You may not have heard of femdom hypnotists, but proponents of the subculture say that being sexually submissive is not a form of weakness.
Source: Thedailybeast.com.
USA – If there’s something we can be grateful for in the internet age, it’s the accessibility of formerly niche sub-cultures. We don’t have to go our entire lives feeling shame over our genuine desires—sexual or otherwise.
This wasn’t always the case for Max* (not his real name). He had access to a personal computer for the first time in the early 2000s and an errant Yahoo search for the words “horny” and “hypnosis” helped open his eyes to the world of femdom hypnosis and leading him into a decades-long cycle of arousal and shame, before finally leaning in and embracing the scene.
For those that are unfamiliar with it, hypnosis can seem like the tricks of a Vegas-residency magician. But it has many functions outside of entertainment. Studies have shown that hypnotherapy can actually have positive effects on some physical ailments and symptoms. Hypnosis as a form of arousal isn’t that far of a jump.
Femdom hypnosis sits under the umbrella of female domination, and River Nixie, a content creator and hypnodomme, describes it as “guiding someone into an altered state of conscious, a flow state, with the goal of creating heightened states of arousal and pleasure and relaxation”.
Nixie entered the world of domination nearly 10 years ago when her partner introduced her to female domination and erotic hypnosis. It was a natural fit. For the past eight years, she’s been doing it professionally, usually 10 to 15 hours a week. After lockdowns due to COVID-19, she transitioned to doing it full-time.
Like other forms of sexual domination, femdom hypnosis often comes down to enjoying the relinquishing of control. “A lot of times people just want to be told that it’s OK to relax and that they’re in a safe space to be able to explore themselves and their fantasies,” Nixie says. Her clients often include people, usually cis men, who have high-pressure jobs and high demands on their time. They’re drawn to her content because she can often be one of few people in their lives that are permitting them to relax and let go.
The actual recordings are diverse. Femdom hypnosis can range from degradation to more gentle forms of domination. Some are sleepy and trance-like, while others are more intense and demanding. The general appeal of these experiences usually comes down to relinquishing control. “Many files include instructions/commands/suggestions to masturbate, so if that’s the content of the file, that’s what I’ll do.” Max says. “Since this is a fetish experience, physical gratification isn’t also necessary, but it’s also porn, and sometimes I just consume it as such.”
Not all femdom hypnotists are directly speaking to clients. Some sell pre-recorded audio of hypnosis scripts–that’s where someone like Max comes in. A writer by trade and someone who is intimately aware of what the script sounds like for hypnosis sessions, Max started to write scripts, selling them to professional femdoms on commission and has been a full-time scriptwriter since 2015. “I write with the voice of my client in mind… they take what I’ve written and they add their own twist on it”.
River Nixie sells femdom hypnosis audio, and as a result, doesn’t interact with most of her clients. However, she does have a relationship with a select few, some of whom she’s been corresponding with for years. “Each relationship is really unique… Some people are looking more for companionship or friendship, some people like it to be more of a professional dom/sub relationship, and some tell her every little thing about their lives”. Whatever the relationship is, it’s important for Nixie that it’s one based on mutual trust and safety, as it dramatically improves the experience.
Doing femdom hypnosis full-time can be taxing for some. River Nixie describes her workload as seemingly 24/7. Her work hours can be irregular, as she communicates with people virtually all over the world. And because her work is a mix of recording audio, video, and one-on-one-interactions through texting or on the phone, the workflow can be intense. “I’m usually working on several pieces at a time, in different phases of production—concepts, writing, planning and costume, shooting video and recording audio, editing and mixing, uploading and promotion—so there’s always something to do and the moment I’m done with one piece, I’m right into the next.”
That being said, it’s not without benefits. Hypnodommes have the autonomy to set rates for their work as they wish. Audio files usually go for a little less than videos, ranging anywhere from $5-$50, depending on how long the recording is. Videos can cost anywhere from $10-$300, also depending on the length of the video. If a hypnodomme creates custom content, they can pull in some serious cash. Some charge per minute, differentiating between “basic” and “premium” content, and going for $45-$95 per five minutes. Others charge flat rates starting at $750. The individual business model of a hypnodomme varies from person to person, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility for a hypnodomme to have a viable and rewarding career.
While you can purchase clips on websites like Amazon or Etsy, many femdoms actually use third-party websites that specifically deal with sex work. These sites charge commissions, anywhere from 20-40 percent, but they also include things like age verifications. Nixie uses a variety of sites, but prefers a site like LoyalFans, as their commission is the lowest. They also have a user-friendly interface, especially for paid texting, as this allows creators to upload much larger file sizes which lets them offer a higher-end product.
From the perspective of the client, the investment into femdom hypnosis has the potential to be costly. Max says that when he first discovered femdom hypnosis, he would find himself purchasing files, deleting them, and purchasing new ones, as he had a cycle of shame associated with the act. “I would always tell myself, I’ll buy it once and be done, or I’ll use it for a month and be done”.
That cycle happened for nearly a decade. It wasn’t until he began to give himself permission to like what he likes that he started engaging with the work more sustainably—financially and emotionally. Now that he’s accepted his desires for what they are, he’s stopped deleting them and has built a library of content. And because he now works in the industry, he continues to purchase more content, look for more creators and try to find new favorites.
One of the things that is most fascinating about femdom hypnosis, and really female domination of any kind, is the way it challenges expected roles in sex—particularly between men and women. Submissive men can receive a bad rap, and there are a lot of misconceptions about men that seek out dominant women.
“There’s a common misconception that it has to do with weakness or insecurity. That your desire to be submissive is somehow connected to your trauma or damage from the past,” Max said, adding that we all have trauma and there’s no direct correlation between that and dom/sub inclinations. “You don’t have to have mother issues or father issues to be submissive. There’s a part of everybody that needs a break.”
Not to mention, people tend to be uncomfortable with hypnosis, even though it’s an explicitly consensual process, and usually even more so when it’s done professionally.
“One of the most potentially harmful narratives that I see is that someone could just hypnotize someone against their will. That’s not at all how it works. These are situations that are highly consensual, in fact, hypnosis will not work on someone who does not want it to. Or even on someone who is too afraid,” Nixie said.
This is an important note that she stresses. Her work is collaborative between her and her clients, and so even if she’s in the driver’s seat, it’s an experience that’s created together.
Tessa Fields, another femdom hypnotist says that the professional nature of this work is important in avoiding some unethical or downright abusive practices that happen in more casual play, which she refers to as “hypnokink.”
“In a strange way, when it is a vocation, you live by the rules of the platform”, she says. The hypno sessions are recordings, and if you use a specific platform to do the work, you have to abide by the rules of the platform, which isn’t something that happens in recreational play.
How you approach this type of work is the ultimate determinate crucial to whether you will be a good femdom hypnotist. Hypnotic Haylee, a self-described sensual femdom, says that good femdom hypnotists are those who have a passion for it.
While she says that over the past few years the field has become over-saturated, those that rise to the top are the ones that understand the hard work it takes and those that are open to creating bonds with their clients.
“The true talent comes when someone has a passion for it, they enjoy it themselves, they love learning about it, they love progressing with it, they love exploring different techniques,” she says.
No one understands this more than Fields. After successfully using hypnotherapy to quit smoking, she enrolled in a hypnotherapy course, which led to her using her BA in psychology to pursue clinical hypnotherapy. After being introduced to femdom hypnosis through a freelance client of hers, she tried to maintain a clinical practice while taking on clients for the erotic side, but the demand for erotic hypnosis was too great, and she made the choice to fully pivot to being a femdom hypnotist.
Fields also describes her relationship with her clients as varied, but says that she has a group of clients that she refers to as “her boys.” She thinks of herself as being in a relationship of sorts with these types of clients. They discuss boundaries and what they would like to achieve through hypnosis. She even goes as far as to say that if she quit femdom hypnosis tomorrow, she would still have a relationship with these clients. That’s how deep her connection with them is.
The union between cooperation and domination intrigues people like Max who are invested in femdom hypnosis. “It’s a matter of pure catharsis. The emotional strain of having your own agency and being in control of yourself needs a release. That’s something that’s incredibly intimate that you can get in a D/S relationship,” he said.
He’s even become acquainted with other men that are interested in femdom hypnosis, building a community with them and providing a safe space to talk about their issues and desires. “For a lot of us, it’s the thing we’re the most private about… When you say it out loud ‘I think the idea of a woman hypnotizing me is super hot and that’s what sex is to me’… when you say that you sound wacky as hell”. He said being in a community with these men helps participants engage in this fetish from a healthy and compassionate perspective.
Sex work is work. But at the same time, the nature of the work lends itself to deep forms of self-exploration and expression, from the side of the worker and the client. Femdom hypnosis might seem left-field, but when you really get down to it, it’s a form of intimacy that leaves behind preconceived notions of gender roles and expectations. And there’s nothing sexier than that.
