EXCLUSIVE: Aurelia van Foxx, an escort on Kaufmich!, recalled the moment her client’s wife turned up and instantly got involved with the saucy sex session at home
Princeton University will host a course this spring on “Black + Queer” bondage and sado-maschochism, drawing concern from some students who argue the class is a thinly veiled attempt to celebrate and venerate the BDSM culture.
The Ivy League course, “Black + Queer in Leather: Black Leather/BDSM Material Culture,” explores “Black Queer BDSM communities,” according to the course catalog description.
“Black Queer BDSM material culture resists contextualization in relationship to biographical narratives because of the underground elements of the community,” according to an alternate description on the Princeton Lewis Center for the Arts website, which added it will have “a significant research focus on finding and presenting new materials.”
The reading list includes “Sensational Flesh: Race, Power, and Masochism” by Amber Jamilla Musser, “The Color of Kink: Black Women, BDSM, and Pornography” by Ariane Cruz, “The Black Body In Ecstasy: Reading Race, Reading Pornography,” by Jennifer Nash, and “A Taste for Brown Sugar: Black Women in Pornography” by Mireille Miller-Young.
Miller-Young is an associate professor of feminist studies at UC Santa Barbara whose area of focus is black studies, pornography and sex-work. She got in a physical altercation with a pro-life teenager in campus in 2014 after she was “triggered” by pro-life demonstrators’ signs. She was sentenced to to community service, anger-management classes, and $493 in restitution to the teen she assaulted, The College Fix reported at the time.
Princeton’s “Black + Queer” class is cross-listed with the Program in Visual Arts, the African American Studies department, and the Gender and Sexuality Studies department. Tiona McClodden, a 2021-23 Arts Fellow with Princeton’s Lewis Center for the Arts, is listed as its instructor.
McClodden is a “filmmaker and visual artist” whose work “explores shared ideas, values, and beliefs within the African Diaspora,” which she refers to as the “Black mentifact,” according to her website. McClodden is interested in “Blackness and traversing nostalgia” and explores the themes of “narrative within social realism, re-memory” and “biomythography,” it added.
“Tell me there is a lesbian forever…,” “The Dom Drop,” and “The Hitter” are among McClodden’s previous works.
The College Fix asked McClodden for a copy of the syllabus but has not received a response.
Students express shock at Princeton-sponsored exposure to ‘highly addictive’ pornographic content, violent imagery
Some Princeton undergraduate students expressed concern about a course containing what they consider pornographic content and sexual violence.
“The primary issue I take with this course is its employment of pornography,” Princeton junior Paul Fletcher wrote to The Fix.
Fletcher is president of the Princeton chapter of the Anscombe Society, an undergraduate organization that promotes traditional views of sex, love and marriage. It “aims to foster an atmosphere where sex is dignified, respectful, and beautiful…and where no one is objectified, instrumentalized, or demeaned,” its website states.
“In the course description, pornographic content is required reading,” Fletcher wrote.
“Pornographic content of this sort is highly addictive, particularly to men and women of college age, often correlating with severe anxiety and depression,” Fletcher said via email. “Students cannot just watch it, ‘study it,’ without consuming it. This is the equivalent of a Princeton course requiring every student to smoke a cigarette each week, and ‘study’ its effects. This course has no place in a university that prioritizes the wellbeing of its students.”
“The concern here…is the university-funded imposition of something potentially harmful and addictive by faculty onto students,” Fletcher wrote.
Sophomore Julianna Lee, vice president of Princeton’s Anscombe Society, wrote to The Fix she is “shocked that such a course is being taught at Princeton. Cultural discourse and understanding are good things, but there is no need to do it in such a way that students are exposed to content that has been scientifically proven to be harmful.”
“Plenty of people would be vehemently opposed to the idea of glorifying domestic abuse or gun violence, so why is it okay to have a class dedicated to concepts that promote unsafe sexual practices?” Lee said via email.
Lee noted she has never seen the university offer a course dedicated to traditional understandings of sexuality.
“I have not yet seen a single course here dedicated to exploring what it means to love in such a way that minimizes damage, including a clear dating timeline and how to truly will the good of another,” Lee wrote to The Fix.
Gretel Pinniger, aka Madam Lash, bought the gothic building, known as The Kirk on Cleveland Street, Surry Hills in Sydney from the Methodist Church in 1986 for just $205,000.
The church went on to house burlesque shows and countless wild experimental parties.
Rock hall-of-famers AC/DC filmed the music video for one of their signature songs at the church – Let There Be Rock.
But the church fell into disrepair and Ms Pinniger had to constantly erect fences or change locks on the property to prevent squatters from occupying it and potentially setting it on fire.
In April this year Ms Pinniger, now 76, won approval to convert The Kirk into a 26-room boarding house, which became part of its marketing appeal for commercial property agents JLL.
At the time she said she wanted The Kirk to again become a place for musicians and artists to ‘have all the fun we used to have’.
Her $5.6million plans to redevelop The Kirk gained council approval despite objections from NIMBY neighbours worried about the size of her development, the noise, privacy and parking.
The Kirk drew over 200 enquiries when it hit the market, was inspected 30 times and eventually six registered bidders fought it out to secure the iconic 578sq metre building.
The building has now been approved to be turned into 24 residential studios.
It went up for auction on November 3, with opening bids at $4.5million and sold for $6million.
Ms Pinniger became a celebrity advocate of whipping and bondage for rich and powerful male clients, including James Packer’s uncle Clyde and businessman Gordon Barton.
She was also a successful artist, twice having works entered in the prestigious Archibald Prize.
She also used The Kirk as an art space and once said ‘I never took an acid trip without doing a painting’.
Ms Pinniger also ran for the Senate at the 1996 election, representing the Extra Dimension Party.
The former dominatrix now lives in Palm Beach, in Sydney’s northern beaches, and had previously rented out The Kirk on Airbnb for events including hens’ and bucks’ parties.
USA – A little slap and tickle – kinky or otherwise – has been good medicine for us down the ages. Public consumption of the practice of BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadochism and Masochism) really came into its own during a ‘golden age’ of fetish art in the mid 20th century. Fetish art has satisfied an enduring need to capture and privately preserve a subject too risqué or taboo for polite conversation. Voyeurism, through lavishly illustrated ‘instruction manuals’, was also a key ingredient of the practice; not only were they creative but also a book of rules: how far, how much and for how long. But richly illustrated records on the subject, albeit in limited quantity, have been around since the time of the ancients, surviving from some of the world’s oldest scriptures, frescoes and even tombs.
The tools of BDSM (whips, chains, masks, gags etc) have little changed over the millennia, with the good ol’ whip remaining a key icon. There is psychological arousal both for the dispenser of the ‘punishment’ and also for the receiver. Equally the light action of whipping and spanking activates blood circulation and gets the body more sensitive and releases endorphins, stimulating those parts and creating a pleasure rush in anticipation of sex. The oldest known image of this nature is hidden away in a dark 5th century BCE Etruscan tomb at the Necropoli dei Monterozzi in Italy.
Two naked men are pictured rather politely whipping a naked woman’s backside, while she in return pleasures both. A few centuries later and a little more public, in the Villa of the Mysteries in Pompeii, a painted plaster wall fresco wraps around a room’s walls showing a descending winged whip-handed female figure apparently dispensing a flagellation ritual to new bride. In this case, it’s thought the whip is not only a symbol of the future male-dominated marriage, but may also be the iconography of a rite of passage, from a carefree maiden to the spinning mistress of the household with the spindle-thread a metaphorical whip-lash.
From the same period, around the 3rd century CE, the Hindu Kama sutra from India celebrates erotic love. Whilst we are now so familiar with the 2,000-year-old guide by Indian philosopher Vatsyayana, within its pages you can also find a section describing “four different kinds of hitting during lovemaking, the allowed regions of the human body to target and different kinds of joyful cries of pain practiced by bottoms”. The ancient Indian Sanskrit text is thus considered “one of the first written resources dealing with sadomasochistic activities and safety rules”.
European art of the 18th and 19th centuries produced many one-off hot and erotic works captured in pencil and oil. With developments in printing, erotic material could be more easy copied and distributed. Do we even need to open the can of worms that is Marquis de Sade’s dungeon fantasies? Lesser-known and mostly visual and voyeuristic, perhaps the best exploration of the bondage theme was Leopold von Sacher-Masoch’s Venus in Furs, published in 1870. In this book not just the physical relationship of sexual power is explored, but also the political and psychological. It claims that until there is true equality, women will remain man’s ‘enemy’. The concepts of ‘enemy’ and ‘entanglement’ both physically and emotionally drive BDSM culture.
Fast forward to more modern times, with the industrialisation of printing and photography, fetish imagery could be easily and cheaply supplied to all who were interested. In America, Charles Guyette (1902 –1976) is regarded as the godfather of fetish art, producing and distributing film, fashion and print.
He would also be the first to go to jail for charges of indecency in 1935. Later crowned the “G-String King,” his key contribution was fetish photography featuring thigh-high boots, sharp heels and gartered fishnet stockings with supporting props of whips and hand-cuffs. Guyette was largely unknown in his own lifetime and operated under umbrellas of aliases, but those American and Canadian exponents who succeeded him – Irving Klaw, John Willie and Eric Stanton – would become part of an infamous circle of patrons, publishers, and subculture personalities described by fetish art historian Richard Pérez Seves has designated as the “Bizarre Underground.”
John Willie, British born John Alexander Scott Coutts (1902 –1962), was an artist, fetish photographer, editor and the publisher of the first 20 issues of the now legendary fetish magazine Bizarre, which ran from 1946 to 1959. He had a taste for photographing women in towering stilettos, but also had a hand in creating the fashion they wore. By 1945, he’d created his own line of ‘exotic’ footwear called, “Achilles,” perfected the G-String tie that even Houdini hated getting out of, and created a series of fetish fantasy characters like “Sweet Gwendolyn” and her dominatrix, “the Countess”.
John Willie’s art is accomplished and his published layouts graphically strong, the content lying somewhere between fashion and fetishism; with ladies impossibly balanced on their stilettos, they sport super-tight hourglass waisted corsets, displaying their bulging breasts and gartered legs. The gags and gear are what could now be considered high fashion items: corsets from the best lingerie stores, immaculate bodysuits, endless silk stockings and lacy garters.
Whist Bizarre Magazine was rich with John Willie’s own artworks, it also included photographs, often of his own wife. The magazine folded due to paper shortages of WWII. When he retired, he destroyed most of his archives, except for a few surviving shots.
Inspired by John Willie, the self-named the “Pin-up King”, Irving Klaw was a “merchant of sexploitation” who operated a mail-order fetish art business in New York for movies and kinky photographs. Klaw’s work in BDSM media was mainly post-war, a series of striptease and burlesque movies featuring the likes of 50s pin-up girl Bettie Page. Hugh Hefner himself alludes to the domino effect Irving had on her career and ultimately pop culture: “She became, in time, an American icon, her winning smile and effervescent personality apparent in every pose. A kinky connection was added by Irving Klaw’s spanking, fetish and bondage photos, which became part of the Bettie Page mystique; they were playful parodies that are now perceived as the early inspiration for Madonna’s excursions into the realm of sexual perversion.”
In the late 1950s, amidst a new wave of media censorship, a career-ending McCarthy-style hearing branded Klaw as a degenerate pornographer. Bettie Page retired from modeling soon after and Klaw destroyed an estimated 80% of his negatives (while his sister Paula secretly saved some of his work).
Perhaps one of the most influential cartoonists to feature in Klaw’s material was Eric Stanton, another American underground cartoonist and fetish art pioneer who helped shape the movement before its acceptance in the 1970s. Artists like Banksy, Allen Jones and Madonna, among others, took inspiration from his the work, but interestingly, for a decade, Stanton also shared a working studio with Marvel Comics legend Steve Ditko.
Printed comic books in the 20th century saw an exotic pantheon of godlike characters: Batman, Superman and the likes, all tightly wrapped up in their clingy costumes and sporting fetish whips, chains and straps. Superman had been created in 1938 by artist Joe Shuster, who had also published a series of bondage magazines illustrated very much in the same drawing-style as those of the early Superman comics. The bondage magazine work is darker, openly portraying more pain than pleasure for the recipient. The art is more direct than John Willie’s softer crafted fantasies. Gorgeous girls and sometimes men are held captive, awkwardly chained and bound in dark cellars, near naked in the skimpiest of lingerie while tools of torture are wielded by twisted goblin-like men.
Following in the superhero track, the seemingly uncomfortable combination of feminism and fetishism spills out of William Moulton Marston, the creator of Wonder Woman who, incidentally was also the inventor of the polygraph and in his private life, practised polygamy and BDSM. From her earliest adventures beginning in 1941, she was inevitably bound and gagged by her captors, but always managed an escape to eventually ensnare her enemies with her golden lasso. William Marston wanted to see this as her emancipation, tearing off the bonds of men. Catwoman, Batgirl and the rest have followed suit, whether in leather or PVC – torn or otherwise – bringing fetish fashion to the table.
Fetishism has become commonplace and an intrinsic part of modern Western culture – from Madam Whiplash on the evening news to Allen Jones’ bondage mannequin furniture, the theatre of bondage are played out in the public realm. Even Harvard University has an approved a BDSM student sex club. And if you’re curious to learn more, Chicago’s Leather Archives and Museum is an excellent institution dedicated to preserving leather, kink, fetish, and BDSM history and culture and making it more accessible to the public.
SCOTLAND – A court has heard how Isaac Bunce went too far and left his partner with a scar, after she didn’t consent to the use of knives during their games.
A man admitted slashing a woman’s buttock when he went too far during a bondage sex game. Isaac Bunce, 53, tied up, blindfolded and gagged his partner before hanging her from a hook.
A court heard yesterday how the couple took part in BDSM – bondage, domination, sadism and masochism – sex. But on one occasion Bunce took a knife to the woman’s backside, leaving her with a scar.
Bunce, who was in a relationship with the woman, admitted assaulting her and cutting her on the body with a knife at a house in Inverness. The case had been delayed due to Covid and Bunce had been due to stand trial before a jury.
Fiscal depute Pauline Gair told Sheriff Sara Matheson: “The relationship involved BDSM behaviour and included the use of ropes, whips, and other implements by consent but never knives.
“On one occasion he told her that she had to be punished, tied her up, gagged her, blindfolded her and attached her to a hook on the ceiling. He was whipping the woman who complained it was sore and he stopped.
“She then felt blood running down her leg and saw a small knife. It appeared to have been used to inflict a four-inch cut to her right buttock. She did not seek medical attention and it has left a scar.”
Defence counsel Lorenzo Alonzi told Inverness Sheriff Court: “The relationship did continue for a short while afterwards. And that night he repeatedly said he was sorry.” Bunce had bail continued pending reports.
USA – Throughout history, Black women have seldom benefited from their own over-sexualization.
The Jezebel is a trope that stems from slavery that paints Black women as hyper-sexual and immoral. Critical race theorist Gloria Ladson-Billings wrote this stereotype is: “synonymous with promiscuity,” having “an insatiable sexual appetite,” and “someone who uses sex to manipulate men.”
Over time, this view of Black girls and women has remained a hallmark of their lived experience. In what experts have deemed “adultification,” teachers, law enforcement officials, parents and other grown figures often view young Black girls as less guileless and more adult-like than their white counterparts.
This is something Venus Cuffs can personally attest to. At just seven years old, she was sexually assaulted by a family friend and forced to relive the trauma, because nothing was done about it.
“He was still around for years, so I really didn’t understand the magnitude of what happened to me because everything went on like normal.”
Cuffs shared she grew up in a dysfunctional household between Los Angeles and New York City that was led by her single, hard-working mother and uncle who both grew up in foster care where chaos was commonplace. At the time of her assault, Cuffs said she was on the cusp of prepubescence and found it difficult to identify with the physiological changes happening to her in comparison to kids her age.
“I only started to process it when I was a teenager,” Cuffs shared told ESSENCE, explaining that as her schoolmates gained awareness of their growing sexual urges, she was forced to rethink her own experiences.
“In junior high and high school, people are like, ‘hey, are you a virgin?’ I never knew how to answer that question because it was like, technically, I guess I’m not. But at the same time, I was because it wasn’t consensual.”
She said this disjointed understanding sparked a need to take control of her sexuality, as well as gain a deeper understanding of consent. At 17, she did just that.
“I was invited to my first kink party then,” Cuffs said, referring to a type of gathering where attendees participate in consensual sexual acts in a safe, controlled environment. “I really enjoyed the way everyone seemed to feel. z That was really the beginning of it all.”
A short time later Cuffs turned 18, so she was of legal age to attend more kink parties where she said she was able to explore more. It was at one of those gatherings she met a “submissive,” or a person who submits to another, usually under the framework of BDSM lifestyle.
“It was incredible because almost immediately, he became a client and I became their pro-domme,” she said.
A pro-domme is in reference to a professional dominatrix, or a person who is trained in the art of female domination for BDSM role play in exchange for a fee. After doing some research, Cuffs said she realized the role was ideal in helping her gain agency over her body. It was also a great way to earn money.
“Initially I didn’t know what a pro-domme was, but he offered me $200 to step on him, and I was like, yeah, I guess I’m a pro-domme,” she said laughingly. “I thought, if I can make money doing this and kind of, like, pull myself out of poverty, then why not? That’s the route I decided to take. At that time, it was survival. I wasn’t doing well in life. I wasn’t where a 17, almost 18-year-old would normally be.”
Understandably, the then teen had to grow up fast to adapt to the fast-paced adult entertainment industry. At one point she even found herself homeless. But she quickly learned the ropes.
Through her pro-domme work, Cuffs put herself through college debt-free, earning a finance and business management degree. It was through the coursework Cuffs learned she had a knack for organization and project management. She then started throwing her own kink parties, organized large scale sex-positive events, and years later transitioned out of BDSM work into the nightlife industry full-time.
“Over the years, everyone kept telling me how safe they felt at my kink parties, and they wanted to see more from me, so I branched out into traditional nightlife.” It was a seamless transition, mostly because of the core concepts she’d learned in her pro-domme work.
“There’s something in BDSM called negotiations where you go back and forth talking to each other to communicate how they’d like the sexual encounter to flow, or the way they want to be touched, and concepts like that.” Through those conversations, she said she learned how to bargain and affectively communicate what she wanted, even in business.
Over time, Cuffs has made it her mission to help dispel harmful misconceptions about BDSM and sexual taboos in the Black community.
“When I was single, men I connected with didn’t understand my career,” she shared. Although Cuffs is now happily married, she reflected on the times her profession was misconstrued for prostitution by those she dated. “They would be like, ‘dominatrix? No, you fucking people for money.’ No, I’m not, actually. I’m getting paid to dominate somebody. I’d have to kind of like break it down and explain it. And believe it or not, some of the Black folks I’ve dated in the past actually got into this lifestyle through me by just learning and being open to things we think are just for white people. So there’s this idea that, ‘oh, that’s white people shit. We don’t do that. They do that. But we can own our sexual selves too.”
Now, Cuffs owns a class space that teaches people, and has owned two BDSM dungeons in years past. This is notable as the sexual entertainment industry is largely gate-kept by non-minorities. Cuffs also curates parties for people to not only explore sexually but to have fun in a myriad of ways.
“I’ve always wanted to create the type of environment for others I didn’t always have growing up: a safe and inclusive one,” Cuffs shared. “I’m in the business of breaking all the barriers. Owning what Black women were told we shouldn’t. I’m plus-sized, Black, queer and a former domme,” she said, pausing. “My message is specifically for Black women. Don’t listen to these clowns. Keep doing you and make your money.”
Fox, now 32, started working in a ‘basement dungeon’ at age 18, where she would be paid to fulfill men’s fantasies
While she didn’t have intercourse with her clients, she said the ‘humiliating’ job made her ‘disassociate’ and left her looking at sex as a ‘one-sided’ and ‘trivial’ act
She said she ‘doesn’t see the point’ of getting intimate if she ‘doesn’t need anything’ from the man. Ratajkowski, on the other hand, said that she ‘likes sex’
Fox said she gets more joy out of taking the plant-based psychedelic ayahuasca – a drug that’s brewed into a tea and can cause one to hallucinate
Fox added that the job taught her she could ‘get money or recourses from men’ at a young age, and left her ‘damaged’ because of the ‘power’ they had over her
She also said that since having her son in January 2021, she feels like she ‘doesn’t need to put up with the bulls**t that comes with being around guys’ anymore
USA – .Kanye West‘s ex Julia Fox said she doesn’t like sex and is ‘desensitized’ to it because of her past career as a dominatrix – and revealed she’d rather take the plant-based psychedelic ‘ayahuasca and see God’ than be intimate.
Fox, now 32, previously revealed that she started working in a ‘basement dungeon’ at age 18, where she would be paid to fulfill men’s fantasies.
And now, she has opened up about how the ‘humiliating’ job forced her to ‘disassociate’ as a ‘survival mechanism’ – which left her looking at sex as a ‘one-sided’ and ‘trivial’ act even now, years later.
‘Sex for me always has been one-sided but I think all women can say that. So it’s like, if I don’t really need anything from you, I don’t see the point,’ she told her pal Emily Ratajkowski during a recent appearance on her podcast High Low with EmRata.
‘I’m really desensitized to sex, too. Like it just, it’s not thrilling for me.’
Ratajkowski, on the other hand, said that she ‘likes sex,’ to which Fox added, ‘See, I don’t. I can go without. I’m like, so good.’
‘I think when you’re sexualized so young, people think you’re really sexual,’ Ratajkowski added in response to Fox’s claims about intimacy.
‘And that’s always been a thing [since] you were a dominatrix and everything.’
Fox explained that she gets more joy out of taking ayahuasca – a South American drug that’s usually brewed into a tea and can cause one to ‘trip’ or hallucinate.
‘I wanna take ayahuasca and see God. To me that’s thrilling,’ she added. ‘That’s cool. [Sex] just seems so trivial to me.’
According to Healthline, ayahuasca is made from the leaves of the Psychotria viridis shrub along with the stalks of the Banisteriopsis caapi vine.
‘This drink was used for spiritual and religious purposes by ancient Amazonian tribes and is still used as a sacred beverage by some religious communities in Brazil and North America, including the Santo Daime,’ it explained.
‘The main ingredients of ayahuasca – Banisteriopsis caapi and Psychotria viridis -both have hallucinogenic properties.
‘When combined, these two plants form a powerful psychedelic brew that affects the central nervous system, leading to an altered state of consciousness that can include hallucinations, out-of-body experiences, and euphoria.’
While the actress never had intercourse with her clients, she admitted that the ‘transactional’ relationships with them taught her that she could ‘get money or recourses from men’ at a young age, but left her ‘damaged’ because of the ‘power’ they had over her.
‘It’s tough because yeah I’m OK, you know? But there’s been a lot of damage done,’ she continued.
‘I pretty much, in my teens, learned that I was a commodity and that I can get money or resources from men, so then it just became this game of, OK, how do I become more desirable so I could get more money and I could be like that b***h.
‘It’s still them giving me the power. It’s not my own power, you know? So it’s a humiliating kind of position to be in or humbling, rather.
‘Especially when you’re not in it anymore and you look back and you’re like, “Oh my god, I can’t believe…”‘
She said she was even forced to ‘disassociate’ during some of the interactions, adding, ‘It’s crazy but it’s a survival mechanism. We do it to live, which is insane.’
Fox previously told Paper magazine that during her job as a dominatrix, she was asked to perform as various roles like an ‘evil teacher, domineering mother, nun, or nurse.’
‘The headmistress – who’s like a manager -she would be like, “He has this specific fetish,” you know, whatever,’ she told the outlet.
‘Sometimes you get to meet them beforehand in a little consultation room, but a lot of the time, not really.
‘You just go in blindly with a little bit of knowledge and you just stretch it and make the most of it, you know?’
She added to Paper that the job did have some positives, as it taught her ‘self worth and self esteem’ because the men would treat her like a ‘f**king Goddess.’
‘My clients adored me — literally let me piss on them and do whatever I wanted,’ she said.
‘And then on top of that, they’d pay me and bring me gifts and treat me like a f**king goddess.
‘Like, I didn’t even know what to do with that. I had been treated like s**t by men my entire life, so I didn’t know that there was more.’
Fox’s job as a dominatrix, which earned her $250 an hour, helped her launch her career as an actress.
She told Alex Cooper on her Call Her Daddy podcast, ‘When people ask how did I get my start in acting, I’m like, “At the dungeon,” because I would have to improv multiple times a day, on very short notice.’
Fox is best known for her role in Adam Sandler’s Netflix movie Uncut Gems, but she also starred in the flick No Sudden Move and wrote and directed the short film Fantasy Girls. She has also flourished in the modeling industry – posing for big brands and magazines like Playboy, Diesel, Coach, Supreme, Vogue, V, Paper, and Interview, among others.
Milan, Italy-born Fox made headlines for her brief relationship with West, 45, which kicked off after they met at a party on New Year’s Eve in 2021. But the whirlwind romance fizzled out just two months later, in February 2022.
And she told Ratajkowski that the attention she received from dating the rapper impacted her career – but ‘not in a good way.’
‘After the big relationship, I definitely noticed a shift in the acting way, not in a good way,’ she explained.
‘I’m not getting as many offers as I was before, weirdly. There’s been a lot of weird drawbacks with reaching that level of notoriety.’
The brunette beauty said that she felt that people in the entertainment business think she might be a ‘liability’ and ‘tabloid type of person’ now. But she added that she was undeterred by temporary setbacks and just had ‘to trust the process.’
‘It’s fine, I’m so busy. I think things come to you at the right time, so that’s why I’m really not stressing. I really don’t care,’ she added.
Before she was linked to West, she was married to a pilot named Peter Artemiev, whom she shares a one-year-old son, named Valentino, with. And she explained to Ratajkowski that having a baby changed the way she looks at men.
‘Prior to having Valentino, whenever I would meet a guy or date a guy, I would always think, “OK, I could have a baby with him.” Like that was always my thought,’ she explained.
‘It was never like because I was in love or anything, if that makes sense … I was like nesting.
‘That was kind of always my end goal, so I think when I had Valentino it was like, “OK I’m done, I don’t need to put up with the bulls**t that comes with being around you guys anyway.”‘
While Fox said that she no longer cares about finding a guy, she admitted that she spent years ‘catering to the male gaze.’
‘I really do not get dressed with men in mind at all. At all, at all. Like I really couldn’t care less,’ she continued.
‘But there was a time in my life where maybe I didn’t have that thought per se, but I definitely subconsciously was catering to the male gaze, you know? But I was also like in survival mode. I had to.’
Fox’s comments about ayahuasca come hours after ESPN’s Robert Griffin III claimed that football player Aaron Rodgers’ use of the drug is the reason that his team, the Green Bay Packers have lost five straight games in a row.
Rodgers admitted to using ayahuasca during the 2020 and 2022 off-seasons.
‘In order for [the Green Bay Packers] to dig themselves out of this hole, they need the best version of Aaron Rodgers,’ Griffin told his ESPN co-hosts on Monday.
‘And right now, that ayahuasca seems like it has him in a completely different world.’
Other celebrities who have admitted to using the drug includes Chelsea Handler, Will Smith, Megan Fox, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus, and Susan Sarandon, among others.
SOUTG AFRICA – Trends and fetishes in the world of sex are common but some of these can be challenging. Peeing during sex or watching someone pee during sex is one such fetish.
So why does your partner want to pee on you or watch you pee during sex?
Let’s understand the who’s and why’s before moving on to what you can do about it!
THE PEE FETISH OR ‘GOLDEN SHOWER’
A pee fetish, also known as urophilia, is a REAL thing.
Urophilia combines bathroom habits and sex – two things society doesn’t really enjoy discussing.
Times of India reports that there are people who relate sexual excitement with urine.
Partners who don’t enjoy urinating on others may enjoy watching their partner urinate in front of them – it’s a type of intimacy many long for.
WHY DOES URINE TURN CERTAIN PEOPLE ON?
It’s not exactly clear why urine turns some people on but it could be related to the enjoyment of being defiled, as some reports say.
Another reason is that it is taboo, wild and uncommon but doesn’t have any serious risk factors or pain.
While many consider it gross, some believe it’s wanting more from a certain person.
IF YOU DON’T LIKE IT, HERE’S WHAT YOU CAN DO
If you’re really not keen on being peed on or having someone pee on you, seeking therapy is a great choice.
Urophilia is not considered normal and is often forbidden by many.
If you accidentally pee during sex, you can seek the assistance of a doctor who can guide you through ways of stopping this.
There are always ways to make life easier, just remember not to pressure yourself!
DO YOU PEE IN THE SHOWER? WELL, IT’S NOT AS SAFE AS YOU THINK…
In related news, it was previously reported that peeing in the shower is far more common than one would think.
Some may relieve themselves without even thinking about it and some environmentally-conscious people tend to do it on purpose.
Water conservation aside, if you pee in the shower you may think it’s safe and sanitary but this isn’t entirely true.
YOUR PEE IS NOT STERILE AND CONTAINS A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT BACTERIA
Some may relieve themselves without even thinking about it and some environmentally-conscious people tend to do it on purpose.
Water conservation aside, peeing in the shower may not be as safe or as sanitary as people believe.
A 2014 study showed that urine is in fact, NOT sterile. It contains a number of different types of bacteria.
Some of these include Streptococcus and Staphylococcus which are associated with strep throat and staph infections.
While bacteria counts tend to be lower in healthy pee, they may be higher if you are suffering from a urinary tract infection (UTI).
YOU MAY ACCIDENTALLY CONDITION YOURSELF TO PEE WHEN HEARING A CERTAIN SOUND
Another thing to note when constantly peeing in the shower is conditioning a response you may not always want.
Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas, MD, says that you may be accidentally conditioning yourself to urinate on command of the sound of the nozzle spraying, reports Best Life.
“If you pee in the shower, or turn on the faucet or turn on the shower and then sit on the toilet to pee while the shower is running, you’re creating an association in the brain between the sound of running water and having to pee,” Jeffrey-Thomas said.
DON’T FORGET TO BE CONSIDERATE IF YOU SHARE YOUR SPACE!
So if you’re the only one using your shower, you could probably be safe peeing there too – as long as it’s regularly cleaned.
If you’re sharing a shower, discuss your peeing habits before you decide to let it all out.
And if you’re using a public shower, be considerate to those who may come in after you and go straight to the loo.
UK – HAMMERSMITH – A killer who confessed to the bondage murder of a barman found naked and tied up in his Kensington apartment 42 years ago has been jailed for 19 years.
John Paul, 61, battered 42-year-old Anthony Bird with pieces of wood before leaving him unconscious and tied up in his flat in Bentley Court, Kensington Square in June 1980.
Mr Paul walked into Hammersmith Police Station and reported his horrific crime to an officer on 5 May last year.
Asked what he had done he replied simply: ‘Murder.’
Mr Paul denied murder, despite the confession, but he was convicted by an Old Bailey jury on 24 October.
The judge, Mrs Justice Cheema-Grubb jailed Paul for life and ordered he serve a minimum of 19 years in prison.
Jurors had heard details of the confession during the two week trial.
Asked what happened, he told one officer: ‘I see a man, he approached me and he’s just speaking to me and just talked me into having sex with him.
‘He took me back to his place.
‘I tied him with cord. I think the cord was black I’m not sure.
‘I tied him with a cord, his ankles, his hands, his arms, on the bed naked.
‘There was a piece of wood, a piece of wood, I used the piece of wood to batter him.
‘Knocked him unconscious.’
Officers investigated whether there was a record of an unsolved killing of a man at around the same time and location as Paul was reporting, the court heard.
The unsolved killing of Mr Bird was deemed ‘worth a look’ and that afternoon, Paul was arrested for the murder.
The 61-year-old was admitted as an inpatient at Hillingdon Hospital the next day while police investigated.
Judge Cheema-Grubb said: ‘Mr Bird’s friends say he was in the habit of having sex with strangers he met on the street.
‘He met you, a 19-year-old walking around the street having recently left a borstal. I am sure that you intended to steal from him.
‘You were aware that he was after sex but you had no intention of engaging.
‘He undressed and you used a flex to tie him up at his request.
‘He was now defenceless and vulnerable. In order to ensure he didn’t cry out for help you hit him over the head until he was unconscious.
‘His death would have been caused by rendering him unconscious while in that position with his knees up and his airways comprised.
‘Mr Bird approached you looking for an intimate connection and you decided it was something you could use and exploit.
‘I take into account the enormous burden that mental illness has been to you for at least the past 20 years and will continue to affect your life and the manner in which you endure the sentence.’
The judge said she was obliged to consider what the sentence would have been if it was committed in 2022 and what it would have been if he was sentenced 20 years ago.
Paul’s defence lawyer Tama Adkien said he had shown as much remorse as was possible given his schizophrenia.
In a victim impact statement read to court, Mr Bird’s sister-in-law Gillian Bird said: ‘I was married to Tony’s brother Richard for 63 years, who sadly passed way in November 2021.
‘Myself and my family remember hearing about the murder very vividly.
‘I recall the family being at the local village fair when a tannoy came out for Richard.
‘Two policeman arrived to tell us he had been murdered, but they didn’t know who had been responsible.
‘At the time we were shocked and traumatised by the circumstances of his death.
‘We were never told any information about how he had been murdered.
‘Tony’s Mum Pauline was so shocked and upset at not being able to bury him for six months.
‘It was awful for her having to wait six months to lay him for rest. We never got any reason for this at the time.
‘Pauline died six years later. She was always a fighter and we have no doubt her death was hastened by the fact Tony had been murdered. They had always been in frequent contact.
‘Tony was a remote relative living alone in London, but it was still difficult to know his life had ended in that way, and made worse by the fact we never had any answer to what really happened to him.
‘Now 42 years on we can have some peace of mind knowing the perpetrator has been found guilty and convicted of this heinous crime.
‘Having seen Mr Paul in the dock of the court we would like to say we feel no hatred for him and feel sorry for him, having some sympathy for his current circumstances.’
‘Mr Bird lived in that flat alone,’ said John Price, prosecuting at the trial.
‘He was a homosexual man, and it was known amongst his friends that he would frequently pick up men in the street and pay them for sex.
‘His next-door neighbour whom the police took a statement back during the first investigation spoke of frequent male visitors to his flat.’
Mr Bird was out in Queensway, on 3 June 1980, when he came across some friends and told them that ‘he had his eye on a black lad’ before following him.
‘Amongst those who knew him, Tony Bird was never to be seen alive again,’ the prosecutor said.
Mr Bird was due to work shifts at the Railway Tap pub that week and that the pub’s landlord became concerned when he failed to show up.
The police were eventually called on 6 June after a member of staff received no reply when he was sent to knock on Mr Bird’s door.
‘Police officers went to the flat on that Friday and they too knocked on the door. Again, there was no reply,’ Mr Price said.
‘The front door was securely locked and so, obviously by now fearing for Mr Bird’s safety, they had to use a sledgehammer to force it open.
‘The curtains were fully drawn in the living room of the flat. The room was in a dishevelled state as if, so it seemed to them, it had been ransacked.
‘There was a sideboard with nothing on it, though they noted that there were patterns in the dust marks which indicated that objects…had recently been moved.
‘They went into the bedroom. On the bed, they found the lifeless body of Tony Bird.
‘He was naked. He was lying on his side. His knees were tucked up and his legs were crossed.
‘There was black electrical flex bound tightly around his left wrist and around his left ankle. There was also the mark of a cord around his right wrist.
‘There were numerous marks and apparent bruising to a number of places on his body.’
A post-mortem in 1980 found multiple sites of blunt force injury on Mr Bird’s body including bruising on his head, jaw, chest, thighs and the base of his penis, as well as a neck bone fracture.
Pathologist Rufus Crompton found the injuries were consistent with the use of ‘billets of wood’.
Dr Crompton also believed the cause of death was ‘manual strangulation’ but this was not the case.
The court heard fingerprints taken from the scene decades ago, which were previously unattributed, matched Paul’s prints.
Paul was charged with the murder on 27 May last year.
Porter and part-time barman Anthony Bird, 42, was found naked with his wrists bound, at his flat in Kensington Gardens Square, west London, on June 6 1980.
His murder remained a mystery for 41 years, until John Paul, 61, confessed to police last year that he had ‘battered him’ with a lump of wood.
Paul, of Maida Vale, west London, denied murder and an alternative charge of manslaughter at his trial at the Old Bailey.
It was claimed his confession to the killing was not reliable and that even if he was responsible, he did not intend to do Mr Bird really serious harm.
An Old Bailey jury deliberated for half a day before finding Paul guilty of murder.
On Friday, Mrs Cheema-Grubb jailed him at the Old Bailey for life with a minimum term of 19 years.
She said: ‘It was merciless and motivated by a wish to take that which did not belong to you.
‘I have no doubt this was a murder done for gain. You decided he was a target you could exploit.’
Previously, John Price KC said Mr Bird was last seen alive late on the night of June 3 1980, in the Queensway area of west London.
He told friends he ‘had his eye on a black lad’ and had hurried after him, the court heard.
After Mr Bird failed to turn up for work at the Railway Tap pub, police were called to his one-bedroom flat, jurors heard.
Officers used a sledgehammer to smash into the property and found that it appeared to have been ‘ransacked’, Mr Price said.
The prosecutor told jurors: ‘The officers went into the bedroom. On the bed they found the lifeless body of Tony Bird. He was naked. He was lying on his side. His knees were tucked up and his legs were crossed.
‘Black electrical flex was bound tightly around his left wrist and around his left ankle. There was the mark of a cord around his right wrist. There were numerous marks and apparent bruising on his body.’
The court was told two planks of wood were found at the scene.
Mr Price told jurors that following his confession, Paul’s fingerprints were taken and matched to evidence from the crime scene.
In a victim impact statement, Mr Bird’s family said they were left ‘devastated, shocked and traumatised’ by his death.
SOUTH AFRICA – PRETORIA – More than 16,000 people attended a sex expo in South Africa’s capital, Pretoria, this weekend, where visitors were invited to browse a wide array of sex toys, watch adult entertainment shows and attend talks by sex experts and therapists.
Under the low red lights of a large exhibition hall, everything is on display – from bondage demonstrations to kink and fetish exhibitions, strip shows, a portrait-painting penile artist, and AI companion robots that warm up to human touch.
South Africa is generally considered to be a sexually conservative country due to religious beliefs, cultural views and sexual education. Some visitors to the sex expo, an annual event, said they came because they were curious to learn more.
“(Sex) is something that people don’t want to know is happening… in a way we grew up not learning to speak freely or just explore,” said attendee Kholofelo Mukudu, 40.
NETHERLANDS – EMMEN/HEEMSKERK – After a few years of silence, BDSMradio.EU is back with weekly live broadcasts that you can watch and listen to right away.
On Sunday, January 1, Alwin & Nathaly will bite the bullet with their weekly live broadcasts between 8-11 p.m. You can chat with them on the screen and of course request requests, you can also call in live with the number on the screen. The shows are in dutsch but we can speak english.
On Wednesdays from 4 January I (tom Verhoeven) can be heard and seen between 21-23 hours.
You can also participate in the broadcast via the chat in the screen and/or request requests. But that is also possible via Facebook BDSMradioEU or via my personal page on and Twitter @BDSMradioplay. We are ON Fetlife as an event and of course you can always make friends with all the DJs on BDSM Radio. The shows are in dutch but i can speak some stonecole english.
For the rest there is a quiz where you can win a nice thing, BDSM News from the Media and, if available, a BDSM story. Do you have a compelling story? Send it to BDSMradioEU@hotmail.com.
HEEMSKERK – I (tom Verhoeven) have a live test audio/video on this moment. When my ugly face is in the picture, You can chat also. As soon as I notice your message, I'll give a yell on the radio.
BEWARE OF CHATTERS:
You have to login with FB profile and I can't delete messages. So a gap in the software. You can always respond via FB and Fetlife. Search for: BDSMradioEU
Have kinky fun!!!
Greetings,
tom verhoeven
Listen and see:
https://mixcloud.com/live/BDSMradioEU
UKRAINE – As countries across Europe review their radiation pill supplies under the looming threat of a nuclear attack by Vladimir Putin, Ukrainians have decided to respond with humour – and plan an orgy on a hill outside Kyiv.
More than 15,000 people have subscribed to “Orgy on Shchekavystsa: Official”, which was set up on the 26th of September, and the intention is to head there in the event of a nuclear attack – as opposed to finding the nearest bunker.
The opening post told members to decorate their hands with stripes to designate what their interests were ahead of visiting the hill – three strips symbolises anal sex, and four means oral sex. They then posted: “They say that all the apartments with a view of Shchekavystsa have for some reason disappeared from real estate sites.”
Radio Free Europe interviewed a local woman about the group, who said: “It’s the opposite of despair. Even in the worst-case scenario, people will look for something good. That’s the mega-optimism of Ukrainians.”
A man said: “It’s an attempt to show that the more they try to scare us, the more we will transform it into something else.”
The Telegram group posts updates about the Russian war, in which the Ukrainian military’s counteroffensive efforts in Kherson have recently been described as “BDSM parties for Russians”. An image of the Ukrainian army’s advance was called a “masturbation photo” in the group.
When an air alarm sounded on the 30th of September, they posted: “Is it time?” with a smiley face. 582 people responded, also with smiley faces.
Ukrainian comedian Verka Serduchka posted in support of the Telegram group four days ago.
Kyiv has also made an effort to protect itself from a possible nuclear blast; pharmacies are stocked with radiation pills and basements are open to act as shelters if needed.
Beyond’s Ukraine’s borders, countries like Poland have also spent recent weeks delivering pills to pharmacies around the country and more will be arriving in the coming days.
But even countries further afield are beginning to worry; local media in Cyprus reports that iodine pills are not available on the island, and that pharmacists only had dietary iodine supplements available, which do not provide protection in the case of a nuclear event.
The Times on Monday reported that Nato was believed to have warned its members that Putin could stage a nuclear test on Ukraine’s borders.
In the meantime, the orgy Telegram group keeps posting and there now appear to be splinter groups, with one declaring an orgy on Derybasivska Street in Odessa. Yesterday, Elon Musk posted on Twitter with his controversial suggestions for ending the Russian invasion, which the Kremlin went on to praise the Tesla boss for.
Orgy on Shchekavystsa responded by posting: “Official statement: As of today, Elon Musk is persona non grata in Shchekavystsa.”
UK – National Kink Day is fast approaching so – to mark the event – a dating app revealed what singletonsare known to enjoy in the bedroom. From BDSM to feet fetishes – there are many things that turn people on
A dating app revealed the most popular kinks singletons are experimenting with – and a lot of people are getting frisky with feet.
It’s National Kink Day on Thursday, October 6, and the entire day will be devoted to celebrating consensual sexual activity, kinks and experimentation.
This is why hook-up app Tapdat’s Creative Director Alice Leach revealed some of the most popular sex kinks found on the app, and also explained why being honest about your kinks is the key to pleasure.
TapDat is the free-to-download pro-sex hook-up app which aims to remove the stigma around sex, sexual health and wellbeing.
USA – BROOKLYN – For Mistress Marley, a Brooklyn dominatrix, insulting men is a highly enjoyable part of her job — but she gets even more of a kick out of putting them on a leash and walking them around the streets.
Unsurprisingly, she often attracts attention during these trips; one person recently yelled: “You better work it,” as she ordered her “finsubs” to kiss her feet and thank her every time she called them “good boys.”
Finsubs — short for financial submissives, who are most commonly known as “pay pigs” — take pleasure in the humiliation of sending women money without expecting anything in return.
Being a femdom, short for female dominatrix, is what you make it. It is a feeling of power that a woman steps into to curate an intense experience between herself and a submissive subject, Marley told Insider. She stressed that it should always be between two consenting adults who truly love the art and journey of BDSM, which stands for bondage, discipline, sadism, and masochism.
Marley, whose real name is known to Insider, said: “A lot of these pay pigs are used to being in power in their everyday lives. So even if it’s just for an hour, five minutes, 10 minutes, they want to feel like they have no power.
“It’s psychological. So for a lot of people, they get off by knowing that it’s a thrill. They get off by knowing they just did something embarrassing. And by embarrassing, I mean them just sending someone money that they’ll never meet in person. They get nothing in exchange.”
‘This is who I am’
Marley got a master’s degree in fashion marketing in 2018. She quickly realized after finding a job in fashion as a buyer for a large corporation that she wasn’t earning as much as she’d hoped, so she googled: “How to make money as a woman online.”
After landing on a few articles about femdoms, she dug further and logged on to Twitter to get a sense of what the community was like. She was surprised that there were no Black women.
“That stuck out to me,” she said. “I was just like, ‘OK, why aren’t women that look like me doing this?'”
She’s always been a confident person, she said, whether as a child in middle school or as an adult performing at brunch parties.
“I was always that girl that was wearing crazy outfits. I always had all the attention on me. So when I go to perform, it comes off natural. Like, sometimes for me, it’s not even performance. It’s just who I am,” she said.
Marley, who’s proclaimed herself the Beyoncé of BDSM, couldn’t find a Black femdom when she got curious, so she decided to become one.
Insider verified screenshots of Marley’s earnings since May this year, which amounted to $78,615 across various platforms, including OnlyFans or iWantClips.
One morning, just before 10 a.m., she checked one of her accounts and saw she had received a $150 tip accompanied by a message from a 58-year-old man, which read: “I’m truly grateful for your royal permission to rub your feet. I am so unworthy of it. Would you consider sending me a custom POV of you commanding and allowing me to rub your feet — PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I am begging you.
“Humbly your white dog.”
‘I learned everything on my own’
Marley also cares about other femdoms finding success. She teaches people how to work safely and with consent.
“There are so many people that try to pop up as femdoms without the proper knowledge, and a lot of them drop it within a week,” she said. “I try to be that person that teaches them how to keep going and going so that they can make a successful brand and have submissives from all over the world.”
“When I came in, I didn’t have a mentor. I had to learn everything on my own, and it was really hard,” she said. “Now I refuse to let anyone else go through this.”
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