Analysis of 160million Google searches revealed the growth and decline across more than 100 key kinky words over the last five years.
The five highest trending words included ‘findom’ – financial domination, where one gains pleasure from controlling another’s finances, and ‘thirst trap’ – where someone posts content with the intention of being desired.
But the most popular search term was ‘gooning’ – the act of achieving prolonged arousal through sensory overload, often involving hypnotic stimuli.
The findings – authored by Rachel Thompson, a leading sex and relationship expert and commissioned by Sensuali a sex positive platform for sensualists- also showed the word dogging was in decline over the past five years as a kink, with searches for ‘foreplay’ showing the most dramatic fall across the same period.
SOUTH KOREA – SEOUL – Awoman with a bullwhip spanking the exposed backside of a man clad in bondage. The man sitting on his bare knees, held on a leash by the woman wearing a black leather miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and ankle boots. The man and woman surrounded by partygoers with glittering eyes in a dark space. Sex toys like handcuffs and butt plugs hanging from the ceiling of the DJ booth. These are just some tableaus from a BDSM (bondage, dominance, submission, and masochism—a type of sexual behavior) party held in Seoul, South Korea last June.
See more larger photo’s and audio transcript on: Vice.com.
The Sins party known for its BDSM shows has been a staple event since it was launched by party organizer Shade Seoul in 2018. The “inclusive DJ and party label” according to its X account, hosts a range of parties—from its mother party Shade, it also has Glow, Femme, and Sins, each with a different musical genre and theme. The Sins party is the much darker version, featuring harder beats and sexually explicit performances. Held almost every other month, it invites people to explore BDSM and release their sexual energy.
You’ll often hear people refer to these interests as sexual kinks or fetishes, but what exactly are fetishes and sexual kinks? And why do people have them?
Sex therapist, Kelifern Pomeranz, PsyD, says that all fetishes are kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes. A fetish is a sexual attraction to inanimate objects, body parts, or situations not commonly viewed as being sexual in nature, [while] a kink is a broader term that includes a variety of sexual interests, behaviours, preferences, and fantasies that are thought to be outside of the mainstream.
UK – The flamboyant, fashionable and hugely divisive And Just Like That is returning to our screens for a second season, with the Sex and the City reboot promising more dates and double entendres for Carrie Bradshaw and co.
See more and larger photo’s from older woman in this story on: Metro.co.uk.
No longer those four single girls in their thirties, Carrie (recently widowed and ready to get back in the saddle, if those teasers are to be believed) and her ensemble of friends are navigating what life, love – and most importantly, sex – holds for them in their fifties.
Contrary to popular belief, the bedroom doesn’t begin to gather dust when you reach your fifth decade. Dating app Lumen finding people aged between 50-80 having sex once every fortnight on average – with 57% of respondents reporting their sex life, like a fine wine, had gotten better with age.
As we watch Carrie and her girlfriends explore the latest chapter of their lives, we couldn’t help but wonder…what does sex really look like for women in their fifties and beyond? Metro.co.uk spoke to four women to find out.
INDIA – The Shibari rope bondage technique is catching everyone’s attention for its potential to heal practitioners emotionally and give them an instant feel-good rush.
Two months ago, Indian celebrity travel blogger Shenaz Treasury dropped a video that showed her TIED up on her YouTube channel. The video, which went viral, asked viewers if they thought Treasury was into BDSM, an erotic practice featuring bondage, discipline, dominance and submission. A few minutes into the video, it was evident that it was a Japanese rope bondage practice used for emotional healing. Maksim Kalahari, a Shibari trainer, tells Treasury in Goa’s Morjim Beach that this energy when directed with a specific intention and the correct technique can heal the body, the mind and spirit.
That this practice is gaining ground is also evident from the fact that Kalahari hosted a two-day Shibari and impact play workshop last month in Goa. He called it a weekend filled with ropes, whips, sand, and the beautiful expanse of the ocean.
Shibari Study, a New York-based alternative healing entity, has also announced online app-based classes for Shibari. Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure, said Bob Marley. Shibari sounds like a painful way to find true bliss.
Shibari is known to have originated from Hojo-jutsu, a form of torture before it transformed into the erotic bondage Kinbaku (Kinbaku-bi translates as “the beauty of tight binding”) in the 20th century. However, because of the ‘kinky’ label, this art form has earned, not many yoga practitioners or teachers offer such healing nor promote it.
Ishrath Ikram, a Hyderabad-based online yoga trainer on Instagram (@yoga.and.uu), says that in the last three years since she has been active as an instructor, she has never come across any of her students asking about it or mention. “The three major misconceptions I want to clear are that not everyone is in it for the sex. It isn’t dangerous (unless you want it to be) and people who participate aren’t psychotic, demented, or otherwise damaged. Perhaps they are more explorative and adventurous.”
Dr Pramod Kulkarni, a consultant haematologist at Alpha Hospitals, Hyderabad, says that blood accumulation in one specific area can’t heal anyone, that too in such a short while. “I would think that Dhanurasana would perhaps give the same result. It is perhaps just another fun, kinky act that is getting popular. It has not been scientifically studied,” he adds. Those who have had a taste of it feel that it heals relationships and broken hearts by teachinag us to trust and surrender again.
Author and meditation teacher Mila Kriletich writes in her blog: “The release, the blood rushing back through tight limbs, the slow falling, the coming undone. With each knot untied, each rope loosened, something in me let go, broke free, moved away. By the time the ropes were off I was in what I could only describe as a state of samadhi. This is a bliss state where you are at one with the universe and all that is. I sat there for a long time and then I placed my arms around my knees and hugged myself. I tightened my grip and suddenly I was overcome with a sense of deep love and care and protection for myself. I had never experienced a moment like this before and I was overcome with a deep and abiding affection for myself.”
Naveena Kamath, a practicing psychologist with Disha Helpline in Bengaluru, says that pain when administered in a rationed and controlled way can lead to making one resilient and stronger. “When practitioners do this every week with discipline, it shows results at a psychological level. The act of tying up oneself and lying suspended horizontally is painful to the body. It is a novel workout for the body and mind. The rush of the blood and the position adds to its novelty,” she explains.
The process ✥ A professional Shibari master is necessary to tie one up. Alternately, some apps can show you how it’s tied. Ask a friend to do it ✥ Loosen limbs and arms, and warm up a bit ✥ The tying up involves intricate knotting with special rope available in yoga stores ✥ Hands are tied in front or back; the calves are tied together and the knees and thighs too. The knots are tied at various points tight enough that you can feel the rush of the blood, but not so much that you feel suffocated. Once the practitioner is ready, he/she is suspended horizontally from the rope tied to the ceiling using a hook. Most aerial yoga studios can provide such hooks. ✥ After 8-12 minutes, the ropes are untied gradually until you are free and feel relieved. The knots give a good blood rush to your brain and this is part of the healing/emotional outbursts. Those like Tejaswini Chada from Hyderabad who have experienced it say that tears rolled down their cheeks and it felt like ‘emptying’ oneself. There is a likelihood of the ropes create a mark on your skin as it is tightly wound around the body.
USA – Billboard singer & actor Lovari says there’s “No Holding Back”, like the title of his album, when it comes to those trying to shame him for his fetishes. In a bizarre Instagram rant, complete with hashtags of F**kYou, he shares an expletive laden story post condemning personal conversations of unnamed sources of people who allegedly belittled him about his desires and fetishes. The post includes a screenshot of a blog written by an assumed ex-lover, spilling details about their romantic experience with Lovari. Claiming that he “will not be shamed” and proclaiming to be a “freak and proud”, the singer then posted two s&m bondage photos of himself, photographed by renowned artist and activist Luna Ortiz, taken when Lovari was 18 years old. Reactions on the Instagram post were mixed. One user commented, “Nobody can shame you if you claim your own truth. You go boy!”, while others claimed the singer was “so desperate for attention”.
The shift in gears from a recurring National Anthem singer to provocateur was first seen last month, during a performance of his song “Keep It Moving” at Celebrity Boxing in Atlantic City. At one point, the singer gave the crowd the middle finger and then pointed it down towards his crotch.
This is not the first time that Lovari has promoted sensual themed projects. In 2015, he teamed up with former adult actress and television icon Robyn Byrd to record “Touch Me”, which reached the iTunes Electronic Chart. A year later, he co-produced two titles for adult film company Original Latino Fan Club. Later this year, his aforementioned song “Keep It Moving” will be featured in the #nude# themed comedy “Modest Male Exposure”. His most recent Instagram post mentions a forthcoming magazine interview with legendary erotic director Chi Chi LaRue, and an unnamed music video directed by another former renowned adult film director Brian Brennan.
USA – As she skillfully tied her partner onto a steel suspension tripod, Marceline V.Q. let her inspiration lead her. Using natural hemp ropes to recreate a scene from Michelangelo’s well-known fresco painting, The Creation of Adam, Marceline pondered every reaction her partner made, as the woman hung in midair.
Her partner’s arm stretched out to reach something powerful yet invisible. Smiling, with her eyes closed, she looked totally absorbed.
“Something I really adore is just the feeling of rope flowing through my hands,” Marceline said, gesturing to mimic the rope moving. “You get into a flow state.”
By day, Marceline, 26, is an engineering researcher and a physics Ph.D. By night, she is a rope bondage artist and educator. Her pseudonym, “Marceline V.Q.,” is adapted from the character “Marceline the Vampire Queen” in the cartoon series Adventure Time, as she wished to keep her academic life separate from her rope bondage gigs. She tries to constantly challenge the world of BDSM—bondage, domination, submission, and masochism—with aesthetic concepts and complex rope techniques.
“When I was starting out, the struggle for me was trying to show people who weren’t involved in this that rope bondage doesn’t have to always be about sex,” she said. Although for her, it is and it isn’t.
Before the pandemic hit, she was invited to perform and to teach a class called the “physics of ropes” all over the country. Combining her artistic and scientific skills, she uses geometry to inspire most of her rope bondage work.
“When creating rope bondage work, I’ll take the idea of translating a four-dimensional object into three dimensions,” she said. “I’m sort of turning off the analytical side of my brain and feeling more than thinking, in a lot of ways. That’s unusual for people doing very intense mental work.”
However, Marceline’s rope bondage experiences weren’t always artistic. Smiling shyly, she admitted the “epiphany” moment came when she was playing a game of “cops and robbers” with her friend when she was 10 years old. Tying her friend’s hands behind the back with a rope, Marceline had this exhilarating feeling of stepping back to appreciate her “artwork” and thinking she wanted to be part of it.
“I think people understand their sexuality a lot earlier than they realized,” she said.
Marceline began her rope bondage journey in 2014 when she found out about several BDSM subculture groups on FetLife, the social network for the BDSM and kink communities. There she discovered “kinkers,” who go beyond what are considered conventional sexual practices. They don’t “practice” rope bondage. They “play” it.
Rope bondage, or “shibari,” originated from the Japanese martial art of restraining captives and then transformed into erotic bondage in the late 19th century, according to the first English instruction book on Shibari. “Shibari is a Japanese form of sex play using rope restraint methods. It may or may not be sexual, but it is certainly centered around joy and delight and play,” said Midori, the acclaimed sexologist and author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage.“Even though most of the work I produced in rope doesn’t tend to be very sexual, I don’t want to completely separate myself from those origins, because that’s why we’re here today.”
The view of rope bondage has not been consistent over time. After studying in Japan for several months in 2017, Marceline says she noticed a slight shift in shibari communities. Some members started to consider rope bondage as art, which completely erased its “messy, dirty” history.
“Even though most of the work I produced in rope doesn’t tend to be very sexual, I don’t want to completely separate myself from those origins, because that’s why we’re here today,” Marceline said.
Midori also believes that learning rope bondage’s origin is essential. “Saying, ‘I am practicing this as art’ is pretentious,” said the sexologist, furiously. “It’s about elevating one’s own social prestige.”
Following the release of the erotic book Fifty Shades of Grey, kink subcultures gained mainstream momentum in 2011. Kink behaviors are common among adults in America, according to a 2017 study from Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion. More than 30 percent of those surveyed acknowledged they had engaged in spanking, more than 22 percent engaged in role-playing, and more than 20 percent engaged in rope bondage.
“Fifty Shades of Grey changed the way people view kink and opened up the conversation about consent,” said Susan Wright, the spokesperson of the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom (NCSF), a nonprofit organization that advocates for the sexual freedom of all adults.
Although a number of films and books have thrust BDSM into the realm of popular culture, rope bondage is still taboo for a lot of people. Some feminist activists expressed strong opposition. “I do not believe meaningful sexual liberation is achieved through replicating the same dominance-subordination dynamics of institutionalized male dominance,” said Caitlin Roper, a feminist activist and a Ph.D. candidate researching female-shaped sex dolls. “With an understanding of feminism as a collective movement to liberate women as a whole from patriarchal oppression, I do not believe there is a feminist case for male violence and degradation of women, even if some women consent to it or say they like it.”
In the past few years, the National Coalition of Sexual Freedom saw a rising number of female dominant and queer people in kink subcultures. Marceline has mixed views toward the use of gender in the interpretation of BDSM. “Feminism is about giving women the agency to decide what’s best for themselves. I am one of those women who finds sexual liberation in kink subcultures, but there’s certainly an opportunity for really shitty people to get involved in the scene and use that for their own purposes,” she explained.
Reclaiming rope bondage’s versatility in the modern context, Marceline now believes that kink subcultures can be both sexual and visceral. She enjoys the interplay between the physical posing and the emotional components of it.
“You can think of rope like an intimate massage, or you can think of rope like a workout or therapy,” she said. “It’s like dancing.”
EXCLUSIVE: Femme Fatale, an ambassador for the sexting platform Arousr, has discussed the most popular kinks and what they really mean about your personality
UK – The most popular fetishes have been revealed using Google Trends data, so which one are you into the most? MatressNextDay conducted the study and compiled a list of the top kinks
UK – Unapologetic and unabashed, clad in a risque bikini with her jet black hair cascading down her back and bangs accentuating her long face, a brazen and playful smile complementing the jutted out pose, Bettie Page or the Queen of Pinups, is considered one of the biggest icons of women empowerment and the sexual revolution. Being a fascinating figure for the heterosexual male gaze, Page has also served as a symbol of liberation from inhibitions, self-love and body positivity, having a remarkable influence on young girls and women, making them a lot more accepting of themselves and their bodies. Although this beauty passed away in 2008 at the age of 85, her legacy continues to be celebrated today, making her one of the most posthumously influential people in the world. A pop-cultural icon, she has not only been the inspiration for singers like Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Beyonce and Madonna but also for various avenues such as fashion, film, comics, shows and more, popularising the “Bettie bangs” and bondage culture.
Mark Mori directed a wonderful film named Bettie Page Reveals All in which Page serves as the narrator. Page, who can be considered a symbol of resilience, self-confidence and determination, had a very difficult childhood, being subject to constant abuse at the hands of her father. Despite being bogged down by neglect, abuse, poverty and oppression, Page managed to rise above the ashes, managing her responsibilities while graduating with top marks and earning a college degree at Peabody College before being the successful self-made icon she would subsequently become. Fun fact, Page was voted “Girl Most Likely to Succeed” at her high school which foreshadowed the immensely successful career she would soon embark on. Page had married William E. “Billy” Neal in 1943 but divorced after a brief conjugal period of four years in 1947. It was 1947 that changed the course of her life completely.
In the 1940s, with the advent of laws that made nudity and pornography a criminal offence to prohibit them, “camera clubs” came into ostensible existence. Under the pretext of promoting artsy photography, they sold pornography under-the-counter. Page had an encounter with NYPD officer and avid photography enthusiast Jerry Tibbs who advised Betty to style her hair with bangs in front; this later became an iconic look for Page. Tibbs helped her make a pin-up portfolio free of cost. Soon, Page entered the wondrous world of “glamour photography”, where she became one of the most sought after camera club models due to her bold poses and lack of inhibition which was a rare find in the erotic industry. Having worked initially with Cass Carr, Page gradually began working with Irving Klaw. The latter was responsible for Page’s popularity as a bondage model.
“I wasn’t trying to be anything. I was just myself.”
Clad in sexy lingerie, Bettie Page would even comply to “special order requests” that were usually hailed from high-profile socialites, judges, doctors and more. She would indulge in various fetishistic positions which included “oops-I-dropped-my-panties” scenarios or that of abduction, slave-grooming, bondage, spanking, handcuffs and more. The preference lay in “passive” helpless girls who would stare on like a virgin nymphomaniac. Page shone through in these crude postures; she would oscillate back and forth between being a playful minx to a “stern dominatrix”. Despite being restrained or ball-gagged, the look in her eyes would subvert the general expectations that people had from the models; she was always in charge irrespective of the kind of clandestine feature she posed for. As Buszek said, “she was a partner in the process, not someone who was being exploited”.
Seductive and bold, Page came to be known as ‘The Queen of Curves’ and ‘The Dark Angel’, having won the title of ‘Miss Pinup Girl of the World’. However, Page quit modelling shortly after due to the “concocted witch-hunt” that was a result of society’s orthodox and repressive McCarthyism towards sex and nudity. A teenage boy reportedly died of accidental autoerotic asphyxiation and then-Senator Estes Kefaveur, a radical opposed to the “indecency” projected by nudity and gambling, and his committee, drew an expansive link between her bondage modelling and the boy’s death, trying to convey Page’s contribution in “juvenile delinquency”. Shortly after, page vanished from the face of the modelling industry causing a severe blow to Klaw’s business. She became a devout Christian, attending church services. As Page has been quoted saying in the film: “I don’t even believe God disapproves of nudity. After all, he put Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden naked as jaybirds.”
Page’s retirement, however, ushered in a new dawn of a sexual revolution in the United States, where people began raising their voices against the “repressive sexual authorities”. With the beginning of the women’s liberation movement in the 1960s as well as the sexual revolution, Page has been credited for being the flagbearer of the latter, propagating the tenets of being a sex-positive feminist. An actual badass, Page never believed in concealing her bodily imperfections. She loved embracing her own flaws which were quite revolutionary and ground-breaking. She served as a perfect foil to the common mentality where women had to be the epitomes of perfection. Her unconventional beauty included “imperfect teeth and a slightly droopy eye” and curvy stature, which made her even more desirable. Exuding raw charm and confidence, Page was a different kind of sexy.
“I love to swim in the nude and roam around the house in the nude. You’re just as free as a bird!”
Bettie Page championed the cause of nudity. She loved embracing effort bare all not only for the sake of her profession and others’ entertainment but also for the sense of freedom and empowerment she derived from it. She wanted “to be remembered as the woman who changed people’s perspectives concerning nudity in its natural form” and boy, she did. She had been arrested for public indecency while posing nude on a beach. She refused to let the court of law bog her down and pleaded not guilty until she wore them down. Page also firmly disapproved of calling a woman’s body indecent. It was quite an irony to see how women’s bodies were used as commodities to please the heteronormative desires but would be shunned if used for personal pleasure. Page, who was the perfect example of a “virgin nymphomaniac” with the look of sex and innocence in her eyes, became the symbol for female sexuality triumphing over anxiety and insecurity. Embracing the female form the way it is was quite alien to women before Bettie Page showed them the way. As Angelica Luna had been quoted saying to The Atlantic, “Step down, Marilyn. You had nothing on Bettie”.
Bettie Page was soon “penniless and infamous” before her sudden resurgence which throned her as the queen she is. Her comeback story is inspiring and reeks of vibrance, exuberance, resilience and strong will. Despite the insurmountable obstacles that adorned her path, including her 10-year saga with schizophrenia, sexual assault as well as tumultuous personal life, Page managed to stay afloat in this vicious industry, with pride and courage. She was quite shocked and overwhelmed to know how celebrated she was even today. “It makes me feel wonderful that people still care for me… that I have so many fans among young people, who write to me and tell me I have been an inspiration,” she once said.
Page, who was also a talented artist, was her own hairstylist and often made her clothes and bikinis during shoots. The scanty and risque bikinis were quite scandalous and unseen at those times, disrupting the taboo norms, Bettie continued being the renegade, indulging in whatever she felt comfortable in: “I never kept up with the fashions. I believed in wearing what I thought looked good on me.”
Powerful and charming, Bettie Page defines brilliance. “Young women say I helped them come out of their shells,” she was quoted saying. The world, especially women, owe a lot to Page for being the pioneer of feminism and sexual freedom. Page’s carefree smile and mirth in her eyes, displaying her well-endowed pubic hair or while being bound, exudes sensuality and courage and the courage to embrace the body. Bettie Page should be relentlessly celebrated for being a product of rotten childhood trauma to a lovely and confident body that refused to be exploited by the male gaze and being an inspiration for women all over the world.
“I was not trying to be shocking or to be a pioneer. I wasn’t trying to change society or to be ahead of my time. I didn`t think of myself as liberated, and I don’t believe that I did anything important. I was just myself. I didn`t know any other way to be or any other way to live.”
USA – Neural Nets got into erotic hypnosis in the 90s. He was in his twenties, dating a woman deeply tranced in D/S (dominance and submission) play.
“She claimed she wanted to quiet her mind,” says the 46-year-old Baltimore resident. “I had her do ‘memory sessions.’ I wrote 100 degrading phrases for her to memorize on flashcards. She memorized them in order. In a memory session, she’d recite her mantras while naked and partially bound in front of a mirror. If she got the right answer, she’d get her clit stroked. If she got the wrong answer, she’d get the crop and start over. After one of these sessions, she kept mouthing her mantras well after we concluded and moved onto other games.”
At the time, Nets was a debate coach that had just moved to the mid-Atlantic to work for Georgetown. His experience led him down a rabbit hole where a burgeoning erotic hypnosis scene allowed him to explore the act of consensual control.
“I circulated my work only in private kink circles in the 90s,” he continues. “It later leaked, and it was used as the background for a lot of PornHub videos. It was really the equivalent of a leaked sex tape.”
After some negotiating, Nets was able to get credit for his work, leading to a successful Tumblr presence.
By now, you might be wondering: What exactly is erotic hypnosis? And even if you feel like you have a slight inclination, what you think you know about erotic hypnosis is likely wrong. Consider it to be an extension of a consensual kink as opposed to a manipulation tool.
Nets wants people to move away from the idea of erotic hypnosis as a trick.
“The public conceives of erotic hypnosis as a magic D&D spell,” he notes, “[while] actual practitioners see it as a consensual and mutual activity. Trying to hypnotize someone into exceeding their own preferences and boundaries isn’t ethical or even that possible.”
Nets is one of 50,000 members of r/EroticHypnosis, a subreddit “to discuss hypnosis used in erotic, sexy, and kinky contexts.” It’s a place where amateurs interested in the art of hypnosis can learn about the intricacies of heightened focus and concentration while indulging their own sexual interests by sharing content with one another.
For user Nathan H., erotic hypnosis is used as a means to connect with his partner and explore his own limits.
“One of the attractions to hypnosis is often the feeling of being in someone else’s control, just like with bondage play,” he explains. “That feeling of vulnerability can be very thrilling. In any sexual encounter, however, we need to keep our libido from overwhelming our good sense. As an in-person amateur hypnotist, I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to engage with people who talk about consent, limits, expectations, and rules.”
Like many subreddits, r/EroticHypnsis is extremely far from perfect.
“I think the largest problem is the view that hypnosis is, by definition, coercion,” notes Nathan. “We all need to be aware of coercive people in our lives and relationships, and take steps to protect ourselves against those influences. That includes not putting yourself in vulnerable positions with people you aren’t sure you can trust, in all areas. If we let someone we just meet handcuff us to the bed, we are not making good decisions or following the BDSM community’s rule of ‘safe, sane, consensual’ play.”
Nets, on the other hand, thinks the problem lies within the actual community as opposed to people misinterpreting erotic hypnosis as a concept.
“The erotic hypnosis community is a dumpster fire,” he states. “It’s genuinely impossible to screen out the constant influx of people pursuing the kink for the wrong reasons. Some people want to seduce and manipulate without adequate consent. Some people want hypnosis to fix them, and the community is fairly bad at maintaining the dividing line between therapy and eroticism. Some people just have overall magical expectations. Some people think that doing erotic hypnosis is a route to rapid recognition or an income boost for sex work.”
Nets believes the community needs to “attract and retain skeptics” to function normally.
“Most people outside of the community can recognize how alarming and implausible the overclaims are,” he continues. “Erotic hypnosis cannot physically kill you, create the Manson family, make you into a sexual Manchurian candidate, change your sexual orientation, or alter your physique. You wouldn’t know that by scrolling a community forum, though. There’s no check on bullshit and grifters, and it’s really ruined most of the community spaces.”
While the community is nothing short of frustrating for seasoned professionals like Nets and Nathan, r/EroticHypnosis is a wonderful spot for the curious. There are plenty of introductory posts for those who have no idea what they’re doing: how to get into a trance, suggestions for newcomers feeling frustrated by the limits of hypnosis, and no shortage of fan favorites.
“When you’ve decided to allow someone (or a video or audio file) to hypnotize you, find a relaxing place and time when things are not expected of you,” says Nathan. “Try to listen to what’s being said and how, instead of thinking about your feelings or expectations about the experience.”
Nathan believes erotic hypnosis should be treated as an exercise in mindfulness. Do and think about what you’re instructed to do and think about, without judging or waiting to see what’s going to happen. He says one should always keep in mind that erotic hypnosis is something you want to do.
“I’m a content creator, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t recommend myself,” says Nets. “If you’re a first-timer, demand more from your content creators. Don’t settle for someone droning awkwardly too much bass. Don’t buy into this as if it’s religion. You don’t have to suspend disbelief and play along for days and weeks. That’s a grifty myth. If you listen and you think it’s boring garbage, it probably is. There are plenty of good actors and producers out there. You should be empowered to expect better.”
USA – AN alleged recruiter for Jeffrey Epstein has confessed she introduced him to three women and shopped for sexy outfits — but denies she took part in any abuse.
Rina Oh, 41, confessed in the podcast Broken: Seeking Justice that she dated Epstein and that he requested she bring him good-looking women including former model Marijke Chartouni.
However, Oh denied allegations from Chartouni and Virginia Roberts—another accuser who mentioned Oh in her memoir—that she perpetrated or or directly participated in any sexual abuse they experienced.
“I’m just letting you know that what she accused me of doing is a complete fabricated lie,” Oh said of Roberts’ memoir.
In the podcast reported by the Daily Mail on Wednesday, Oh admitted that she participated in numerous activities involving Epstein, the American financier and convicted sex offender who died in August 2019.
Oh opened up about Epstein apparently asking her to take Roberts, then 17, on a shopping trip to find a “little school girl outfit.”
When podcast host Tara Palmeri asked Oh if she thought it was strange that Epstein wanted a 17-year-old young woman dressed like a school girl, Oh responded, “I wasn’t asking questions. I just did as I was told.”
Oh was evasive when Palmeri followed up on why she did not find Epstein’s demands alarming.
The mystery recruiter said, “I’ve brought three people to, to that place,” referring to Epstein’s mansion in New York, and that “when I’m, ready to talk about it, I’m gonna I talk about it.”
Oh said Chartouni, whom Epstein sexual assaulted, was one of the women she presented to him.
But Oh insisted: “My side of the story is I did not abuse anyone, period. People that knew about him wanted to meet him. And I brought those people there, period.”
“I met her very briefly. We didn’t really know each other too well,” Oh said of Chartouni.
“And I brought her because he kept asking me to bring your friends. So I brought her once.”
But in a subsequent interview for the podcast, Oh changed her storyline.
“I was in the room when Marijke and I were both victimized by Epstein,” Oh said.
Oh pushed back on claims Roberts made in her memoir and said, “I was nothing but nice to this girl.”
“And I actually wanted to hang out with her and she declined to hang out with me,” Oh continued.
“So we actually never spent any significant amount of time together except for that one shopping adventure.”
A draft manuscript of Roberts’ memoir that was among court documents that became public last August stated that Epstein met Oh at an art gallery where he bought some of her pieces.
The memoir alleges various sexual encounters, including that Epstein asked Oh to help Roberts massage him.
Oh, at the time about 21 years old, “loved bondage, whipping, hitting and cutting her sex partner with little sharp knives until they subdued (sic) to her punishment in agonizing pain,” Roberts wrote in the memoir.
In addition, the manuscript states that Epstein was “absurdly taken” with seeing Oh use whips and toys on Roberts, and rented an apartment for Oh.
Epstein had Oh and Roberts go shopping for “sexy outfits, sex toys and bondage material,” it states.
Roberts said that Oh “fit into the subservient category” that Epstein liked and that she had a “bubbly persona.”
Oh spoke on the podcast after being found in her New Jersey home by Chartouni, who has acted as a private investigator for Epstein’s victims.
USA – OHIO, October 5, 2020 (LifeSiteNews) – Any wise parent with a child in public school has already figured out that sometimes you are being deceived.
Enter the world of “comprehensive sex education” (CSE) and the embedded lies meant to conceal the overt sexualization of adolescents.
In Ohio, numerous school districts have a relationship with a large counseling group called Syntero. One of Syntero’s services is a sexuality education program their representatives teach called “Healthy Bodies/Healthy Futures.” The contents are deeply disturbing, dangerous, even possibly criminal.
A video outlining the serious problems with Syntero lessons is being distributed by the Protect Ohio Children coalition.
For instance, in the packet given to middle school children, the list of “Online and Reliable Sex Ed Resources” includes websites Bedsider and Scarleteen, both of which promote high-risk, promiscuous sex in explicit posts.
Bedsider recently featured a front-page column, “Frisky Fridays: Sex in the time of Coronavirus” which included a priority list. Number 1 was this: “Skip the sex parties. This is definitely not the time for group sex.” (Many middle schoolers need this guidance, apparently?)
This page also advises avoidance of other people’s bodily fluids during the lockdown, and social distancing while engaged in mutual masturbation. Yet one can choose the option of using remote-controlled sex toys with a link provided to learn about Bedsider’s favorites. And then the website instructs your middle-schooler on “unboring sex positions.” Just what you want your 11-year-old to believe is normal and healthy in an intimate relationship.
The parents and professionals in the video share the outrage that most will experience when they learn about Syntero’s assault on childhood innocence. It’s essentially the techniques of sexual predator “grooming.”
Ohio has a law mandating that sexuality education follow a standard of abstinence until marriage. Yet numerous Ohio school districts teach some version of explicit CSE curricula, often with ties to Planned Parenthood and its allies.
Among the smooth lies meant to wave off curious parents and school boards, Syntero claims “Healthy Bodies/Health Futures” teaches “age appropriate, medically accurate information and skills needed to face tough issues, make sound choices and practice healthy behaviors.” A Facebook video was posted by the coordinator of this program, including reassuring messages to parents that the Syntero approach is all great, it’s “abstinence-plus” and that Ohio law is “scary.” She omits some vital facts about the truly frightening content Syntero is teaching.
For instance, Syntero’s “reliable resource” Scarleteen gives young students advice about “DIY Sex Toys,” including how to make a harness, restraints or a “flogger” for sexual sadism. This article talks in detail about spanking and other activities of “BDSM” (bondage-dominance-sadism-masochism).
So would most parents consider this “medically accurate” and “age appropriate”? Does this lead to practicing “healthy behaviors”?
Responsible parents would be screaming about now.
Syntero’s high school presentation teaches students that sex with a condom is “low risk.” This same presentation describes “hand jobs” and “fingering” as also being low risk. There is also apparently a low risk chance of sound advice being the foundation of these presentations.
Another trusted resource provided by Syntero to middle schoolers is Mozaicohio.org which describes itself as “a health and wellness, HIV prevention, and community building initiative for trans & gender non-conforming people of color ages 13-29.” This is overt endorsement of girls who want to be boys or vice versa– sex “transition,” well-documented to be an unnecessary, impossible and medically high-risk fad.
And Mozaic itself leads a young teen into another poisonous nest of “resources,” including Sugarbutch, a site with this disclaimer on the home page: “This site contains explicit writings on kink practices, dominant/submissive relationships, and queer kink erotica (among other things). All characters in role play or non-consent scenes are consenting adults. Content warnings are included.”
How quickly your once-innocent child can be corrupted. At school.
Syntero’s resource lists offer no counter-balance to pro-condom, hard core pro-promiscuity advocacy, but only sexually-permissive, pro-abortion groups are listed. The impressionable child will be left with the clear understanding that he/she is expected to become sexually active in many hazardous directions as soon as possible.
But this organization’s degrading actions don’t end there. Syntero holds private drop-in sessions for 12 to 18-year-olds who identify as “LGBTQ” and Syntero is also closely tied to Kaleidoscope, a Columbus organization that offers private, parent-excluded sessions for “LGBTQ” youth.
The Protect Ohio Children video largely focuses on the porn and sado-masochism Syntero promotes to youth and the possible criminal grooming taking place. Dr. Marlene Carson, a member of the U.S. Advisory Council on Human Trafficking and CEO/ Founder of the Switch Anti-Trafficking Network, said this in the video:
“Having reviewed several of the websites that Syntero is recommending through their Healthy Bodies/Healthy Futures program, I am deeply disturbed by the amount of obscene and pornographic content that’s being recommended to our children that are as young as 11 years old that are sitting in our classrooms.
“As a survivor of domestic violence and sex trafficking, I know all too well the abuse and the trauma of those who thought bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism were healthy behaviors. The pornography industry is directly linked to sex trafficking. I find that this material being recommended to our children is nothing short of criminal grooming.”
And Troy Stevens is also quoted in the video. He’s a former Marine, as well as a former Franklin County deputy sheriff and police detective working special undercover investigations, including crimes against children. He said this: “In their middle school student packet and in classroom presentation slides, Syntero is recommending websites that contain and re-direct children to obscene and hard core porn sites. If I or another adult compiled this material and presented it to a minor, we would be arrested for child endangerment and corruption of a minor.”
So what can parents do? First, every school board member in these districts needs to be made aware of the law in Ohio and what is instead being taught to children. And they need to be advised that Syntero, like other CSE curriculum distributors, will try to slither out of close scrutiny by claiming their program has an “abstinence” focus. The truth is, these lessons mention it in passing just before advocating “hook-up” anal, oral and vaginal sex to middle schoolers and teaching them where to go for an abortion.
So they are liars.
School board members need to see this video and then be held accountable for whatever decision they make. Hopefully, it’s the right one.
This is criminal corruption. It needs to stop, today.
USA – IOWA – Uberkinky’s Periodic Table of Kinks has 151 blocks and is equally important as — if not more than, in my opinion — the Table of Elements. Various kinks are sorted into 12 categories, including torture, restraint, role play, butt stuff and vanilla. Everything from tickling to poop play is represented.
Mom, Dad, tread lightly with this one.
Kinks — sexual desires attached to specific objects, acts or body parts that aren’t necessarily sexual in and of themselves — tend to be taboo at the dinner table, but they’re more common than you might think. The Journal of Sex Research found one in three people have experimented with paraphilia, or unusual sexual interests, at some point in their lives. A 2016 UK survey indicated as many as 75 percent of people harbor a fetish.
Probably the most prevalent and certainly well-known kink is BDSM. The acronym is up for debate, but generally refers to erotic bondage, discipline, dominance/submission and sadomasochism. Riding crops, handcuffs, ball gags, harnesses and black leather garments are BDSM tools as well as part of the subculture’s aesthetic.
The organized kink/BDSM community in Iowa is small, but it exists. Iowa Leather Weekend, which takes place in October, is an all-out kinky bonanza, including a vendor market, entertainment pieces and a contest in which participants compete for four Iowa Leather titles: Ms., Mr., Bear and Pet. These titleholders go on to wave the leather pride flag (black-and-blue-striped, with one white stripe cutting the center and a red heart in the upper left corner) around the state, including at the Iowa City Pride Festival.
Bettie Rage, Ms. Iowa Leather 2020, has been in the scene for 20 years. Starting her journey in Minneapolis, she jumped feet first into the leather community after becoming fascinated with the power dynamics between submissive men and dominant women.
“When I was 21, I had a friend who brought me to a bar called Ground Zero in Minnesota, and on the weekends, they have a bondage and go-go night,” Rage said. “As soon as I walked in I had a man crawl up to me on his hands and knees and another man asked to kiss my boots. I was there every weekend after that.”
Becoming Ms. Iowa Leather is no joke. Contestants submit a resume and, if picked, undergo an audition before a panel of judges. The audition consists of a private interview with the judges, a speech, a question and a five-minute fantasy scene performed on stage.
For Boy Chris, the Mr. Iowa Leather 2020 titleholder, Leather Weekend is also a good way to discover more about certain kinks. Educational panels present people an opportunity to learn safe sex practices in a welcoming environment. Because their kink can involve intricate skills, like knot-tying, and negotiated relationships, such as that between a dom and a sub, communication and consent are tanned into the leather of BDSM culture.
“We pull in people from all over to watch the contest, and we do educational things,” Chris said. “We educate on various kinks, promoting inclusivity. We want everyone to come — our trans boys, sisters, drag queens, twinks, bears and pups. The pet scene has really exploded so we want to be all-inclusive and welcoming.”
Pet play “is a subculture within our community that allows people to let go and feel comfortable in social scenes,” Chris explained. While people with a pet kink often get off on playing the role of a submissive puppy, including wearing a collar, leash or muzzle, others prefer to portray cats, or other animals “that capture their personality.”
The list of domination-, pain- and restraint-related kinks is virtually endless, including such niche interests as cuckolding and “human furniture” (which is pretty much exactly what you think it is). To signal which kink they’re into at meetups, people put various coded items, often colored handkerchiefs, in their back pocket. A red handkerchief indicates an interest in fisting, yellow for “water sports,” hunter green for daddy play, black for BDSM and so on and so forth.
“There are plastic forks you can put in your back pocket — that just means you’re looking for dinner — and another is a sweatband which means
you’re looking for wrasslin’ fun,” said Rage, explaining the most unique back-pocket tokens she’s seen.
Rage understands how difficult it can be to overcome the fear of outing oneself as a BDSM enthusiast, particularly as a woman in a predominantly male scene. Before becoming Ms. Iowa Leather, she established a kink and coffee group at Smokey Row in Des Moines for female-identifying and nonbinary folk to have a safe space to talk all things kink without male-identifying people around.
“Running for title was important to me because there are so many spaces that are still men-only spaces [where] women and trans folks aren’t necessarily welcome,” she said. “I wanted to win this title to be a presence in the women’s community and to change things.”
The Iowa Leather title family has recently broadened its outreach, offering monthly Think Kink classes at the Blazing Saddle in Des Moines, open to anyone 18 or older. Held on the second Tuesday of every month and spanning six months, the lessons are designed for both beginner and experienced kinksters.
“The first one was consent and the next one [on Feb. 11] will be about impact play,” Chris explained. “In that topic it’s about, how do you do those things without hurting, and then teaching what consent you need to think about when using a cane to hit someone.”
Iowa Leather will also expand beyond Des Moines metro, hosting a Sash Bash at Studio 13 in Iowa City March 6-8, and an event in Waterloo at Kings and Queens Club the first weekend in April.
I felt very comfortable interviewing Rage and Chris, and told them so. As a closeted kinky queer, being sex-forward is something I crave but haven’t acted on, held back by trauma and boys who don’t respond to my 2 a.m. booty call. The Iowa Leather titleholders reassured me that the community is open to anyone, regardless of if they’re having sex or not. There’s no pressure to be anything in a place largely written off as “bad” or “perverted,” a few negative stereotypes unfairly hurled their way. Once you overcome what society has conditioned you to believe is bad, you start living.
“People have kinks. Gay, straight, nonbinary, whatever people want to identify as, they have kinks,” Chris said. “We just want to reach out and let people know they’re not alone. My title family is living our best lives and showing people you can have fun and still be an adult.”
Meggie Gates is a comedian and writer from Cedar Rapids, based in Chicago, Illinois. They write for the Chicago Reader, Consequence of Sound, Reductress and a variety of other places, including, of course, Little Village, located in their favorite city in the world. They enjoy comic books and hate sand between their toes. This article was originally published in Little Village issue 278.
USA – A Jeannette woman convicted last year in the fatal bludgeoning of her teen-aged boyfriend insisted in court on Monday she did not intend for him to die.
Crystal Belle, 40, said during her sentencing hearing she cared deeply for her 19-year-old boyfriend, Khalil Parker, even as she used the wooden handle of a snow shovel to repeatedly beat him during one of many violent incidents involving the couple at their South Seventh Street home.
“He was a willing participant. If he was here today we would be fighting. I didn’t torture him,” Belle said. “I’m telling you I never hit him and wanted him to die. If I was obsessive and jealous you don’t want him to die. I did not want him to die.”
Following a six-day trial in October, a Westmoreland County jury convicted Belle of third-degree murder. Prosecutors contended she intended to kill Parker and had sought a first-degree murder finding, a verdict that would have resulted in a life prison sentence.
Westmoreland County Common Pleas Court Judge Christopher Feliciani sentenced Belle to serve 15 to 30 years in prison.
“No sentence will make things better for the victim’s family. Nothing will bring Khalil back. Your conduct did reflect a conscious indifference to human life,” Feliciani said.
Prosecutors at trial said Belle and Parker engaged in sexual games and bondage scenarios that turned violent and ultimately resulted in his death in June 2016.
Parker sustained more than 100 injuries over his body, including a head wound and smaller cuts and bruises that appeared on his neck, chest, arms, legs and genitals. His autopsy revealed he died from not one specific wound but a loss of blood from a cumulative effect of all of his injuries, according to the prosecution.
At trial, the prosecution suggested Belle used the snow shovel and a wooden plank to bludgeon Parker in the head as he was tied to the bed then attempted to clean and sanitize her home before she dragged Parker down the stairs and called for an ambulance.
Belle’s comments in court on Monday were in contrast to testimony she gave at trial.
Belle told jurors she and Parker participated in sexual domination and bondage. She testified they used shoelaces to tie each other to a bed and inflict pain on their partner with the handle of a snow shovel or wooden board. Belle told jurors that, the night before Parker’s death, she became enraged when he inserted the shovel into her body against her will and later tried to force her to perform a sex act.
She said she responded violently, threw the shovel handle at him, jabbed at Parker with scissors and used pliers to attack his genitals as he ran naked out of the room. She testified the fight eventually ended and they went to sleep. She claimed that, when she awoke the next morning, Parker wasn’t home and didn’t return for hours. Belle testified Parker finally returned home with a head wound she couldn’t explain.
In court on Monday, Parker’s sister and father each said his death came much too soon.
“Every day is hard. He was my only son and he wasn’t a bad kid. I’m just torn up. I don’t know what to say,” said Parker’s father, Dewayne Morris. “We loved him and miss him so much. The way it was done was ruthless. He was only 19 years old and had his whole life ahead of him.”
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