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BDSM Sex Game kills Italian ex-director

Source: Corriere.it.

ITALY – A former director of an Italian company appeared to hold a strange fascination after he’d been tied with chains, before being left for hours in his awkward and uncomfortable position. His obsession ultimately cost him his life.

Riccardo Sansebastiano (61) was found in an apartment in the Italian town of Alessandria. Half-naked, he sat on a chair, with chains around his neck, tied to a pole and handcuffed with his hands behind his back. Around him were things that are used for SM practices, can be read in Corriere della Sera .

Specially apartment for sex games

The 57-year-old mistress of the man left him behind in the attic of the apartment. All the windows were closed; it was hot. The house was used for sexual encounters between the former director of the company Atc and the wife, who also worked there. She is now suspected of manslaughter.

According to the woman she met Sansebastiano at a luncheroom. Eventually, he asked her to tie him up and leave. It was like a script from an erotic game that both certainly performed twice a week. He had to wait until the woman came to free him. Their affair held now for nearly thirty years.

Heart attack by heat or suffocation

But the last time it went wrong. The woman was slightly later than agreed. Not unusual, she said. Once we arrived at the apartment she found her lover in critical condition. They tried to resuscitate him and called 112. Rescuers later claimed that Sansebastiano died afther a heart attack caused by the heat or because of the chains, which closed his airways.

The woman explained that it was an obsession with her lover to do this. However, the prosecutor thinks she should have known better and could leave so him. According to the woman’s lawyer, his client is very shocked. They did not expect their game could lead to death.

See larger photo: www.corriere.it.

Hull dominatrix Mistress Dita to sell designer booty to pay for funeral of brave Lisa Gould

Source:: Hulldailymail.co.uk.

UK – HULL – AS PART of her job, Hull dominatrix Julie Preston gets showered with designer gifts.

But she has decided to auction off items given to her by customers to help Hull mum Lisa Gould pay for her funeral.

The Mail revealed last week how Lisa is facing the heartbreaking task of planning and paying for her own funeral after being given just months to live.

The 34-year-old has been told by doctors there is nothing they can do to save her from the cervical cancer she has been battling since June 2014.

But now, Julie, also known as Mistress Dita, has vowed to pay for the funeral.

She says the online auction being held on her Facebook page on Sunday will ensure Lisa has the funeral she hopes for – and may even mean there will be some funds left over for Lisa to create memories with her family.

Julie said: “I do it quite often. When I see a story that tugs on my heart strings, I put all this flash stuff up for auction.”

She says she does not want Lisa to have the added worry of paying for her funeral.

“I said, ‘Look, I am going to pay for the funeral’,” she said. “I said if I don’t raise enough, I will pay for it myself. I don’t want her to worry. It broke my heart.

“We do come together, the folk of Hull. I am hoping we can get a lot and she can have a funeral of her choice.”

The online auction will take place for 24 hours from 6pm on Sunday and will include items such as Gucci shoes, Prada shoes, an Agent Provocateur “frock” and other items, including some Julie has had donated.

Lisa says she is overwhelmed by Julie’s kindness and says she has been inundated with kind fundraising offers since her story appeared in the Mail.

She said she feels relieved she no longer has to worry about her funeral costs and thanked Julie.

“It’s absolutely lovely,” she said. “It’s a massive relief.

“All the money we have now we can save for days out r and have to put every penny away.

“I just can’t thank her enough. I was that shocked, I started crying.”

Lisa is also holding a fun day to raise funds on Saturday, August 13, at The Three Crowns pub in Anlaby Road, west Hull. It will take place from noon and is free to enter.

For more details about the auction, search Julie Preston on Facebook.

Kerry Murray and about 20 friends are holding a boxathon on Sunday, July 31, from 12.30pm to 6.30pm at St Paul’s Boxing Club, Hull city centre, to raise further funds.

• To help Lisa see her fundraising page.

See more and larger photo’s: www.hulldailymail.co.uk.

The Vibrator of the Future Won’t Vibrate

Source: Motherboard.vice.com.

USA – In some ways, the rise of the vibrator is almost an accident of fate. A device designed for doctors tired of providing ”manual relief” to (read: jerking off) ladies supposedly suffering from hysteria, vibrators didn’t become popular because they were scientifically determined to be the best possible way to bring a woman to orgasm. They took off because they were available, they worked, and that was all anyone needed.

Companies are breaking away from the traditional vibratory format and exploring other forms of sexual stimulation

Even as masturbatory products began to move out of the shadows, becoming products explicitly designed for sex (rather than, say, “back massage”), manufacturers have stuck with vibration as the primary mode of stimulation because, well, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Based on conversations with sex toy manufacturers, it’s become clear to me that sex toys aren’t a profitable enough enterprise for extensive R&D to actually make sense, so most companies prefer to make subtle improvements to the existing format rather than come up with something entirely new.

But as the market becomes increasingly crowded, the old “just like that toy you like, but slightly different!” pitch is a much harder sell. And as a result, more and more companies are breaking away from the traditional vibratory format and exploring other forms of sexual stimulation. It remains to be seen whether any of these products end up supplanting the vibrator. Old habits die hard, especially when those habits happen to be masturbatory, but here’s an overview of some of the different ways you might be getting yourself off in the coming years:

Pressure-Based Toys: Back in 2008, a European company known as Je Joue released the SaSi, a vibrator so different that Babeland founder Claire Cavanah called it “the most innovative vibrator” she’d seen in Babeland’s 15 years of business. What made the SaSi so different? In addition to vibration, the toy had a small nub on the underside that could move back and forth (or side to side or up and down or in circles), mimicking the sensation created by, say, a finger or tongue gently stroking the clit.

Sadly, the SaSi was a bit before its time and was burdened by an interface that was way too complicated for most users. After just a few years on the market, Je Joue stop selling the item, as did most retailers (though this company still offers it if you’re curious to check it out). But its innovation lives on in the LELO Ora, a simplified version of the same concept. With any luck it’ll find its way into other offerings (especially since supporting LELO’s gotten a lot less appealing ever since they brought Charlie Sheen on board as a condom spokesperson).

Suction-Based Toys: Suction-based toys have been around for awhile, often labeled as “clit pumps” or “pussy pumps” and marketed towards a fetish crowd looking to enlarge and increase sensitivity in the clit and vulva. But it’s only been recently that the mechanism has made its way to more mainstream products, with products like the Womanizer and Fiera offering clitoral suction instead of (or in addition to) the classic vibration.

Given that sucking on someone’s bits has long been accepted as a hot oral sex move, it’s actually somewhat surprising that suction-based toys have taken so long to find favor with a mainstream audience. But hopefully the girly packaging of the Fiera and Womanizer (which, it should be noted, advertises that it has “Swarovski elements”) will help turn a favorite of the fetish crowd into a universally embraced form of sexual stimulation.

Thrusting Toys: Can a sex toy ever truly replicate the feeling of getting fucked? If you’re talking about the deep, emotional connection of being intimately bonded with another person, then absolutely not. But if you’re talking about the physical sensation of a hard object thrusting in and out of your orifices… then probably?

Over the years, a couple of different companies have attempted to recreate the sensation of fucking; most notably, high-powered fucking machines like the Sybian. But since most of us don’t have the budget (or the storage space) for a Sybian-like device, it’s been hard to imagine a fucking machine ever moving into the mainstream. But Fun Factory has come up with more budget-minded options that rely on back and forth motion rather than standard vibration.

The Fun Factory Stronic line uses magnets to move its toys back and forth (and back and forth). Though it’s not quite the same as a Sybian, the products are still a boon to anyone who’s more about the old in and out than a more generalized rumble or buzz.

Electrostim Toys: Electrostimulation may seem far, far too fetishy to ever make it into the mainstream, but at least two companies—including Jimmyjane, best known for making luxury sex toys a going concern—have products that combine electric shock with vibrational awe. Jimmyjane’s offering is the Hello Touch X, a finger vibrator with added bite. There’s also the Electric Eric, a non-threatening looking vibrator with an e-stim mode.

The stigma of electrocution might be too much to overcome for many mainstream users, but these products are certainly offering a different sort of sensation than the standard vibrator.

Flipper-Based Toys: And then there are toys like the Sqweel, which offers users a rotating wheel of “tongues” that “lick” the clitoris (or vulva, or whatever) in quick succession. I’ve never been impressed by this sort of mechanism (the flippers tend to slow down, or even stop, when pressed into the body, meaning if you’re super turned on you might end up turning off your toy), but it’s definitely different. Hey, maybe a budding sex toy entrepreneur will figure out a way to take the concept and improve upon it.

Granted, as promising as many of these products are, it’ll take a lot to upend the sheer market dominance of the vibrator. But on the plus side, if vibration’s never quite been your bag, at least you’ve got a more options to check out in the sex toy space.

See more and larger photo’s/animations: Motherboard.vice.com.

Pakistani Clerics Declare Transgender Marriages Legal Under Islamic Law

“It is permissible for a transgender person with male indications on his body to marry a transgender person with female indications on her body.”

Source: Huffingtonpost.com.

PAKISTAN – A group of clerics in Pakistan has declared marriage between transgender individuals permissible in Islam, saying they have a right to be buried in Muslim ceremonies, according to a copy of a religious edict Reuters obtained on Monday.

Transgender people also have full rights under Islamic inheritance law, the Tanzeem Ittehad-i-Ummat Pakistan, a little-known clerical body in the eastern city of Lahore, said in its fatwa.

“It is permissible for a transgender person with male indications on his body to marry a transgender person with female indications on her body,” said the document, signed by 50 clerics and issued on Sunday.

“Also, normal men and women can also marry such transgender people as have clear indications on their body.”

But it did not say what these indications were.

In 2012, Pakistan’s Supreme Court declared equal rights for transgender citizens, including the right to inherit property and assets, preceded a year earlier by the right to vote.

Pakistani marriage law remains murkier, however. It denies homosexual couples permission to marry, with male homosexuals having been charged under anti-sodomy laws in the past.

Sunday’s fatwa declared marriage with any individual possessing both male and female “indications” to be against Islamic principles.

Shunned by mainstream society, transgender individuals in the country of 190 million are often forced into begging, prostitution or dancing to earn a living.

Late last month, Alisha, a 23-year-old transgender woman, died after being shot and then refused treatment at the largest public sector hospital in Peshawar, in northwest Pakistan.

Her death sparked debate over the rights of transgender people, with an inquiry concluding that senior doctors at the hospital were responsible for “criminal negligence”, and recommending that criminal charges be filed.

Transgender people are, however, also sometimes venerated in the South Asian tradition of according spiritual powers to eunuchs and others who fall outside traditional gender divisions.

Although the Lahore clerics’ fatwa is not legally binding, it also recommended that people consider harassment of transgender people a crime under Islam.

“Making noises at transgender people, making fun of them, teasing them, or thinking of them as inferior is against sharia law, because such an act amounts to objecting to one of Allah’s creations, which is not correct,” it added.

See larger photo: www.huffingtonpost.com.

Hooker accuses wealthy exec of sexual assault after S&M romp

Source: NYpost.com.

USA – A wealthy S&M-loving tech executive savagely beat, strangled and sexually assaulted a hooker inside the trendy W hotel in Times Square, authorities say.

Married millionaire dad-of-two Sanjay Tripathy met the prostitute on the Web site SeekingArrangement, which pairs sugar daddies with young women, according to court records.

Tripathy, 46, took the 36-year-old woman back to his room at the luxury hotel for a “ Fifty Shades of Grey” hookup on June 15, the documents state.

But when she tried to leave, the kinky tryst quickly turned into a nightmare, prosecutors said.

“He locked her in the hotel room … and forced her to perform oral sex,” Assistant District Attorney Ryan Lipes charged at Tripathy’s Manhattan arraignment. “He threatened to kill her. He choked her, causing her to have difficulty breathing.”

She suffered two black eyes, a bloody nose, a split lip and a chipped tooth, Lipes said.

Jeffrey Greco, Tripathy’s lawyer at the time, insisted that the sexual encounter was consensual before it turned into a shakedown by the woman.

“When the issue of money came up midway through their consensual sex session, [Tripathy] declined to pay’’ what she was demanding — an “exorbitant” fee, Greco said.

“At that point she told him, ‘I can ruin you, I will go to the police,’ ” the lawyer said.

Her injuries were simply a part of the kinky act that involved “bondage and sadomasochism,” Greco said.

Judge Felician Mennin ordered the corporate IT executive, who is based in Morrisville, NC, held without bail.

A few days later, at a June 27 bail hearing in Manhattan Supreme Court, prosecutor Kristen Baraiola argued for $5 million bond for Tripathy, who was indicted on the charges.

“He dragged her back toward the bed and started punching her over and over again,” Baraiola said as Tripathy’s wife and brother watched from the gallery. The hotel room was “covered in blood,” she said.

The prosecutor told Justice Michael Obus that Tripathy has a net worth of $10 million and an annual income of $1 million.

“He made statements [to police] that he was loaded and that he will make this go away,” Baraiola said.

Tripathy’s new lawyer, Alex Spiro, said his client had openly discussed his BDSM “proclivities” on the dating site and anyone on the platform would be aware of his interest.

The strangers met at a bar beforehand, had drinks and discussed the acts they’d perform, Spiro said., calling the assignation a “consensual sadomasochistic event.”

The woman, who is from Florida, was captured on surveillance video passing hotel staff as she exits the property and “does not alert any of them” to the alleged attack, Spiro said.

After reviewing photos of the woman’s injuries, the judge said, “The pictures indicate something entirely unconsensual, to say the least.”

Obus released Tripathy on $750,000 bond. Celebrity bondsman Ira Judelson organized the bond and Tripathy returned to North Carolina, court papers show.

See larger photo: NYpost.com.

Meditative bondage is like one long, kinky hug

Source: Mashable.com.

USA – Meditation and bondage might seem like strange bedfellows, but they actually pair together like milk and cookies.

When you hear the word “bondage,” you probably think of pain, humiliation and degradation. You might also think of Dakota Johnson bent over a table getting paddled in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Well, there are more shades of bondage than that. One practice called meditative bondage has nothing to do with sex, violence, misogyny, or whips and chains. It’s about finding Zen, and it’s part of a growing trend I’m dubbing “New Age kink,” which combines spirituality with sexuality.

“It’s about providing containment for another human being, and it’s a conduit for connection,” explains Orpheus Black, a sex educator who teaches private and group workshops in meditative bondage, as well as other aspects of BDSM. “It’s a way to feel cared for and tended to, and a method to clear your mind and let go. It’s similar to the reason parents have swaddled their babies for centuries — the containment makes them feel safe, secure and taken care of. This is the same idea.”

In a meditative bondage session I witnessed, a clothed Orpheus Black stood behind his half-naked wife and “slave” (their words) of 20 years, Indigo Black, and slowly bound the upper part of her body. He tied her arms behind her back with a traditional Japanese bondage rope made of soft cotton. “I only bind as tight as a good hug; this is like an extended hug over time. It’s loving, not painful,” Black explains. He also sets a meditation timer, and participants typically start at just a few minutes before building up to the maximum 15 minutes. (Any longer and you might get a little numb in your extremities.)

“I only bind as tight as a good hug.”

The way he tied and untied Indigo was loving. He caressed her slowly and gently with the soft ropes, letting the rope drape down her body. Once bound, he whispered positive affirmations in her ear with warm breath on her neck, and stroked her arms with a sensual, feather-like touch. “I’d tell her she’s beautiful and remind her she’s safe and cared for. While we don’t engage in sex during this, this is great foreplay for sex and helps open your sexual energy,” he says.

Dr. Chris Donaghue, a doctor of clinical sexology and human sexuality, and a licensed clinical therapist and sex therapist, understands the power of meditation and bondage. “Bondage has the capacity to allow the participant to let go safely into the moment and, as required for mediation, reach and experience what is outside and in between mind and body. These are necessary and healing states to encounter, which is why other practices such as yoga and sitting meditation are so popular.”

In regular meditation, it’s often hard to force oneself to sit still and be present. The use of ropes and the support of another person in meditative bondage helps urge oneself into sitting quiet for a bit. “The safety of being held and bound allows a separation from the body and the material world (physical environment, body, ground),” says Donaghue. “The focus is allowed to drift elsewhere. This opens up the participant to experiencing groundlessness, timelessness and selflessness, all of which are necessary for meditation and transcendence.”

“The safety of being held and bound allows a separation from the body and the material world.”

Donaghue explains that oxytocin, colloquially known as the “love hormone,” is released when you hug someone. Since gentle bondage can mimic a hug, there’s potential for oxytocin release here.

Other members of New Age kink include orgasmic yoga, orgasmic meditation and Chakrubs, a sex toy company that makes pleasure wands out of crystals, marketed for their supposed natural healing powers and chakra balancing.

In an age when sex toys are getting increasingly more high-tech, with Wi-Fi, app-controlled vibrators and devices that do your kegels for you, Vanessa Cuccia, founder of Chakrubs, saw a need for the opposite. The pink/white seven-inch Rose Quartz ($114) “instrument of pleasure” is the most popular. “It’s associated with the heart chakra,” says Cuccia. “It’s a very calming stone with loving and comforting energy.”

“Kama sutra and tantra have been around for centuries, but practices like meditative bondage, orgasmic meditation, orgasmic yoga and even our company are gaining in popularity because there are more people who are looking for spirituality in their sexuality. There are a people I refer to as ‘sexual yogis,’ who are into yoga, tantra and combining spirituality with their sexuality,” says Cuccia. She just learned of a new sect called “ecosexuals,” some of whom find nature erotic in itself.

…the idea of going slow, savoring the moment and being in your body

Psalm Isadora, who teaches tantra and created OYoga, a form of orgasmic yoga, has long seen the benefits of combining meditation, yoga and sexuality. “These are practices that can really help release your sensual, and sexual, energy. What I teach in my OYoga classes you can then apply to the bedroom, such as the idea of going slow, savoring the moment and being in your body,” says Isadora.

While this sounds nothing like the yoga most of us know, the origins of this concept might surprise you. Isadora’s version stems from the older Shakti Yoga. Shakti refers to feminine energy and the Hindu goddess. Of course, part of feminine energy is sensuality and sexuality, so OYoga includes various goddess poses, slow and sensual movements, and ways to feel sexier in your own skin, such as using a featherlike touch with your fingertips on your body as you do yoga moves.

“OYoga was created from the nine years I spent studying the authentic roots of Shakti Tantra in the jungles of South India with a teacher who gave me initiation to share the teachings that are 5,000 years old and to help women heal and empower their Shakti sexual energy,” adds Isadora.

Whether it’s through meditative bondage, orgasmic yoga or masturbating with crystal wands, the goal is to get in touch with your sexuality on a deeper level that, as Donaghue explains, harkens back to the idea that sex can be sacred, meditative and healing. “Our culture likes to see sex as profane and not part of spirituality. Orgasm is one of the easiest ways for us to experience a momentary loss of everything (time, body, other) and to transcend all,” adds Donaghue.

See more and larger photo’s: Mashable.com.

Feminist Porn Director Gets Big Spanking Win for Fetish Sites

Source: Broadly.vice.com.

UK – In a landmark freedom of speech case, authorities ruled that Pandora Blake’s fetish site did not violate the rules on porn. As Dreams of Spanking wins its appeal, Blake explains why she was the victim of sexist censorship.

Kinky devotees of Pandora Blake’s Dreams of Spanking website were drawn there for its varied, ethically produced fetish content. You could share fantasies on discussion forums, listen to audio stories, and keep up-to-date with the fetish community through Blake’s frequently updated blog. A $28 monthly subscription would give you access to queer-friendly, kink-and-spanking-focused videos such as Slight Damage to the Rear End.

“We had a really varied demographic, but shot for the female erotic gaze. Bisexual people; queer guys who loved the fact I had male-male content, and women who loved the male-male content too! A lot of switchers [BDSM enthusiasts who ‘switch’ between dominant and submissive], which you don’t see represented in porn that much,” Blake tells me over the phone. Then, in August 2015, now-defunct UK internet regulator Authority for Television on Deman (ATVOD) came after Blake.

Acting under widely condemned legislation, Dreams of Spanking was taken down. The all-male ATVOD regulatory panel had deemed that videos such as Ariel’s Sponsored Caning, a 27 minute caning film featuring adult performer Ariel Andersson, caused “lasting harm” and that the site violated UK porn laws. Andersson tweeted a photo of her healed ass to let regulators know she was just fine, actually, but to no avail. Dreams of Spanking was no more.

After a lengthy appeal process, the British regulatory authorities overturned their decision on a technicality this week. In a statement, media regulator Ofcom told Broadly they “found that the site was not a video on demand service and therefore it was not subject to regulation.” In effect, ATVOD didn’t have jurisdiction over Blake’s site, and she was free to resume normal spanking services. But the laws which ATVOD were acting under continue to apply in the UK to this day.

The last major element is anticipatory touch. “Where would you like me to touch you?” he asked his bound wife. “My arms,” she replied. “This isn’t about sexual touch. It’s about sensual touch. I pause about 10 seconds before I touch her because that pause heightens the touch and gets her to be more present in her body,” he notes. Through this process, you could see Indigo deeply relax and even sway a little as she stood there in a meditative state. When the meditation timer went off, he untied her. (Participants can ask to be untied at any time during the practice, though.)

In 2014 the Audiovisual Media Services Regulations (AVMS) 2014 changed the landscape governing online porn produced in the UK. Many thought the BDSM scene would never recover. Acts no longer deemed acceptable included spanking, caning, female ejaculation, face sitting (a suffocation hazard, although blow jobs were fine) and whipping. Members of the fetish community, Blake included, organized face-sitting demonstrations outside Parliament to protest what they saw as anti-feminist and kink-shaming regulations. Blake regularly appeared in the national media arguing that the AVMS regulations were sexist and regressive. Then the regulators shut Dreams of Spanking down.

Although pleased with Monday’s judgement, Blake feels that she was a victim of government-backed censorship. “There are loads of other spanking sites in the UK run by old white men, and when the AVMS regulations came in I was the only site to be investigated. I’d been on TV saying I thought the regulations were sexist, and it was around the time I was doing a lot of press that I first got the tap on the shoulder from ATVOD. By sticking my head above the parapet, I’d made myself a target.”

Myles Jackman is a lawyer specializing in obscenity and censorship cases, and was Blake’s legal representative throughout the appeal process. “This was utterly illiberal behaviour, really,” he tells Broadly. “It’s not the behaviour of a developed nation that people who criticize government offices for censorship—like Pandora did—end up being censored themselves.”

While Ofcom declined to comment on whether they agreed ATVOD unfairly targeted Blake, Jackman welcomes today’s ruling. “I hope this heralds a new direction in how adult content is viewed by the UK regulatory authorities. But it doesn’t change the fact that they unfairly picked on female directors… This was a patriarchal regulator trying to control female sexuality.”

For now, Blake lives to spank another day. But the damage—financial and emotional—caused by ATVOD’s decision continues. “It’s been a year of hell, really. Trying to keep my business going while knowing any day it would be taken down. Financially, it was catastrophic.

“But at an emotional level, as a kinky woman who’s fantasized about being spanked since I was tiny, for me to be criminalized felt like a personal attack. I was being told by this patriarchal state agency that as a kinky woman I was unacceptable, that my sexuality was disgusting and dangerous to children, even. It really made me question whether the UK actually is a progressive country.”

See larger photo’s: Broadly.vice.com.

Dominatrix claims she earns $4,000 A DAY insulting and blackmailing men online – while her stay-at-home husband does all the housework and cooking

*Married woman ditched her job to earn $4k per day by insulting men

*Mistress Harley, 28, from San Francisco, takes control of men’s finances

*Uses data to blackmail her clients and pays herself from their bank account

Source: Dailymail.co.uk.

USA – SAN FRANCISCO – A married woman has ditched her day job to earn up to $4,000 (£3k) a day to insult and blackmail men online – but her stay-at-home husband claims he’s proud of her career swap.

Mistress Harley, 28, from San Francisco, left her full-time office job as a technical project manager and now claims she earns hundreds of dollars every day from the comfort of her living room.

Charging at least $100 (£70) a session, Mistress Harley installs a desktop sharing software on her client’s computer enabling her to take control of their social media and online banking, gaining all of their personal information and blocking what they look at.

The self-labelled tech domme uses the data she gathers to blackmail her clients and even uses their bank information to pay herself however much she likes, whenever she likes.

Mistress Harley has been happily married to Mr Harley, 30, for two years and the stay at home husband supports his wife’s career swap.

Her clients, who are mostly high-earning businessmen, have funded the couple’s luxury holidays and have even paid for her breast implants that cost $10,000 (£7,200).

With 20 regular clients, Mistress Harley rakes in $10 (£7) a minute by Skyping her slaves, and her 350 online video clips – which users pay up to $540 (£400) to download – mean she gets paid even if she’s not technically working.

Her clients – mostly high-earning businessmen – make generous donations that have funded her breast enhancement, holidays and hair treatments. She’s also been gifted dresses, exercise equipment, games consoles and cash.

By hacking into client’s computers she can block sex-related websites they look at, so they are then forced to pay her for access to them.

She also claims she is often sent items that clients have stolen from their wives, and brags about flushing the engagement rings that men send to her down the toilet.

Clients can pay up to $10.99 (£8.15) to watch videos from seven to 10 minutes long with titles such as ‘You Fail at Life’ and ‘Nice Guys Finish Last’.

They can also pay $10 (£7.43) per minute for custom videos and to webcam with Mistress Harley.

It is also possible to gift Mistress Harley large amounts or small amounts of money, from $10 (£7.43) to $200 (£148.53), or an even larger custom sum, through her website.

Mistress Harley said: ‘I was fed up of working long hours, I wanted something more exciting and that’s when I looked into ways to make money online.

‘I was used to bossing around 20 men each day while project managing so when I came across ways to financially dominate men and realised how much they paid, I quickly kick started my new career.

‘I use software that allows me to access the client’s bank, social media and email accounts, I take over their lives.

‘My husband supported my decision and knew we could earn a fortune, he no longer works and I make enough money to support the both of us.

‘Whilst I earn around $4,000 a day, my husband does most of the cooking, cleaning, and takes care of things I don’t want to do like talking to our accountants and lawyers.

‘I spend most of the money I make on my beauty routine, I have regular hair and nail appointments that cost a total of $1,500 (£1,100) each time and I have a weakness for expensive designer shoes, like Christian Louboutin’s, that I buy regularly.

‘It’s amazing to know that I don’t have to work hard to earn money, I am never stressed and I have everything that I have always wanted.

‘I don’t even take my clothes off for men, I just take their money, and it’s very empowering.’

After five years of working as a project manager, Mistress Harley decided to leave her career in tech to pursue her new found interest.

She noticed there was a gap in the market and used her technical knowledge, gained from her master’s degree in library science and information technology, to start her own business.

She added: ‘Whilst studying for my degree I tried being a webcam dominatrix to earn extra money but I found it wasn’t that profitable.

‘Over the years I looked at different ways I could take people’s money and noticed blackmail was becoming a popular fetish among men.

‘I found clients that wanted to be dominated in a more permanent way and, through the software I install, I can control what sites they visit, add parental locks, access their bank details, the list is endless.

‘To protect my identity Mistress Harley is now a registered business trademark which allows me to use the name as legal pseudonym here in the US.

‘I have about 20 regular clients but I have hundreds of different men that visit my site and pay to download my video clips, so I get paid even if I am not technically working.

‘Around 25 per cent of my customers are simply curious, it is often a one off for them and they mostly want to see what it’s like to be financially dominated.

‘But people always come back and once they have had a taste they become addicted, men have even sent me their wives designer clothes, they will do anything I say!’

Mistress Harley is happily married and claims her husband is more than happy with her career choice.

The couple admit to spending a huge amount of money eating out regularly in San Francisco’s finest restaurants, venturing on lavish holidays and enjoying designer goods – all at the expense of her clients.

Mistress Harley said: ‘My husband is extremely supportive of what I do, we lead a very comfortable lifestyle and have all the things we ever wanted.

‘He is comfortable with it as there is no sex involved and the risk is really minimal as I rarely leave the house.

‘My mother is also one of the few people that know what I do and she is extremely proud, she told me that getting money out of men for doing nothing is one of the best things I could do.

‘My clients actively seek me out and give me full permission to access their bank accounts, so I don’t feel bad that I am taking their money, if I don’t then someone else will.’

Mr Harley said: ‘I am so proud of my wife and the career she has chosen, being a house husband is the best job in the world.

‘She makes so much money that it would be a waste of my time to work, I’d rather spend time with my wife at home and make sure she is looked after.’

See more and larger photo’s: www.dailymail.co.uk.

LINKS:

Website: Mistressharley.com.

Twitter: Twitter.com/Mistress_Harley.

Facebook: Facebook.com/Techdomme.

Tumblr.com: Mistressharley.tumblr.com.

NYC’S BDSM SCENE IS THRIVING (IF YOU KNOW WHERE TO LOOK)

Source: Papermag.com.

USA – NEW YORK – “Shit or get off my face” was one of many daily requests I heard in 2014 while working as a pro dominatrix for over a year at a midtown Manhattan dungeon. Commuting to work, I’d pass organic dry cleaners, chain bakeries and bodegas that once peddled loosies and single condoms but were now pushing $7 juices. It would have seemed, to the untrained eye, that gentrification had caused the city to substitute its seediness for a more sanitized version of itself. A Dos Caminos now sits where the once-famous S&M club The Vault thrived; the Times Square staple Show World Center, which featured live nude girls and XXX movies, became a now-shuttered haunted house called Times Scare and currently hosts comedy shows; even The Ansonia Hotel, once home to the Continental Baths (where Bette Midler got her start) as well as the infamous swingers’ club Plato’s Retreat, has been converted to an extravagant condo building. The spectral death of the nightlife sex scene appears imminent, and yet, if you squint real good, you can still see the undercurrents of folks who are vying to keep NYC kinky.

My first introduction to BDSM (Bondage & Discipline / Domination & Submission / Sadism & Masochism) was through an old college friend named Stacy, who knew a Goldman Sachs banker who was into verbal domination and black girls. I was no stranger to sex work: During undergrad, I took a few topless maid service gigs to pay the bills. Now out of school and in my first few months in New York City, I found myself in a tight financial spot after running out of savings. After a few SOS calls, Stacy and I were on a crosstown bus, headed for one of those Chelsea motels where you pay by the hour. One hour and $400 later, I had relieved all of the gin and tonics I’d drank earlier directly into the banker’s mouth.

Soon after, I found myself replying to a Craigslist ad from a dungeon that was looking for women interested in professional domination. The manager gave me an intersection near Bryant Park to reach before giving her a call for the exact address. The dungeon was in a nondescript building wedged next to a souvenir shop; other tenants included a nursing school and a men’s tailor, the latter of which we all suspected doubled as a gay prostitution ring, as men rarely came in or out with clothes. After about a 20-minute interview where I chatted about the investment banker and chose a domme name, Zara, I was hired. Two days later, I was paddling, sissy training, fisting, engaging in mummification and role-playing with clients, among other activities.

Through one of my colleagues, a domme named Mistress Lex, I found myself at one of the grittier sex parties on the Lower East Side not too long ago. The building was, like many in the sex industry, unassuming. It was a simple brick building painted over white with only a single deadbolted door with a bell. After paying $20 each in exchange for laminated membership cards that would allow us to be re-admitted whenever we felt so inclined, we made our way to the bar, passing by several middle-aged men. Some were dressed as women in shiny, synthetic wigs or babies complete with adult diapers and bibs, while others weren’t dressed at all. The party was BYOB, so we grabbed a couple mixers in red cups from the bar and headed up the musty carpeted steps to a large room where half-clothed people were being flogged. I watched as couples slid away into the “bedrooms” adjacent to the larger room. We continued up a final set of stairs that led to a larger, dimmer room with beds lined against one wall. At least a dozen people were gathered around in a circle jerk. Creeping closer, I saw a transwoman happily getting anally pounded by one lucky guy. Opting out of the pop shot, we dipped out back onto the unsuspecting streets. My colleagues had brought me deeper into the world of sexual deviancy, but I was left wondering how other folks found their way to secret sex parties in the city.

It turns out you’re only a click away from a fetish ball. Parties like NY Fetish Marathon and SMack! have websites that boast a safe haven for a melting pot of perverts looking to indulge in their deepest desires of sensory pleasure and pain. You can also buy tickets online to the Black Party, a two-day affair that provides kinky fun in Brooklyn for the gay scene (think: endless leather, phallic submarines and aerial sex stunts).

The Internet just might be the jolt that’s keeping the pulse of the city from flat-lining. Paul-Simon Djite curated a community of contributing kinksters online when he founded the New York-based, bi-annual fetish publication BRKFST. Djite pairs beautifully shot fetish photos with non-fiction work. “I wanted to get first-person stories from kinksters about the first time they discovered the kink awakened within them,” he says. “When I go on the forums and I’m looking for people to connect with, I’m always looking at location. More often than anywhere else, they are in New York.”

It seems as if New York, in all her glory, has taken the clandestine nature of the sex scene to the web and, in doing so, brought a historically isolated community together. So maybe, in fact, she hasn’t lost her edge. In order to get off in the city, your best bet is to log on.

See more and larger photo’s: www.papermag.com.

What It’s Like to Be a Dominatrix

Source: Glamour.com.

USA – When she was a journalist, Olivia Troy decided to write a story on men who liked being sexually dominated. She accepted an apprenticeship with a professional dominatrix—and became hooked on the rush of power and uncensored sexuality. Now, after having spent several years as a dominatrix herself, Troy is a BDSM consultant, helping TV shows and Broadway productions tell accurate stories about kink. She’s also the host of the new Acast + podcast “Bedtime Stories,” where she reads erotica to listeners.

Troy views her career as part of a larger effort to empower women sexually, which she also believes empowers them in the rest of their lives. We spoke with her about what it’s like to be a dominatrix and what happens when women gain control over their sexuality.

What first appealed to you about being a dominatrix?

I first thought, I’ll just do this so I can learn some things and then I’ll quit, because I was like, “I don’t need to be a sex worker. I have a master’s degree.” But I was just amazed by all of these smart, interesting, vivid women. I found myself suddenly in the company of women who really did not have to apologize for anything, women who really were themselves, their unedited selves. Among my fellow apprentices, one was a Fulbright scholar who spoke five languages and played classical piano. Another was a math prodigy.

It was an incredible opportunity to engage with men who were finally in a space where they could be their whole selves, to reveal a part of themselves that they weren’t able to share or felt uncomfortable sharing with their family or being public about. There was a safe space where we could celebrate and honor that, and it felt like an incredible privilege. It just satisfied me on so many levels. It was intellectually and emotionally challenging. It allowed me to be sexual and flirtatious. It also allowed me in a healing way to hold people accountable for promises they made. It exists in a space where actions and consequences are genuine. It has been and is some of the most challenging work I’ve ever done.

What do you mean by “hold people accountable”?

For example, if you live with somebody and you tell them to wash the dishes and they don’t do it or they won’t take out the trash, then, in a relationship, you have to sort of go into this battle. But in a BDSM context, it’s always, well, “I gave you an assignment to do and you didn’t do it, so I’m going to give you six cane strokes”—whatever the consequence may be. But it’s not as fraught. It’s not as if somebody disappoints you. You can say, “Hey, you did not fulfill your obligation, so you’re going to be punished.”

How exactly did the dynamic with your clients work?

It depends on the submissive. Not all submissives are task-oriented. Not all people who see dominatrixes are even submissive. Some of them are fetishists. Some of them are seeking a particular experience. Sometimes, they want to be in bondage, which can be a very meditative experience, to be in very restrictive bondage. But when there is a service element to their kink or their expression of submission or to the context in which they serve a dominatrix, then there are assignments. Sometimes, the assignments are performative. Sometimes, they are life-enhancing, like assignments to lose a certain amount of weight or to modify one’s diet. It’s really like working as a life coach to help some men be their best selves, and one of the ways you can be your best self is by expressing and articulating all of yourself, and here’s a space where you can be all the man you are without judgment, and that’s a really wonderful thing. It’s an opportunity that a lot of us as adults don’t have.

You hear about men who feel like they have to be dominant all the time, and they see a dominatrix to get relief from that. Has that been your experience?

I think women and men, culturally, as a society, are always getting the message that we must be strong, that we must take charge, that we must lean in, that we must be independent. For some, that’s true, I suppose. But you get those signals as well. Do you see a dominatrix? There’s absolutely the cliche of “I’m so dominant in my professional life” and everybody wants to talk about that stupid story. Sometimes, they want to have an opportunity where they don’t have to make decisions, and who doesn’t want that? Suddenly, you can go into a space where there’s somebody who tells you what to do. The liberty, the freedom of just being able to do what you’re told, and it is not your responsibility how it all turns out—don’t you want that?

What other reasons lead people to get into BDSM?

I actually call BDSM a roller-coaster ride for adults because you get the opportunity to experience the thrill of fear, but in a way you know you ultimately are going to be safe. There’s the excitement and that anticipation as you stare at this ride, then you go through this series of sensations and exhilaration and intense movements, and at the end of it, you’re like, “Oh, my gosh, that was amazing. I can’t believe I did that.” And the same is true for BDSM. There’s the excitement and anticipation when you choose a dominatrix. There’s the time leading up to the appointment, when you are wondering what she’s going to be like, and then the roller-coaster ride is going, and no matter how long it takes, it’s like you’re so vivid and alive in that moment, and it’s exciting. It’s addictive. It’s gratifying.

What have you learned from all of your different work related to sexuality?

We are in this incredible moment where women who do sex work and women who want to feel empowered in their lives and our cultural conversation about kink and desire and expressions of sexuality are in this real synergy, and one of the things that I think is wonderful abut the work that I’m doing as a consultant and as the host of “Bedtime Stories,” having had the perspective of being a dominatrix, is really capturing that moment. We’re in this space where women are actually thinking about what brings them pleasure, what they want sexually, and in ways that are not so typical—”Oh, well, I just want a man to love me and provide for me”—but instead it’s like, “I am in charge of my own orgasms. Here are the things that turn me on.”

See larger photo: www.glamour.com.