Source: Eenvandaag.avrotros.nl (In Dutch)
HILVERSUM – A disappointing dating market, more freedom, and no longer having to ‘take care’ of the other person: half (48 percent) of single women would rather remain single than enter into a relationship. Among men, this figure is 3 out of 10 (31 percent).
This is evident from research by the EenVandaag Opinion Panel and Libelle among nearly 7,500 singles and over 15,000 people in a relationship. It is certainly not only older people who no longer feel the need for a new love: among people aged 35 and over, a large group (56 percent) has also sworn off relationships. For example, because they have already had relationships, after which they feel the need to focus on themselves.
glorified housekeeper
Independence and freedom are very important for both men and women who prefer to remain single. “In a relationship, you constantly have to take the other person into account,” says a woman. And a man states: “Just doing my own thing, no being controlled.”
In addition, several women feel that in their previous relationships they were primarily used to provide care. They are no longer interested in that, as they prefer to invest that energy in themselves. “I am not a glorified housekeeper and cook,” says one participant. And someone else writes: “The housekeeper who made love is far behind me. Life is mine now.”
Discouraging dating market
Single men see particularly high expectations on the dating market. “Partners must have a sense of humor, be sensitive, strong, either masculine or feminine, handsome, and financially sound,” says one man. “The list of requirements has grown considerably in recent years.”
Consequently, well over half (55 percent) of single men find the selection on the dating market discouraging. Among women, nearly half (47 percent) perceive what is available on the dating market as lacking hope.
Being single is expensive!
Although a considerable group of singles would prefer to remain so, several participants observe that society is structured for couples. For instance, participants complain that they have to pay for everything alone: “Being single is expensive!”
A third (34 percent) of single women and 4 out of 10 (42 percent) single men therefore think that their lives would be easier if they were in a relationship. “It is easier to share the rent or groceries,” says a single woman. “But overall, I am happier alone.”
Cuddle buddy
Participants also indicate that being single can sometimes be lonely and that a partner can make life more enjoyable.
“Emotional bonding, cuddling, and a buddy to discuss everyday things with,” a single man explains about the positive things relationships can bring.
Relationships aren’t perfect either.
At the same time, people in a relationship sometimes wonder what it would be like to be single again. 1 in 8 (12 percent) women and 1 in 14 (7 percent) men think they would even be happier again. For example, they have a greater need for freedom, say they have fallen into a rut, or are fed up with the unfair division of household chores. “My battery is dead,” says one woman.
A quarter (25 percent) of women in a relationship recognize this: they often feel they have to carry the burden alone within their relationship. This contrasts with 1 in 9 (11 percent) men who have this feeling.
My own place
For some in a relationship, it is important to keep their own space: 1 in 8 (12 percent) people in a relationship would rather live alone than together. For example, to avoid falling into a rut or because they have a great need for space to themselves.
Singles in the study identify with having space for themselves. The vast majority (73 percent) say they do not need a relationship to be happy. “ A relationship that adds something is nicer than being single. But my life is so fun that it is not easy for a partner to be the right addition,” says one participant.
