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Melissa Todd: Author, news reader, editor and dominatrix

UK – KENT – Melissa Todd is a bright, engaging, articulate, well-spoken married mum-of-one who attended Boris Johnson’s old college at Oxford University.

See more and larger photo’s on: Kentonline.co.uk

She is a newsreader for Thanet-based Academy FM, edits the Broadstairs Beacon newspaper and also runs a theatre company. Oh, and she’s a dominatrix who, not to beat around the bush, charges £100 an hour to give men a damn good spanking.

“I get some very very odd requests,” she admits. “I was told to park on somebody’s hands. I didn’t do that. I thought where the hell has that come from? I’m rubbish at parking.

“He wanted me to be in my car, singing along to the radio while he was screaming in agony. That was odd.”

And who are we to argue?

A stripper from the age of 19, Melissa made a career change 11 years later.

“By the time I was 30,” she explains, “I thought I didn’t want to become a ridiculously ancient stripper so I thought I’d hang up my g-string and pick up a crop and start whacking people instead.”

Today Melissa supplements her “one-to-one disciplinary sessions” with posing for photos or making videos of a very adult nature.

“I sound like this and I look terribly demure,” she explains in her middle-class tones. “I sound like an average mousey housewife.

“But there are so many negative stereotypes around sex work and it just seems to be getting worse and worse – ‘they’re victims, pathetic and corrupting society’, and all the rest of it, but they’re just people, with lives and stories.”

In an effort to try to challenge the perception of the sex industry Melissa has written a book – released on November 16 – called My Body Is My Business. Based around “a fictional framework”, it draws heavily on her own experiences.

Now 45 and having lived in Thanet since 2003, Melissa is bold and fearless in the career she has chosen. Incredibly, she even convinced her mother to follow in her footsteps.

“She was a dominatrix as well,” she admits.

“I corrupted her. She got made redundant in her mid-60s and thought ‘I could do that’ and she was really good at it. She was very good at role play too.

“I was working out of her house, as my son was a bit younger then, so she’d often hide upstairs with a baseball bat just in case, so she’d hear it all happening. And she thought ‘wow, this is brilliant – £100 an hour, why am I messing about?’ And they absolutely loved her.”

Speaking to Melissa is a rather disarming experience. The image of the exploited sex worker falling victim to the depravities of men seems a long way from what she has experienced and the genuine enthusiasm with which she speaks of her chosen career.

“I’ve honestly not seen any exploitation in 26 years,” she says. “I’m sure it’s out there, but its certainly not the only story.

“Most of the film companies I work for are all run by women – and that’s not a choice I’ve made. I’m happy to work with men, but all the spanking content is being made by women currently so I just don’t see any exploitation happening. It’s certainly not been my experience at all. And I think I would have seen it.”

To be clear, she offers “no sexual services at all” adding: “It’s just a good whacking. All the sex happens in their head.”

Happily married, her husband thinks her sex career is “hilarious”and her son – now an adult – is well aware of how his mum earns her income.

Yet safety remains a concern. She recently tweeted about one encounter with a new client: “Always an anxiety-inducing moment when a new man ties you up. This one decided to tell me he was a policeman just as he gagged me. Maybe that’s meant to reassure.”

In the light of the Sarah Everard case, it’s chilling in many ways.

“I was genuinely nervous,” she admits when I ask her about it. “I hadn’t seen that man before, so it was probably a bit idiotic really to allow him to tie me up. But he had worked with other girls that I knew. Of course you are putting yourself in a vulnerable position. I completely trusted him actually. And I wasn’t suspended from a ceiling so if I needed to get away, I could have wriggled free. It was mainly for a photo shoot.

“But there is always a bit of ‘oh Christ, is this is going to be the day I die’ but so far, those who like spanking tend to be lovely, they really do.

“It’s a fetish which tends to belong to clever, creative people, as obviously turning pain into pleasure takes quite a lot of brains and imagination. I’ve always been fine and hopefully will remain so, but yeah, I probably should have been a bit more sensible.

“It was only when he told me he was a police officer I thought ‘oh no!’. But he was lovely.

“Most of the problems I had have been with women. If I’m going to get any abuse it tends to be from women on stripper-grams. My agent always used to say if you need the loo on a stripper-gram job use the men’s as the women will punch you if they get the chance.

“I had stones thrown at me by women when I was working in Southall. Men are always very happy when you’re naked, is my experience; women are very cross!

‘Men are always very happy when you’re naked is my experience; women are very cross!’

“What’s the problem? I’m just making a living. I don’t know why they’re so unhappy.

“I’m not the enemy. There’s nothing special about me. I’m not particularly attractive, I breast-fed for four years so my breasts aren’t even worth seeing, I’m just using what I’ve got to have some fun and make a living. The idea I’m going to try and steal your husband is like a nursery worker wanting to steal your kid. You’re just using them for cash. There’s nothing to be frightened of.”

Melissa got into the sex industry as a student.

“I was at Oxford University reading philosophy, politics and economics at Balliol College, Boris Johnson’s old college, and I just hated it. I didn’t fit in. I was a really shy girl from an Essex comprehensive and it just wasn’t the right place for me at all. You need to be very confident and out-there to do well at Oxford and that wasn’t me. So I decided to take a year out.

“I saw an advertisement in the Evening Standard saying ‘dancers wanted’ and promising up to £600 a night, no experience necessary. I thought that sounded perfect as I have no experience of anything, I love money and I like dancing. I was so green I turned up for the audition in leg-warmers. I thought it was going to be something like Fame.

“The auditions consisted of walking on stage, getting your breasts out and walking off again. There was no routine to learn. I didn’t get it that time, but the next time I got the idea – borrowed some stockings and underwear, went back on and got the job.

“I loved it. I loved the camaraderie, the sequins and the glitter balls and the champagne. And I never looked back.”

That first job was at the famous The Windmill strip club in Soho.

“It was only meant to be a year but I never stopped,” Melissa explained. “You just get used to the compliments, the fun and the money. Obviously, that was exciting. I never quite got to £600 – I used to chat to people too much I forgot to hustle. But I was making £200 a night, so that’s £1,200 a week, which in 1994 for a 19-year-old was an awful lot of money.

“I bought a house, I learned to drive, I gave my mum some money because she was skint. I just liked the lifestyle and enjoyed showing off.

“They had very strict rules in place, bouncers everywhere; when you did a table dance you had to be three feet away from the client and no touching. It was very hard to get into trouble really. There was a house mother who looked after us, made sure we didn’t get too drunk and gave us sandwiches. It was all terribly sweet actually.

“There were all sorts of women doing it. There were lots of Australian backpackers doing the world tour and financing it through stripping; lots of students and older women, single mums, women trying to set up their own business – there was someone trying to set up a florist company but she couldn’t make it pay so she was lap-dancing by night.”

So what did her parents make of her career choice?

“They were very relaxed about it,” Melissa remembers. “Despite my accent I don’t come from a respectable background, so there was no expectation I should do anything steady or sensible.

“My mum sang and danced in cabaret all over the world, and thought my making money by showing off was a very sensible plan. My dad drove a black cab and used to pick me up from the Windmill at 3.30am every night, where we would have a friendly competition as to who’d managed to collect the most cash during the evening – usually it was him!”

After moving to the Sunset Strip Theatre in Soho, Melissa met “a chap who came looking to recruit girls for spanking magazines”.

“He auditioned me in the back of a shop; he gave me a spanking and I thought this is quite fun,” she recalls.

And thus her move out of stripping and into the world of domination began.

Needless to say, she’s had some odd requests – other than the previously mentioned one about parking.

Does she sometimes wonder just where on earth these desires come from?

“All the time,” she admits. “If they just want a standard beating I get that because I like spanking as well. But I get some very, very odd requests.

“I genuinely like my clients. Many are my friends, we hang out, I’ve counselled them through the death of their parents and the birth of their grandchildren. I think it’s incredibly brave to come to a stranger and say ‘I’ve got this weird fetish, I need to do this, can you help me?’.

“I might just laugh, or not understand or get it wrong. It’s a privilege to help, genuinely. I know that sounds like a lie, but it’s true.

“Do I enjoy it? I love it. I really do. It’s really creative. I like performing. I like spanking people. It’s really fun. It’s like a therapy really. A release for them as well as for me – it’s just brilliant.”

And Melissa hopes her book will go some way towards removing society’s knee-jerk despising of those who work in the industry.

“I’m really hoping to challenge those stereotypes and see that sex is just fun,” she says. “It’s not terrifying, it’s not dangerous, I’m not corrupting the universe. I’m just having a laugh.

‘Sex is just fun. It’s not terrifying, it’s not dangerous, I’m not corrupting the universe. I’m just having a laugh…’

“It’s probably about 5% of my life and 5% of my clients’ lives. But it just gives a bit of glamour and glitter to what, let’s face it, can be a pretty mundane, tedious way of getting through it.

“It’s just a giggle. To take it seriously is insane.”

Melissa Todd’s book, My Body Is My Business can be pre-ordered by clicking here.

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I didn’t derive any sexual pleasure from spitting; only psychological: Melissa Febos in ‘Girlhood’

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Sat, December 04, 2021 13:23:30

Source: Timesofindia.indiatimes.com

USA – American writer, professor Melissa Febos is best known for her debut book ‘Whip Smart’, a memoir which was published in 2010. In her memoir, Melissa opened up about her unconventional job as a professional dominatrix, a work which she did while she was studying at The New School. The book was critically acclaimed and it was followed by the essay collections ‘Abandon Me’ in 2017 and more recently ‘Girlhood’, which was published in India in September 2021 by Bloomsbury. While ‘Abandon Me’ was a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist, her third book ‘Girlhood’ became an instant bestseller in the USA. As the title suggests, ‘Girlhood’ is about what it really means to be female and what it means to free oneself from others expectations. “It is in part by writing this book that I have corrected the story of my own girlhood and found ways to recover myself. I have found company in the stories of other women, and the revelation of all our ordinariness has itself been curative. Writing has always been a way to reconcile my lived experience with the narratives available to describe it (or lack thereof). My hope is that these essays do some of that work for you, too,” Melissa writes in the prologue of the book.

See larger photo on: Timesofindia.indiatimes.com

American writer, professor Melissa Febos is best known for her debut book ‘Whip Smart’, a memoir which was published in 2010. In her memoir, Melissa opened up about her unconventional job as a professional dominatrix, a work which she did while she was studying at The New School. The book was critically acclaimed and it was followed by the essay collections ‘Abandon Me’ in 2017 and more recently ‘Girlhood’, which was published in India in September 2021 by Bloomsbury. While ‘Abandon Me’ was a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist, her third book ‘Girlhood’ became an instant bestseller in the USA. As the title suggests, ‘Girlhood’ is about what it really means to be female and what it means to free oneself from others expectations. “It is in part by writing this book that I have corrected the story of my own girlhood and found ways to recover myself. I have found company in the stories of other women, and the revelation of all our ordinariness has itself been curative. Writing has always been a way to reconcile my lived experience with the narratives available to describe it (or lack thereof). My hope is that these essays do some of that work for you, too,” Melissa writes in the prologue of the book.
Read an exclusive excerpt from Melissa Febos’ latest essay collection ‘Girlhood’ here:

KETTLE HOLES
“What do you like?” the men would ask. “Spitting,” I’d say. To even utter the word felt like the worst kind of cuss, and I trained myself not to flinch or look away or offer a compensatory smile after I said it. In the dungeon’s dim rooms, I unlearned my instinct for apology. I learned to hold a gaze. I learned the pleasure of cruelty.
It was not true cruelty, of course. My clients paid $75 an hour to enact their disempowerment. The sex industry is a service industry, and I served humiliation to order. But the pageant of it was the key. To spit in an unwilling face was inconceivable to me and still is. But at a man who had paid for it?

They knelt at my feet. They crawled naked across gleaming wood floors. They begged to touch me, begged for forgiveness. I refused. I leaned over their plaintive faces and gathered the wet in my mouth. I spat. Their hard flinch, eyes clenched. The shock of it radiated through my body, then settled, then swelled into something else.

“Do you hate men?” people sometimes asked.

“Not at all,” I answered.

“You must work out a lot of anger that way,” they suggested.

“I never felt angry in my sessions,” I told them. I often explained that the dominatrix’s most useful tool was a well-developed empathic sense. What I did not acknowledge to any curious stranger, or to myself, was that empathy and anger are not mutually exclusive.

We are all unreliable narrators of our own motives. And feeling something neither proves nor disproves its existence. Conscious feelings are no accurate map to the psychic imprint of our experiences; they are the messy catalog of emotions once and twice and thrice removed, often the symptoms of what we won’t let ourselves feel. They are not Jane Eyre’s locked-away Bertha Mason, but her cries that leak through the floorboards, the fire she sets while we sleep and the wet nightgown of its quenching.

I didn’t derive any sexual pleasure from spitting, I assured people. Only psychological. Now, this dichotomy seems flimsy at best. How is the pleasure of giving one’s spit to another’s hungry mouth not sexual? I needed to distinguish that desire from what I might feel with a lover. I wanted to divorce the pleasure of violence from that of sex. But that didn’t make it so.

It was the thrill of transgression, I said. Of occupying a male space of power. It was the exhilaration of doing the thing I would never do, was forbidden to do by my culture and by my conscience. I believed my own explanations, though now it is easy to poke holes in them.

I did not want to be angry. What did I have to be angry about? My clients sought catharsis through the reenactment of childhood traumas. They were hostages to their pasts, to the people who had disempowered them. I was no such hostage— I did not even want to consider it. I wanted only to be brave and curious and in control. I did not want my pleasure to be any kind of redemption. One can only redeem a thing that has already been lost or taken. I did not want to admit that someone had taken something from me.

His name was Alex, and he lived at the end of a long unpaved driveway off the same wooded road that my family did. It took ten minutes to walk between our homes, both of which sat on the bank of Deep Pond. Like many of the ponds on Cape Cod, ours formed some fifteen thousand years ago when a block of ice broke from a melting glacier and drove deep into the solidifying land of my future backyard. When the ice block melted, the deep depression filled with water and became what is called a kettle-hole lake.

Despite its small circumference, our pond plummeted fifty feet at its deepest point. My brother and I and all the children raised on the pond spent our summers getting wet, chasing one another through invented games, our happy screams garbled with water. I often swam out to the deepest point—not the center of the pond, but to its left—and trod water over this heart cavity. In summer, the sun warmed the surface to bath temperatures, but a few feet deeper it went cold. Face warm, arms flapping, I dangled my feet into that colder depth and shivered. Fifty feet was taller than any building in our town, was more than ten of me laid head to foot. It was a mystery big enough to hold a whole city. I could swim in it my whole life and never know what lay at its bottom.

An entry in my diary from age ten announces: “Today Alex came over and swam with us. I think he likes me.”

Alex was a grade ahead of me and a foot taller. He had a wide mouth, tapered brown eyes, and a laugh that brayed clouds in the chill of fall mornings at our bus stop. He wore the same shirt for four out of five school days, and I thought he was beautiful. I had known Alex for years, but that recorded swim is the first clear memory I have of him. A few months later, he spat on me for the first time.

When I turned eleven, I enrolled in the public middle school with all the other fifth-and sixth-graders in our town. The new bus stop was farther down the wooded road, where it ended at the perpendicular intersection of another. On that corner was a large house, owned by Robert Ballard, the oceanographer who discovered the wreck of the Titanic in 1985. Early in his career, Ballard had worked with the nearby Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, and it was during his deep- sea dives off the coast of Massachusetts that his obsession with shipwrecks was born. Sometimes I studied that house—its many gleaming windows and ivy-choked tennis court—and thought about the difference between Ballard and my father, who was a captain in the merchant marines. One man carried his cargo across oceans; the other ventured deep inside them to discover his. I was drawn to the romance of each: to slice across the glittering surface, and also to plunge into the cold depths. A stone wall wrapped around Ballard’s yard. Here, we
waited for the school bus.

I read books as I walked to the bus stop. Reading ate time. Whole hours disappeared in stretches. It shortened the length of my father’s voyages, moved me closer to his returns with every page. I was a magician with a single power: to disappear the world. I emerged from whole afternoons of reading, my life a foggy half-dream
through which I drifted as my self bled back into me like steeping tea.

The start of fifth grade marked more change than the location of my bus stop. My parents had separated that summer.

My body, that once reliable vessel, began to transform. But what emerged from it was no happy magic, no abracadabra. It went kaboom. The new body was harder to disappear.

“I wish people didn’t change sometimes,” I wrote in my diary. By people, I meant my parents. I meant me. I meant the boy who swam across that lake toward my new body with its power to compel but not control.

Before puberty, I moved through the world and toward other people without hesitance or self-consciousness. I read hungrily and kept lists of all the words I wanted to look up in a notebook with a red velvet cover. I still have the notebook. “Ersatz,” it reads. “Entropy. Mnemonic. Morass. Corpulent. Hoary.” I was smart and strong and my power lay in these things alone. My parents loved me well and mirrored these strengths back to me.

Perhaps more so than other girls’, my early world was a safe one. My mother banned cable TV and sugar cereals, and made feminist corrections to my children’s books with a Sharpie. When he was home from sea, my father taught me how to throw a baseball and a punch, how to find the North Star, and start a fire. I was protected from the darker leagues of what it meant to be female. I think now of the Titanic—not the familiar tragedy of its wreck, the scream of ice against her starboard flank, the thunder of seawater gushing through her cracked hull. I think of the short miracle of her passage. The 375 miles she floated, immaculate, across the Atlantic.
My early passage was a miracle, too. Like the Titanic’s, it did not last.

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Kim Petras says her latex VMAs mask was a protest against OnlyFans banning nudity

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Sat, October 23, 2021 01:16:58

‘The world needs sex workers, and the world needs sex.’

Source: Etalk.ca.

CANADA – We can all admit that Kim Petras is the princess of electro bubblegum pop, but we also must admit that she is an artist who is not afraid to showcase her stance on social issues. Instead of just posting an Instagram story defending sex workers utilizing OnlyFans as a new source of income, Kim, being the bold fearless artist she is, showcased her beliefs on the VMAs red carpet. Can we get a signature Kim Petras “Woo-Ah” in here?

See more and larger photo’s and video’s: Etalk.ca.

“At that time, the OnlyFans stuff was going down where they were banning sex workers,” Kim explained. “I am very sex-positive. The world needs sex workers, and the world needs sex. Anything that’s ‘taboo’ and considered as that by people, I want to push that and put that on the red carpet and be like ‘this can also be beautiful.’”

At the awards, Kim rocked a unique piece by the London-based designer, Richard Quinn. The look incorporated an intricate beaded dress that showcased a giant cross on the chest over top of a dominatrix black latex full-body suit.

At the time of the 2021 VMAs, OnlyFans announced it would be banning material deemed as sexually explicit. When the news started to make waves, many celebrities and influencers showed their support towards the sex industry, which caused OnlyFans to retract their statement only six days later via Twitter.

WATCH MORE: Fashion Friday – Kim Petras

“I spent my entire childhood on my computer dreaming of being a part of the world I wanted to be in and being an artist,” she said, reflecting on how she’s always dreamed of performing at the VMAs.

“Moving to LA with $500 by myself and then now performing at the VMAs – it was all worth it. It came true and that’s such a beautiful thing.”

Not only did Kim make a statement that night, but she also made history by being the first-ever transgender woman to perform at the coveted award show.

VMAs aside, Kim is dominating 2021 by making appearances at Lollapalooza and the fashion event of the year, The Met Gala. This year, she wore a Collina Strada dress paying homage to the designer’s inner horse girl by wearing a 3D horse on her chest.

When Kim Petras isn’t turning heads on red carpets, she is making the electrifying bops we truly need for our souls. She finally released the music video for the end-of-summer party anthem “Future Starts Now” and she gave us what we needed without leaving a drop.

“I’ve been working on being a good songwriter and would write ten songs a day after school.” A lot has changed since writing songs in her childhood bedroom. With her new musical era, she says, “this music deserves to be heard by as many people as possible and I think this is the right moment.”

When speaking of the process behind making the music video, “I need to climb the Eiffel tower and dance on it. That’s just an image that I had in my brain that I needed to happen no matter what.” We expect nothing less and that’s why we love you, Petras.

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‘UK’s oldest dominatrix’ (Mistress Sofia), 70, set up kinky ‘play room’ after chancing upon saucy talent

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Sat, October 23, 2021 00:51:37

Source: Dailystar.co.uk.

UK – Sherry Lever, aka Mistress Sofia, says she launched her career as a professional dominatrix after her ex-husband left her in financial difficulty. She turned her conservatory into a kinky ‘play room’ and the rest is history

See video and more larger photo’s on: Dailystar.co.uk.

A gran thought to be Britain’s oldest dominatrix has told how she turned her conservatory into a kinky ‘play room’ after struggling to pay the bills – and she’s doing better than ever.

Sherry Lever, also known a Mistress Sofia, says she was left feeling “financially embarrassed” after her marriage to her husband of 25 years broke down.

At the time, she was working as a chef, but wasn’t earning enough to pay off crippling debts.

That was 12 years ago. Luckily, Sherry, a self-confessed sadist, soon chanced upon her special talent – dominating men.

Now 70, she’s one of Britain’s most popular dominatrixes, with a legion of fans and admirers.

She runs her business from her home in Swindon, Wilts, where she invites “subs, slaves and sissies” into her ‘play room’ for sessions ranging from 50 minutes to overnight stays.

Speaking to The Daily Star, she said: “I have a play room. I don’t call it a dungeon – that would be too pretentious as it was previously a conservatory.

“A sub is a submissive. He likes to be dominated. He likes to do what he is told.

“A slave is a little more intense. They like to serve. They have no say it. They literally do what they’re told.

“A sissy is someone who likes to be dressed in a maids outfit and put to work.”

Sherry insists none of the sessions are sexual and her subs, slaves and sissies are not allowed to touch her – unless it is feet worship.

Men pay to be told what to do by Mistress Sofia. That can include housework, like cleaning the toilet or painting part of her home.

“Sessions can last as long as they want. They can stay overnight but if they do they will be locked in my metal cage,” she told us.

“Most commonly a session lasts an hour – unless it is foot worship and then it will last 30 minutes, as an hour is an awfully long time to have someone worshipping your feet.”

Sherry has told how she stumbled upon her talent and new career by chance.

“I was looking for a way out,” she said.

Sherry was watching TV one night when she saw a documentary about girls having ‘phone sex’ for money.

“I found it very funny and I actually managed to find one of the participants on social media and got in touch with her,” she said.

“She gave me all the help I needed and I found a company to work for and I started doing the phone lines. The pay was absolutely dreadful but it was better than nothing at the time.”

Despite the bad pay, Sherry realised that most of the calls were interested in some sort of domination and as time went on, she realised she was quite good at it.

“Callers started to believe I was a real dominatrix,” she said.

“Before I knew that they started asking if they could book sessions with me. Obviously calls are monitored and you’re not allowed to give out or take information.

“But some of my callers would give me their information even though I said I couldn’t take it.

“I’d say I was ignoring it but actually scribble it down with a pen.

“Then I’d get in contact with them and that’s how I started doing sessions.”

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From fishmonger to brothel boss – the secret life of a Kiwi dominatrix (Mary Brennan)

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Sat, October 23, 2021 00:35:08

Source: NZherald.co.nz.

NEW ZEALAND – Mary Brennan, the country’s most outspoken former dominatrix talks about her life from fish ‘n’ chip shop owner to dominatrix, and her relationship with sex and her body. Katie Harris reports.

See more and larger photo’s on: NZherald.co.nz.

She’s unapologetic, headstrong and honest.

Unburdened by the shackles of social stigma that dog her industry, Mary Brennan is a true maverick, says childhood friend Geri.

“She is a force to be reckoned with – a force of nature and someone who lives in the world at large,” Geri tells the Herald on Sunday.

And it shows.

At a time when traditional brothels have to compete with porn, subscription site OnlyFans and the impact of covid lockdowns, Brennan pulls up her boot straps.

As the madam of Funhouse, an upmarket brothel in Wellington, she now trains workers in the art of being a dominatrix.

But her success in the industry hides a secret. A self-confessed introvert, Brennan isn’t a fan of sex.

She suffers vaginismus, a condition that can make sex painful and impossible for some.

“I’m actually naturally quite introverted. But I’ve trained myself to not seem like that, because of what I do.”

Dream job

Police officer, pilot or TV star are often jobs cited as the dream job for children, but
even as a Catholic schoolgirl growing up in Eastbourne something inside of Mary always knew sex work would be in her future, even if “full service” wasn’t possible.

“I was fascinated by Mary Magdalene and I remember the priests and everyone saying she was a prostitute and because I had four brothers, and she used to hang out with the apostles and I thought, ‘wow, it can’t be that bad, she’s hanging out with all the boys’.”

Her first brush with sex work came at 18, when she and a friend applied for jobs at a massage parlour.

However, when they arrived a sign on the door stated all massages were “fully nude” and the girls made a U-turn.

She turned to hospitality, managing restaurants in London from 1988. To get a visa to stay there Brennan married her best friend Brent Robb, who was gay.

“It was like was the perfect relationship because we could never have an affair on each other. He was in and out of relationships and I used to have little drunk one night stands. But, you know, sex couldn’t ever come between us.”

The couple moved back to New Zealand in 1993 and ran a fish delivery business and later a fish and chip shop in Manaia.

The was destroyed by fire – Brennan maintains it was an arson attack – which led Robb to move to his brother’s farm in the Waikato.

Brennan moved to Martinborough and turned back to the industry she had first been drawn to as an 18-year-old.

She began managing a Wellington brothel part time in 1995 and was soon promoted to manager of two city brothels. Under her guidance, she tells the Herald, the brothels soon became the biggest and busiest in the capital.

“I’m a people manager, that’s what I do. It’s one of the things that made me a really good dominatrix.”

Brennan says she always had a strong belief in human rights for sex workers and clients.

“You know, there’s a lot of clients whose lives are enriched by being able to see sex workers and for that to be in a really safe and decriminalised environment.”

Over the years, Brennan’s worked with friends in the disability sector, trying to marry up the services of sex workers to disabled people who want them.

Spending time with someone who makes you feel special, she believes, can help clients leave feeling like “a million bucks”.

Professionally, she was excelling, but heartbreak came knocking when Robb was diagnosed with cancer. Brennan quit her jobs to take care of him.

After he died she returned to managing brothels and met a woman who was working as a dominatrix.

Brennan went into business with her in the early 2000s – even selling an investment property to boost the business, but things turned sour.

“I lost absolutely everything, got really sick because I was so stressed, the whole thing fell apart.

“I guess I thought that she was a superstar. But she wasn’t, I’d just never seen a dominatrix before.”

Brennan was deep in debt but decided to start again. She and her flatmate began renting out their spare room for sex work.

“So she was working and I had the phone number, and people were ringing me and saying ‘would you do a dominatrix session with me?’ No, I can’t. I couldn’t do it.”

Eventually, she came around, and the clients she started with instantly booked her again, and again, one was a weekly regular for three or so years after.

For Brennan, being a dominatrix was validating, satisfying, heart warming, fun and financially rewarding, but it couldn’t last forever.

“I stopped because the business in general became too busy and I am first and foremost a business woman and second a dominatrix.”

She says it was time to step away, bowing out at the top of her game, and “leaving them wanting more”.

While she was operating her clients didn’t know she had vaginismus, that she didn’t like taking off her clothes, or that she was not “relaxed sexually” about a lot of things.

“I have enjoyed sex from time to time. But it’s not something that I, you know, that’s part of my life now.”

Instead of hindering her work, she says these restrictions actually made her a lot more skilled because she had to compensate for what many “doms” would do naturally.

“I had to be a lot more inventive to make sessions exciting and because when I first started, I would see a client and I’d throw everything I knew at them.”

Two weeks later, they’d be right back, calling to book in another session.

Some, Mary says, would ask her to wear skimpier clothing like stockings and suspenders but this was a flat no.

Wearing “thunder pants” during a session was more her look and helped reassure her former partner nothing else going on.

“No way you’d get naked and strip down wearing them.

“I also wore tights, black thick tights. And if I was doing anything with a strap on, I’d wear little black boy shorts I put over it, like I had about 18 layers of protection.”

Working as a dominatrix gave her a deep understanding of humans, of men in particular, and how simple she says they are – which she says has affected how attractive she finds men.

“I haven’t seen anybody for about 15 years that has made me go ‘woah’. You know, it’s just, this is nothing.

“Once that veil of illusion is stripped away, then there’s kind of nothing exciting anymore.”

Providing BDSM services, Geri says, is Brennan’s way of helping people live out their desires.

“And they’re not all missionary style, and they’re not about a man having a very big ejaculate.”

Advocacy too is a large part of what Brennan does, speaking up on the rights of workers, and the issues and stigma they can face.

When Brennan tells people what she does for a living she says they often remark that she’s not what they expected.

“It’s like what did you expect – someone a lot harder, a lot colder?

“If you judge sex workers, just don’t, they’re just people, just human beings.”

Although managing brothels has been a huge part of her life, Brennan’s never been a full service sex worker. But there was one client she slept with for money.

“He was a barrister at the time and then once a week he’d come in and you know, usually book someone, but he’d always come into the office and say, ‘what about Mary, how much to see Mary?'”

This was typically met with laughter, however, after some time she did sleep with him but it was for a lot more money than usual, she says.

Over Brennan’s years in the industry, sex work has morphed significantly from it’s dark alley predecessor, disrupted by the proliferation of online pornography, OnlyFans and camming.

“When I started in the industry the only porn was in a magazine, so you’d have to go to a shop, it’d be in a sealed plastic bag, you know, people have the stash under the bed, or in this sheet or whatever. Now everything’s online,” Brennan says.

Clients also have more than just “one option” when it comes to buying sex now days, so brothels have to work even harder to get people in the door.

To combat diminishing in-person sex clientele, Brennan only takes about 5 per cent of the women who apply for sex worker roles, something she describes as a “business model judgment”.

“If they’re not going to get the work, their confidence will go through the floor and there is somewhere for everybody, you know, and I try and give as much information and advice and guidance to everybody who applies to me.”

Adding more services to their repertoire helps, so she now advertises things like sensual massage bookings, which are now relatively common.

The Covid-19 pandemic has hit in-person sex businesses hard: while the online sphere boomed traditional spaces have been forced to close doors for rolling lockdowns, if not permanently.

NZ Prostitutes Collective national organiser Dame Catherine Healy told the Herald the situation was still unfolding and with Delta it’s uncertain what the future of brothels will look like.

HIV was also a tremendous challenge, she says, but the industry adapted and a strong safe sex culture was built up.

“The industry wasn’t a casualty to HIV transmission, but Covid, with Delta, is certainly something different.”

With the most recent lockdown Brennan says her workers have more of an understanding about what is going on.

“Funhouse women are resilient and smart. They are also generally frugal and good savers, and pay tax so like other self-employed people are eligible for the wage subsidy.”

When sex work was decriminalised in New Zealand in 2003 sex workers and clients were able to operate without fear of legal action.

Before the law change, brothels were advertised as massage parlours, and staff had to figure out what kind of service a client wanted – without putting themselves in too much risk.

“So you know, someone would come in, and they would pay, say, $40 to the agency, and choose the lady from the lounge, and then they’d go through to a room.”

If a client “just wanted a massage”, Brennan says the worker wouldn’t get paid.

Responsibility for bounced cheques or ensuring clients paid correctly also fell on the workers.

Victoria University of Wellington senior lecturer Dr Lynzi Armstrong studies the impact of this and says the most significant change is that workers now have rights in this country,
“which is extremely unusual, unfortunately when we look at what’s happening in other countries”.

“Having those rights has been so powerful in terms of interactions with clients.”

Having access to justice is another important factor, but this is not available to everyone, she warned, as migrant workers still don’t have the same rights.

For five years after the law reform, Brennan was on the parliamentary review board, and she’s still a vocal advocate of sex worker rights.

“What happened with our decriminalisation, as opposed to what’s happening around the world when they’re trying to come up with rules and laws, is that sex workers were allowed to be part of a process.”

At 60, she sees her life and the things she’s gone through as a mixed bag, and often very left of centre compared to many people’s lives.

“But those experiences have made me the person that I am and given me the confidence and knowledge to do what it is I know I am here to do. I consider myself very lucky.”

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Inside the World of Medical Fetihism

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Sat, October 23, 2021 00:18:30

Source: Papermag.com.

USA – Between the cold, clinical nature of a doctor’s office and all that poking, probing and prodding, there’s a special sort of anxiety attached to a medical examination. That is, unless you have a medical fetish.

See more and larger photo’s on: Papermag.com.

While many people would be happy to never set foot in a hospital again, members of this BDSM subculture are more than pleased to hear the slap of latex against their provider’s wrist or feel the cold diaphragm of a stethoscope on their chest — so much so that they incorporate it into their sexual practice via porn or roleplay. Given that there are so many different types of tests, treatments and exams, medical fetishists are spoilt for choice when it comes to procedure play, which can range from getting a cast or dressing up as a nurse to receiving a gynecological exam, catheter insertion or enema administration. Rather than going to an actual clinic with a licensed medical professional, they instead go to a dominatrix‘s dungeon to try and get “pregnant” from fake semen injected up their rectum.

At least that was the case for medical play specialist Mistress Odette during a recent client session in her dungeon, which encompasses a main room, a full medical laboratory and plenty of tools. And though some may be taken aback by this kind of “edgeplay” — or sexual activities that push safety boundaries — as Dr. Mark Griffiths explained, medical fetishism is “quite inclusive and wide-ranging,” as it can encompass sexual attraction to medical professionals, nurse roleplay and bodily examinations or procedures.

But what exactly is the appeal? For the most part, medical play is about the dominant-submissive relationship between a medical professional and their patient, who is relegated to a “patient, specimen or subject” while being examined by an authority figure. According to Mistress Odette, her patients get aroused by the power dynamics attached to an objectifying medical gaze that’s only concerned with dissecting a body in order to provide a diagnosis. And the result is a complete disregard for your individual autonomy, seeing as how your “health and wellness is being mediated by someone else,” which is something Mistress Odette can play on through things like small penis humiliation.

For most of her patients though, the implication that their naked body is “dirty,” “toxic” or “infectious,” especially while she wears personal protective equipment, can also be a huge turn-on, even when she’s not performing procedures like an enema. However, she said it’s all part of processing a client’s insecurities and facing their fears head-on. Because while they’re being rejected on the surface, Mistress Odette said that many medical fetishists use this sort of scenario in order to “take some kind of charge over something that they actually feel like hurt them in the past” by being the one who chooses to eroticize it.

“Doctors hold this power over us […] They can heal and free us from pain or they can tell you that you’re sick and dying.”

This can also be a form of worship. Though instead of the fascination and reverence inspired by a goddess, it’s an awestruck kind of fear elicited by a human who, quite literally, determines whether you live or die. And as Mistress Odette said, there’s something about being a little scared that can turn you on.

“[With doctors] we give them this extreme and direct access to our bodies in really terrifying ways,” Mistress Odette said, adding that it’s all about the sexual humiliation a patient experiences when “giving up their bodily control.” And what’s particularly interesting is that she also has many doctor clients who, she believes, enjoy the power reversal when someone else is occupying the position they’re usually in. “Doctors hold this power over us, and can alienate us with their knowledge and [clinical terminology],” as Mistress Odette explained,

“They can heal and free us from pain or they can tell you that you’re sick and dying,” she continued, before saying that her doctor clients like experiencing the helplessness that can sometimes come with being a patient who only interacts with doctors in their “most vulnerable state.”

Echoing this sentiment is Kyle*, a college student from Ohio who’s particularly interested in cardiac exams and orthopedic braces, as they insinuate a level of powerlessness. Additionally, he said that these particular fetishes are also rooted in real life, such as the hot male nurse treating his hypertension, which sparked Kyle’s interest in watching his heart rate respond to arousal. Meanwhile, his attraction to casts comes from the brace he had to wear in high school as a gay man attracted to the “more athletic guys” who’d also wear support braces.

“The thing that turns me on the most is the vulnerability of it. If you are wearing a cast or brace then you are restricted in movement and could possibly be subject to the whims of someone else,” he said, adding that it’s “almost a softcore bondage scenario,” because it restricts movement and you can see “someone athletic who is vulnerable.”

Much like Kyle, a friend of Mistress Odette’s named Medical Slave* explained that there’s something incredibly sensuous about being hooked up to monitoring equipment and being played with when she’s “sedated into a twilight state.”

“The feeling of being sedated makes the body just let go and enjoy it even more,” Medical Slave said, clarifying that she doesn’t like to “engage in anything that leaves marks or permanent damage,” which is one of the things Mistress Odette likes to make clear to her patients.

Despite having received a lot of unofficial training from doctors and nurses, Mistress Odette won’t engage in anything that causes “lasting harm,” especially since “the stakes can feel pretty high” and “the techniques prohibitive, because the rules and protocols in the medical fetish scene are strict” — even though she gets asked “almost daily whether [she] will castrate people.”

“I don’t do anything that’s irreversible. That’s a hard line,” she said, though she will do things like suturing “people’s balls over their dicks,” since you can “take the sutures out and go back to your office.” However, irreversible procedures aren’t the only thing she refuses to do, as Mistress Odette also draws the line at fetishizing disabilities.

While disability fetishes aren’t something she encounters normally, she’s aware that acrotomophiliacs — or those who fetishize amputees and/ or want to cut their own limbs off — do exist, though she also thinks it’s different from other iterations of medical fetishism.

“It’s not super related to [more general] medical fetishism, because I think it has more in common with other fetishes that can be disempowering for the subject,” Mistress Odette said. “The ones that fetishize people who are different from them.” Even so, she still tries to “steer clear of people who like to fetishize bodies in that way, because that’s in the same vein of things like racial fetishism. That’s about depersonalizing someone else in a way I don’t love. Especially as able-bodied people who don’t deal with people fetishizing our bodies in that way.”

Kyle added that he’d “never enjoy” something that exploits someone who’s permanently disabled. “That is just not right, [but] my feelings are that casting and bracing are something that are usually short-term, not a lifelong disability,” he said. “I honestly wouldn’t enjoy it if I thought I was negatively impacting anyone or could be perceived as exploiting them.”

Somewhat similarly, the pandemic has also caused an uptick in COVID-related fetishism, which can be interpreted as problematic given the number of deaths related to the virus. However, this kind of play is still less common than you’d think, as even Medical Slave was surprised to hear about the phenomenon, saying that she “hopes there’s no one who truly wants to find someone with COVID to play with,” seeing as how it’s so dangerous. But as Mistress Odette relayed, she does have some requests for vaccine play, though it’s usually from people with a pre-existing interest in it.

“I definitely did like a roleplay where I was like a ‘bimbo vaccine.’ Like vaccinating someone, but instead of it protecting them against corona, it made them a silly little bimbo for me to take advantage of,” she said, before acknowledging that this also plays into “conservative insecurities.” But like she hypothesized before, COVID-related vaccine play could just be a way for people to face something they’re really afraid of, because this is a way to “take control of that fear through making it erotic.”

Granted, if there’s one thing Medical Slave wants to say, it’s that people interested in medical play should take it extremely serious and start slow with a professional medical domme or a trustworthy and knowledgeable partner given the potential dangers.

“I only play with medical or surgical assistants and physicians for that reason. It’s too much of a danger if not,” she said, adding that this is a safeguard for her as someone who’s into the more “extreme parts of medical play,” like sedation. But if you can do that, Mistress Odette says medical play can actually be therapeutic for some, especially those who are processing a related trauma.

“People are working through what they’re working through, like if someone has had a negative experience with a doctor and really wants to roleplay it out,” she said. “And if you’re turned on by it, you’re turned on by it.”

*Names have been changed for anonymity.

Welcome to “Sex with Sandra,” a column by Sandra Song about the ever-changing face of sexuality. Whether it be spotlight features on sex work activists, deep dives into hyper-niche fetishes, or overviews on current legislation and policy, “Sex with Sandra” is dedicated to examining some of the biggest sex-related discussions happening on the Internet right now.

Photos courtesy of Alexandra KachaRELATED ARTICLES AROUND THE WEB

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AnnaLynne McCord says BDSM with Dominic Purcell ‘changed everything’

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Sat, October 23, 2021 00:04:39

Source: Pagesix.com.

USA – AnnaLynne McCord says that getting into a BDSM relationship with “Prison Break” star Dominic Purcell helped her work through her past sexual trauma.

See more and larger photo’s on: Pagesix.com.

The “90210” star says of her former boyfriend, Purcell — whom she describes as a “big, strong, angry Aussie” — “he changed everything.”

McCord, 34, reveals in a candid interview with Giddy’s Marisa Sullivan that she unexpectedly went public with her past sexual abuse when she was pulled onstage at a charity event for survivors.

“When I first told my story, I was dragged up on stage during an event … I was thrown out on stage like a deer in headlights,” she recalled.

Being put on the spot at the gala, she thought, “‘Everything’s been said, everything’s been done’ … I didn’t know what to do, so I said, ‘You’ve heard all the stories from the survivors and the founder, but you don’t know the story of one girl.’ And then I thought, ‘Oh, why did I say that? That was stupid! There’s a thousand people here!’ So, that’s how my story came out.”

Cosmopolitan magazine was covering the event, and reached out to her to do a story in 2014.

“When I was 19, I was sexually assaulted by a friend who was crashing at my home,” McCord tells Sullivan on her Giddy series, “Bare.” “I woke up and he was inside me, and I froze. My whole body … shut down and I didn’t know what to do. Then I blamed myself because I didn’t fight back … Because I didn’t try to stop it.” She’d also told Cosmo that she suffered physical abuse as a child growing up in Georgia.

Years later, “I was going through severe panic attacks, and started to undergo PTSD treatment. I literally went into BDSM — bondage, domination, sadomasochism — because I couldn’t feel anything,” McCord told Sullivan.

That was around the same time she also started seeing Purcell.

“Who broke through the wall?” Sullivan asks McCord, who replies, “A very, very ferociously strong man. Dominic Purcell. You might know him from ‘Prison Break’? He was bustin’ up some heads and breakin’ out of prison. It took a big, strong, angry Aussie. I had such severe sexual abuse at such a young age that my body decided, ‘This is unsafe for you to feel.’ So I was completely numb.”

However, “Dom and I … had this relationship. Yeah, Dom was my dom. There are many reasons why that man will be my forever person … he’s staying at my house right now — we’re not together [but] we’re family is what it is now.”

She says that Purcell “was a mirror back to me,” and that “Dom created space for me, but he called me the f–k out, he did not take bulls–t, and that’s why I trusted him. I trusted no masculine energies, I trusted no men. Because I figured, ‘I’m going to push every f–king button that you have, and if you cave, I can’t trust you.’” But “he changed everything.”

McCord also says of her connection with Purcell: “There was a sexual aspect that was underlying, that was pulling us … and we had explosive sex.”

The on/off couple seems to currently be off, according to McCord’s Giddy chat.

The pair began dating in 2011, and announced their first breakup in 2014. They then reportedly renewed their romance again a year later, but wound up splitting in 2018. By last year, there was speculation that the pair were back on, as they were spotted on a trip to the beach in Southern California together — with lots of PDA.

But in her new Giddy interview, McCord says they’re not together.

McCord was also reportedly with Purcell when he was in a near-fatal accident on the “Prison Break” set in 2016 — which required the actor, 51, to get 150-plus stitches in his head.

Earlier this year, McCord revealed she’s been diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder, previously known as multiple personality disorder.

Giddy’s “Bare” series has also featured Tom Arnold, Jillian Barberie and Gretchen Rossi, among others.

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Top 10 sex fetishes popular among couples right now – from bondage to role play

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Fri, October 22, 2021 23:54:53

Source: Dailystar.co.uk.

UK – The most popular fetishes have been revealed using Google Trends data, so which one are you into the most? MatressNextDay conducted the study and compiled a list of the top kinks

See video and more photo’s on: Dailystar.co.uk.

During the start of lockdown, couples spent more time exploring in the bedroom.

Whether it’s being adventurous alone or with a partner, people had time to find themselves between the sheets.

Now the most popular fetishes have been revealed using Google Trends data as MatressNextDay looked into the stats.

It found masochism has become one of the favourites in recent years with a 300% search increase compared to 2020.

Meanwhile in second place with a 250% surge in search in the last year is sploshing.

The company also worked with sex educator Kate Sloan who explained what exactly each fetish is.

Here are the top 10 fetishes, starting from the bottom…

10. Role Play

This came in at 10th place with a 5% search increase over the past year.

Role play is to act out or perform the part of a person or character/or pretending to be in a different situation.

Kate said: “Try meeting up with your partner at a bar or restaurant and pretending you’re two strangers on a first date.

“This is a good roleplay scenario for beginners because you can essentially play the character of yourself, just in a different situation.”

9. Sexual Humiliation

With a search increase of 26% over the past year, sexual humiliation came in at 9th place.

Kate said: “Erotic humiliation is the act of embarrassing someone in order to excite them sexually.

“It’s important to negotiate beforehand so you know which topics are and are not okay to use as humiliation fodder.

“For example, many people don’t like to have their appearance insulted, but find it arousing to be lightly teased about their arousal.”

8. Bondage

In 8th place came bondage, with a 31% search increase over the past year.

Kate said: “Bondage is the act of physically restraining someone for the purposes of erotic excitement.

“This can be done with rope and cuffs.

“Always leave at least two fingers’ worth of space between the restraints and the person’s skin so you don’t cut off their circulation.”

7. Cuckolding

Cuckolding is the 7th most trending fetish among Brits over the last 12 months with a search increase of 61%.

The sexpert explained: “To cuckold someone is to have sex with someone else in front of a partner.

“While many find this to be a hot fantasy, you don’t have to actually incorporate another person to experiment with cuckolding.

“Instead, you can talk dirty to each other about the third party that one of you could have sex with.”

6. Dominance

With a 62% search increase over the past year, dominance is the 6th most trending sex fetish.

Kate revealed: “Dominance is the act of controlling a session or ‘being the boss’ while your partner plays a more submissive role.

“It can be a good, healthy outlet for impulses that would be viewed as too controlling ‘in real life’.”

5. Objectification

In 5th place came objectification, with a 70% search increase over the past year.

Kates describes this as “the practice of treating someone like an object, whether that be an object of sexual desire or a literal object”.

She added: “Good aftercare is crucial for objectification play – spend some time with your partner(s) after a session just hanging out.

“This can help you transition more smoothly back into ‘real life’ after such a psychologically intense experience.”

4. Gagging

Gagging has received a search increase of over 70% as it came in 4th place.

According to Kate “to gag someone is to push an object/body part into their mouth”.

She explained: “Have a safe-signal, since the person won’t be able to talk.

“They could, tap their partner’s arm twice to signal that they want the gagging to stop.”

3. Impact Play

With a search increase of just over 140%, impact play came in at 3rd place.

Kate added: “Impact play can include spanking, paddling, flogging and caning.

“You can also use a stoplight safeword system, where green means ‘keep going’, yellow means ‘please pause and check in with me’.

“And red means ‘stop immediately’.”

2. Sploshing

In 2nd place with a 250% search increase is sploshing.

Sploshing is getting wet and messy during sex usually by incorporating food items.

Kate explained: “The most important thing with sploshing is to do it in a location that’s easy to clean, like in a bathtub.

“Don’t get any sugary substances in or near the vagina if possible, because of the risk of a yeast infection; if you do, rinse the area.”

1. Masochism

The fetish with the highest search trend over the past year is masochism with a 300% search increase compared to the year before.

According to Kate, this is a sexual interest in receiving pain, whether it’s through biting, scratching or spanking.

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Wealthy Dominatrix’s Killer Uses ‘50 Shades of Grey’ Defense

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Fri, October 22, 2021 23:36:13

Source: Thedailybeast.com.

ITALY/ROME – A court in Switzerland will deliberate the fate of a debt-ridden bouncer who says he accidentally killed his rich British girlfriend during a sex game gone wrong.

In a brightly lit courtroom in the conservative Swiss city of Lugano, a jury is learning the intricacies of kinky sex and erotic asphyxiation to decide whether the death of a wealthy British heiress was motivated by pleasure or pain.

Anna Reed, the 22-year-old victim of this sordid tale, was found strangled to death on the marble floor of a bathroom in the swanky four-star Hotel La Palma au Lac on the shores of Lake Maggiore on the border between Italy and Switzerland in April 2019. Her erstwhile boyfriend, 29-year-old former bouncer Marc Schatzle—whose tattoos run the gamut from FTW (Fuck the World) to ACAB (All Cops Are Bastards), readily admits he killed her—but insists he didn’t mean to.

On Thursday, the German was decked out in an army coat with ornamental shoulder pads, according to a source in the courtroom. Schatzle described the details of their last night together in a legal strategy that has been dubbed a “50 Shades of Grey” defense, named after the popular book and film that brought the ins and outs of sadomasochistic sex to a mainstream audience.

Schatzle insists Reed was into kinky sexual encounters, and was a regular patron of Berlin’s storied KitKat Club, where public sex with strangers is encouraged. The fetish club nearly closed in 2019 but managed to stay open by charging for livestreams of the pornographic partiers. Reed, whose social media moniker was “Berlin Baby” before it was taken down, had posted various shots of herself inside the club. She also posted dozens of shots of herself with Schatzle in what made them appear to be a loving couple.

The two met in Thailand three months before Reed’s death, when the young socialite was on a stopover as part of a round-the-world trip— a 21st birthday gift from her father Clive Reed, a wealthy British horse breeder who is estimated to be worth upwards of $35 million. Reed’s mother died after falling down a staircase when her daughter was just 17. The young woman was so traumatized she dropped out of high school, according to her friends. Reed’s father and surviving sister Millie have refrained from commenting on the details surrounding Anna’s untimely death, though a friend of the dead woman’s sister, journalist Olivia Utley, says Reed is not at all as the press has painted her. “I happened to know Miss Reed a little—her sister, Millie, was my friend and housemate at university, and Anna came to visit several times in our first year,” she wrote in an op-ed on the The Article, last year “ She was chatty, funny and super bright… I remember being jealous of her drive and ambition.”

Schatzle, whose shaved head highlights the word “Warrior” tattooed above his left eye, was nearly $75,000 in debt when they met thanks to an alleged cocaine habit so well known he called himself Marc Dirtywhite—a term used for raw or unprocessed cocaine—on his social media channels, the court heard.

Those inside the courtroom say they watched the tattoo “Fuck The World” engraved on his knuckles as he demonstrated how he had first put a towel around Reed’s neck, and then added pressure at her request as they had sex on the floor—before he accidentally strangled her. “We had sex on the bathroom floor. I put a towel around Anna’s neck,” he told the court, according to transcripts seen by The Daily Beast. “Then I pressed my hands towards it with her hands on my wrists, as we had done a hundred times before. Suddenly she stopped moving. Her tongue was sticking out. I tried to revive her.”

Schatzle then says he ran down to the reception desk, where witnesses at the hotel say he repeatedly punched his head with his fists, screaming to them that his “girlfriend had turned blue.” The hotel says he came down at 6:30 a.m. By the time the ambulance arrived a few minutes later, Reed was already dead.

Five months after her death, cleaners at the hotel found Reed’s Platinum credit card hidden in the fluorescent ceiling tile of the hotel elevator. Schatzle’s fingerprints were on it, but he told the court that he had hidden it there “as a joke” in front of Reed after he said she insisted on paying for everything. It is unclear when he put it there, but the last charge on the hotel room was a $145 bottle of champagne the two shared before retiring to their room for the final time. “We took the elevator to the fifth floor. We teased each other. It was about her credit card and about paying everything,” Schatzle told the court. “So I held it up just for fun. She slipped into the light…” When asked why he disclosed this only after the card was found five months after his arrest he told the court, “You wouldn’t have believed me anyway.”

The jury heard from a number of witnesses during the trial, which is expected to end with a verdict next week. A former boyfriend told the court that it seemed odd that Reed would play the submissive role as she was often a dominatrix in their past encounters. Reached by The Daily Beast, the boyfriend confirmed that he did not envision Reed in that role. “She liked to be in charge sexually,” he said. “I cannot imagine she would ever be the one being choked.”

Another boyfriend said he could not see Reed ever being involved in that kind of sex, though she did like to party. “Anna was a happy and charming girl. She was wealthy but she wasn’t arrogant with her money,” he told the court, according to transcripts. “We would go to sex parties but there was nothing ever extreme or violent. To be fair, she went to the clubs and parties more for the dancing, as she loved dancing.”

During the last court hearing for the defense, the suspect’s lawyer Ysar Ravi gently guided him to describe the couple’s passionate relationship, painting a picture of habitual eroticism that simply went wrong. “How often did you have sex that night on April 9, 2019?” he asked, according to court transcripts. “Was there oral sex? Was the sex consensual? How exactly did the choke game come about?” Schatzle vaguely answered each question and again repeated that it wasn’t the first time they had used erotic asphyxiation. Ravi underscored that such a death was not rare. Hundreds of people die each year during this dangerous eroticism, including Kill Bill actor David Carradine and INXS lead singer Michael Hutchence. Ravi insists that Reed is among those who took things just a little too far.

In his final statement before final arguments next week, Ravi pleaded with the court to overlook his client’s appearance and judge the case on the facts. “Certainly my client is not a saint but he’s not capable of murdering someone,” he said. “Anna’s death was unexpected and sudden. It was undoubtedly negligence but it was a sexual practice they had both shared before.”

Lead prosecutor Petra Canonica Alexakis is asking for 19 years for the charge of murder. She will give closing arguments next week before the jury deliberates, and insists Schatzle knew very well that Reed’s bank account could give him a life he couldn’t obtain alone. She says Reed doubled her expenditures since meeting Schatzle, spending around $10,000 a month on expensive hotels, meals and travel. She told the court Reed had told him she wanted to break up, which is why he killed her. “Marc Schatzle liked the good life, the holidays and all the trappings, but he alone couldn’t afford it,” Alexakis told the court. “After he met Anna, his life had an upgrade. She was ideal for him—beautiful, charming and, crucially, rich. He killed her for a financial motive because the night she died they had argued and she had threatened to leave him. He invented the charade of a sex game to save his own skin.”

The court also heard that neighbors to the couple’s suite heard a loud argument the night of the murder, some three hours before Schatzle went down to the reception hall. They also reported hearing furniture being overturned and glass being broken. The court also heard evidence that could compromise the prosecution’s case including how the initial forensic police botched Reed’s autopsy which resulted in an inconclusive time of death, and a potential loophole for the suspect.

The trial will conclude next week with a verdict expected on Thursday.

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Margaret Qualley And Christopher Abbott Will Be Seen In ‘Sanctuary’

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Fri, October 22, 2021 23:24:13

Film about a Dominatrix and her rich client

Source: Theubj.com.

USA – American actors Margaret Qualley and Christopher Abbott are good to go to star in an impending thriller Sanctuary. The film’s shoot has been apparently enveloped with New York. The film is being helmed by Zachary Wigon, known for his critically acclaimed film The Heart Machine. According to a report by Variety, Margaret Qualley and Christopher Abbott as of late wrapped up their shoot for the forthcoming film Sanctuary. The film’s plot rotates around a dominatrix and her rich client named Hal. The film is set in a solitary lodging throughout the span of one evening. Hal, who has acquired his dad’s position and riches, attempts to cut off his friendship with the dominatrix. As his endeavor doesn’t go as arranged, it is trailed by a catastrophe.

The film is written by Homecoming co-creator Micah Bloomberg. This Zachary Wigon executive is being bankrolled by David Lancaster and Stephanie Wilcox of Rumble Films with Hype Films’ Ilya Stewart and Mosaic Films’ Pavel Burian co-delivering alongside Charades. Acts is likewise taking care of the International sales rights on the film. The US sales and financing of the film have been masterminded by UTA Independent Film Group. Acts’ Yohann Comte, Carole Baraton and Pierre Mazars, Hype FIlm’s Elizaveta Chalenko, Mosaic Films’ Maxim Dashkin, Bloomberg, and Margaret Qualley fill in as the executive producers to the film.

The film’s shoot wrapped up on August 23, 2021. Margaret Qualley took to her Instagram handle to report the news. The entertainer shared a photograph of Christopher Abbott holding his diary. The note in the diary started with, “August 23”. It went on, “Dear diary, I completed (a) film. Can’t accept what going to occur straightaway.”. I the inscription, Qualley stated, “That is a wrap on SANCTUARY!”.

In the interim, on the work front, Margaret Qualley is completely outfitted with her forthcoming Netflix show, Maid. The series will debut on the OTT goliath on October 1. She will likewise before long start shooting for Claire Denis’ Stars At Noon. Then again, Christopher Abbott was most recently seen in On The Count Of Three. He is set to start the shoot for the dramatization Poor Things inverse Emma Stone.

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The sorrowful dominatrix: cartoonists Steve Bell and Martin Rowson on drawing Angela Merkel

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Fri, October 22, 2021 23:10:47

With her generous features and a dolorous countenance, the German chancellor has been an artist’s dream

Source: Theguardian.com.

‘She turned out to be interesting rather than easy’: Steve Bell

EU – Sixteen years is a very long time in politics, and since 2005 we’ve had Tony Blair, Gordon Brown, David Cameron (and Nick Clegg), Theresa May and Boris Johnson – while the Germans have just had Angela Merkel. It usually takes time to get the hang of drawing a politician, particularly one from a foreign country, and Merkel was no exception. I’d only just about got a handle on the SPD’s Gerhard Schröder when he was replaced by the CDU’s first female leader, and my first attempts were a little shaky and somewhat speculative. Was she a Thatcherite? Would she be pro-Bush, like Blair, or continue Schröder’s opposition to the war in Iraq? Would she be easy to draw?

See more and larger photo’s on: Theguardian.com.

She turned out to be interesting rather than easy, with large, generous features, hooded, quite kindly eyes with splendid bags under them, a prominent, rounded chin, and jowls to die for. One has to be very careful while drawing her that she does not come out looking like Kenneth Clarke. I must confess now that I’ve always found her hugely attractive – unlike Clarke – and her features always put me in mind of a particular old friend. Conservative she may have been, but definitely not a Thatcher. She seemed far too rational and pro-Europe for that.

The first cartoon in which I actually managed to get a grip on her likeness was in 2006, where, unusually, she appeared as a dog. In a reworking of Briton Rivière’s Victorian masterpiece Sympathy, the role of the little girl on the stairs is taken by George W Bush. Merkel, ever the pragmatist, was far less critical of Bush’s foreign policy disasters than her predecessor, though by no means as slavish as Blair, who is jealous, having had his nose up Bush’s arse for the preceding six years.

Europe is a constant theme when it comes to Merkel, particularly what she would see as her spirited and principled defence of the nascent single European currency. Others, however, may have interpreted her as Europa, screwing the Greeks rather than the bull, and this is where the figure of the dominatrix of austerity, carrying a whole display team of gimps, comes into play.

Helmut Kohl, her gigantic predecessor as CDU chancellor and former mentor, often fell into the same role, in a leather one-piece bathing suit, fishnet tights and cute pickelhaube helmet – with, in his case, even more disastrous consequences for the inhabitants of the former Yugoslavia, rather than the Greeks.

For me, Merkel’s finest hour, after her extremely guarded response to Cameron’s feeble attempts to renegotiate the terms of Britain’s membership of the European Union, came in response to the terrible refugee crisis of 2015 to 2016. Instead of closing the borders, she offered to receive one million new migrants. Though laudable, as a conservative politician this caused her severe electoral problems and a challenge from the far right at home.

She narrowly held on to power in 2017 in coalition with the SPD, but announced that she would not be standing for a fifth term, which brings us neatly up to date with a reprise of Sympathy in 2019, where a much older Merkel takes on the role of the girl on the stairs forced to bear the attentions of the monstrous Arse Dog Johnson, getting Brexit done all over the carpet. Emmanuel Macron looks on in disgust.

Steve Bell is an award-winning cartoonist. His cartoon website is Belltoons.co.uk

‘I tried to capture a hint of her soul’: Martin Rowson

Among the repertory company of political actors cartoonists feature in their output, we can’t help developing favourites, and often feel a sense of personal loss when they inevitably shuffle off the world stage. This is wholly divorced from either sympathising with or viscerally loathing the politics – or even, quite often, the individual. It’s just the buzz we get from drawing them.

When John Major resoundingly lost the 1997 election, Steve Bell told me he had lost his reason for living because of the Zen-like karmic thrill he got from doing the holes in Major’s airtex underpants. Likewise, George Osborne’s departure from frontline politics still has me grieving: I loved drawing his head because it clearly has no bones in it. And I’m feeling a similar pang of regret at the imminent retirement of Angela Merkel, who I’ve been drawing regularly since 2008.

None of us, of course, can do much about the way we look, though public figures in positions of power often try – either through botox or Photoshop. But while Silvio Berlusconi’s eyebrows got pulled ever closer to his dyed hairline, it’s significant that the woman he described as “an unfuckable lard-arse” didn’t appear to be that bothered about the face life had dealt her, clearly part of her political shtick as an ordinary and homely Ossi who, nonetheless, quietly succeeded in dominating Europe for over a decade.

Her face, in fact, is rather lovely, with more than a hint of the young Iris Murdoch about it. To a cartoonist’s eye, however, she’s obviously the MGM cartoon dog Droopy’s long-lost twin sister. So her defining feature for me has always been the dolorous countenance of her face in repose. This, in turn, has informed the role she’s played in the satirical narrative I found myself creating around her. Small, hunched and apparently unobtrusive; often passively observing some other idiocy nearby; when active, appearing to act more in sorrow than anger.

Even when she was helping immiserate the lives of millions of southern Europeans, particularly in Greece, in the Euro crises from 2011-15, I drew her as morose rather than gleefully malevolent. Whether that reveals the inner truth doesn’t really matter: cartoons are journalism and therefore tend to be the first response to the immediate appearance of things.

But I reckon this portrayal does capture a hint of what, for want of a better term, we may call Merkel’s soul. As she endured in office, I caught a definite whiff of long-suffering discomfort coming off her as she stood uneasily next to cavalcades of clowns and crooks at international summits, or in any meeting with any representative of the British government over the past 11 years. She tried her not-very-good best to disguise the general air of toe-curling embarrassment choking the atmosphere in the room, all of which was etched so eloquently on her expressionless face. Thus, albeit unconsciously, Angela Merkel smiled insincerely and squirmed inside for us all, and for that alone we should salute her.

Martin Rowson is a cartoonist and author

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BDSM Sex club Manchester with underground dungeon shut down after neighbours raise ‘serious concern’

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Fri, October 22, 2021 22:57:21

The club, named The Kink Society, in Dent, Greater Manchester, described itself as a private members club specialising in “alternate, BDSM, fetish, meet ups and socials”

Source: Mirror.co.uk.

UK – MANCHESTER – A sex club just yards from an MP’s office has been shut down after neighbours complained.

See more and larger photo’s on: Mirror.co.uk.

The club, named The Kink Society, in Dent, Greater Manchester, described itself as a private members club specialising in “alternate, BDSM, fetish, meet ups and socials”, Manchester Evening News reports.

It is open from 8am ‘to late’ seven days a week and has a ‘fully-equipped dungeon’.

It also advertised as a “safe space haven for members of the LGBT+ community to congregate and meet without the dangers of victimisation, bullying or prejudice”.

The club used to be found at Advocates House on Market Street in the middle of the town centre – just a few hundred yards from MP Andrew Gwynne’s constituency office and the town hall.

But on Wednesday on Officers from Greater Manchester Police visited together with enforcement officers from Tameside council and Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service after repeated complaints from residents.

It has now been shut down on the grounds that there was no working fire detection in place, and no ‘separation between commercial and residential premises’.

Pictures on The Kink Society website show a red lit room painted black with a four poster bed, restraints and a wall of bondage accessories.

Events are priced at between £10 and £40, according to the Yell listing.

It has earned a string of five star reviews on the site this month, with one poster describing them as “pioneers in their field”.

Paul Fearnhead, head of protection at Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service, said: “Working closely with the council and police, we have acted on fire safety concerns, resulting in robust action being taken to keep people safe.

“GMFRS takes all breaches of fire safety extremely seriously and will take enforcement action where necessary to protect our communities.”

Chief Inspector Lee Broadstock, of GMP’s Tameside division, said: “This premises was causing serious concern within the neighbourhood area and, thanks to the multi-agency approach taken, this premises is now closed and enforcement action is being progressed.

“This shows that we take robust action and use our full partnership powers to keep our neighbourhoods safe.”

The council is also investigating other alleged unlicensed activity and change of use of the premises.

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How to Safely Try BDSM For the First Time

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Fri, October 22, 2021 22:47:46

Experts explain what is BDSM, how to do it, and how to talk to your partner.

Source: Hellogiggles.com.

USA – Chances are you’ve heard of, seen, or even sang about BDSM at one point of your life—Alexa, play “S&M” by Rihanna. Jokes aside, if chains and whips excite you, too, then you’ve likely been interested in trying BDSM, which is pretty common. One 2014 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine found out of the 1,516 adults that were surveyed, 65% of women and 53% of men fantasized about being sexually dominated, and 47% of women and 60% of men fantasized about dominating someone else.

If you’re someone who lies in these percentages, then first, know that it’s completely normal, and second, before trying BDSM, it’s really important to know exactly what you’re getting into. Because the kinks involved in this sexual play can involve pain and intense sensations, you and your partner will want to be fully informed and safe. To help you do just that, we spoke with two sexologists to break down everything beginners need to know about BDSM.

What is BDSM?

BDSM is an acronym that describes sexual practices including bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, sadism, and masochism. According to sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story, BDSM is all about allowing people to explore power dynamics within their relationship with consent. “BDSM is a broad term for a variety of sexual activities, such as role-play and restraint, where there is a consensual power exchange,” she says.

When performing BDSM, there are different roles that a person can take on. These roles are typically split into three major categories known as dominants, submissives, and switches, sexologist Marla Renee Stewart and sex expert for Lovers, a sexual wellness brand, tells HelloGiggles. “Dominant-types (also known as D-types) are usually the ones who are inflicting the pain, punishment, and reward, whether it’s physical, mental, or emotional,” she says. They prefer to have roles where they are tops, recreating scenarios where they’re called daddy, sir, dominant, dommes, or master.

“Submissive-types have roles such as bottoms, little/little girl/boy/child, pets, slaves, submissives, and other tops of service roles which are on the receiving end,” explains Stewart, whereas switches are comfortable in either role.

Why would someone be interested in BDSM?

There can be many reasons why people like BDSM. “Some people want to dive deeper and participate in more bondage and domination acts as a means of exploring their perception of control,” says Alvarez-Story. “While others may use it as a way to introduce more novelty into their sex life, or build connection and trust within their relationship.”

There’s also the psychological aspect of BDSM, explains Stewart. “People like BDSM and kink because giving or receiving pain and punishment tap the same hormone receptors that interpret pleasure,” she says. “There is a surge of dopamine, serotonin, and other happy hormones that make you feel good and give you a natural high when you engage in BDSM.”

Research looking into BDSM shows that both dominants and submissives reported increases in relationship closeness and decreases in psychological stress from before to after their sexual play. Studies also show that both parties enter a pleasurable altered state of consciousness when engaging in BDSM. Bottoms entered an altered state called transient hypofrontality, which was associated with reductions in pain, feelings of floating, feelings of peacefulness, feelings of living in the moment, and time distortions. Tops, in contrast, entered a state of flow, which is associated with focused attention, a loss of self-consciousness, and optimal performance of a task. Ultimately, however, everyone’s reason for why they like BDSM and kink is unique to them.

How can you safely practice BDSM?

When it comes to BDSM, the name of the game is all about consent and open communication. “It is important to understand what you like and don’t like so BDSM can be a gratifying sexual experience,” says Alvarez-Story. To help you discover what you’d like to engage in, do your research. There are plenty of educational online resources and workshops that can help you know your boundaries in BDSM. For example, Bloomi, an online marketplace to learn and shop all things sexual wellness, has a “Yes, No, Maybe List” that shares 69 sex and intimacy acts for you to think through and discuss with your partner(s).

Stewart says you can also attend a munch, which is a casual lunch gathering to learn about BDSM and network with other kinksters. “You can attend kink workshops and conferences to help you get more education and exploration,” says Stewart.

Once you’ve done your research, it’s helpful to set some ground rules with your partner so that boundaries are established and respected. “For example, you can create a contract that lists the activities you’d like to explore, acts that are off-limits, and things that are a potential possibility,” says Alvarez-Story.

Establishing a safeword is also an important part of BDSM. A safeword is an agreed-upon word or phrase that anyone, especially a submissive, can say to immediately stop the activity or session. You can also experiment by adding toys into your sexual sessions, such as The Round Double-Paddle from LoversStores.com, which Stewart says has the perfect softness that allows you to experiment on your own body before hitting someone else.

And finally, Alvarez-Story says what you do after sex (also known as after play) is just as essential in BDSM. “Taking time to care for and connect emotionally and physically is especially important following BDSM activities,” she explains.

How can you talk to your partner about trying BDSM?

So you want to try BDSM but aren’t exactly sure how to bring it up to your partner? The best approach is to be open, honest, casual, and to have the conversation before you begin having sex. You can also introduce it to your partner by watching The Secretary or 50 Shades of Grey with them as a conversation starter to see how they feel about it and have a chance to talk about what you like about the films, says Stewart. “Introducing it this way takes the responsibility off of you just in case they feel some type of way about it,” she says.

Some other conversation starter questions that Alvarez-Story recommends asking are:

“Hey, what do you think about trying __ or __ together?”

“I love when we have sex and your dominant side comes out. How about next time we try a blindfold or cuffs?”

“I was reading about ___, and I think it could be really exciting to try this together on our next date night. What do you think?”

At the end of the day, as we previously mentioned, consent, setting clear guidelines, and doing your research are key. BDSM is unique to everyone, so it’s all about doing what feels good for you and your partner. “Remember BDSM is a judgment-free practice that provides a safe way to communicate about and act out your fantasies and desires,” says Alvarez-Story. “It doesn’t require you to engage in extreme sexual activities, even small acts can bring more play into your relationships and heighten sensation and satisfaction.”

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Playboy model inspired by Kim K says ‘Dominatrix-style’ is next big fashion trend

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Fri, October 22, 2021 22:34:33

Source: Dailystar.co.uk

WORLD – Cover model Iasmin Santos, from Brazil, believes that corsets, black leather and lingerie will be the biggest new street style craze as she donned thigh-high leather heels

See more and larger photo’s on: Dailystar.co.uk.

A Playboy model has said that wearing Dominatrix-style clothing is the next big thing in street fashion after being inspired by Kim Kardashian’s NYC leather look.

Reality star Kim wore the head-to-toe outfit as she checked into the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in New York ahead of the Met Gala.

The extreme look covered even the Kardashian’s face in the shocking appearance which emulated the look of a Dom – someone in the BDSM world who dominates their partners and wears lots of leather, chains and sky high heels to intimidate.

But, while some of us might be questioning the style, Playmate Iasmin Santos was blown away by the look.

And, she’s planning on adding elements of “Dominatrix-style” into her wardrobe including thigh-skimming all leather boots.

Covergirl Iasmin, from Brazil, explained: “The new trend is to dare and test limits.

“Sensuality and pleasure must be taken to the street in the form of clothes now.

“Kim Kardashian is my biggest reference.”

And, for those who think dressing like a sex worker is a bit far, Iasmin insists that people on the street won’t be that taken aback.

She said: “People walk the streets in such vulgar clothes that I don’t think the dominatrix-style would attract as much attention.

“After all, I want to bet on a classic style of this look.”

In this version of the BDSM style, Iasmin proposes that fashionistas rock exposed black lace lingerie and black leather boots.

“This combination always works,” added the model.

And, Iasmin is already pushing the look on social media and recommending her fans get involved too.

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‘SEX GAMES’ Amanda Knox says being whipped by dominatrix was a ‘very positive experience’

Worldwide BDSM News From The Media Posted by tom verhoeven Sun, September 19, 2021 04:21:07

Source: The-sun.com.

USA – CLEARED murder suspect Amanda Knox has told how she stripped to a thong before being whipped by a dominatrix on a cross.

She said she was doing research for a podcast and found it a “very, very positive experience”.

The American author, 34, was wrongly convicted and spent almost four years in jail over the 2007 murder of British student Meredith Kercher, 21, in Perugia, Italy.

Speaking in her latest podcast, she told how she took part in the dominatrix session while researching what “good sex games look like”.

She said: “A part of me was worried the tabloids would find out.

“That it would be yet another headline about Foxy Knoxy and sex games.”

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