle and work were not shared with jurors.

In 2016, Moya opened the fetish club in Wynwood, which he touted as a safe space for people who enjoy “BDSM,” an acronym for bondage and sadomasochism.

“People think BDSM has to give someone pain all the time, but it has nothing to do with that,” Moya told the Miami New Times in 2016. “The majority of BDSM is about having control over someone’s feelings and beliefs and making them feel awesome. We’re humans; sex is a part of every human’s lifestyle.”

At trial, jurors heard that he strangled Moreno, who worked at a car dealership and lived for a time with him in his Kendall home. Moya had lied to her, saying he was only 37 and a wealthy Brazilian businessman.

Prosecutors said Moya became enraged with Moreno after she moved out.

Police discovered her body on the 2900 block of Southwest First Avenue early in the morning on Dec. 15, 2018. Investigators initially believed she was an overdose victim, until an autopsy revealed she had been strangled.

Moya admitted to Miami homicide detectives that she returned to his home that night. He claimed she demanded money, then asked him to drop her off in The Roads, a Miami neighborhood. At first, he admitted he drove her there, but claimed she got out, got into someone else’s car and he drove away.

But jurors saw a surveillance video that depicted him dumping her body, and him driving away in her Honda Accord. When shown the video by police, Moya changed his story and denied the car on the footage was the one he was driving.

The state also presented toll records showing him driving from Kendall to Miami, text messages outlining their angry exchanges and his Google searches that led him to disable the GPS in her car before discarding the body.

The murder devastated the Moreno family. She had planned to attend Miami Dade College, and eventually join the military. Her sister said she even hoped of becoming a police officer or a lawyer, and described her as a free spirit.

“She had the most contagious laugh you could ever imagine,” Wendy Moreno said.

The family was happy with the 45-year prison sentence.

“She saw the good in everybody, even when they didn’t deserve it,” Wendy Moreno said. “It’s just tragic that somebody she trusted did something like this to her.”

Click on photo to see video and more and larger photo’s on Miamiherald.com



What It’s Like Being a Male Dom for Women in India

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, November 09, 2019 01:30:56

Source: Vice.com

INDIA – “It’s difficult to have this lifestyle because it becomes, for many guys especially, an easy way to hurt women.”

Sex in India is a rather contentious subject. And if you bring up BDSM—or bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism—chances are people will fluctuate between not knowing the abbreviation or referring to Fifty Shades of Grey. There’s a direct correlation with images of chains and whips and handcuffs. There’ll even be some scenes of bondage in Christian Grey’s “red room of pain” playing in your head.

Needless to say, BDSM—a blanket term for various practices that involve consensual exploration of power and pain to derive sexual pleasures—is an uncomfortable conversation that takes place behind closed doors or intimate online spaces. Not to mention the immense stigma and taboo since a lot of sexual imagination in this nook of the world is either vanilla (read: heteronormative) or sanskaari.

However, one of the most complex dynamics in the BDSM lifestyle is that of a dom-sub relationship, especially for those outside the kink community. Dominant (dom) and submissive (sub) are power relations between two persons where each one takes on one of the roles. And this doesn’t have to be just sexual. Dom-sub relationships can be physical, sexual, intimate or even without any physical contact. Just like literally any relationship, dom-subs can be romantically involved, or monogamous, or polyamorous, irrespective of gender or sexuality.

Of the two, female dominatrix dominate popular culture and imagination, be it in the bedroom or professionally. In India, though, a male dominant/dom comes with a power dynamic that already exists in our patriarchal setup. So what does it mean to be one in India? VICE reached out to Shantanu David, a 30-year-old New Delhi resident and writer, who opens up about the misconceptions of BDSM, the catharsis of being a dom in bed, and being able to do it in a country like India.

VICE: Hey Shantanu. Maybe we could start with why you like to dominate.
SHANTANU DAVID: It’s probably psychological, because I’m not a very dominating person in my life. But sexually, I like to retain a degree of control.

What led you to exploring the dom lifestyle?
I was 16 years old. My girlfriend, who was 17, and I were having a lot of sex at the time. We would fuck like three-four times a day, like all teenagers do. Then it gradually started to get a bit staid so this one time, I spanked her experimentally while we were fucking and she came immediately, and so did I. And she and I explored that together.

So you never took on the dom role very strictly?
Once I explored both sides, I decided I was more into domming. So I stuck to that.

Do you have a niche preference while domming?
I wouldn’t call it a niche. There are different categories. I suppose I would qualify as a sadistic dom. It means that I derive pleasure from being cruel. This manifests more as emotional and lifestyle control. I don’t like to physically hurt people. I suppose I enjoy a certain degree of emotional control in bed, rather than spanking.

How does that manifest?
It involves picking outfits, actually more like picking undergarments.

Are there any specific kinds of undergarments?
It’s based on the day and what I feel like. I often pick colours depending on my mood. Like there are days when I feel like thongs. I’m a big fan of lingerie so I love stockings and corsets. My aesthetic is very 1920s Hollywood.

Do you buy them and keep them?
Of course. I wouldn’t let anyone buy something that I’m asking for. But I don’t keep them. I give it to them as soon as they’re bought. I don’t keep anything except for receipts and broken dreams (laughs). No, but I don’t collect women’s undergarments.

In a conservative city like Delhi, how do you seek out sub partners?
So I’m on this website called Fetlife.com, which is essentially Facebook for people who’re into the lifestyle. So you put up your profile, you get people to chat with you, and so on.

Is it safe and easy to reach out to people?
Well, I do use a fake name. Earlier I used to use my real name, but I had some bad experiences with some crazy people. One girl turned up at my house at 2 AM and rang my bell [I live with my parents]. She wanted to see me. She got attached, I suppose. Ever since, I’ve used a fake name.

Do you have any preferences in subs?
It’s more about emotional connection, I suppose. I’m superficial as fuck too, but ultimately it’s about the connections.

What would you connect with?
Probably damaged people like myself! We end up talking about our lives.

So these are relationships, and not one-off encounters.
If I have an emotional connection with someone, I stand by them. I don’t do multiple partners or a one-off thing. I had a long relationship in my mid-20s. Before that, I would only do BDSM stuff with my girlfriends, but after that, I’ve actively sought sexual partners and not necessarily dating partners. But I can’t do a one-time thing. These relationships usually last a while.

Do you go through a transition from this lifestyle to the “regular” one?
I think this lifestyle is a part of life now. After our sessions, we watch Netflix and chill, literally.

Where do you prefer having those sessions?
At my home, her home, or a hotel. My sexual appetites are very expensive!

What does the dom lifestyle involve?
So when it comes to sex, it’s just that: Sex. But the rest is all about control. Being called “daddy” is my latest thing, probably because I have daddy issues. I think the most I have physically hurt someone is using a belt with their consent, but I don’t really do the whole thing like bondage, etc.

What are the misconceptions people have about the BDSM lifestyle?
BDSM has a lot of nuances. But the first misconception is Fifty Shades of Grey. Everyone in the community hates that book/movie because it’s so fucking horrendous. We call that physical abuse and rape. The one rule in the community is that you never do anything without their explicit permission.

Another misconception is around power. Every person who’s into BDSM is not on a power trip. It’s basically faith, consensual and there’s a code of conduct called RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). The basic tenet is that you don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want done to yourself. I mean, sure, you stretch boundaries, but always, always, always, it’s consent first. So if you go into a scene and find someone, you first find out what their hard limits and soft limits are. You shouldn’t cross them.

Do you see this lifestyle as therapy?
Oh it’s very cathartic. For me, since I’m not very domineering in real life, it sort of helps me not be scared of putting my own point and thought across. On the other hand, a lot of the ladies I’ve been with are very successful in their line of work and they’re in positions of power. So they just like to “lose” control, as it were, because it gives them a sense of freedom to not have to decide certain things while in the scenario. Most of the subs I know are super boss-women and are in a position where they have to juggle a career and life. So being able to be told what to do within certain strictures, is freeing for them. And vice versa for someone like me, where I get to let go of my own sense of self.

Does your family know about this?
Yeah.

Do they have any reservations?
They’re not the ones having sex, I am.

How did they find out?
We were on a family vacation in Hungary and I went to a sex shop, so I picked up a ball gag, nipple clamps and a riding crop. I kept these in my bag. And my mom and my sister, being the pernicious little sneaky ones that they are, opened them and there was this awkward silence. When I came back from my jaunt, I realised they’d seen it. I said, “You saw what’s in the bag, huh?” And they were like, yeah, and my sister said, “Bhaiyya, you’re so weird.” And I was like, yeah I know. But that was pretty much it.

What all do you keep for your dom sessions?
Handcuffs, nipple clamps and leather blindfolds. But I don’t use the leather blindfolds because I was blindfolded for a meal once and I freaked out. I realised I hated that kind of loss of control. Since then, I have never used the blindfold on anyone because it was so fucking frightening for me that I don’t want to do that to anyone else.

Do your subs ever give you any “feedback”?
Three of my subs have told me that I’m too empathetic to be sadistic. So I was like, shut up and bend over, bitch.

If you have to advise anyone who wants to start exploring as a dom, what would it be?
Be a sub first so that you learn about empathy. You’ll know exactly what you’re going to put the other person through.

Do you think it’s difficult to have this lifestyle in India?
Yeah, because it becomes, for many guys especially, an easy way to hurt women. I’ve heard some horror stories. It’s hard to get people to have that sort of comfort level and potentiality for trust.

Do you ever find it strange to be a dom in a country where patriarchy has essentially not allowed women much control and freedom anyway?
It’s fascinating and sad at the same time, but also an interesting indicator of our society and our social mores. I’ve realised that most women have already experienced some kind of control at home. It’s easier for Indian women, rather than those in the West, to get into the mindset of submitting to a male figure.

Follow Pallavi Pundir on Twitter.

Click on photo to see more and larger photo’s on Vice.com


Random Men Pay My Bills Is An Eye-Opening Podcast About Financial Domination

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, November 09, 2019 00:05:55

Source: Refinery29.com

UK – Jade is a financial dominatrix. New to the term? It basically means that she demands money from ‘slaves’, devoted worshippers who don’t want anything in return for their cash. Though it’s straightforward enough on the surface to explain, there are complexities and surprising difficulties that come with being paid by strangers to do very little, which are unpacked in Radio 1 and 1Xtra’s’s six-part podcast, Random Men Pay My Bills.

Host Riyadh Khalaf is given access to Goddess Jade’s world. She lives alone in London and since getting into the findom (financial domination) business, she’s made more than £250,000 in the last six years. Probably one of the most surprising things for listeners who may never have heard of findom before, is that all it takes is asking. With little more than a tweet requesting money to pay for a champagne lunch at a fancy Mayfair restaurant, Jade can have the money in her account in a matter of hours.

Jade tells Riyadh that she started out as a cam girl at university, which helped to pay for her degree in behavioural neuroscience. She originally wanted to do clinical psychology professionally but soon found her way in the findom sphere. Now earning approximately £60,000 a year, it’s easy to see why she hasn’t looked back.

Of course, this way of life comes with a price. The podcast is acutely conscious not to glamorise a lifestyle that can actually be pretty dangerous. There’s the fact that Jade’s family doesn’t know what she does for a living because she is worried about the concerns they’d have about her lifestyle. Her sister is the only one who knows about the financial domination set-up but there remains a difficult tension between the two of them whenever the subject of her work is broached. Then there’s the practically risky side of things, having to give so much of herself online, being so reliant on both social media and strangers to survive and, as you’ll discover in episode three, sometimes having to meet these strangers in person for a physical cash exchange.

Jade and Riyadh touch on the topic of whether financial domination aligns itself with sex work, which Jade disagrees with, although findom is often understood to be part of the BDSM family. Reliant on the fact that her subjects get pleasure from satisfying Jade (albeit financially), it’s clear that the lines are a little blurred and wider understanding is lacking. Jade thinks she’s happy with her lifestyle but as the episodes unfold listeners gain an insight into the less pleasant circumstances that led her to it and have shaped her perspective on operating in such a way. With few friends and unable to share a big part of her life with her family, the upsetting downsides to Jade’s experience of findom are as evident as the monetary upside. As Random Men Pay My Bills uncovers, there’s always so much more nuance – good and bad – to a lifestyle like this which, on the surface, seems little more than easy money from people willing to offer it.

Random Men Pay My Bills is available on BBC Sounds

Click on photo to see a larger one on Refinery29.com