Heat things up in the bedroom with these tips.
Source: Menshealth.com.
WORLD – For anyone looking to heat up their sex life, wax play is here for you. And no, we don’t mean waxing hair off your body. , it’s a form of temperature play or sensation play originating from the BDSM community, according to sexologist Shamyra Howard, LCSW, a member of the Men’s Health Advisory Board. Temperature play could mean melting ice cubes on your body, freezing sex toys, and of course, dripping wax.
It’s a common misconception you need to be a professional or part of the BDSM community to try wax play, Howard says. Newsflash: you don’t! In fact, you can perform wax play with yourself or with a partner, all in the comfort of your own home. And it doesn’t require many materials to get started.
But before you start dripping wax all over yourself, know the techniques and the tools you need to play safely. Go in with a plan in place so you don’t get burned…if you know what we mean.
Get your wax ready.
Don’t just pick up any scented candle you have lying around. That nice-smelling one you got as a gift years ago? It’s not what you want dripping all over your skin. Those candles burn at high heat and could cause burns. Howard says you need specific candles for wax play, which burn at a lower heat and are made for close contact with your body.
If you’re just starting out, Howard says body massage candles are great for beginners. You light the candle, wait for 15-30 minutes, blow it out, let it cool, and then you’re good to start dripping.
If you want to level up to a hotter temperature, go for a soy-based candle. Paraffin candles also provide an extra sting. “Those are hotter than massage candles, so you want to be careful with them,” Howard says.
And if you’re looking for an alternative to massage candles, Howard says there are other wax items to burn, some of which you may already have in your home. Crayons and birthday candles are good to use, since they have low-burning temperatures.
Test out the temperature.
Before you start dripping wax all over yourself or a partner, you need to make sure it’s the right temperature. Light the wick, then let the wax drip onto your forearm from six inches above. (If you’re trying it on a partner, the same idea applies.)
“Allow yourself to feel what that sensation feels like; if it’s not comfortable, keep raising your arm [holding the candle] up higher until it feels comfortable for you,” Howard says. The greater the distance between the candle and your body, the less of an intense sensation; the wax won’t be as hot by the time it reaches your skin. The less distance, the more intense the sensation.
Avoid dripping the wax on sensitive areas.
As you explore the sensation of the wax, keep it away from your face, hair and genitals. It’s difficult to get wax out of hair (or hairy regions of the body), and it can burn sensitive areas. Legs and arms are easy to reach places where you can apply wax on yourself or a partner. Places like the stomach and thighs can be more sensitive, so proceed with caution.
Always, always communicate.
An important note: if you’re performing wax play with a partner, or anything involving sex, you have to communicate. A simple system Howard suggests is traffic lights. Saying “green” means go ahead, “yellow” means pause and check in, and “red” means stop immediately. Don’t assume your partner is okay, even if you’ve done wax play before. “Always have a safe word system when engaging in wax play,” Howard says.
Here are a few ideas on how to use the wax during sex.
Once your wax is hot and melty and the temperature feels good, it’s time for the main event! There are tons of ways to use wax during sex, including:
- Using a massage candle to give your partner an erotic massage. (Start by rubbing their back; then, if they’re into it, you can work your way down below the waist.)
- Dripping it on different erogenous zones (as long as they’re no the sensitive or hairy spots we mentioned earlier).
- Using the wax to make shapes or patterns on the body.
- Dripping the wax on yourself during masturbation to mix up your usual routine.
- Incorporating it into your blindfold or bondage play. While one partner is blindfolded or restrained (or both!), the other can drip hot wax onto their skin.
- Using it as a form of BDSM punishment.
Wind down with aftercare.
And remember, we’re dealing with hot wax here, people. Make sure you have a towel and a cup of water on-hand to clean off the wax. Then, whether it’s yourself or your partner, relax post-wax session with a cup of tea, cuddling, or another calming action. (If you didn’t already swap massages with the hot wax, now could be a good time, Howard says.)
As a final word of wax play advice, Howard says not to let what you see online determine what you do in the bedroom, since it may be unsafe or entirely fictional—like people placing wax candles in or around their genitals.
“Social media and the internet gives us ideas and we run with it,” Howard says. “But please, don’t do that!”
