UK- KENT – Tracey Whitmore has been selling more bondage kit and sex toys than ever before – and she says it’s because people want more entertainment during lockdown than just Netflix
The owner of a Kent sex shop says she feels partly responsible for an apparent coronavirus lockdown baby-boom.
Tracey Whitmore, who runs Vibez Adult Boutique in Aylesford, says there was a surge in sales of sex toys designed for couples, and bondage gear when the second lockdown was announced.
She believes that there’s only so much Netflix and banana bread you can take before looking for an even fruitier ways to pass the time.
Speaking to KentLive, she said: “People are getting more involved in the scene, there’s only so much Netflix you can watch isn’t there?
“They were trying to keep themselves occupied, there’s been a baby boom which I partly feel responsible for.”
There is currently no evidence of a Brit baby boom, but some are expecting maternity wards to be brimming next year.
Vibez, which is located in a huge warehouse on an industrial estate, stocks everything from classy lingerie to £4,000 “Samantha” sex dolls.
And she says her customers were desperate to get their hands on some new kit after being left to amuse themselves indoors for months.
She said: “When we opened up again after the first lockdown it went crazy. People had been cooped up far too long.
“With the warning we had for the second lockdown people knew they’d need to properly get their orders in.
“It was a bit of everything really, our mechanical aid machines were big sellers.
“We also sold a lot of couple toys and bondage equipment.
“We do sell face masks but you can’t really social distance with the products we sell.”
Tracey, who has run the shop with her son for 15 years, added that she had adapted her business in line with changing consumer needs after they were caught out by March’s mothballing of non-essential businesses.
She arranged a delivery service for the next wave of restrictions, with a predictably cheeky name.
Tracey explained: “With the second lockdown people stocked up, we were very busy just before we went in to it.
“We started to offer some services. One was called Deliverooh which was a free local delivery and come and collect.
“With that and the website sales we did OK and it helped that our customers stayed very loyal.
“Obviously we weren’t as busy as when we had the shop open. In fact just before we closed in March business was really booming.”
UK – Unapologetic and unabashed, clad in a risque bikini with her jet black hair cascading down her back and bangs accentuating her long face, a brazen and playful smile complementing the jutted out pose, Bettie Page or the Queen of Pinups, is considered one of the biggest icons of women empowerment and the sexual revolution. Being a fascinating figure for the heterosexual male gaze, Page has also served as a symbol of liberation from inhibitions, self-love and body positivity, having a remarkable influence on young girls and women, making them a lot more accepting of themselves and their bodies. Although this beauty passed away in 2008 at the age of 85, her legacy continues to be celebrated today, making her one of the most posthumously influential people in the world. A pop-cultural icon, she has not only been the inspiration for singers like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Beyonce and Madonna but also for various avenues such as fashion, film, comics, shows and more, popularising the “Bettie bangs” and bondage culture.
Mark Mori directed a wonderful film named Bettie Page Reveals All in which Page serves as the narrator. Page, who can be considered a symbol of resilience, self-confidence and determination, had a very difficult childhood, being subject to constant abuse at the hands of her father. Despite being bogged down by neglect, abuse, poverty and oppression, Page managed to rise above the ashes, managing her responsibilities while graduating with top marks and earning a college degree at Peabody College before being the successful self-made icon she would subsequently become. Fun fact, Page was voted “Girl Most Likely to Succeed” at her high school which foreshadowed the immensely successful career she would soon embark on. Page had married William E. “Billy” Neal in 1943 but divorced after a brief conjugal period of four years in 1947. It was 1947 that changed the course of her life completely.
In the 1940s, with the advent of laws that made nudity and pornography a criminal offence to prohibit them, “camera clubs” came into ostensible existence. Under the pretext of promoting artsy photography, they sold pornography under-the-counter. Page had an encounter with NYPD officer and avid photography enthusiast Jerry Tibbs who advised Betty to style her hair with bangs in front; this later became an iconic look for Page. Tibbs helped her make a pin-up portfolio free of cost. Soon, Page entered the wondrous world of “glamour photography”, where she became one of the most sought after camera club models due to her bold poses and lack of inhibition which was a rare find in the erotic industry. Having worked initially with Cass Carr, Page gradually began working with Irving Klaw. The latter was responsible for Page’s popularity as a bondage model.
“I wasn’t trying to be anything. I was just myself.”
Clad in sexy lingerie, Bettie Page would even comply to “special order requests” that were usually hailed from high-profile socialites, judges, doctors and more. She would indulge in various fetishistic positions which included “oops-I-dropped-my-panties” scenarios or that of abduction, slave-grooming, bondage, spanking, handcuffs and more. The preference lay in “passive” helpless girls who would stare on like a virgin nymphomaniac. Page shone through in these crude postures; she would oscillate back and forth between being a playful minx to a “stern dominatrix”. Despite being restrained or ball-gagged, the look in her eyes would subvert the general expectations that people had from the models; she was always in charge irrespective of the kind of clandestine feature she posed for. As Buszek said, “she was a partner in the process, not someone who was being exploited”.
Seductive and bold, Page came to be known as ‘The Queen of Curves’ and ‘The Dark Angel’, having won the title of ‘Miss Pinup Girl of the World’. However, Page quit modelling shortly after due to the “concocted witch-hunt” that was a result of society’s orthodox and repressive McCarthyism towards sex and nudity. A teenage boy reportedly died of accidental autoerotic asphyxiation and then-Senator Estes Kefaveur, a radical opposed to the “indecency” projected by nudity and gambling, and his committee, drew an expansive link between her bondage modelling and the boy’s death, trying to convey Page’s contribution in “juvenile delinquency”. Shortly after, page vanished from the face of the modelling industry causing a severe blow to Klaw’s business. She became a devout Christian, attending church services. As Page has been quoted saying in the film: “I don’t even believe God disapproves of nudity. After all, he put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden naked as jaybirds.”
Page’s retirement, however, ushered in a new dawn of a sexual revolution in the United States, where people began raising their voices against the “repressive sexual authorities”. With the beginning of the women’s liberation movement in the 1960s as well as the sexual revolution, Page has been credited for being the flagbearer of the latter, propagating the tenets of being a sex-positive feminist. An actual badass, Page never believed in concealing her bodily imperfections. She loved embracing her own flaws which were quite revolutionary and ground-breaking. She served as a perfect foil to the common mentality where women had to be the epitomes of perfection. Her unconventional beauty included “imperfect teeth and a slightly droopy eye” and curvy stature, which made her even more desirable. Exuding raw charm and confidence, Page was a different kind of sexy.
“I love to swim in the nude and roam around the house in the nude. You’re just as free as a bird!”
Bettie Page championed the cause of nudity. She loved embracing effort bare all not only for the sake of her profession and others’ entertainment but also for the sense of freedom and empowerment she derived from it. She wanted “to be remembered as the woman who changed people’s perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form” and boy, she did. She had been arrested for public indecency while posing nude on a beach. She refused to let the court of law bog her down and pleaded not guilty until she wore them down. Page also firmly disapproved of calling a woman’s body indecent. It was quite an irony to see how women’s bodies were used as commodities to please the heteronormative desires but would be shunned if used for personal pleasure. Page, who was the perfect example of a “virgin nymphomaniac” with the look of sex and innocence in her eyes, became the symbol for female sexuality triumphing over anxiety and insecurity. Embracing the female form the way it is was quite alien to women before Bettie Page showed them the way. As Angelica Luna had been quoted saying to The Atlantic, “Step down, Marilyn. You had nothing on Bettie”.
Bettie Page was soon “penniless and infamous” before her sudden resurgence which throned her as the queen she is. Her comeback story is inspiring and reeks of vibrance, exuberance, resilience and strong will. Despite the insurmountable obstacles that adorned her path, including her 10-year saga with schizophrenia, sexual assault as well as tumultuous personal life, Page managed to stay afloat in this vicious industry, with pride and courage. She was quite shocked and overwhelmed to know how celebrated she was even today. “It makes me feel wonderful that people still care for me… that I have so many fans among young people, who write to me and tell me I have been an inspiration,” she once said.
Page, who was also a talented artist, was her own hairstylist and often made her clothes and bikinis during shoots. The scanty and risque bikinis were quite scandalous and unseen at those times, disrupting the taboo norms, Bettie continued being the renegade, indulging in whatever she felt comfortable in: “I never kept up with the fashions. I believed in wearing what I thought looked good on me.”
Powerful and charming, Bettie Page defines brilliance. “Young women say I helped them come out of their shells,” she was quoted saying. The world, especially women, owe a lot to Page for being the pioneer of feminism and sexual freedom. Page’s carefree smile and mirth in her eyes, displaying her well-endowed pubic hair or while being bound, exudes sensuality and courage and the courage to embrace the body. Bettie Page should be relentlessly celebrated for being a product of rotten childhood trauma to a lovely and confident body that refused to be exploited by the male gaze and being an inspiration for women all over the world.
“I was not trying to be shocking or to be a pioneer. I wasn’t trying to change society or to be ahead of my time. I didn`t think of myself as liberated, and I don’t believe that I did anything important. I was just myself. I didn`t know any other way to be or any other way to live.”
USA – I began my professional career as a performance artist with a circus in Spain, but I’ve worked in so many fields. In my early 20s I worked for the UNHCR in South East Asia doing research and then moved on to carrying out research for various organisations and people in places like Afghanistan. Eventually, I decided to make a corporate career out of that work and at 25 I joined an agency in Sydney, Australia, where I was living at the time. But I hated the corporate world.
An ex from Shanghai, where I had also lived for a time, had once told me that I would make an interesting dominatrix, but during those years working in various different jobs, I never considered myself to be sexually adventurous. I have just always been very vocal about what I want sexually and ready to ask for it. I understand now that it’s not really the norm to say what you want, which is perhaps why my ex said what he did.
I’m now 36 and I’ve been working for ten years as a dominatrix. I initially transitioned from corporate work into the sex industry in Sydney in 2010. In the state of New South Wales, sex work is decriminalised; there is an industry there, a support system and online advertising for sex workers. So, I was able to safely dip my toe into the work and see if it was for me or not.
I found Salon Kitty’s, a dominatrix “dungeon” in Sydney and on my first day there, just sitting in the waiting room of the house (as we called it) probably taught me the most. I was surrounded by 20 women who were very opinionated, ready to share their frustrations and debrief their sessions. After I had interviewed, I sat in on a lot of sessions with mistresses.
In some of my first sessions I was able to see the clients respond, and it was so visceral. I was in awe of how intense human connection can look.
At Salon Kitty’s there were a number of very popular sessions, including anything to do with the a** or feet. I became versed in those things initially and then in corporal punishment and medical play. We would do workshops sometimes; the head mistress Amanda would organise different masters and mistresses to lead us in different skills—using rope, for example.
At the end of that first day of shadowing other mistresses, a Scottish man came in and asked to see the new Asian mistresses—which was, of course, me. I initially said no, but the other mistresses told me to ask him what he wanted and let him teach me. He showed me how to tie him up, and I ended up getting pretty into the session. I remember the room was mirrored and I could see myself laughing and looking so happy. I still have that reaction now, but I hadn’t seen myself like that before.
Because I have always been willing to speak up about what I want sexually, I think my personality suits this role as a dominatrix and mistress, but it actually took a while for me to start feeling comfortable calling myself a mistress. Perhaps it was imposter’s syndrome, as I’m very hard on myself and I set very high standards for how I should perform and achieve. I worked at Salon Kitty’s for a year and a half before they closed and then spent another year and a half working on my own before I felt comfortable with the title.
After Salon Kitty’s closed, I decided to try working as a dominatrix in Singapore and Hong Kong. I had spent some time in both places growing up and I felt comfortable there. That was around eight years ago and I still have some of my best clients in those cities—although with COVID-19 I haven’t seen them for a while.
When I first started working as a dominatrix in Sydney, my clients were very varied. We had everyone from students who were just legally allowed to walk through our door, to workmen and office workers who were ducking out for their lunch break. And I had mixed gender clients. Now, because of my high price point my clients are normally white collar, C-suite professionals, definitely people who are typically travelling internationally at least twice a month, if not once a week.
They have to have the flexibility to meet me where I want, because I will tell a client when I am going to be in a certain city and that I want them to be there and book hotels or locations. You need to have a certain income to be able to do that. I usually don’t meet people in their own country, but my best clients are now in Switzerland, New York in the U.S., Australia, Singapore and Hong Kong.
Right now I have 10 or 12 clients who I see on a regular basis, and they are all men apart from one woman. These clients are considered my slaves, and are typically people who are a little more ready to serve me long-term. Some people are not; perhaps Americans who have never left America and may not be as aware of hierarchy or the strictness of how I run things. I am quite a high protocol mistress with my slaves—which means I am strict and have a lot of rules to be followed.
I definitely have some married clients but I don’t see them as often as my divorced or single clients, because I demand more than just an hour here or there. To get into my inner circle of slaves is pretty difficult. I have an application process rather than just accepting appointments and I don’t accept a lot of people.
My application form asks lots of questions and as the years have passed I have become really picky. If someone passes that first stage, they have to meet me at a location of my choosing for lunch, and pay for the lunch and my time. Then I spend the afternoon with them, which they also pay for. If I’m OK with them after that, they can start coming to me for maybe one day to five days at a time. A day with me is US$10,000, so I will probably do a week of dominatrix work a month, as well as having online revenue streams. I earn more than I ever thought I would.
When I first started, I was only working an hour here or there and I kept the boundaries very strict; no intimate contact and various other rules. Now, it’s really on a case-by-case basis and it changes over time. I consider myself polyamorous, but if I see people getting too attached I may need to create some space if it’s not mutual, or, if it is mutual I might invite them in a little more in certain ways. The one rule I am very strict with is that if people come to me through the professional application route there will always be payments. I let that go into a grey area once and it got confusing.
Currently, I have my slaves who exist in that professional/personal relationship capacity. I have professional clients who I only see for an hour or so here or there and I am also just coming out of a marriage that I was in for a few years.
When I first met my husband he understood what I did as a dominatrix, but he did have an issue initially with the fact that I have previously done escort work. However, over the five years of our relationship and marriage it seemed that he was very supportive, and I think for the most part, he was. Perhaps ultimately, it was just too challenging to be with someone so practiced in being assertive when he seemingly was not.
Now, as well as my slaves and other professional clients I have two partners who didn’t come to me through the professional route, here in Bali where I live. I am busy, but I think it depends how authoritarian you want to be. I tell my partners, slaves and other clients what I need from them, how I need it and what I want. I think it would be harder and more time consuming if I was more flexible.
It took me seven years and the support of a therapist to tell my parents that I was a dominatrix—I think I was scared I was going to disappoint them. I was going to organize a trip to Singapore and tell them, but I ended up sharing the news over WhatsApp in a family group chat. My stepdad hasn’t said very much about it, but about a month after those messages, I took my mom on a trip to Margaret River in Australia and when we were on our own, she immediately started asking really great questions like: What the client’s motivations are? What my motivations are? What do I get out of it and how often did I see the clients? She wanted to build a bigger picture, so maybe I should have given her more credit? She loves me and cares about me so much, so she pushed past her own barriers as a bible school teacher.
I have had so many friends in so many different places, and the majority of them didn’t react well when I told them about my dominatrix work when I came out to them about it, which is sad. For the longest time, I only had friends who were in the sex industry. But in the past year or so, I have started to find accepting friends outside the industry.
I have no plans on stopping dominatrix work any time soon, because I want these people and these dynamics in my life for a long while. There are other things I want to do but because of how stigmatized sex work is, my options are limited. I think it’s unlikely I will end up on any boards of the charities that I try to work clandestinely with any time soon.
I’m actually working on a project at the moment where I’m collecting voice stories from sex workers in Asia. One of the questions I ask them is: What is the one thing that you would say about sex work?
I answered that question myself in my own recording and my feeling is that people should be aware that each sex worker is an individual, we all have a different perspective. People have different feelings about their profession to someone else in the same industry, and sex workers also all have different feelings about our profession.
To paint sex workers with a specific brush based on their industry isn’t fair to our individual experiences, emotions and reality. Like everyone else, from day to day or week to week we have different motivations.
Consider how complex as you feel as an individual—we are the same.
Mistress Eva Oh is an international dominatrix currently based in Bali. You can follow her on Twitter @youwillpleaseME
LUXEMBOURG – A Luxembourg City man who was approaching the end of a session with a professional dominatrix has begged her to escalate his pain by showing him local property listings, according to sources.
The man, who has been a renter since moving here nine years ago, visits the Kirchberg BDSM dungeon at least once a week.
On Wednesday, the hour-long session started with bondage and then moved on to the more painful practice of mocking the man about his small salary and inability to get a home loan.
As usual, this was followed by the dominatrix forcing the man to calculate all of the money he’s spent on renting over the past nine years.
While beating him with a leather snake whip, she forced him to repeat the figure – 160,920 euros – over and over until he could hardly breathe. Still, the pain and humiliation weren’t enough.
“Mistress Dawn, please show me the homes for sale in Luxembourg City,” he said. “I need it.”
After several minutes of pretending not to hear him, the dominatrix produced an iPad and scrolled through the local listings, slowly reading the enormous asking prices while the man moaned in agony. Still, it wasn’t enough.
“Mistress Dawn, on my street there’s a two-bedroom flat that sold five years ago for 450,000 euros,” he said. “I had thought about trying to buy it because it was the only place remotely in my budget, but I decided it was simply too ugly.”
“This morning, I noticed it was back on the market,” he continued. “Mistress Dawn, please, I need to know how much it’s going for today.”
The dominatrix patted him on the cheek, saying he had been a good boy and she didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
“Mistress Dawn, I’ve been a very bad boy and I deserve my punishment,” the man said. “Please, tell me the price.”
“It’s doubled,” the dominatrix said, causing the man to scream and howl. “To almost one million euros.”
“Bubble,” he said at last, using the safe word they had agreed would put an end to the torment. “Property bubble, Mistress Dawn. Property bubble.”
USA – Proving that love is blind, and sometimes kooky, a bodybuilder from Kazakhstan has tied the knot with his dearly beloved — a sex doll he dated for eight months before proposing a year ago.
Clad in a black tux and bow tie, Yuri Tolochko is seen planting a gentle kiss on Margo, who appears a bit stiff in her revealing white gown as she clutches a bouquet of flowers and stares into the distance.
The couple also shared a romantic first dance in front of dozens of guests who attended the traditional ceremony, which was shared on Instagram, the Sun reported.
“It’s happened. To be continued,” the actor and bodybuilder wrote after slipping a ring onto his bride’s finger.
The unconventional couple got engaged in December 2019, when the bald, blue-eyed hunk — who described himself as a “sexy maniac” — popped the question.
Images shared on social media illustrate the couple’s romantic lifestyle, including sunny vacations and bubble baths, captioned with hashtags including #ideal_relationship, #true_love and #happy_wife_happy_life.
In one post of them working out together, Tolochko wrote: “Couples need to talk less and connect more. With time and experience, Margo and I realized that it takes more than words to have a conversation.”
He added: “Your partner sure deserves the best, but they have to do their part.”
Tolochko said he met Margo at a nightclub, where he rescued her from some unwanted attention, adding that they had planned to take the plunge in March before the coronavirus pandemic hit.
He told the Daily Star that the wedding was delayed again after he was attacked during a transgender rally in the Kazakh city of Almaty on Oct. 31, when he suffered a concussion and a broken nose after dressing as a woman for the event.
Tolochko, who identifies as a pansexual, told the Daily Star that “our story turns me on much more than sex itself.”
He added that he also enjoys BDSM — bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism.
“I love being tortured, I can endure a lot of pain. I love to dominate too. Margo is capable of what other people are not capable of,” he said, according to the news outlet.
The only requirements for a wedding to take place in Kazakhstan are that both consenting partners have to be male and female over 18 years old — with no mention of whether dolls are included.
BELGIUM-BRUSSELS – József Szájer, who announced his resignation as an MEP on Sunday, has admitted to being the politician at the centre of the Brussels sex party scandal that occurred last Friday evening.
Euronews has contacted Szájer about the incident but has yet to receive a direct response.
However, Szájer released a statement to Hungarian media on Tuesday afternoon admitting to his presence at the gathering.
“A newspaper ran in the Belgian press today about a house party in Brussels on Friday that I was attending. After the police certificate, I indicated that I was a representative because I did not have a card, the police conducted the procedure, was given a verbal warning and then taken home.
“I didn’t use drugs, I offered to the police on the spot to have an official test done, but they didn’t. Police said an ecstasy pill was found. It’s not mine, I don’t know who placed it and how. I made a statement to the police about this.”
The statement concluded contritely.
“I am sorry that I have violated the rules of assembly, it was irresponsible on my part, I will take the penalties for that,” it read.
Belgian police stormed what has been widely described as a lockdown sex party in central Brussels, allegedly involving diplomats and an MEP, which was widely reported in Belgium and beyond before the statement came to light.
PPO report
The Belgian Public Prosecutors office sent Euronews a statement on Tuesday afternoon which confirmed that the police were alerted on Friday evening at around 9.30 p.m.
“The police were alerted by neighbours who complained about noise and potential breaches of measures related to the COVID-19 pandemic.
“In the apartment, the police found about twenty persons. The identity of all those present was checked,” it read, and then states that two of those in attendance pled diplomatic immunity.
It goes on: “A passer-by reported to the police that he had seen a man fleeing along the gutter; he was able to identify the man. The man’s hands were bloody. It is possible that he may have been injured while fleeing. Narcotics were found in his backpack. The man was unable to produce any identity documents. He was escorted to his place of residence, where he identified himself as S. J. (1961) by means of a diplomatic passport.”
S.J being Szájer, József. Born in 1961.
The PPO statement also adds that a police report was drawn up for “non-compliance with measures relating to the COVID-19 pandemic” for all those present, as well as for “violation of narcotics legislation” for Szájer.
Resignation came after the incident
Szájer announced on Sunday, without any warning, that he would resign from his post as MEP. He wrote that participating in the daily political struggle was an increasing mental strain on him. “Those who are on the battlefield must be in a state of combat,” Szájer wrote.
The Hungarian politician had been one of the authors of the country’s controversial constitution in 2010. It attracted criticism from human rights activists who pointed to the text creating a hostile environment for LGBT+ community.
Recently, the government proposed a ban on same-sex adoption.
Coronavirus restrictions in Brussels include a curfew from 22h-6h, and a social bubble of one, although outdoor gatherings of four people are allowed.
The European Parliament press service told Euronews they had not been contacted by the Belgian authorities about the incident. They added that if an MEP had broken lockdown rules, then it is up to Belgian authorities to deal with the matter.
Mistress Snow only makes $30,000 a year as an adjunct professor—so she’s been forced to take a very different job on the side. She opens up about balancing teaching and BDSM.
USA – When you think of a college professor, you don’t usually think of a dominatrix. And, you also don’t usually think of someone who is so underpaid that they don’t know how they’re going to afford rent or groceries. However, due to college administrators’ relentless drive to cut labor costs via outsourcing college instruction to freelance “contingent faculty,” the latter is increasingly common. And for that reason, at least one professor—whom we’ll meet soon—has taken up BDSM as a side job.
More than half of all college professors are now “adjuncts”: part-time freelance instructors who often have the same PhDs as their tenured and full-time colleagues, but who get paid low amounts on a per-course basis, with few or no benefits and little job security. Typically, adjuncts (also known as “contingent faculty”) string together gigs at multiple colleges, which pay an average of $3,984 per course. Three courses a semester, or six per year, is considered a full teaching load—though many adjuncts report it’s difficult to get this many courses—which comes out to a typical yearly income of $23,904 for the “lucky” adjuncts with a full-time-equivalent teaching load.
For reference, full-time baristas at Starbucks make an average of $27,030 per year, and are eligible for benefits including health insurance, dental, vision, 401(k), paid time off, parental leave, and even emergency financial assistance during family crises; adjunct professors typically receive noneof these benefits.
So, many adjunct professors now find themselves needing to find significant side-work to stay afloat within academia. I came across the lively Twitter feed of Mistress Snow, PhD, whose bio reads, “Professor by day, pro-Domme by night—let me teach you a lesson.”
Last December, Mistress Snow—who says her field is in the humanities—wrote a personal essay for the Chronicle of Higher Education, entitled “I Told My Mentor I Was a Dominatrix: She Rescinded Her Letter of Recommendation.” The summer before the article came out, she found herself without a teaching gig—which is common for adjuncts. “I had about a week to cobble together a couple grand before rent was due,” she writes. “The clock kept ticking; there was no lifeboat in sight. I was hungry. So I swallowed my pride, reluctantly dusted off my corset, and dialed up the old dungeon. By the end of the week, I was back in the sex trade, beating, humiliating, and degrading men (and sometimes women) for $90 an hour, plus tips.”
Mistress Snow refers to her mentor by the pseudonym “Anne” in the Chronicle article. Having developed a close personal bond with Anne over seven years—and thinking Anne would be supportive, as she worked on class and labor issues in her research—Mistress Snow decided to divulge her secret to Anne. To Mistress Snow’s surprise, Anne took it horribly, telling her, “Academia and sex work are mutually exclusive.” In an email that Mistress Snow shared with me, Anne wrote to her: “If this information comes out in any way, shape, or form, it will destroy your academic prospects… In the age of FB and everything being on the internet, you don’t want this out there—ever. This is what I mean about blowing up the part of your life that matters most. You will lose all credibility. Time to stop.”
Strangely, after expressing this concern, Anne then tried to ensure Mistress Snow wouldn’t have an academic career by rescinding her letters of recommendation, which are the main currency of academic job searches.
I had the opportunity to interview Mistress Snow recently via Zoom about juggling two very different jobs.
Why do you think your mentor felt that using your sexuality to support yourself was “mutually exclusive” in relation to academia?
It’s totally hypocritical, because faculty regularly encourage women to use our sexuality to pursue the life of the mind. An academic job mentor I was randomly assigned once—it was someone other than Anne—said to me, “Make sure you bring ‘fuck-me’ boots to the interview.” The amount of preparation I have to go through every time I have a job interview! “Is this too sexy?” “Is this too boring?” All of which has nothing to do with my academic research. It’s just another way of policing women’s bodies. Right before I told Anne about my work, I was teaching four classes, and only making about $30K a year from that. I needed more to pay my bills and student loans, so on top of teaching four days a week, I dommed three days a week. I was running each day from one campus to another, and then to the sex dungeon. I would get home from the dungeon at 2 a.m., and then I’d have to go teach an 8 a.m. class. It was a nightmare. I would be shaking. I couldn’t see straight. My contacts would fall out of my eyeballs because my eyes were so dry. The body is very much necessary for the life of the mind; if the needs of the body are ignored, the mind can’t do its work.
Shaming adjuncts for using their bodies to make money is actually a way of shaming and weeding out adjuncts from poorer backgrounds, who don’t have family support and have to take second and third jobs. A second job for an adjunct needs to be highly flexible, due to our teaching schedule—it’s not going to be some consistent office job. Most flexible jobs rely heavily on the body—such as waiting tables, retail, bartending, or sex work. I think there’s this fantasy that many academics have, that their mentees are little carbon copies of them. When I started doing something with my body that my mentor found so repulsive, she had to distance herself as much as she could.
Why do you think your academic mentor had such a problem with you domming?
I can read it for you [laughs]. Here’s a snippet from one of the last emails Anne wrote to me:
“About sex work—well, there are many arguments in favor of legalizing sex work and for accepting it, on the grounds that it is often between consenting adults (though very often not), that people have a right to experiment sexually, and that sex workers have a right to be paid fairly, etc. I understand that those arguments exist, but I am not going to make them because I mainly don’t believe in them… Money is always nice to have, but it doesn’t sound to me like this is about the money. It strikes me as being an outcome of being sexually abused, and an attempt to take back agency while also expressing your anger. Is that really what you need to do?”
Where do I even start? First of all, if it’s not between consenting adults, then that precludes it from being sex work, bitch. Then it’s trafficking; it’s not work. Then there’s her line about having a “right to experiment sexually.” Again, she’s not perceiving sex work as work. As if this is just about sexual experimentation for me, not about money. I don’t see it as experimenting with my sexuality at all, because it’s not about my sexuality; it’s about paying rent. Even if my client is getting off, I’m at work, and it has nothing to do with my own sex life. It’s not like I’m sitting there thinking, “Man, I wonder what it feels like for someone to suck on my toes. I’m going to go down to the dungeon and find some random dude to suck my toes and try it out.”
Then there’s her line, “Money is nice to have, but it doesn’t sound to me like this is about the money.” Like most tenured faculty, Anne is a boomer. She went to college and got her PhD decades ago, when college was comparatively cheap, before there were the mountains of student debt we now have, and before the whole adjunctification trend really started. She has no idea what it’s like to try to live as a contingent faculty member with no benefits, hustling teaching gigs semester by semester, paying down six figures of student debt, on $30K a year.I make way more money per hour *playing* a professor in the dungeon than being one in real life.
Did you do sex work before you were an adjunct?
Yes. The summer between college and graduate school, I was working retail. I was able to afford cereal and shit, but not, like, dinner. So I was going on two dates a day—lunch dates and dinner dates—just to get the free meals. At a certain point, I was like, “I’d rather just have the cash than the meals with these guys.”
When I got to graduate school, I tried to find a dungeon to start working in, but there weren’t any I could find in the city. I started doing some independent work, but then I had a really violent client, whom I didn’t screen properly, and I was like, “Fuck this shit, I’m done.” I stopped domming, maybe my second or third year in grad school. I picked it up again in the summer of last year. I needed cash ASAP. I started domming independently again because I didn’t have time to start in a dungeon, but I got into a dungeon after about a month.
What’s your specialty? Did you train formally in BDSM?
I shadowed more experienced Dommes. Some clients like being watched, so it works out. But there are so many Dommes, typically younger ones, who will go into sessions thinking, “Fake it till you make it!” Which is fine… if you’re not dilating someone’s urethra, or trying to give an enema. I didn’t give an enema until I watched several other people give enemas. [laughs]
My specialty is corporal punishment: flogging, caning, paddling. The thing I really like about corporal sessions is that, for me, the adrenaline rush is far greater than with, for example, a humiliation session. It’s fun to flog the shit out of someone. I was domming at the dungeon right up until the pandemic started. Since then, I’ve been doing a bit of online and phone work. And I still teach my college classes virtually.The thing I really like about corporal sessions is that, for me, the adrenaline rush is far greater than with, for example, a humiliation session. It’s fun to flog the shit out of someone.
Have you ever had a close call, like a student of yours or a colleague walking into the dungeon?
No, fortunately not. I’ve definitely had recognizable academics as clients though. It pisses me off. These men aren’t going to face any repercussions for coming to pay me in the dungeon. But I could get fired from my academic job for taking their money.
Do your clients know you’re a professor? And do you ever do professor/student role-plays with your clients in sessions?
Yes, I sometimes tell clients I’m a professor beforehand if I think it’ll be a selling point. Some of them are really into the professor/student role-plays. And it’s always so awkward, because all I can think of is how unethical this would be if I was actually doing it in real life. But we’re in a dungeon, so I’m like, “Fuck it.” I make way more money per hour playing a professor in the dungeon than being one in real life.
What do you think is the psychology of a guy who fantasizes about a professor dominating him?
A lot of the men who come to see me have a desire to feel vulnerable and to feel like women have institutional power over them. For many successful men, the last time they had a woman wield institutional power over them was probably in school. Teachers already get so much parental shit projected onto them—which I say because I have a strong theoretical background in psychoanalysis. These dynamics make sense to me.
Dozens—maybe even hundreds—of sex workers in academia wrote to me. A few were adjuncts, but most were graduate students, and some had left academia. Dominatrixes, strippers, escorts. On the one hand, it didn’t surprise me, because not just some, but most of the Dommes at my dungeon were grad students. On the other, it did surprise me, because I felt quite isolated as a sex-working academic and could have used this kind of community. I had one academic I deeply admire write to me and say, “I don’t even know you, but if you want me to write you a letter of recommendation, I’m happy to, because this is bullshit.” Coincidentally, she had actually been my professor in college, which made the connection far more realistic.
The best thing to come from the article is that I feel like adjuncts, who consistently hold our tongues for as long as we can hold out hope for an academic career, can talk more honestly about the exploitation of our labor. If this profession has any hope of surviving after the havoc that’s been wreaked upon it over the past twenty years, these are the conversations we need to be having. And I’d like to say that my platform has helped to destigmatize sex work, but there were already so many brilliant sex workers organizing and educating before I came on the scene, and we should be listening to them regardless of whether they have a degree after their name.
USA – Disgraced Reverand Peter Miqueli was accused of stealing church money to pay for $1,000-a-go sex romps with a bodybuilding BDSM master who made him drink his urine
A party-loving sex slave priest accused of embezzling $1 million (£775k) from his church on a bondage “master” so he could drink his urine has died of alcohol abuse.
The disgraced Reverend Peter Miqueli, 57, was found dead at his New Jersey home in July, four years after he resigned from his role when parishioners sued him for stealing their money.
They claimed he used their donations to pay his BDSM master, Keith Crist, for $1000 (£749)-a-pop sordid romps.
The lawsuit was not resolved but he was cleared of wrongdoing by The Bronx District Attorney’s Office.
Churchgoers claimed Miqueli blew $60,000 (£44,949) of the stolen funds on ”illicit and prescription drugs”.
He also allegedly used the cash to buy his $264,000 (£198k) home and to pay Crist’s rent for his apartment.
In a civil suit, it was revealed that the sex loving master would force Father Maqueli to drink his urine.
The priest stepped down and was suspended by the Archdiocese of New York three years later.
New York Daily News reported that the results of the disgraced clergyman’s autopsy revealed he died of arrhythmia due to occlusive coronary heart disease associated with severe cardiomyopathy.
The condition is often caused by excessive drinking.
Coroners also noted a “massive liver steatosis consistent with chronic alcohol abuse,” the Daily Mail reported.
Filed in 2015, the lawsuit against Miqueli claimed that he used stolen cash – some of which was donated for a new church organ – to fund his sex sessions and go on holidays to Europe.
He is said to have paid Crist to go to his house in New Jersey for sessions.
In text messages to his ex-girlfriend, Crist called the priest a “clueless a**hole” and said he was paying his rent.
He said he wanted to be publicly humiliated by him, laughed at and degraded.
It’s unclear if Miqueli was living with anyone when he died.
USA – ICYMI: BDSM stands for bondage and discipline, domination and submission, and sadism and masochism. This is where the whole dominant (sometimes called a “top”) and submissive (a “bottom”) dynamic comes into play.
“A top is simply someone who leads/guides the scene and the bottom is there to receive the experience,” explains Mistress Rogue, professional dominatrix and headmistress of The Dom House. (The dominant and submissive terms can also be used when there’s a power dynamic as well.)
And while you might be most familiar with what a dominant and submissive do, there’s another term you might not be as familiar with: a switch. Let’s dive deeper.
What is a BDSM switch?
A BDSM switch is someone who goes back and forth between dominating and being submissive, says Rogue. The dynamic change depends on the mood, circumstances, and the vibe between the partners, she adds.
And while the term is used commonly in the BDSM community, it’s important to note that switching—just like being dominant or submissive—isn’t always sexual. It’s merely about an exchange of power, which could be anything from doing chores to consensually ordering your partner around. What’s done in the bedroom is like an ~added~ bonus.
How do you know if you’re a switch?
If you’re wondering whether or not you’re a switch, the answer is actually pretty simple: Just think about what turns you on.
If sometimes you feel more eager to take control in the bedroom (e.g. riding your partner, tying them up, etc.), and other times the idea of your partner running the show (e.g. spanking you, tying you up, or just managing the positions) sounds better, there’s a good chance you’re a switch, says Rogue.
If you’re still unsure, chatting with your partner(s) can help you figure it out. “It’s about being honest with yourself and with your partners so that you both are receiving as much pleasure from the interaction as the other,” says Florida department of health sexual health educator, Jasmine Akins. “As long as you have partner communication and honesty, you should be able to self-identify.”
What are the perks of switching?
The most obvious perk of switching is having the opportunity to play in different ways with potentially different partners. Not only will it give you more chances for connection (and uh, orgasms), but it will also give you a more well-rounded perspective, which can make you an even better dominant or submissive.
“The best dominants often start as subs and then find their way up to being a top or a dom,” says Rogue. “In fact, this was how I became a dominatrix. I was introduced to BDSM by a dominant, and I learned and built skills knowing what I wanted as a bottom, so I could become a better dom.”
In addition to honing your skills, switching can also be majorly liberating in a mental sense. You can explore different head spaces and free yourself from playing the role you think you have to play during sex, says Akins. This can aid in communication, decrease boredom, and stimulate creativity.
Are there any downsides or risks?
The major concern with switching—other than becoming addicted to it, lol— is making sure everyone is continuously onboard and you’re practicing safely. “Being a switch means learning double safety information for BDSM practices. Keeping everything SSC (safe, sane and consensual) is vital,” she explains.
Any BDSM play can involve risks, which is why things like constant consent and safe words are integral. Partner communication is vital in any sexual situation, but especially if you’re adding some new kinks to the mix.
Finally, just like with any sort of sexual activity, reducing the risk of STI transmission is always essential. “You should be tested whenever you have a new partner, and if you’re in a monogamous relationship, I recommend testing at least once a year,” advises Akins. Utilizing barrier methods is a smart idea for some forms of BDSM play where penetration or fluid exchange is involved.
Now, here’s how to try switching for the first time
If you think you might like to switch up the power dynamics in the bedroom, don’t be afraid to explore those desires, even if they seem like a curveball in your relationship.
“The first step is being interested in it, so don’t feel like you have to be the BDSM king or queen the very first time,” says Akins. “Do your research and ask questions.”
Both experts agree: Educating yourself is key to a successful switch. And luckily, there are tons of resources out there to get you started—just don’t reach for Christan and Ana’s story as a guidebook.
And if your research leads you to believe switching might be for you, let your partner know. While it might seem hot to spring it on them mid-session, it’s actually important to talk things out ahead of time so you’re both on the same page.
Plus, you will need consent to test out a new dynamic. You never know what triggers someone might have, or what emotions might be stirred up within yourself, so communicating throughout (and checking in with yourself) is vital.
Then when it comes time to go at it, take things extra slow.
“If you’re a newbie, feel free to ease into it. You can start with a simple blindfold to heat things up. As you get more comfortable with the idea, you can expand your play options with yourself and with your partner,” suggests Akins.
“The [desire] may develop [or deteriorate] over time, and since this will probably be a pretty different experience for both of you, don’t expect to know right away whether you like the dynamic or not. “It’s okay to try new things, and it’s okay to absolutely adore them or hate them,” Akins says. “It’s your body, and you have the final say. Always.”
WORLD – A kink is broadly defined as an act or desire that falls outside of the widely accepted normative ideas of vanilla sexual practices—everything from choking, to BDSM (bondage/discipline, dominate/submissive, sadomasochism/masochism), to cuckolding,foot fetishes, water sports, bondage, and more.
And as you can see, there are tonnns of elements that fall within its sexual realm.
But even though nearly 61 percent of Cosmo readers say they’ve dabbled in some form of BDSM play, there still remains some societal stigma and shame for wanting to be adventurous in and out of the bedroom.
This is exactly what we don’t want, fam. Because being sexually adventurous (in whatever way that means to you) is completely healthy and normal. In fact, it’s highly encouraged in an effort to prioritize your pleasure and what feels good to you.
So if you’re looking to expand your sexual taste—or just see what is out there— sometimes turning to a dating app is the best and easiest way to explore. And whether you’re just looking to spice up your online dating game or you’re fully a master in BDSM practices already, here are six kinky apps to help jump-start your experience.
When it comes to exploring BDSM and kink in general, FetLife is the go-to for these kinds of activities. (The Canadian-based company literally describes itself as being like “Facebook but run by kinksters.”)
Similarly to other social media platforms, users can create profiles, interact and “Friend” other members, post pics, vids, status updates, and join more specific groups based on sexual interests and kinks. Trust me when I say the free website really allows you to cater your kink experience and find exactly what you want—whatever that may be.
If you’re looking for a dating app more fetish-specific (think: feet, voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc.), Kinkoo may be the best one for you. In your profile, you can indicate what you’re looking for and how you’d describe yourself, like, say, if you are more of a submissive or dominant. Match with people all around the world for free or upgrade to the VIP membership for $16 per month.
Okay, so the app is pretty clever—I mean, its name doesn’t exactly disguise what the app is intended for, lol. But once you sign up, users are free to choose from a list of over 230 kinks (230!) to add to their profile. The free app also features a chat, video, and call component, similarly to what you may experience on a more mainstream dating app. Use it to find a virtual playmate or to chat it up with other kinksters across the globe.
Another app geared toward the fetish community, Kink D is a super sex-positive space for those looking to explore. Whether you’re into BDSM, foot fetishes, or whatever else, odds are, you’ll find a willing partner here. It’s free to download, has a super user-friendly interface, and can help you connect with singles all over.
Kinki prides themselves on being super inclusive, especially for folks apart of the LGBTQ+ community. The app, which costs $12 per month, gives you a range of options to pick from in terms of both fetishes and what you’re looking for (whether it be long-term, short-term, or just a hookup.) It also authenticates people’s accounts, gives you filters to search by location, and allows you to Like photos of people as well.
Unfortunately it’s not in U.S. markets quite yet, so this one’s for all of you outside the states.
This platform offers a tonnnn of options for gender identity and sexual orientation. And while Feeld has gotten some buzz primarily for those interested in threesomes, it’s also super friendly to those in polyamorous relationships or looking to explore a more kink-friendly lifestyle. If you’re into just dipping a toe into the BDSM waters, this free app is a great sex-positive place to get started.
Oh, and if you want to explore even more sexy BDSM fun, check out Cosmo’s Fantasy Sex Games. It’s the ultimate guide to exploring sexy role-playing scenarios, including NSFW sexcessories, new positions, and even a yes/no/maybe list to play with your partner.
UK-STAFFORDSHIRE – An urban explorer stumbled across dungeons, BDSM tables, wigs and old stilettos at an abandoned swingers club.
Dom Jennings, 29, from Stoke-on-Trent, has visited dozens of old buildings, including Utopia – an old swingers club in Staffordshire – and began taking pictures of the sites as a hobby during lockdown.
While exploring the venue he came across a salt bath, caged rooms, membership forms of those who visited the club, stilettos, wigs and BDSM apparatus.
Utopia was closed in 2007, and boasted a swimming pool, jacuzzi and sauna room along with a host of private rooms for guests to enjoy each others company in.
Father-of-two Dom said: ‘I started exploring in my spare time as something to pass the time during lockdown.
‘I’ve always had an interest in it and when I learnt about this building, I quickly made my way to it to see what I could find.
‘It was really creepy to walk around, the whole place was falling down and I could see all these different X-rated rooms, god knows what went on here.
‘I stumbled across wigs, and what I think were sex dungeons, they were little rooms with caged entrances and they looked like jails.
‘I did some research and found the name out, it closed a while ago and at one point caught fire and has been left alone since.
‘I came across a BDSM table which I opted not to touch because of who had probably touched it in the past, the whole place was like a museum to its former self.
‘The most interesting thing I found was the membership forms. The rules stated that all recording equipment was banned and you had to confirm you were not working for the media.
‘I’m guessing the last thing these members wanted was anyone reporting on what was happening inside, which does make me wonder what they were getting up to, and who came here.
When Dom posted the images online, along with a photo of the member forms, it still had the details of one man who joined the club on it.
Dom, said: ‘A man messaged me on Facebook and asked me to take it down immediately because it showed his name.’
Speaking about the swimming pool on the premises Dom added: ‘It had a really eerie feel, but everything looks expensive and the pool was huge, although I’m not sure I would want to swim in it myself.’
USA-DENVER – The pandemic is giving Denver’s BDSM community a flogging — and not the fun kind, says Denver dominatrix Elle, co-owner of Mile High Dungeon, which has closed because of both safety concerns and economic challenges.
While other businesses have found some government relief, Elle says that her operation, though legal, is excluded from federal financial support programs. COVID-relief loans and grants are not available for businesses that are “prurient,” according to most application guidelines.
Now, people in the erotic industry are negotiating an impossible bind: whether to keep operating at risk of spreading the virus, or shut down temporarily and possibly lose their employment permanently.
Elle has been a sex worker for the past 21 years. It’s her calling, she says, and she hopes to hang up her thigh–highs and retire as a professional dominatrix when she hits 65 — if COVID-19 doesn’t continue to wreck her professional plans and eat up decades of savings, strapping her with debt.
Her story, which parallels those of many working in the legal sex industry and even underground, is one of liberation. “Through the work I did, I was able to get on my feet and do something amazing and become a healthy, thriving person,” she says.
While the religious right and prudish politicians have targeted sex workers, prostitutes and the publications that advertise their services, Elle insists that the sex-slavery stereotype they’re crusading against is hardly an accurate depiction of her world. And she should know: Not only has she offered her own services as a pro-dom, but she’s been an outspoken advocate for sex workers’ rights nationally as well as in Denver.
She and other dominatrixes opened the Mile High Dungeon five years ago. There, Elle taught clients about the BDSM lifestyle, consent and scene negotiation. She helped people explore their kinks, and even worked in conjunction with therapists to guide their patients in addressing childhood traumas. She’s been part healer, part educator, part kink provider. The experience was transformative, she says, both for the people she dominated and for herself.
Back in February, after watching news reports of the coronavirus upending life in Wuhan, China, Elle worried it might come stateside. So Mile High Dungeon shut down operations, with hopes of reopening in a few weeks. Weeks later, the state implemented a stay-at-home order, and the coronavirus has been flagellating the physical and economic health of people in the United States ever since.
Even as other businesses reopened, the dungeon stayed dark.
While Elle has worked with a couple of customers, observing strict mask-wearing and sanitation measures, she has largely avoided appointments. That hasn’t just hurt her bank account, but clients: Inexperienced people inclined toward bondage, domination and sado-masochism need an outlet and a proper schooling in boundaries and negotiation, she says, so that their sexual desires — often mired in shame and taboo — don’t land them in trouble.
njoyed sex workers’ services. Democrats and Republicans alike have gone after the industry, so the likelihood of a political solution is improbable.
Now, with COVID-19 cases breaking records again in Colorado, Elle realizes that reopening Mile High Dungeon anytime soon isn’t feasible, so she’s reassessing how to move forward until a vaccine becomes available.
It’s not just sex workers who are being hit. The entire BDSM scene, which relies heavily on social gatherings, is struggling. Christine Winnie Wenglewick, owner of the Denver Sanctuary, a dungeon and social club, says that old-timers in the BDSM community have largely stepped back from play parties — or they’re holding private gatherings in their homes. Newcomers who show up to her club’s events, which are operated under rigid social-distancing guidelines that are not exactly conducive to community romps and stomps, are often left wondering what the point is of paying for a party when no more than twenty people are allowed in at a time.
COVID has delivered Wenglewick a double whammy because she also owns Denver’s Dangerous Theatre. Like every performing arts venue, it’s suffered during the pandemic. And Wenglewick’s strategy for covering the cost of her underground plays — funding them with proceeds from the Denver Sanctuary — is now failing.
Long before getting involved with BDSM, Wenglewick was active in the theater scene. In Orlando, she ran a space that served as both a hair salon and performance venue. Shortly after moving to Colorado in 2001 to be near her ex-partner and child, she stumbled into the kink scene and found a second home.
Wanting to introduce newbies to the lifestyle, she started a meetup and play party called Gateway. The group started out meeting at people’s homes, but soon outgrew those and needed a larger spot. Wenglewick asked the now-defunct Denver Harbor, a BDSM club, if she could hold Gateway parties for newcomers there, and the owners agreed. Three months later, they came up short on rent money and asked Wenglewick if she wanted to take over the warehouse dungeon. At first she was hesitant, but then she realized that she could eventually use the space for experimental theater performances in the early evening hours and transform it into a late-night place for sexual exploration.
In 2007, she launched Dangerous Theatre out of her dungeon. She’s produced more than thirty experimental plays there and also hosted hundreds of workshops, BDSM parties and gatherings where people into kink built community.
“It’s not been a conventional business plan,” Wenglewick says. “But up until COVID, it was one that worked.”
Like most businesses, the Denver Sanctuary and Dangerous Theatre both shut down in mid-March. A sole proprietor, Wenglewick did not consider applying for various small business or arts grants or loans. She was closeted about how the theater and dungeon shared a warehouse, and says she was afraid that potential funders looking at her books would wonder how a small theater that seats no more than fifty could be making so much money.
But not anymore. With both businesses shuttered for months, she found herself $12,000 behind in rent. If she cannot pay that debt by the end of the year, her landlord will give her the boot.
“I can’t fault her too much,” says Wenglewick. “I can’t fault any landlord who lets a dungeon in her space to begin with.”
To raise rent money, Wenglewick has offered some demonstrations and classes in consent and scene negotiation, BDSM 101 and more — though she only charges $10 a pop, hardly enough to pay what she owes. In normal times, the Denver Sanctuary would be hosting workshops in every manner of BDSM play. Now the only hands-on activity that can be done with COVID-19 precautions in place is fire play: teaching people how to light each other on fire…safely.
Dangerous Theatre has also been hosting a handful of productions, from comedy nights to more traditional plays. And now, as Denver again clamps down on capacity, Wenglewick is shifting much of her theatrical work online and streaming shows.
In the weeks to come, she’ll be performing Drunk Storytime With Caroline, during which she’ll get drunk and act out various popular children’s stories, including Dr. Seuss tales and “The True Story of the Three Little Pigs”; she’ll also host virtual comedy, kink nights and more.
“Every time I make a business plan, two weeks later [I realize], ‘Oh, that ain’t going to work,’” she says. “I’m constantly having to readjust.”
Some members know that the Denver Sanctuary is on the verge of being kicked out, and wonder if Wenglewick will try to reopen the club elsewhere. “People are like, ‘Are you going to find another space?,’” she says. “I say no. I’m not going to find another landlord who’s into this stuff. If I were to take another business somewhere, it would be opening another theater, not opening another dungeon.
But even doing that seems uncertain without a vaccine. “Given COVID, I don’t know the reality of opening another theater,” she admits, adding that at least her cosmetology license is up to date, so “I could always go back to hair.”
As Elle packs up the Mile High Dungeon that she and her fellow doms built, she’s been thinking about how sex work has given her so much personally and taught her about the world. “I was standing in my studio the last couple of nights, because I’m saying goodbye,” she says. “I’m thinking back on all the different things I’ve witnessed and the people I’ve worked with.
“I’ve learned so much about myself and humanity and life,” she says. “It’s really powerful work, and I hope one day our culture can acknowledge it for what it is.”
UK – Channel 5’s Adults Only viewers were shocked as dominatrix Jenny explained what her clients ask her for in her steamy sessions.
Jenny showed her friend Mistress Sofia her array of sex toys and torture devices including a paddle, whips, and a breath play mask.
“What do you do most of?” asked Mistress Sofia.
Jenny replied: “Whipping, a lot of breath play, sitting on them, some just like to be sat on, they like to feel the weight.
“I had this one guy, 84 years old, bless his heart, he was a real frail old man, must have weighed about eight stone, I’m 19 [stone].
“His fantasy was to struggle under the weight of a big woman, but when he started to really struggle for breath I thought, “Oh I’d better roll off now!’
“A**e worship that is my biggest thing, they like to get on their knees and like me to push their faces against the wall, and squash them with my big a**e.”
She continued: “I get this 72-year-old come in for electrocution on his nipples, on his b****nd, on his b**s and one up his a**e, and I control the voltage.
“I’m usually a bit wicked and I pinch the end of his b****nd at the same time, he screams! That’d make you dance!”
One stunned viewer tweeted: “I honestly don’t know who would pay for that! #AdultsOnly “.
“What 72! dirty old git… Electrocution……” remarked another.
A third wondered: “Watching this #adultsonly programme.. anyone want to pay me to do weird stuff?”
Mistress Sofia recently appeared on This Morning, where she told hosts Holly Willoughby and Phil Schofield: “There are so many different aspects to it, some [clients] could want punishment, some want to be dressed in a beautiful little maid’s outfit, some just want to be submissive, they want to be humiliated.
Some do it because it’s a little quirk, for others it’s a need, they need to be submissive, in their home lives they are not, they have high powered jobs.
“I have got everyone from judges down to dustman, it doesn’t matter what your lifestyle is, if it’s in you it’s in you to be submissive, and not all women want a submissive partner.”
* Adults Only is available to watch now on My5
See more larger photo’s and video on: Mirror.co.uk.
INDONESIA-JAKARTA – A former student of Airlangga University (Unair) accused of sexually assaulting multiple victims after tricking them into helping him for academic “research” is facing multiple charges at the Surabaya District Court in East Java.
In a hearing held virtually on Wednesday, prosecutors indicted the 22-year-old defendant, identified only as Gilang, with three different charges.
Prosecutor I Gede Willy said Gilang had violated articles 27 and 45 of the 2016 Electronic Information and Transactions (ITE) Law, which prohibits individuals from sharing videos or other electronic information containing extortion or threats.
Gilang was also charged under Article 82 of the 2016 law on child protection for allegedly threatening minors into performing obscene acts and Article 289 of the Criminal Code on obscenity, which carries a maximum sentence of nine years in prison.
The defendant did not file an exception request against the charges.
His case gained nationwide attention in August after several victims took to Twitter to share their alleged accounts of being tricked by Gilang into performing an act referred to as “bondage mummification” under the pretense of academic research.
One user with the handle @m_fikris wrote that he and his friend agreed to participate in his thesis “research” about “wrapping” in July after Gilang persistently begged him, saying he was at risk of failing his studies for not finishing his thesis. The defendant was in his fifth year of university at that time.
Gilang reportedly sent instructions for @m_fikris and his friend to take turns covering each other’s bodies, including their mouths and eyes, with duct tape. He also instructed them to wrap their bodies in jarik (traditional Javanese cloth) and later asked them to record the process and to send him the footage afterward.
Another victim who spoke to The Jakarta Post said that when they were both university freshmen, the defendant had drugged him, covered his entire body with a blanket and groped him when he was sleeping at Gilang’s rooming house after a university event in 2015.
Unair expelled Gilang shortly after the case went viral.
The defendant told police investigators that he had conducted such actions since 2015, claiming that he developed the fetish as a child.(nal)
USA – Mistress Iris, 32, is a dominatrix from Japan who is an expert in satisfying men’s urges. She lives in LA where she educates the public about the inner workings of BDSM.
A dominatrix has lifted the lid on her kinky line of work.
Mistress Iris, 32, who is from Japan but lives in LA, US, is an expert in satisfying men’s urges.
She educates about the inner workings of BDSM as she offers men a safe place to explore their sexual power dynamics.
Speaking about the dark secrets of her trade, Mistress Iris said: “Much of sex is about power.
“But so is much of everyday life – power suffuses all our interactions and leaves its dirty paw prints all over the place.
“Submission and domination are ways to directly confront, acknowledge and playfully embrace the reality of these power dynamics.”
She added: “Nowadays, we’re in denial about the workings of power but we’re lots more open about sex.
“So it makes sense to draw more attention to the way power works.”
The dominatrix also enjoys educating the public about the inner workings of BDSM.
Her latest project and collaboration with Vixen Media Group’s (VMG) Deeper brand is a short film.
It explores the culture of femme dom/domme and subs called “Interview”.
Produced by director Kayden Kross, the video gives an unflinching insight to the psychological side of human sexuality.
Mistress Iris continued: “I have seen all too many times how many men are in need of a safe space to conduct that exploration.
“Men require help to access and express vulnerable feelings that they’ve been implicitly or explicitly taught to seal tightly inside them.”
And she believes that 9-5 jobs are hotbeds of suppressed kink.
She revealed: “It’s a setting for those raised to feel that one’s success is the most important factor in determining societal value.”
It also happens that workplace scenarios are very popular among clients.
She detailed: “The job interview role play is one of the most frequently requested scenarios in femdom.
“The moment in which you face a person who has the power to make your life more valuable, or make you a ‘failure’.
“For some, it’s one of the most vulnerable moments and consequently, suffused with power and ripe for sexual exploration.”
Since the coronavirus pandemic, the sex industry has been forced to find new ways of working.
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