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Rope Bondage Is About Far More Than Sex

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 17:52:41

Performers like Marceline V.Q. say they are reclaiming rope bondage for modern times.

Source: Thedailybeast.com

USA – As she skillfully tied her partner onto a steel suspension tripod, Marceline V.Q. let her inspiration lead her. Using natural hemp ropes to recreate a scene from Michelangelo’s well-known fresco painting, The Creation of Adam, Marceline pondered every reaction her partner made, as the woman hung in midair.

See more and larger photo’s on: Thedailybeast.com

Her partner’s arm stretched out to reach something powerful yet invisible. Smiling, with her eyes closed, she looked totally absorbed.

“Something I really adore is just the feeling of rope flowing through my hands,” Marceline said, gesturing to mimic the rope moving. “You get into a flow state.”

By day, Marceline, 26, is an engineering researcher and a physics Ph.D. By night, she is a rope bondage artist and educator. Her pseudonym, “Marceline V.Q.,” is adapted from the character “Marceline the Vampire Queen” in the cartoon series Adventure Time, as she wished to keep her academic life separate from her rope bondage gigs. She tries to constantly challenge the world of BDSM—bondage, domination, submission, and masochism—with aesthetic concepts and complex rope techniques.

“When I was starting out, the struggle for me was trying to show people who weren’t involved in this that rope bondage doesn’t have to always be about sex,” she said. Although for her, it is and it isn’t.

Before the pandemic hit, she was invited to perform and to teach a class called the “physics of ropes” all over the country. Combining her artistic and scientific skills, she uses geometry to inspire most of her rope bondage work.

“When creating rope bondage work, I’ll take the idea of translating a four-dimensional object into three dimensions,” she said. “I’m sort of turning off the analytical side of my brain and feeling more than thinking, in a lot of ways. That’s unusual for people doing very intense mental work.”

However, Marceline’s rope bondage experiences weren’t always artistic. Smiling shyly, she admitted the “epiphany” moment came when she was playing a game of “cops and robbers” with her friend when she was 10 years old. Tying her friend’s hands behind the back with a rope, Marceline had this exhilarating feeling of stepping back to appreciate her “artwork” and thinking she wanted to be part of it.

“I think people understand their sexuality a lot earlier than they realized,” she said.

Marceline began her rope bondage journey in 2014 when she found out about several BDSM subculture groups on FetLife, the social network for the BDSM and kink communities. There she discovered “kinkers,” who go beyond what are considered conventional sexual practices. They don’t “practice” rope bondage. They “play” it.

Rope bondage, or “shibari,” originated from the Japanese martial art of restraining captives and then transformed into erotic bondage in the late 19th century, according to the first English instruction book on Shibari. “Shibari is a Japanese form of sex play using rope restraint methods. It may or may not be sexual, but it is certainly centered around joy and delight and play,” said Midori, the acclaimed sexologist and author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage.“Even though most of the work I produced in rope doesn’t tend to be very sexual, I don’t want to completely separate myself from those origins, because that’s why we’re here today.”

The view of rope bondage has not been consistent over time. After studying in Japan for several months in 2017, Marceline says she noticed a slight shift in shibari communities. Some members started to consider rope bondage as art, which completely erased its “messy, dirty” history.

“Even though most of the work I produced in rope doesn’t tend to be very sexual, I don’t want to completely separate myself from those origins, because that’s why we’re here today,” Marceline said.

Midori also believes that learning rope bondage’s origin is essential. “Saying, ‘I am practicing this as art’ is pretentious,” said the sexologist, furiously. “It’s about elevating one’s own social prestige.”

Following the release of the erotic book Fifty Shades of Grey, kink subcultures gained mainstream momentum in 2011. Kink behaviors are common among adults in America, according to a 2017 study from Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion. More than 30 percent of those surveyed acknowledged they had engaged in spanking, more than 22 percent engaged in role-playing, and more than 20 percent engaged in rope bondage.

Fifty Shades of Grey changed the way people view kink and opened up the conversation about consent,” said Susan Wright, the spokesperson of the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom (NCSF), a nonprofit organization that advocates for the sexual freedom of all adults.

Although a number of films and books have thrust BDSM into the realm of popular culture, rope bondage is still taboo for a lot of people. Some feminist activists expressed strong opposition. “I do not believe meaningful sexual liberation is achieved through replicating the same dominance-subordination dynamics of institutionalized male dominance,” said Caitlin Roper, a feminist activist and a Ph.D. candidate researching female-shaped sex dolls. “With an understanding of feminism as a collective movement to liberate women as a whole from patriarchal oppression, I do not believe there is a feminist case for male violence and degradation of women, even if some women consent to it or say they like it.”

In the past few years, the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom saw a rising number of female dominant and queer people in kink subcultures. Marceline has mixed views toward the use of gender in the interpretation of BDSM. “Feminism is about giving women the agency to decide what’s best for themselves. I am one of those women who finds sexual liberation in kink subcultures, but there’s certainly an opportunity for really shitty people to get involved in the scene and use that for their own purposes,” she explained.

Reclaiming rope bondage’s versatility in the modern context, Marceline now believes that kink subcultures can be both sexual and visceral. She enjoys the interplay between the physical posing and the emotional components of it.

“You can think of rope like an intimate massage, or you can think of rope like a workout or therapy,” she said. “It’s like dancing.”



During a live webcam session, Dominatrix pursued a robber with a golden stiletto.

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 17:41:41

Source: EN.brinkwire.com

USA – During a live webcam session, Dominatrix chased a robber away with a golden stiletto.

See larger photo on: EN.brinkwire.com

When a robber broke into her house while she was webcamming a client, a dominatrix who sells her services for in-person and online sessions through OnlyFans was forced to chase him down.

When a robber broke into her house during a webcam session, a dominatrix was forced to chase him away with a golden stiletto, she revealed.

Kaz, who goes by the online handle Kaz B, has built a successful career as a dominatrix, where men pay her to perform various tricks and kinks both in person and online through her OnlyFans account.

During a recent appearance on the Shaun Attwood True Crime podcast, the dominatrix revealed that she frequently stores her work equipment in her mother’s garage, and that she has dealt with enraged wives who catch their husbands in the act.

Even more shocking, Kaz described a break-in at her home while she was conducting a webcam session with a client.

The professional mistress recalled being half-way through a webcam session with a paying’slave’ when the incident occurred.

“So I quickly put some clothes on and said, ‘I’m sure I’m imagining this, I’m sure there’s nobody down there, it’s just my imagination,” she recalled.

Kaz explained that she first assumed the rustling noises she could hear from the floor below came from one of her cats entering through the window, but that her perception quickly changed.

“Then I heard the cats bolt down the stairs in various directions, and I thought to myself, ‘yeah, something isn’t quite right here.’

“I just thought to myself, ‘I’m probably being paranoid, but I’ll grab something just in case.’

“I had these big gold platform heels with a heel on them, so I just picked them up and crept slowly to the top of the stairs, and there’s this guy there in a grey hoodie just staring back at me.”

Kaz said she raised her stiletto and charged, yelling, “Get out of my house!” The pair froze for a second before Kaz said she raised her stiletto and charged, yelling, “Get out of my house!”

“It was one of those situations where it could have gone either way,” Kaz continued. “Fortunately, he turned around and legged it.”

“He bolted from the house, and I figured, hey, I’ve come this far, I might as well keep going.”

“Don’t come back!” she yelled as he dashed around the corner.



GIRLGUIDE PROBE Girlguide leader who dressed as dominatrix offering to ‘punish’ people and posed with an assault rifle faces probe

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 15:18:47

Source: Thesun.co.uk

UK – A GIRLGUIDE leader who dressed as a dominatrix offering to “punish people” and posed with an assault rifle is facing an investigation.

See more larger photo’s on: Thesun.co.uk

Snaps uncovered on social media show Monica Sulley – who was reportedly made a lead guiding commissioner in July this year – dressed in a black bondage-style dress with high heels and gripping a whip.

The picture, taken in a corridor and posted to the 58-year-old’s Instagram page, has the caption: “Now behave yourselves or Mistress will have to punish you”.

Bus driver Ms Sulley oversees the Rainbow, Brownie, Guide and Ranger groups in Southwell, Nottinghamshire.

Another picture shows the Girlguide leader wielding what appears to be a fake assault rifle with a holstered handgun hanging from her waist while wearing an all-black outfit.

In a third photo shared on Twitter, Ms Sulley posed in a fairly low cut top with the caption: “Boobs, or did you want to see more?”. She was seen in a further picture clutching a sword.

Girlguiding bosses have now launched an investigation into Ms Sulley’s posts.

Angela Salt, the CEO of Girlguiding, last night shared a statement saying the charity is “aware of concerns raised”.

“The safety and wellbeing of our members is our absolute priority,” she said.

“We follow rigorous recruitment and vetting procedures, have clear policies, and a volunteer code of conduct which volunteers are expected to follow to keep our members safe.

“Girlguiding is aware of concerns raised.

“We are looking into this as a matter of urgency and will provide the necessary support and action in line with our compliance procedures.”

Ms Sulley has since deactivated her Instagram account and made her Twitter account private.



The former plus-sized dominatrix (Miranda Kane) explains why she kicked punters out in the middle of a game

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 15:08:42

Source: EN.brinkwire.com

UK -LONDON – The former plus-sized dominatrix explains why she ejected patrons in the middle of a game.

See larger photo on: EN.brinkwire.com

Miranda Kane, who worked as a sex worker for ten years, has opened up about her job, detailing everything from ejecting clients to the administrative side of her job and customer interactions.

The secrets of a former plus-sized dominatrix who sold sex in London have been revealed, including why she kicked out punters and the long hours of admin.

Miranda Kane, who worked as a sex worker from the ages of 22 to 32, once called a client a “w***e” and ended a session halfway through.

“I’m not there to be called those names,” she told MyLondon. “There’s nothing on my website about doing that.”

“That’s their brand or kink for some sex workers, and that’s fantastic.

But they just assumed they’d be able to get away with it with me.”

Miranda, who is now a comedian, writer, and podcaster, also revealed that paperwork took up a whopping 80% of her time.

“If you’re an independent sex worker like me, you need to make sure you have a decent website,” she said.

“Being a sex worker taught me so much about marketing; I know all about metatags, search engine optimization, and analytics; it was all part of my day.”

“I had to know: what keywords are people finding me under?” she continued. “Am I on the first page of Google if I google ‘plus-size London escort? If not, why not?”

Miranda saw the sex industry change dramatically during her time as a sex worker, with recessions, austerity, and skyrocketing tuition fees driving people to the industry.

“There were about 12 plus-size sex workers in London when I started, and we were all friends; we had the market cornered, and we even agreed to charge about the same.”

“However, if you google ‘BBW [big beautiful woman]London escort,’ you’ll come up with something like 33,000 results.”

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Although it’s common to assume that gamblers are disrespectful of the women they’re paying for, Miranda claims this isn’t always the case.

She claims that in her personal experience, people who pay a lot of money for an hour of her time are “quite like women.”

Miranda would call her client before the meeting for some small talk and to go over the details.

“They’d always say, ‘Just…like… the usual,’” she explained, “and they never wanted the usual, whatever that was.”

“I’d do it.”



What your favourite kink says about your personality – from bondage to leather

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 14:54:43

EXCLUSIVE: Femme Fatale, an ambassador for the sexting platform Arousr, has discussed the most popular kinks and what they really mean about your personality

Source: Dailystar.co.uk

UK – Ever wondered what your favourite kink says about you?

See more and larger photo’s: Dailystar.co.uk

It turns out our wants in the bedroom can determine a lot about our personalities.

Now in case you’re wondering, we’ve spoken to a sexpert to find out more about desires between the sheets.

Femme Fatale is an ambassador for the prominent sexting platform Arousr so it’s safe to say she knows her stuff.

With the platform promoting a non-judgemental approach to dirty talk, all users are able to experiment in a safe environment.

Here Femme has provided her experienced insight into what their favourite kink might say about them.

So are you ready?

Cuckolding

If you enjoy watching your wife have sex with various partners, this means that you are adventurous and open-minded.

Femme said: “By watching your wife experience pleasure with another, you feel you have also done your part in helping please her.

“So you may have a smaller than average penis. Who cares!

“Instead of taking a trip down the shame spiral, you find a more suitable sexual partner for your wife to enjoy while you watch.”

Sissification/Feminisation

You might be straight, but behind closed doors you enjoy exploring a more feminine side.

Femme claims these people have the most thrill in taking off their work clothes and slipping into a pair of women’s panties.

She added: “The secrecy of your feminine indulgence is part of what arouses you.

“Far from ever wanting to be a drag queen, you prefer to operate as a sissy boy in private.

“You quite enjoy being bossed around by a dominant female and playing dress-up with her.”

Humiliation

People who are into humiliation are more often than not in positions of power.

If you have a certain degree of power, you’re more than likely in need of a way to release some of your personal responsibilities.

The sexpert said: “Your power in your daily life is constantly being validated, by anyone from employees to your significant other.

“You hold all the cards and make all the important decisions; if not for your strict control, everything might fall apart.

“Vanilla sex is simply not enough to satisfy your urge to be slapped in the face and spat on.”

Bondage

Being into bondage means you enjoy being constrained and love an element of servitude.

Femme reckons this means you enjoy being dominated and used for sexual gratification.

She continued: “You find joy in being a subject of external power and control from a more dominant partner in play.”

Leather Play

If slipping into leather is something that turns you on, it may be that you have hyphepillia where you’re aroused by a material.

Leather as a textile can also signify an association to the BDSM community, as leather play is not only restricted to this textile.

It can also serve as your gateway to whips, paddles, chains, and bondage.

Chastity

Those who are into chastity adore restraint and denial.

Getting close to climax but never being able to finish is what keeps lovers of this kink coming back for more.

But according to Femme, guys who are into this like to be withheld from sexual gratification.

She added: “The longer one restrains from climax, the more they yearn to be controlled and make this feeling of control last.

“This is not a standard sex practice, but it shares similarities to an ancient one you may know as Tantra.”



Harvard Sex Week Returns With BDSM Workshops and More “We include events that are as inclusive, diverse, encouraging of open dialogue as possible for students”

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 14:40:41

Source: Legalinsurrection.com

USA – This event was suspended during the pandemic but is now back in full force. Is this the final proof that the pandemic is over?

See larger photo on: Legalinsurrection.com

The College Fix reports:

Harvard hosts ‘Hit Me Baby One More Time’ BDSM tutorial, ‘Orgies 101,’ anal sex workshop

Harvard University students are once again hosting Sex Week activities after taking last year off due to the COVID pandemic.

Among the slate of workshops scheduled for the weeklong, student-organized event is “Hit Me Baby One More Time,” billed as an “Intro to BDSM.”

“BDSM is a term used to describe aspects of sex that involve dominance, submission and control,” according to WebMD.

Bondage restricts a partner with “ropes, handcuffs, or other restraints,” while sadomasochism refers to “pleasure that a partner may feel from either inflicting pain (sadism) or receiving pain (masochism), either physical or emotional.”

Another workshop is called “What What in the Butt: Anal 101.” Harvard students have made a habit of offering anal sex tutorials during previous Sex Weeks, as The College Fix has previously reported.

Other topics to be tackled this year include porn, talking dirty in bed, fetishes and “Orgies 101.”

And “anyone with a uterus” is invited to a seminar about freezing eggs for free to preserve future fertility, it states on the Sex Week Facebook page.

According to the Sex Week calendar of events, about 20 different workshops and panels will comprise the festivities, which launched Monday and runs through Sunday.

Sex Week is hosted by the student organization Sexual Health Education and Advocacy Throughout Harvard College, or SHEATH.

Its co-president, Andie Turner, told the Harvard Crimson: “We include events that are as inclusive, diverse, encouraging of open dialogue as possible for students who both have come to Harvard with little to no sex education in their hometowns, which is my case, or students that had grown up in families or communities that have much more of an open discourse with regards to sexuality, sex intimacy, but just want to further their knowledge.”



Dominatrix with kilo of cocaine in handbag after Caribbean jaunt cleared of drugs smuggling

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 14:30:08

Source: Standard.co.uk

UK – A woman who had a kilo of cocaine in her handbag as she flew home from a promotional trip for her work as a dominatrix has been cleared of drugs smuggling.

See larger photo on: Standard.co.uk

Simone Smith, 31, was carrying drugs worth an estimated £80,000 when she was stopped by Gatwick Airport border agents as she stepped off a plane from Antigua to the UK.

Smith insisted she did not know about the cocaine until its discovery – under an airline blanket in her handbag – and believed it may have been planted on her before or during the flight.

She was charged with trying to smuggle cocaine into the UK, but a jury acquitted her on Thursday following a Southwark crown court trial – nearly three years since her arrest.

When she was stopped at just after 6am on January 16, 2019, Smith told officers: “I don’t understand, I’ve got nothing to declare, I don’t understand what’s happening to me”.



Brass Against’s Frontwoman Urinated on a Fan’s Face During a Live Concert

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 14:22:12

It certainly gives “livestream” a whole new meaning

Source: Exclaim.ca

USA – The return to live music continues to be a wild one. Months after news of a Turnstile mosh pit pooper, we now have footage of a lead vocalist taking time out of a festival set to urinate on an incredibly willing fan.

See larger photo on: Exclaim.ca

As Loudwire points out, Brass Against — a New York-based outfit who aim to “inspire social and personal change” through both original songs and covers of Tool, Rage Against the Machine, Soundgarden and more — fully stole the show with the golden shower yesterday (November 11) at the Welcome to Rockville festival in Daytona Beach, FL.

Fan-shot footage from the event circulating online — which is absolutely NSFW — sees frontwoman Sophia Urista positioning herself over a fan lying face up onstage while Brass Against play a cover of Rage Against the Machine’s “Wake Up.”

After dropping her drawers and repeating the line, “I think I heard a shot,” the rocker proceeds to relieve herself on the fan — and the crowd goes wild. The recipient then gets up off the stage and pumps his fist for the raucous onlookers.

Urista’s urination gave a whole new meaning to “livestream,” as Welcome to Rockville’s organizers had allowed for online viewing in celebration of their 10th anniversary. You can view the footage at your discretion here.

Urista and Brass Against are set to support Tool on tour in 2022, and while we recommend reading up on venue bathroom policies, or packing a raincoat, you can find those dates here.



TOE THE LINE I’m a dominatrix and I get paid for people to suck my toes… I hate it but my clients can’t get enough

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 14:09:30

Source: Thesun.co.uk

UK – BRISTOL – A DOMINATRIX says she HATES it when clients suck her toes but they can’t get enough.

Carmen says most of her customers have a foot fetish and pay to suck and play with her toes.

See video and more photo’s on: Thesun.co.uk

The professional domme first became involved in the sex industry when she was 18 and has also worked in strip clubs and as a cam girl.

Out of all the services she provides, foot fetishes are her least favourite. 

She said: “I hate foot stuff but I get paid so much for it. 

“I hate someone sucking my toes, but they do not want to get kicked all the time so you just have to suck it up.

“Feet are such a common fetish. I do not touch their feet, they are the ones worshipping me.

“Massaging and sucking them [her feet] are the things you get the most.” 

Her main source of income is working in a Bristol strip club, but she’s also spent time working in the sex industry abroad – and has previously done “full service sex work”, more commonly known as prostitution.

Carmen – a woman in her 20s – said some of her clients for dominatrix work want to be insulted and others want to be beaten up, sometimes to the point where they pass out.

She has a wide range of clients and said there’s a variety of reasons why people request her services. 

“Different people want different things. I just ask them straight what they want and then I can just say if this is something I can provide or not. 

“You have to be direct because otherwise you can put yourself in a dangerous situation, as well as wasting everyone’s time.”

Carmen said she finds most of her clients online, advertising on adult work websites and also via social media platforms such as Twitter. 

They normally go to a hotel the client has booked and she will only go to their house if she has met them a few times. 

Some bookings are just for an hour or two while others can last up to seven hours if the client wants to take her out for dinner or to go to bars, adding that some like to show her off.

Everyone has got a different fetish or kink. Carmen

“I used to see more clients, but it takes a lot of time and energy,” she continued. 

“It is mainly regulars that I do now. I only do it [dominatrix work] a couple of times a month now.

“If you get on with the client, you can have fun and have a lovely evening. It is like any other job.”

Carmen said 90 per cent of her clients for dominatrix work are men, but gets some clients who are non-binary or trans as they feel safe with someone who is also LGBTQ+.

She said her regular clients are the ones that are more well off and that their ages start at late 20s.

“If they are just booking you for a couple of hours, most people already know what they want to explore,” she continued. 

“It is just their kink – everyone has got a different fetish or kink.

“I think it is very important for people to be able to express them [their fetish and kinks] in a consensual and safe manner.”

Carmen said she has never had any problems while working as a dominatrix, but that she takes some safety precautions such as sharing her location before a booking.

If the client is willing to give it, she will ask for ID, she continued, and she also takes a deposit of up to 50 per cent, before adding that these days she does not need to take a booking if she is not comfortable with it.

MAY AS WELL GET PAID

Carmen first became involved in the sex industry when she was 18, working in a strip club in the north of England.

However, she only did it for a few months at that point as she was not prepared for it mentally.

“It was too much,” she said. “I did not have the right tools to navigate it and I also looked very young.

“I started full-time again when I was 22 or 23. In between, I worked in hospitality. For the amount of harassment I got in bars, I thought I may as well get paid for it.”

Carmen said that initially she was just working in strip clubs, adding that she likes the performance side of the job and that getting used to the other dancers and the unwritten rules of each club are the hardest aspects.

When returning to Bristol in her mid 20s, Carmen became involved in more sides of the sex industry. 

It was around this time that she started working as a dominatrix, which does not involve penetrative sex. Instead, she offers services such as ‘Goddess worshipping’, spit play and ‘water sports’. 

Carmen said that the amount of money she makes is really variable so it is wise to try to save as much as she can in the good times.

She said she also performs all over the UK and Europe, with her shows including pole dancing, burlesque and cabaret.

Performing is her creative outlet, she continued, and she enjoys it best when she can do something really different. At the moment, her ‘Magic Mike’ performance is her favourite as she gets to play with gender and have fun.

Her plan is to go travelling again soon who sees herself working in the sex industry until her mid-thirties when she would like to start working as a pole-dancing teacher.



Trial of Julia Enright, dominatrix charged with murdering classmate, to begin Monday

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 13:58:20

Source: EU.telegram.com

WORCESTER — Opening statements are expected Monday in the trial of Julia Enright, the Ashburnham dominatrix accused of stabbing a former classmate to death four years ago inside a treehouse that was outfitted with restraints. 

See larger photo on: EU.telegram.com

The case is set to be called at 9 a.m. Monday in Worcester Superior Court after a jury was seated Thursday.

nright, 24, is accused of murdering 20-year-old Brandon Chicklis of Westminster, a former boyfriend, and leaving his body by the side of the highway in Rindge, New Hampshire, wrapped in trash bags. 

Prosecutors allege Enright, a phlebotomist who had a side business as a dominatrix, lured Chicklis to a treehouse near her home and murdered him to satisfy a growing urge to kill. 

The woman, 21 at the time, had a number of “deviant” interests, prosecutors allege, including sexual cutting and bloodplay. Eight days before Chicklis was last seen alive, Enright tried and failed to bribe Planned Parenthood to allow her to keep a fetus she aborted, they allege, so she could “play with” its bones.

Enright had a fascination with animal bones, prosecutors say, and routinely placed dead animals in bags or cages so she could use their bones to make art after they decomposed.

Authorities searching her home found vials of blood, a used condom collection, numerous knives and a “wet specimen,” prosecutors have said. 

The prosecution and defense last month argued for hours about how much evidence jurors should be able to see. The defense argued much of it was irrelevant and unfairly prejudicial under the law, while prosecutors argued it was relevant to, among other topics, Enright’s mental capacity and motive. 

In rulings this week, Superior Court Judge Daniel M. Wrenn issued line-by-line judgments on much of the proposed evidence. 

Because some of the rulings referenced evidence contained on specific pages of documents that have not been publicly released, it is not possible to glean from the rulings all the specific evidence that was approved or excluded. 

The rulings do make clear that statements Enright made about her love of bone art, certain dominatrix photos, photos of knives seized from her room, and a red-ink drawing of a dominatrix and a person tied up would be admissible. 

Prosecutors have said the treehouse where the murder took place featured a system of restraints. 

Also admissible are photos authorities took in Enright’s home of vials of blood, “specimens,” and a “dominatrix outfit and paraphernalia.” Photographs of “plastic tubs with animal carcasses in various states of rotting” will be allowed, too. 

Excluded items include photos of “a bucket of organs” and “a number of carcasses with the organs showing, as well as a video of the same with the defendant licking blood from a body part and a photograph of someone holding an organ.”

Judge Wrenn also ruled that a number of writings and journal entries Enright made were not admissible. It was not clear from the ruling which specific statements were excluded. 

Wrenn also issued rulings this week ordering some redactions to Enright’s police interrogation, including some questions or accusations from police he deemed unfairly prejudicial. 

Wrenn said jurors can see Enright discussing topics that include certain sexual acts she performed with her boyfriend, she and her boyfriend cutting each other, sexual practices “including knife play” and her dominatrix business. 

Enright’s lawyer, Louis M. Badwey, had argued those discussions should be excluded, saying there is no evidence Enright engaged in those types of activities with Chicklis. 

Assistant District Attorney Terry J. McLaughlin had argued for their inclusion, noting that Chicklis had been stabbed as many as 13 times. 

Enright’s boyfriend, John Lind, is expected to invoke his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination if called to the stand at trial. 

He has not been charged, and told Wrenn on the advice of a lawyer last month that he had a Fifth Amendment privilege given the anticipated nature of the prosecution’s questions. 

Wrenn agreed, and found Lind’s privilege valid

Aside from the “deviant” information at issue in the trial, prosecutors have several key pieces of evidence, including DNA matches for Chicklis’ blood in the treehouse and in Enright’s car. 

Chicklis was remembered by family in his obituary as a kind young man who achieved the rank of Life Scout with Troop 41 in Fitchburg, where he was schooled. 

A 2015 graduate of Montachusett Regional Vocational Technical School, he was working for a local HVAC company at the time of his death. He enjoyed camping, hiking and the outdoors. 



Melissa Todd: Author, news reader, editor and dominatrix

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 13:37:14

Source: Kentonline.co.uk

UK – KENT – Melissa Todd is a bright, engaging, articulate, well-spoken married mum-of-one who attended Boris Johnson’s old college at Oxford University.

See more and larger photo’s on: Kentonline.co.uk

She is a newsreader for Thanet-based Academy FM, edits the Broadstairs Beacon newspaper and also runs a theatre company. Oh, and she’s a dominatrix who, not to beat around the bush, charges £100 an hour to give men a damn good spanking.

“I get some very very odd requests,” she admits. “I was told to park on somebody’s hands. I didn’t do that. I thought where the hell has that come from? I’m rubbish at parking.

“He wanted me to be in my car, singing along to the radio while he was screaming in agony. That was odd.”

And who are we to argue?

A stripper from the age of 19, Melissa made a career change 11 years later.

“By the time I was 30,” she explains, “I thought I didn’t want to become a ridiculously ancient stripper so I thought I’d hang up my g-string and pick up a crop and start whacking people instead.”

Today Melissa supplements her “one-to-one disciplinary sessions” with posing for photos or making videos of a very adult nature.

“I sound like this and I look terribly demure,” she explains in her middle-class tones. “I sound like an average mousey housewife.

“But there are so many negative stereotypes around sex work and it just seems to be getting worse and worse – ‘they’re victims, pathetic and corrupting society’, and all the rest of it, but they’re just people, with lives and stories.”

In an effort to try to challenge the perception of the sex industry Melissa has written a book – released on November 16 – called My Body Is My Business. Based around “a fictional framework”, it draws heavily on her own experiences.

Now 45 and having lived in Thanet since 2003, Melissa is bold and fearless in the career she has chosen. Incredibly, she even convinced her mother to follow in her footsteps.

“She was a dominatrix as well,” she admits.

“I corrupted her. She got made redundant in her mid-60s and thought ‘I could do that’ and she was really good at it. She was very good at role play too.

“I was working out of her house, as my son was a bit younger then, so she’d often hide upstairs with a baseball bat just in case, so she’d hear it all happening. And she thought ‘wow, this is brilliant – £100 an hour, why am I messing about?’ And they absolutely loved her.”

Speaking to Melissa is a rather disarming experience. The image of the exploited sex worker falling victim to the depravities of men seems a long way from what she has experienced and the genuine enthusiasm with which she speaks of her chosen career.

“I’ve honestly not seen any exploitation in 26 years,” she says. “I’m sure it’s out there, but its certainly not the only story.

“Most of the film companies I work for are all run by women – and that’s not a choice I’ve made. I’m happy to work with men, but all the spanking content is being made by women currently so I just don’t see any exploitation happening. It’s certainly not been my experience at all. And I think I would have seen it.”

To be clear, she offers “no sexual services at all” adding: “It’s just a good whacking. All the sex happens in their head.”

Happily married, her husband thinks her sex career is “hilarious”and her son – now an adult – is well aware of how his mum earns her income.

Yet safety remains a concern. She recently tweeted about one encounter with a new client: “Always an anxiety-inducing moment when a new man ties you up. This one decided to tell me he was a policeman just as he gagged me. Maybe that’s meant to reassure.”

In the light of the Sarah Everard case, it’s chilling in many ways.

“I was genuinely nervous,” she admits when I ask her about it. “I hadn’t seen that man before, so it was probably a bit idiotic really to allow him to tie me up. But he had worked with other girls that I knew. Of course you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. I completely trusted him actually. And I wasn’t suspended from a ceiling so if I needed to get away, I could have wriggled free. It was mainly for a photo shoot.

“But there is always a bit of ‘oh Christ, is this is going to be the day I die’ but so far, those who like spanking tend to be lovely, they really do.

“It’s a fetish which tends to belong to clever, creative people, as obviously turning pain into pleasure takes quite a lot of brains and imagination. I’ve always been fine and hopefully will remain so, but yeah, I probably should have been a bit more sensible.

“It was only when he told me he was a police officer I thought ‘oh no!’. But he was lovely.

“Most of the problems I had have been with women. If I’m going to get any abuse it tends to be from women on stripper-grams. My agent always used to say if you need the loo on a stripper-gram job use the men’s as the women will punch you if they get the chance.

“I had stones thrown at me by women when I was working in Southall. Men are always very happy when you’re naked, is my experience; women are very cross!

‘Men are always very happy when you’re naked is my experience; women are very cross!’

“What’s the problem? I’m just making a living. I don’t know why they’re so unhappy.

“I’m not the enemy. There’s nothing special about me. I’m not particularly attractive, I breast-fed for four years so my breasts aren’t even worth seeing, I’m just using what I’ve got to have some fun and make a living. The idea I’m going to try and steal your husband is like a nursery worker wanting to steal your kid. You’re just using them for cash. There’s nothing to be frightened of.”

Melissa got into the sex industry as a student.

“I was at Oxford University reading philosophy, politics and economics at Balliol College, Boris Johnson’s old college, and I just hated it. I didn’t fit in. I was a really shy girl from an Essex comprehensive and it just wasn’t the right place for me at all. You need to be very confident and out-there to do well at Oxford and that wasn’t me. So I decided to take a year out.

“I saw an advertisement in the Evening Standard saying ‘dancers wanted’ and promising up to £600 a night, no experience necessary. I thought that sounded perfect as I have no experience of anything, I love money and I like dancing. I was so green I turned up for the audition in leg-warmers. I thought it was going to be something like Fame.

“The auditions consisted of walking on stage, getting your breasts out and walking off again. There was no routine to learn. I didn’t get it that time, but the next time I got the idea – borrowed some stockings and underwear, went back on and got the job.

“I loved it. I loved the camaraderie, the sequins and the glitter balls and the champagne. And I never looked back.”

That first job was at the famous The Windmill strip club in Soho.

“It was only meant to be a year but I never stopped,” Melissa explained. “You just get used to the compliments, the fun and the money. Obviously, that was exciting. I never quite got to £600 – I used to chat to people too much I forgot to hustle. But I was making £200 a night, so that’s £1,200 a week, which in 1994 for a 19-year-old was an awful lot of money.

“I bought a house, I learned to drive, I gave my mum some money because she was skint. I just liked the lifestyle and enjoyed showing off.

“They had very strict rules in place, bouncers everywhere; when you did a table dance you had to be three feet away from the client and no touching. It was very hard to get into trouble really. There was a house mother who looked after us, made sure we didn’t get too drunk and gave us sandwiches. It was all terribly sweet actually.

“There were all sorts of women doing it. There were lots of Australian backpackers doing the world tour and financing it through stripping; lots of students and older women, single mums, women trying to set up their own business – there was someone trying to set up a florist company but she couldn’t make it pay so she was lap-dancing by night.”

So what did her parents make of her career choice?

“They were very relaxed about it,” Melissa remembers. “Despite my accent I don’t come from a respectable background, so there was no expectation I should do anything steady or sensible.

“My mum sang and danced in cabaret all over the world, and thought my making money by showing off was a very sensible plan. My dad drove a black cab and used to pick me up from the Windmill at 3.30am every night, where we would have a friendly competition as to who’d managed to collect the most cash during the evening – usually it was him!”

After moving to the Sunset Strip Theatre in Soho, Melissa met “a chap who came looking to recruit girls for spanking magazines”.

“He auditioned me in the back of a shop; he gave me a spanking and I thought this is quite fun,” she recalls.

And thus her move out of stripping and into the world of domination began.

Needless to say, she’s had some odd requests – other than the previously mentioned one about parking.

Does she sometimes wonder just where on earth these desires come from?

“All the time,” she admits. “If they just want a standard beating I get that because I like spanking as well. But I get some very, very odd requests.

“I genuinely like my clients. Many are my friends, we hang out, I’ve counselled them through the death of their parents and the birth of their grandchildren. I think it’s incredibly brave to come to a stranger and say ‘I’ve got this weird fetish, I need to do this, can you help me?’.

“I might just laugh, or not understand or get it wrong. It’s a privilege to help, genuinely. I know that sounds like a lie, but it’s true.

“Do I enjoy it? I love it. I really do. It’s really creative. I like performing. I like spanking people. It’s really fun. It’s like a therapy really. A release for them as well as for me – it’s just brilliant.”

And Melissa hopes her book will go some way towards removing society’s knee-jerk despising of those who work in the industry.

“I’m really hoping to challenge those stereotypes and see that sex is just fun,” she says. “It’s not terrifying, it’s not dangerous, I’m not corrupting the universe. I’m just having a laugh.

‘Sex is just fun. It’s not terrifying, it’s not dangerous, I’m not corrupting the universe. I’m just having a laugh…’

“It’s probably about 5% of my life and 5% of my clients’ lives. But it just gives a bit of glamour and glitter to what, let’s face it, can be a pretty mundane, tedious way of getting through it.

“It’s just a giggle. To take it seriously is insane.”

Melissa Todd’s book, My Body Is My Business can be pre-ordered by clicking here.



I didn’t derive any sexual pleasure from spitting; only psychological: Melissa Febos in ‘Girlhood’

BDSM Media News Posted on Sat, December 04, 2021 13:23:30

Source: Timesofindia.indiatimes.com

USA – American writer, professor Melissa Febos is best known for her debut book ‘Whip Smart’, a memoir which was published in 2010. In her memoir, Melissa opened up about her unconventional job as a professional dominatrix, a work which she did while she was studying at The New School. The book was critically acclaimed and it was followed by the essay collections ‘Abandon Me’ in 2017 and more recently ‘Girlhood’, which was published in India in September 2021 by Bloomsbury. While ‘Abandon Me’ was a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist, her third book ‘Girlhood’ became an instant bestseller in the USA. As the title suggests, ‘Girlhood’ is about what it really means to be female and what it means to free oneself from others expectations. “It is in part by writing this book that I have corrected the story of my own girlhood and found ways to recover myself. I have found company in the stories of other women, and the revelation of all our ordinariness has itself been curative. Writing has always been a way to reconcile my lived experience with the narratives available to describe it (or lack thereof). My hope is that these essays do some of that work for you, too,” Melissa writes in the prologue of the book.

See larger photo on: Timesofindia.indiatimes.com

American writer, professor Melissa Febos is best known for her debut book ‘Whip Smart’, a memoir which was published in 2010. In her memoir, Melissa opened up about her unconventional job as a professional dominatrix, a work which she did while she was studying at The New School. The book was critically acclaimed and it was followed by the essay collections ‘Abandon Me’ in 2017 and more recently ‘Girlhood’, which was published in India in September 2021 by Bloomsbury. While ‘Abandon Me’ was a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist, her third book ‘Girlhood’ became an instant bestseller in the USA. As the title suggests, ‘Girlhood’ is about what it really means to be female and what it means to free oneself from others expectations. “It is in part by writing this book that I have corrected the story of my own girlhood and found ways to recover myself. I have found company in the stories of other women, and the revelation of all our ordinariness has itself been curative. Writing has always been a way to reconcile my lived experience with the narratives available to describe it (or lack thereof). My hope is that these essays do some of that work for you, too,” Melissa writes in the prologue of the book.
Read an exclusive excerpt from Melissa Febos’ latest essay collection ‘Girlhood’ here:

KETTLE HOLES
“What do you like?” the men would ask. “Spitting,” I’d say. To even utter the word felt like the worst kind of cuss, and I trained myself not to flinch or look away or offer a compensatory smile after I said it. In the dungeon’s dim rooms, I unlearned my instinct for apology. I learned to hold a gaze. I learned the pleasure of cruelty.
It was not true cruelty, of course. My clients paid $75 an hour to enact their disempowerment. The sex industry is a service industry, and I served humiliation to order. But the pageant of it was the key. To spit in an unwilling face was inconceivable to me and still is. But at a man who had paid for it?

They knelt at my feet. They crawled naked across gleaming wood floors. They begged to touch me, begged for forgiveness. I refused. I leaned over their plaintive faces and gathered the wet in my mouth. I spat. Their hard flinch, eyes clenched. The shock of it radiated through my body, then settled, then swelled into something else.

“Do you hate men?” people sometimes asked.

“Not at all,” I answered.

“You must work out a lot of anger that way,” they suggested.

“I never felt angry in my sessions,” I told them. I often explained that the dominatrix’s most useful tool was a well-developed empathic sense. What I did not acknowledge to any curious stranger, or to myself, was that empathy and anger are not mutually exclusive.

We are all unreliable narrators of our own motives. And feeling something neither proves nor disproves its existence. Conscious feelings are no accurate map to the psychic imprint of our experiences; they are the messy catalog of emotions once and twice and thrice removed, often the symptoms of what we won’t let ourselves feel. They are not Jane Eyre’s locked-away Bertha Mason, but her cries that leak through the floorboards, the fire she sets while we sleep and the wet nightgown of its quenching.

I didn’t derive any sexual pleasure from spitting, I assured people. Only psychological. Now, this dichotomy seems flimsy at best. How is the pleasure of giving one’s spit to another’s hungry mouth not sexual? I needed to distinguish that desire from what I might feel with a lover. I wanted to divorce the pleasure of violence from that of sex. But that didn’t make it so.

It was the thrill of transgression, I said. Of occupying a male space of power. It was the exhilaration of doing the thing I would never do, was forbidden to do by my culture and by my conscience. I believed my own explanations, though now it is easy to poke holes in them.

I did not want to be angry. What did I have to be angry about? My clients sought catharsis through the reenactment of childhood traumas. They were hostages to their pasts, to the people who had disempowered them. I was no such hostage— I did not even want to consider it. I wanted only to be brave and curious and in control. I did not want my pleasure to be any kind of redemption. One can only redeem a thing that has already been lost or taken. I did not want to admit that someone had taken something from me.

His name was Alex, and he lived at the end of a long unpaved driveway off the same wooded road that my family did. It took ten minutes to walk between our homes, both of which sat on the bank of Deep Pond. Like many of the ponds on Cape Cod, ours formed some fifteen thousand years ago when a block of ice broke from a melting glacier and drove deep into the solidifying land of my future backyard. When the ice block melted, the deep depression filled with water and became what is called a kettle-hole lake.

Despite its small circumference, our pond plummeted fifty feet at its deepest point. My brother and I and all the children raised on the pond spent our summers getting wet, chasing one another through invented games, our happy screams garbled with water. I often swam out to the deepest point—not the center of the pond, but to its left—and trod water over this heart cavity. In summer, the sun warmed the surface to bath temperatures, but a few feet deeper it went cold. Face warm, arms flapping, I dangled my feet into that colder depth and shivered. Fifty feet was taller than any building in our town, was more than ten of me laid head to foot. It was a mystery big enough to hold a whole city. I could swim in it my whole life and never know what lay at its bottom.

An entry in my diary from age ten announces: “Today Alex came over and swam with us. I think he likes me.”

Alex was a grade ahead of me and a foot taller. He had a wide mouth, tapered brown eyes, and a laugh that brayed clouds in the chill of fall mornings at our bus stop. He wore the same shirt for four out of five school days, and I thought he was beautiful. I had known Alex for years, but that recorded swim is the first clear memory I have of him. A few months later, he spat on me for the first time.

When I turned eleven, I enrolled in the public middle school with all the other fifth-and sixth-graders in our town. The new bus stop was farther down the wooded road, where it ended at the perpendicular intersection of another. On that corner was a large house, owned by Robert Ballard, the oceanographer who discovered the wreck of the Titanic in 1985. Early in his career, Ballard had worked with the nearby Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, and it was during his deep- sea dives off the coast of Massachusetts that his obsession with shipwrecks was born. Sometimes I studied that house—its many gleaming windows and ivy-choked tennis court—and thought about the difference between Ballard and my father, who was a captain in the merchant marines. One man carried his cargo across oceans; the other ventured deep inside them to discover his. I was drawn to the romance of each: to slice across the glittering surface, and also to plunge into the cold depths. A stone wall wrapped around Ballard’s yard. Here, we
waited for the school bus.

I read books as I walked to the bus stop. Reading ate time. Whole hours disappeared in stretches. It shortened the length of my father’s voyages, moved me closer to his returns with every page. I was a magician with a single power: to disappear the world. I emerged from whole afternoons of reading, my life a foggy half-dream
through which I drifted as my self bled back into me like steeping tea.

The start of fifth grade marked more change than the location of my bus stop. My parents had separated that summer.

My body, that once reliable vessel, began to transform. But what emerged from it was no happy magic, no abracadabra. It went kaboom. The new body was harder to disappear.

“I wish people didn’t change sometimes,” I wrote in my diary. By people, I meant my parents. I meant me. I meant the boy who swam across that lake toward my new body with its power to compel but not control.

Before puberty, I moved through the world and toward other people without hesitance or self-consciousness. I read hungrily and kept lists of all the words I wanted to look up in a notebook with a red velvet cover. I still have the notebook. “Ersatz,” it reads. “Entropy. Mnemonic. Morass. Corpulent. Hoary.” I was smart and strong and my power lay in these things alone. My parents loved me well and mirrored these strengths back to me.

Perhaps more so than other girls’, my early world was a safe one. My mother banned cable TV and sugar cereals, and made feminist corrections to my children’s books with a Sharpie. When he was home from sea, my father taught me how to throw a baseball and a punch, how to find the North Star, and start a fire. I was protected from the darker leagues of what it meant to be female. I think now of the Titanic—not the familiar tragedy of its wreck, the scream of ice against her starboard flank, the thunder of seawater gushing through her cracked hull. I think of the short miracle of her passage. The 375 miles she floated, immaculate, across the Atlantic.
My early passage was a miracle, too. Like the Titanic’s, it did not last.