Source: Bedrock.nl
NETHERLANDS – Sarah* (31) had been curious for years about what sex parties were like. That curiosity lingered until she turned 30. Then she decided she wanted to explore her interest in BDSM and went to a BDSM party on her own.
With trembling knees to a BDSM party
The night of the first party, I was so nervous. I stood in front of the mirror wondering if I should even do this. There I was, standing there in my lingerie among strangers at a BDSM party. What if I felt awkward? What if I regretted it?
At the same time, I felt excited at the thought of entering a space where everyone was open -minded and into BDSM. With leather, leotards, toys, dark rooms, and everything else. Nothing would be outlandish, and sexual fantasies could be explored openly. Without judgment. That had been just a dream for me all this time. I mustered up all my courage and jumped on my bike.
I had at least one clear agreement with myself: I don’t have to do anything. If I’m just comfortable looking around and dancing, that’s okay too. I kept repeating that sentence in my head the entire bike ride to the party.
Dancing in hot atmospheres at a BDSM party
Once inside, the first thing I noticed was the casual atmosphere. It actually felt like a regular club, combined with an intimate bar vibe, and not necessarily a BDSM party. There was a DJ spinning upbeat tunes, and the dance floor was packed. Not too crowded, but just right.
Only when I looked more closely did I notice that the partygoers were dressed a little less casually. Some wore latex leotards and other lingerie, and others wore dresses. So, it didn’t feel like a “party” as I’d ever imagined it. Yet, it didn’t feel strange. Perhaps precisely because everyone was so openly bare-faced on the dance floor.
Although I still felt a bit like an outsider, thanks in part to the kind hostess at the door, I also felt completely welcome. No one looked at me strangely or asked why I was there. I remember thinking: Okay, I’m here. And that’s enough.
Watching is also participating
It wasn’t long before I saw several people disappear from the dance floor onto the balcony. At the side of the room, I saw people lying on top of each other in a large bed. I couldn’t take my eyes off them. At first, I was mainly watching what was happening on the bed. People playing with each other, others talking, and then suddenly walking away. I could hardly believe I was actually there.
A certain Timmy tapped me on the shoulder and started dancing with me. The cheerful, curly-haired man in his late 30s started kissing and caressing my neck. I’d just knocked back a cocktail, so I could let go a little more easily. It wasn’t long before he led me by the hand up the stairs to the balcony. There was a bed with three people on it, and a comfortable chair in the corner. He sat me down on the chair, and I decided to completely surrender to what was about to happen.
Even though I’d promised myself that just watching would be fine, I loved being so captivated by him. to be seduced and led. The idea that he was deciding what would happen turned me on enormously .”
Cycling home with red ears
During that first, exciting evening, I felt utterly feminine and sensual . And the best part was that I didn’t have to be ashamed of anything. Everyone here was themselves and didn’t judge each other. I felt accepted and loved.
After my adventure with Timmy, I decided I’d had enough of my first night. I sneaked off to the coat check, picked up my thick winter coat, and cycled home without anyone noticing, my ears red. I was quite proud of myself for doing this on my own.
Even though I still had to process all the first impressions, I knew immediately that this definitely wasn’t the last sex party I’d ever attend. I’m very curious about the world of sensuality, eroticism, and sex parties, but I’m taking it one step at a time.
*Due to sensitive topics and privacy concerns, Sarah asked not to be identified by her last name. Her full name is known to the editors.
