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Top 10 sex fetishes popular among couples right now – from bondage to role play

BDSM Media News Posted on Fri, October 22, 2021 23:54:53

Source: Dailystar.co.uk.

UK – The most popular fetishes have been revealed using Google Trends data, so which one are you into the most? MatressNextDay conducted the study and compiled a list of the top kinks

See video and more photo’s on: Dailystar.co.uk.

During the start of lockdown, couples spent more time exploring in the bedroom.

Whether it’s being adventurous alone or with a partner, people had time to find themselves between the sheets.

Now the most popular fetishes have been revealed using Google Trends data as MatressNextDay looked into the stats.

It found masochism has become one of the favourites in recent years with a 300% search increase compared to 2020.

Meanwhile in second place with a 250% surge in search in the last year is sploshing.

The company also worked with sex educator Kate Sloan who explained what exactly each fetish is.

Here are the top 10 fetishes, starting from the bottom…

10. Role Play

This came in at 10th place with a 5% search increase over the past year.

Role play is to act out or perform the part of a person or character/or pretending to be in a different situation.

Kate said: “Try meeting up with your partner at a bar or restaurant and pretending you’re two strangers on a first date.

“This is a good roleplay scenario for beginners because you can essentially play the character of yourself, just in a different situation.”

9. Sexual Humiliation

With a search increase of 26% over the past year, sexual humiliation came in at 9th place.

Kate said: “Erotic humiliation is the act of embarrassing someone in order to excite them sexually.

“It’s important to negotiate beforehand so you know which topics are and are not okay to use as humiliation fodder.

“For example, many people don’t like to have their appearance insulted, but find it arousing to be lightly teased about their arousal.”

8. Bondage

In 8th place came bondage, with a 31% search increase over the past year.

Kate said: “Bondage is the act of physically restraining someone for the purposes of erotic excitement.

“This can be done with rope and cuffs.

“Always leave at least two fingers’ worth of space between the restraints and the person’s skin so you don’t cut off their circulation.”

7. Cuckolding

Cuckolding is the 7th most trending fetish among Brits over the last 12 months with a search increase of 61%.

The sexpert explained: “To cuckold someone is to have sex with someone else in front of a partner.

“While many find this to be a hot fantasy, you don’t have to actually incorporate another person to experiment with cuckolding.

“Instead, you can talk dirty to each other about the third party that one of you could have sex with.”

6. Dominance

With a 62% search increase over the past year, dominance is the 6th most trending sex fetish.

Kate revealed: “Dominance is the act of controlling a session or ‘being the boss’ while your partner plays a more submissive role.

“It can be a good, healthy outlet for impulses that would be viewed as too controlling ‘in real life’.”

5. Objectification

In 5th place came objectification, with a 70% search increase over the past year.

Kates describes this as “the practice of treating someone like an object, whether that be an object of sexual desire or a literal object”.

She added: “Good aftercare is crucial for objectification play – spend some time with your partner(s) after a session just hanging out.

“This can help you transition more smoothly back into ‘real life’ after such a psychologically intense experience.”

4. Gagging

Gagging has received a search increase of over 70% as it came in 4th place.

According to Kate “to gag someone is to push an object/body part into their mouth”.

She explained: “Have a safe-signal, since the person won’t be able to talk.

“They could, tap their partner’s arm twice to signal that they want the gagging to stop.”

3. Impact Play

With a search increase of just over 140%, impact play came in at 3rd place.

Kate added: “Impact play can include spanking, paddling, flogging and caning.

“You can also use a stoplight safeword system, where green means ‘keep going’, yellow means ‘please pause and check in with me’.

“And red means ‘stop immediately’.”

2. Sploshing

In 2nd place with a 250% search increase is sploshing.

Sploshing is getting wet and messy during sex usually by incorporating food items.

Kate explained: “The most important thing with sploshing is to do it in a location that’s easy to clean, like in a bathtub.

“Don’t get any sugary substances in or near the vagina if possible, because of the risk of a yeast infection; if you do, rinse the area.”

1. Masochism

The fetish with the highest search trend over the past year is masochism with a 300% search increase compared to the year before.

According to Kate, this is a sexual interest in receiving pain, whether it’s through biting, scratching or spanking.



Wealthy Dominatrix’s Killer Uses ‘50 Shades of Grey’ Defense

BDSM Media News Posted on Fri, October 22, 2021 23:36:13

Source: Thedailybeast.com.

ITALY/ROME – A court in Switzerland will deliberate the fate of a debt-ridden bouncer who says he accidentally killed his rich British girlfriend during a sex game gone wrong.

See larger photo on: Thedailybeast.com.

In a brightly lit courtroom in the conservative Swiss city of Lugano, a jury is learning the intricacies of kinky sex and erotic asphyxiation to decide whether the death of a wealthy British heiress was motivated by pleasure or pain.

Anna Reed, the 22-year-old victim of this sordid tale, was found strangled to death on the marble floor of a bathroom in the swanky four-star Hotel La Palma au Lac on the shores of Lake Maggiore on the border between Italy and Switzerland in April 2019. Her erstwhile boyfriend, 29-year-old former bouncer Marc Schatzle—whose tattoos run the gamut from FTW (Fuck the World) to ACAB (All Cops Are Bastards), readily admits he killed her—but insists he didn’t mean to.

On Thursday, the German was decked out in an army coat with ornamental shoulder pads, according to a source in the courtroom. Schatzle described the details of their last night together in a legal strategy that has been dubbed a “50 Shades of Grey” defense, named after the popular book and film that brought the ins and outs of sadomasochistic sex to a mainstream audience.

Schatzle insists Reed was into kinky sexual encounters, and was a regular patron of Berlin’s storied KitKat Club, where public sex with strangers is encouraged. The fetish club nearly closed in 2019 but managed to stay open by charging for livestreams of the pornographic partiers. Reed, whose social media moniker was “Berlin Baby” before it was taken down, had posted various shots of herself inside the club. She also posted dozens of shots of herself with Schatzle in what made them appear to be a loving couple.

The two met in Thailand three months before Reed’s death, when the young socialite was on a stopover as part of a round-the-world trip— a 21st birthday gift from her father Clive Reed, a wealthy British horse breeder who is estimated to be worth upwards of $35 million. Reed’s mother died after falling down a staircase when her daughter was just 17. The young woman was so traumatized she dropped out of high school, according to her friends. Reed’s father and surviving sister Millie have refrained from commenting on the details surrounding Anna’s untimely death, though a friend of the dead woman’s sister, journalist Olivia Utley, says Reed is not at all as the press has painted her. “I happened to know Miss Reed a little—her sister, Millie, was my friend and housemate at university, and Anna came to visit several times in our first year,” she wrote in an op-ed on the The Article, last year “ She was chatty, funny and super bright… I remember being jealous of her drive and ambition.”

Schatzle, whose shaved head highlights the word “Warrior” tattooed above his left eye, was nearly $75,000 in debt when they met thanks to an alleged cocaine habit so well known he called himself Marc Dirtywhite—a term used for raw or unprocessed cocaine—on his social media channels, the court heard.

Those inside the courtroom say they watched the tattoo “Fuck The World” engraved on his knuckles as he demonstrated how he had first put a towel around Reed’s neck, and then added pressure at her request as they had sex on the floor—before he accidentally strangled her. “We had sex on the bathroom floor. I put a towel around Anna’s neck,” he told the court, according to transcripts seen by The Daily Beast. “Then I pressed my hands towards it with her hands on my wrists, as we had done a hundred times before. Suddenly she stopped moving. Her tongue was sticking out. I tried to revive her.”

Schatzle then says he ran down to the reception desk, where witnesses at the hotel say he repeatedly punched his head with his fists, screaming to them that his “girlfriend had turned blue.” The hotel says he came down at 6:30 a.m. By the time the ambulance arrived a few minutes later, Reed was already dead.

Five months after her death, cleaners at the hotel found Reed’s Platinum credit card hidden in the fluorescent ceiling tile of the hotel elevator. Schatzle’s fingerprints were on it, but he told the court that he had hidden it there “as a joke” in front of Reed after he said she insisted on paying for everything. It is unclear when he put it there, but the last charge on the hotel room was a $145 bottle of champagne the two shared before retiring to their room for the final time. “We took the elevator to the fifth floor. We teased each other. It was about her credit card and about paying everything,” Schatzle told the court. “So I held it up just for fun. She slipped into the light…” When asked why he disclosed this only after the card was found five months after his arrest he told the court, “You wouldn’t have believed me anyway.”

The jury heard from a number of witnesses during the trial, which is expected to end with a verdict next week. A former boyfriend told the court that it seemed odd that Reed would play the submissive role as she was often a dominatrix in their past encounters. Reached by The Daily Beast, the boyfriend confirmed that he did not envision Reed in that role. “She liked to be in charge sexually,” he said. “I cannot imagine she would ever be the one being choked.”

Another boyfriend said he could not see Reed ever being involved in that kind of sex, though she did like to party. “Anna was a happy and ­charming girl. She was wealthy but she wasn’t arrogant with her money,” he told the court, according to transcripts. “We would go to sex parties but there was nothing ever extreme or violent. To be fair, she went to the clubs and parties more for the ­dancing, as she loved dancing.”

During the last court hearing for the defense, the suspect’s lawyer Ysar Ravi gently guided him to describe the couple’s passionate relationship, painting a picture of habitual eroticism that simply went wrong. “How often did you have sex that night on April 9, 2019?” he asked, according to court transcripts. “Was there oral sex? Was the sex consensual? How exactly did the choke game come about?” Schatzle vaguely answered each question and again repeated that it wasn’t the first time they had used erotic asphyxiation. Ravi underscored that such a death was not rare. Hundreds of people die each year during this dangerous eroticism, including Kill Bill actor David Carradine and INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence. Ravi insists that Reed is among those who took things just a little too far.

In his final statement before final arguments next week, Ravi pleaded with the court to overlook his client’s appearance and judge the case on the facts. “Certainly my client is not a saint but he’s not capable of murdering someone,” he said. “Anna’s death was unexpected and sudden. It was undoubtedly negligence but it was a sexual practice they had both shared before.”

Lead prosecutor Petra Canonica Alexakis is asking for 19 years for the charge of murder. She will give closing arguments next week before the jury deliberates, and insists Schatzle knew very well that Reed’s bank account could give him a life he couldn’t obtain alone. She says Reed doubled her expenditures since meeting Schatzle, spending around $10,000 a month on expensive hotels, meals and travel. She told the court Reed had told him she wanted to break up, which is why he killed her. “Marc Schatzle liked the good life, the holidays and all the trappings, but he alone couldn’t afford it,” Alexakis told the court. “After he met Anna, his life had an upgrade. She was ideal for him—beautiful, charming and, crucially, rich. He killed her for a financial motive because the night she died they had argued and she had threatened to leave him. He invented the charade of a sex game to save his own skin.”

The court also heard that neighbors to the couple’s suite heard a loud argument the night of the murder, some three hours before Schatzle went down to the reception hall. They also reported hearing furniture being overturned and glass being broken. The court also heard evidence that could compromise the prosecution’s case including how the initial forensic police botched Reed’s autopsy which resulted in an inconclusive time of death, and a potential loophole for the suspect.

The trial will conclude next week with a verdict expected on Thursday.



Margaret Qualley And Christopher Abbott Will Be Seen In ‘Sanctuary’

BDSM Media News Posted on Fri, October 22, 2021 23:24:13

Film about a Dominatrix and her rich client

Source: Theubj.com.

USA – American actors Margaret Qualley and Christopher Abbott are good to go to star in an impending thriller Sanctuary. The film’s shoot has been apparently enveloped with New York. The film is being helmed by Zachary Wigon, known for his critically acclaimed film The Heart Machine. According to a report by Variety, Margaret Qualley and Christopher Abbott as of late wrapped up their shoot for the forthcoming film Sanctuary. The film’s plot rotates around a dominatrix and her rich client named Hal. The film is set in a solitary lodging throughout the span of one evening. Hal, who has acquired his dad’s position and riches, attempts to cut off his friendship with the dominatrix. As his endeavor doesn’t go as arranged, it is trailed by a catastrophe.

The film is written by Homecoming co-creator Micah Bloomberg. This Zachary Wigon executive is being bankrolled by David Lancaster and Stephanie Wilcox of Rumble Films with Hype Films’ Ilya Stewart and Mosaic Films’ Pavel Burian co-delivering alongside Charades. Acts is likewise taking care of the International sales rights on the film. The US sales and financing of the film have been masterminded by UTA Independent Film Group. Acts’ Yohann Comte, Carole Baraton and Pierre Mazars, Hype FIlm’s Elizaveta Chalenko, Mosaic Films’ Maxim Dashkin, Bloomberg, and Margaret Qualley fill in as the executive producers to the film.

The film’s shoot wrapped up on August 23, 2021. Margaret Qualley took to her Instagram handle to report the news. The entertainer shared a photograph of Christopher Abbott holding his diary. The note in the diary started with, “August 23”. It went on, “Dear diary, I completed (a) film. Can’t accept what going to occur straightaway.”. I the inscription, Qualley stated, “That is a wrap on SANCTUARY!”.

In the interim, on the work front, Margaret Qualley is completely outfitted with her forthcoming Netflix show, Maid. The series will debut on the OTT goliath on October 1. She will likewise before long start shooting for Claire Denis’ Stars At Noon. Then again, Christopher Abbott was most recently seen in On The Count Of Three. He is set to start the shoot for the dramatization Poor Things inverse Emma Stone.



The sorrowful dominatrix: cartoonists Steve Bell and Martin Rowson on drawing Angela Merkel

BDSM Media News Posted on Fri, October 22, 2021 23:10:47

With her generous features and a dolorous countenance, the German chancellor has been an artist’s dream

Source: Theguardian.com.

‘She turned out to be interesting rather than easy’: Steve Bell

EU – Sixteen years is a very long time in politics, and since 2005 we’ve had Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, David Cameron (and Nick Clegg), Theresa May and Boris Johnson – while the Germans have just had Angela Merkel. It usually takes time to get the hang of drawing a politician, particularly one from a foreign country, and Merkel was no exception. I’d only just about got a handle on the SPD’s Gerhard Schröder when he was replaced by the CDU’s first female leader, and my first attempts were a little shaky and somewhat speculative. Was she a Thatcherite? Would she be pro-Bush, like Blair, or continue Schröder’s opposition to the war in Iraq? Would she be easy to draw?

See more and larger photo’s on: Theguardian.com.

She turned out to be interesting rather than easy, with large, generous features, hooded, quite kindly eyes with splendid bags under them, a prominent, rounded chin, and jowls to die for. One has to be very careful while drawing her that she does not come out looking like Kenneth Clarke. I must confess now that I’ve always found her hugely attractive – unlike Clarke – and her features always put me in mind of a particular old friend. Conservative she may have been, but definitely not a Thatcher. She seemed far too rational and pro-Europe for that.

The first cartoon in which I actually managed to get a grip on her likeness was in 2006, where, unusually, she appeared as a dog. In a reworking of Briton Rivière’s Victorian masterpiece Sympathy, the role of the little girl on the stairs is taken by George W Bush. Merkel, ever the pragmatist, was far less critical of Bush’s foreign policy disasters than her predecessor, though by no means as slavish as Blair, who is jealous, having had his nose up Bush’s arse for the preceding six years.

Europe is a constant theme when it comes to Merkel, particularly what she would see as her spirited and principled defence of the nascent single European currency. Others, however, may have interpreted her as Europa, screwing the Greeks rather than the bull, and this is where the figure of the dominatrix of austerity, carrying a whole display team of gimps, comes into play.

Helmut Kohl, her gigantic predecessor as CDU chancellor and former mentor, often fell into the same role, in a leather one-piece bathing suit, fishnet tights and cute pickelhaube helmet – with, in his case, even more disastrous consequences for the inhabitants of the former Yugoslavia, rather than the Greeks.

For me, Merkel’s finest hour, after her extremely guarded response to Cameron’s feeble attempts to renegotiate the terms of Britain’s membership of the European Union, came in response to the terrible refugee crisis of 2015 to 2016. Instead of closing the borders, she offered to receive one million new migrants. Though laudable, as a conservative politician this caused her severe electoral problems and a challenge from the far right at home.

She narrowly held on to power in 2017 in coalition with the SPD, but announced that she would not be standing for a fifth term, which brings us neatly up to date with a reprise of Sympathy in 2019, where a much older Merkel takes on the role of the girl on the stairs forced to bear the attentions of the monstrous Arse Dog Johnson, getting Brexit done all over the carpet. Emmanuel Macron looks on in disgust.

  • Steve Bell is an award-winning cartoonist. His cartoon website is Belltoons.co.uk

‘I tried to capture a hint of her soul’: Martin Rowson

Among the repertory company of political actors cartoonists feature in their output, we can’t help developing favourites, and often feel a sense of personal loss when they inevitably shuffle off the world stage. This is wholly divorced from either sympathising with or viscerally loathing the politics – or even, quite often, the individual. It’s just the buzz we get from drawing them.

When John Major resoundingly lost the 1997 election, Steve Bell told me he had lost his reason for living because of the Zen-like karmic thrill he got from doing the holes in Major’s airtex underpants. Likewise, George Osborne’s departure from frontline politics still has me grieving: I loved drawing his head because it clearly has no bones in it. And I’m feeling a similar pang of regret at the imminent retirement of Angela Merkel, who I’ve been drawing regularly since 2008.

None of us, of course, can do much about the way we look, though public figures in positions of power often try – either through botox or Photoshop. But while Silvio Berlusconi’s eyebrows got pulled ever closer to his dyed hairline, it’s significant that the woman he described as “an unfuckable lard-arse” didn’t appear to be that bothered about the face life had dealt her, clearly part of her political shtick as an ordinary and homely Ossi who, nonetheless, quietly succeeded in dominating Europe for over a decade.

Her face, in fact, is rather lovely, with more than a hint of the young Iris Murdoch about it. To a cartoonist’s eye, however, she’s obviously the MGM cartoon dog Droopy’s long-lost twin sister. So her defining feature for me has always been the dolorous countenance of her face in repose. This, in turn, has informed the role she’s played in the satirical narrative I found myself creating around her. Small, hunched and apparently unobtrusive; often passively observing some other idiocy nearby; when active, appearing to act more in sorrow than anger.

Even when she was helping immiserate the lives of millions of southern Europeans, particularly in Greece, in the Euro crises from 2011-15, I drew her as morose rather than gleefully malevolent. Whether that reveals the inner truth doesn’t really matter: cartoons are journalism and therefore tend to be the first response to the immediate appearance of things.

But I reckon this portrayal does capture a hint of what, for want of a better term, we may call Merkel’s soul. As she endured in office, I caught a definite whiff of long-suffering discomfort coming off her as she stood uneasily next to cavalcades of clowns and crooks at international summits, or in any meeting with any representative of the British government over the past 11 years. She tried her not-very-good best to disguise the general air of toe-curling embarrassment choking the atmosphere in the room, all of which was etched so eloquently on her expressionless face. Thus, albeit unconsciously, Angela Merkel smiled insincerely and squirmed inside for us all, and for that alone we should salute her.

  • Martin Rowson is a cartoonist and author


BDSM Sex club Manchester with underground dungeon shut down after neighbours raise ‘serious concern’

BDSM Media News Posted on Fri, October 22, 2021 22:57:21

The club, named The Kink Society, in Dent, Greater Manchester, described itself as a private members club specialising in “alternate, BDSM, fetish, meet ups and socials”

Source: Mirror.co.uk.

UK – MANCHESTER – A sex club just yards from an MP’s office has been shut down after neighbours complained.

See more and larger photo’s on: Mirror.co.uk.

The club, named The Kink Society, in Dent, Greater Manchester, described itself as a private members club specialising in “alternate, BDSM, fetish, meet ups and socials”, Manchester Evening News reports.

It is open from 8am ‘to late’ seven days a week and has a ‘fully-equipped dungeon’.

It also advertised as a “safe space haven for members of the LGBT+ community to congregate and meet without the dangers of victimisation, bullying or prejudice”.

The club used to be found at Advocates House on Market Street in the middle of the town centre – just a few hundred yards from MP Andrew Gwynne’s constituency office and the town hall.

But on Wednesday on Officers from Greater Manchester Police visited together with enforcement officers from Tameside council and Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service after repeated complaints from residents.

It has now been shut down on the grounds that there was no working fire detection in place, and no ‘separation between commercial and residential premises’.

Pictures on The Kink Society website show a red lit room painted black with a four poster bed, restraints and a wall of bondage accessories.

Events are priced at between £10 and £40, according to the Yell listing.

It has earned a string of five star reviews on the site this month, with one poster describing them as “pioneers in their field”.

Paul Fearnhead, head of protection at Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service, said: “Working closely with the council and police, we have acted on fire safety concerns, resulting in robust action being taken to keep people safe.

“GMFRS takes all breaches of fire safety extremely seriously and will take enforcement action where necessary to protect our communities.”

Chief Inspector Lee Broadstock, of GMP’s Tameside division, said: “This premises was causing serious concern within the neighbourhood area and, thanks to the multi-agency approach taken, this premises is now closed and enforcement action is being progressed.

“This shows that we take robust action and use our full partnership powers to keep our neighbourhoods safe.”

The council is also investigating other alleged unlicensed activity and change of use of the premises.



How to Safely Try BDSM For the First Time

BDSM Media News Posted on Fri, October 22, 2021 22:47:46

Experts explain what is BDSM, how to do it, and how to talk to your partner.

Source: Hellogiggles.com.

USA – Chances are you’ve heard of, seen, or even sang about BDSM at one point of your life—Alexa, play “S&M” by Rihanna. Jokes aside, if chains and whips excite you, too, then you’ve likely been interested in trying BDSM, which is pretty common. One 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found out of the 1,516 adults that were surveyed, 65% of women and 53% of men fantasized about being sexually dominated, and 47% of women and 60% of men fantasized about dominating someone else. 

See larger photo on: Hellogiggles.com.

If you’re someone who lies in these percentages, then first, know that it’s completely normal, and second, before trying BDSM, it’s really important to know exactly what you’re getting into. Because the kinks involved in this sexual play can involve pain and intense sensations, you and your partner will want to be fully informed and safe. To help you do just that, we spoke with two sexologists to break down everything beginners need to know about BDSM.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an acronym that describes sexual practices including bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism. According to sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story, BDSM is all about allowing people to explore power dynamics within their relationship with consent. “BDSM is a broad term for a variety of sexual activities, such as role-play and restraint, where there is a consensual power exchange,” she says.

When performing BDSM, there are different roles that a person can take on. These roles are typically split into three major categories known as dominants, submissives, and switches, sexologist Marla Renee Stewart and sex expert for Lovers, a sexual wellness brand, tells HelloGiggles. “Dominant-types (also known as D-types) are usually the ones who are inflicting the pain, punishment, and reward, whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional,” she says. They prefer to have roles where they are tops, recreating scenarios where they’re called daddy, sir, dominant, dommes, or master. 

“Submissive-types have roles such as bottoms, little/little girl/boy/child, pets, slaves, submissives, and other tops of service roles which are on the receiving end,” explains Stewart, whereas switches are comfortable in either role.

Why would someone be interested in BDSM?

There can be many reasons why people like BDSM. “Some people want to dive deeper and participate in more bondage and domination acts as a means of exploring their perception of control,” says Alvarez-Story. “While others may use it as a way to introduce more novelty into their sex life, or build connection and trust within their relationship.” 

There’s also the psychological aspect of BDSM, explains Stewart. “People like BDSM and kink because giving or receiving pain and punishment tap the same hormone receptors that interpret pleasure,” she says. “There is a surge of dopamine, serotonin, and other happy hormones that make you feel good and give you a natural high when you engage in BDSM.” 

Research looking into BDSM shows that both dominants and submissives reported increases in relationship closeness and decreases in psychological stress from before to after their sexual play. Studies also show that both parties enter a pleasurable altered state of consciousness when engaging in BDSM. Bottoms entered an altered state called transient hypofrontality, which was associated with reductions in pain, feelings of floating, feelings of peacefulness, feelings of living in the moment, and time distortions. Tops, in contrast, entered a state of flow, which is associated with focused attention, a loss of self-consciousness, and optimal performance of a task. Ultimately, however, everyone’s reason for why they like BDSM and kink is unique to them.

How can you safely practice BDSM?

When it comes to BDSM, the name of the game is all about consent and open communication. “It is important to understand what you like and don’t like so BDSM can be a gratifying sexual experience,” says Alvarez-Story. To help you discover what you’d like to engage in, do your research. There are plenty of educational online resources and workshops that can help you know your boundaries in BDSM. For example, Bloomi, an online marketplace to learn and shop all things sexual wellness, has a “Yes, No, Maybe List” that shares 69 sex and intimacy acts for you to think through and discuss with your partner(s).

Stewart says you can also attend a munch, which is a casual lunch gathering to learn about BDSM and network with other kinksters. “You can attend kink workshops and conferences to help you get more education and exploration,” says Stewart.

Once you’ve done your research, it’s helpful to set some ground rules with your partner so that boundaries are established and respected. “For example, you can create a contract that lists the activities you’d like to explore, acts that are off-limits, and things that are a potential possibility,” says Alvarez-Story.

Establishing a safeword is also an important part of BDSM. A safeword is an agreed-upon word or phrase that anyone, especially a submissive, can say to immediately stop the activity or session. You can also experiment by adding toys into your sexual sessions, such as The Round Double-Paddle from LoversStores.com, which Stewart says has the perfect softness that allows you to experiment on your own body before hitting someone else.

And finally, Alvarez-Story says what you do after sex (also known as after play) is just as essential in BDSM. “Taking time to care for and connect emotionally and physically is especially important following BDSM activities,” she explains.

How can you talk to your partner about trying BDSM?

So you want to try BDSM but aren’t exactly sure how to bring it up to your partner? The best approach is to be open, honest, casual, and to have the conversation before you begin having sex. You can also introduce it to your partner by watching The Secretary or 50 Shades of Grey with them as a conversation starter to see how they feel about it and have a chance to talk about what you like about the films, says Stewart. “Introducing it this way takes the responsibility off of you just in case they feel some type of way about it,” she says.

Some other conversation starter questions that Alvarez-Story recommends asking are:

“Hey, what do you think about trying __ or __ together?”

“I love when we have sex and your dominant side comes out. How about next time we try a blindfold or cuffs?”

“I was reading about ___, and I think it could be really exciting to try this together on our next date night. What do you think?”

At the end of the day, as we previously mentioned, consent, setting clear guidelines, and doing your research are key. BDSM is unique to everyone, so it’s all about doing what feels good for you and your partner. “Remember BDSM is a judgment-free practice that provides a safe way to communicate about and act out your fantasies and desires,” says Alvarez-Story. “It doesn’t require you to engage in extreme sexual activities, even small acts can bring more play into your relationships and heighten sensation and satisfaction.” 



Playboy model inspired by Kim K says ‘Dominatrix-style’ is next big fashion trend

BDSM Media News Posted on Fri, October 22, 2021 22:34:33

Source: Dailystar.co.uk

WORLD – Cover model Iasmin Santos, from Brazil, believes that corsets, black leather and lingerie will be the biggest new street style craze as she donned thigh-high leather heels

See more and larger photo’s on: Dailystar.co.uk.

Playboy model has said that wearing Dominatrix-style clothing is the next big thing in street fashion after being inspired by Kim Kardashian’s NYC leather look.

Reality star Kim wore the head-to-toe outfit as she checked into the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in New York ahead of the Met Gala.

The extreme look covered even the Kardashian’s face in the shocking appearance which emulated the look of a Dom – someone in the BDSM world who dominates their partners and wears lots of leather, chains and sky high heels to intimidate.

But, while some of us might be questioning the style, Playmate Iasmin Santos was blown away by the look.

And, she’s planning on adding elements of “Dominatrix-style” into her wardrobe including thigh-skimming all leather boots.

Covergirl Iasmin, from Brazil, explained: “The new trend is to dare and test limits.

“Sensuality and pleasure must be taken to the street in the form of clothes now.

“Kim Kardashian is my biggest reference.”

And, for those who think dressing like a sex worker is a bit far, Iasmin insists that people on the street won’t be that taken aback.

She said: “People walk the streets in such vulgar clothes that I don’t think the dominatrix-style would attract as much attention.

“After all, I want to bet on a classic style of this look.”

In this version of the BDSM style, Iasmin proposes that fashionistas rock exposed black lace lingerie and black leather boots.

“This combination always works,” added the model.

And, Iasmin is already pushing the look on social media and recommending her fans get involved too.